WHO: Lance & Allura WHEN: Today around midday! WHERE: In the Voltron suite WHAT: Lance doesn't hit on Allura when she's having a down and out moment. CHARACTER GROWTH. WARNINGS: None!
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After the late night in the library, Allura didn’t wake till later in the morning than she usually did, nor did she get up right away. Not until she was pretty sure everyone else in her suite had up and left for the port. And then, to be extra sure, she sent her mice out of her door first to check and make sure.
Last night, she made the decision she was going to move on from that embarrassing talk with Shiro. She’d said it so confidently when discussing it with Pidge, and prior to that, it was easier not to think about it when Zelda was discussing Earth books with her. This time, however, being in the quiet of the common area with no company around, Allura found herself thumbing through a book, but not able to completely focus on the words.
She was a strong Altean, she told herself. She’ll get through this. If she and Shiro remained friends, then great! Fantastic, even. If not, then…
Allura tossed the book aside, and brought her legs up with her on the sofa, burying her head in her arms. Her mice ran right over her and curled up next to her in comfort, one that she could feel running to the top of her head. She was a strong Altean, yes, but once in a while, she needed to let out a good cry too!
It wasn’t that Atlantis lost any spark for Lance, but after the initial eagerness to explore came a more relaxed approach. He’d hung around one of the onboard cafes for breakfast, then took advantage of the ship’s largely vacated pool for a few laps of swimming. By the time he’d eased his way into the early afternoon, he decided to head back to his and Keith’s room to shower up quick and switch clothes -- and then see who was around for another excursion. Surely someone was around, or maybe he could catch up with them if they’d all departed for the underwater city without him.
Lance flipped his towel over his shoulder as he came up to the entry door to Team Voltron’s suite, stooping to unlock it while he hummed a short tune. When the lock was sorted, he tugged the door open and peered inside. Allura’s white hair was the first thing to meet his attention when he stepped inside.
“Allura!” he called out, momentarily distracted as he tossed the towel onto a nearby chair. “Didn’t think anyone would be around, but…” Lance stopped, his expression crumbling a bit as he realized she was folded up with her face buried. “Hey?”
Allura stood up as quick as she could (the mice toppling off of her as she did), and wiped at her face. “Lance! I didn’t expect you to be back so soon. Weren’t you… swimming with mermaids?” Or had he done that already?
She contemplated switching gears and telling him she was on her way out, and then promptly walking out, but she was still in her sleeping robe, having not bothered to change when she didn’t feel like leaving the suite at all.
Lance staggered slightly on the spot, almost bracing his hands out if Allura toppled in her jump to her feet or if an errant mouse came flying in his direction. It looked like she hadn’t even left the suite yet, which made even his swimming trunks and unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt look more ready for the day.
“I… uh, figured they could wait a little today. Took a few laps around the pool instead,” he explained, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder despite that it barely indicated the direction of said pool. It was just something to do with his hands. He lifted his brows at her as further details became evident. Allura was gorgeous no matter what, but her red-rimmed eyes suggested that she wasn’t just napping in the common area.
“Are you okay?”
She hadn’t meant to get caught crying in the common room. She was one of their leader figures, after all, and that meant composure and putting on a ready-for-anything face. Damn, but did she wish she had her mother with her right now.
There was no point in hiding anything from him at this point, because she could only imagine what her face must have looked like. “I’m-- I’ll be alright,” she responded in a hushed tone. “I just did something incredibly stupid last night and I might be paying for it for awhile.” She was at least somewhat relieved it was Lance who had walked in and not Shiro.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine eventually, but you’re allowed to not be fine all the time, Allura…” There were plenty of times when the crushing weight of their mission got to him, and Lance could only imagine what it was like being one of the last of your people… a leader who didn’t have a choice about their role… overall responsible for the well-being of others. That much had gotten clearer the less he saw her as a potential date and more as someone who deserved respect -- and more than he’d previously given her.
“Wanna talk about it? I know about stupid things, believe it or not,” Lance offered. He took a step towards her, waiting to see if she would give permission before advancing further.
Permission was granted in the form of Allura sitting back down on the couch but slightly to the side, giving room for Lance to sit. The mice moved around as well, most of them still opting to curl up on top of Allura. She bit at her lower lip for a moment, trying to figure out the words to say. Despite telling Pidge last night that she sometimes doubted Lance really had a crush on her, she realized how it would sound to him that she had feelings for someone else. She’d felt awful last night herself -- or rather, had been feeling awful for even having feelings for Shiro when he was dating Alice.
“I told Shiro I like him. Have feelings for him.” There, ripped off like a bandaid. “I told him despite that he is with Alice, and I have not seen him since.” Though not at all unintentionally.
It was only a few more steps to cross over to the sofa and snag the space beside Allura. He gave the mice a small smile, sure that they were doing their best to cheer up their princess.
