InsaneJournal

I may actually kiss T'Challa next time I see him.


Probably time to talk about trauma again. For those who are new to this, I'm Sam Wilson and I'm an actual certified trauma therapist with a Masters in Social Work. (I'm not trained in group work and I'm not really comfortable calling myself a vet, if you're wondering why I don't go to the Wednesday meetings.)

One of the most important things to understand about trauma is there is no objective standard about what's "bad enough" to be struggling with. It doesn't matter if other people have been through worse. It doesn't matter if you weren't physically in danger. It doesn't even matter if someone else was the one at risk and you were "just" watching. What does matter is feeling out of control of the situation, especially if you aren't prepared for it. Your sense of security gets shattered and you're forced to realise that you're helpless and at the mercy of something outside yourself - either someone else or the world in general. So nearly dying can be traumatic, but so can having to wait where it's mostly safe while your friends and family fight and not knowing if they're okay. And trauma is even more likely if you're already stressed or overwhelmed, or if you've been traumatised before.

So, how do you know you're experiencing trauma? There are two sets of symptoms, physical and emotional.

Physically, you might have trouble sleeping or be tired all the time. It might be hard to concentrate on things. You might get startled easily. You might feel edgy or tense, or find it hard to breathe, or feel your heart racing when it normally wouldn't.

Emotionally, you might have mood swings, get angry or want to cry about small things, keep replaying events in your mind or have nightmares, start withdrawing from people, or feel hopeless or numb. You might blame yourself or feel ashamed about what you did or didn't do. You might find you force yourself to do things that upset you, or that you go out of your way to avoid anything that reminds you of what happened. One way of avoiding things is to start drinking more than normal, so pay attention to that.

All of that is completely normal. Usually you'll work through this stuff in the first few weeks or months after the trauma. When it becomes a problem is when it starts interfering with your daily life.

Luckily there is stuff you can do that helps. Getting up and moving is a big one. Even if you just want to curl up somewhere and hide from everything, if you can do even ten minutes of exercise it will burn off some adrenaline and reconnect you to what's real here and now instead of staying stuck in your head. Do something full body if you can like swimming, dancing, running, rock climbing, boxing, and try to really pay attention to your body and how it feels. We've got all this stuff here up on the top two decks. Use it.

Next, make sure you don't isolate yourself. You don't have to talk about what happened. You don't even really have to talk. Just spend time with people and try to keep up with your normal social activities.

You can also do some things to calm yourself down when you're feeling really upset. Stop and find yourself somewhere to sit if you can. Focus on your breathing. Try to keep it slow and even and count each one. Once you're breathing okay, start noticing what's around you. Feel the wall against your back or the texture of the carpet or the breeze through your hair (if you have hair). Pick out five things you can hear, five things you can see that are a certain colour, or both. You can keep stuff on hand like stress balls or something to fidget with if it helps too.

If you've been trying all of that and it's not working, or you just feel really overwhelmed and don't know where to start, don't be scared to ask for help. According to the docs I'm going to be down for at least the next several days before I should really be doing much but there will be other people willing to talk.

And if someone comes to you about things and you're not sure how to handle it, just listen to them and let them talk. Make sure they know nothing they feel is wrong and they're not over-reacting or being dramatic. Spend time with your friends and if you notice someone isn't around as much, reach out to them to see if they're okay. Physical touch is good, but ask first, don't just go around forcing hugs on people. Remember that trauma is a reaction to having no control and recovery is partly about getting that control back.

I don't know if I'm forgetting anything but I've been writing this for over an hour now and I'm about due to crash again. Any questions, I'll answer them when I can.