But Lance hadn’t been braced for the admission. Although, maybe in retrospect, he shouldn’t have been so surprised by it. When you started to see people differently and started to really look around, there were little hints all over. Back at the ball around Christmas time, he’d nudged Keith in the side to look at Shiro and Allura sharing a dance. The way she looked at him then -- it felt like it was obvious, even if he refused to admit it. Of course Allura had feelings for Shiro. Lance had just been too caught up in winks and cheesy lines to accept that he obviously didn’t have that chance.
So why did it not sting as much as he thought it would to hear it confirmed? If he felt anything, it was because seeing a friend hurting tugged at his heart.
“Was he mad?” Lance asked. It was hard to picture Shiro getting upset, but their whole situation changed since arrival. “Is this cold-shoulder stuff?”
Allura hadn’t been sure what reaction to expect from him, but hey, at least it was something she could handle right now. She gave him a shrug, glancing up at once to make sure he at least was doing okay. “I told him I’m sorry, and he said I have nothing to apologize for. And then he said he can’t hurt Alice and he’s sorry that if that, in turn, hurts me. I also haven’t really seen him because I was in the library all evening yesterday.”
“I’m sorry, Allura,” Lance offered. He hadn’t known she was off trying to bury herself, and how could he? But what was there he could really say? Don’t worry, things will work out? What would that even mean?
He looked over at the Altean princess for a moment, measuring a better response that didn’t feel like an empty nothing of a reply. “I wish I had some better advice about how to deal with being shot down, but…” He shrugged, giving her a lopsided smile. “At least if you take a chance, you don’t have to think about what-ifs and if-onlys?”
Allura glanced at him again, giving him a slight smile. It was just a lot easier to not cry when there were people around. Even if a part of her wanted to keep going. She was not the kind to consistently bottle her feelings. If she wasn’t expressive around her Paladins, she would be in the solitude of her own bedroom. Or with Coran.
Damn, another one she really missed.
“Except for the ‘if only I hadn’t opened my mouth and said anything’. I am not sure how things will go between us after this.” After a moment’s pause, she added, “Are you okay? With this news, I mean. About my having feelings for someone else…”
“Listen, after all the stuff I’ve said…” Lance waved a hand towards his and Keith’s room. “Keith gets mad at me every other day, and he gets over it. And we’re still friends, right?” His expression softened as he met Allura’s eyes with his own. “As long as we’re friends, of course I’m okay.”
Allura reached out and took hold of Lance’s hand, squeezing it tenderly. “Of course, we’re friends, Lance. Teammates and friends.” She gave it a brief moment before she let go, and then flopped back into the furniture with another sigh. “I am not at all sure what to say to Shiro if I see him again. It’s not like I really gave myself some time to figure it out… it’s just easy to look for a distraction instead.”
While Allura sank back into the sofa, Lance stayed perched upright, eyeing the hand she’d taken hold of just seconds before. It should’ve sparked something, right? A few months back he would’ve given anything to have Allura alone with a perfect opening to offer his arms. And, yet, in the middle of all of those thoughts was the feeling that he knew what it felt like to worry that everything would change between yourself and another person.
“I don’t think anyone’s got the book on how to deal with any of this stuff. I mean, you’re still ahead of me. All I’ve done lately is awkwardly avoid even talking to… someone. About.... Stuff.” Where was he going with this? It was meant to be a show of support, but somehow his mouth had run off without his filter. By the time the last word was out, Lance was left staring off at the far end of the room.
Allura tilted her head at Lance curiously. “Someone? What?” She sat up straight again, having a feeling that he was talking about a particular someone, and the urge to know more seemed to override the blues she was feeling, just for the moment. “About what stuff?”
“Just… just a person,” Lance quickly replied, trying to wave the subject off. “You know people? One of… those.” His eyes tracked to the side, suddenly aware of how Allura was leaning in and alert. Oh… quiznak.
Okay, so maybe he could talk a little about it. It would help maybe? He’d started to ask Alice about this, but it didn’t get anywhere beyond establishing that maybe he just needed to confront Keith. Lance was sure he could. One day. Sometime in the next decade.
“I don’t even know if this… person wants a relationship. That kind of stuff,” Lance admitted. He let his focus slip to the floral pattern of his swim shorts.
Allura squinted at him. Not in a particularly judgmental way, but rather, in a “let me see if I can help you figure this out” way. If anyone asked her outfront, she’d hate to admit she loved gossip, especially when it came to her Paladins, but it wasn’t just that. She always felt touched when any of them would come to her with something secretive that they felt they could trust her with.
And Allura always made sure to keep a secret, if need be.
“Does this person… have someone already?” At least she can first make sure he didn’t end up making the same mistake she had.
At least Allura wasn’t completely prying, and that much made Lance relax into a deflated puddle between two of the back cushions of the sofa. He closed his eyes for a moment, but shook his head.
“No, they’re… not really into mingling and I kinda feel like I would’ve known if they were.” Also, there was the sole fact that for how much time Keith and him spent together, Lance felt there was no way that the math would even work. Unless Keith learned to bend time. He didn’t say as much, however. “I just don’t think they would take me seriously if I… you know.”
Allura couldn’t help herself. She shifted in her seat to face Lance a little better, making a grab for his forearm. “That means you still have a chance!” she said, excitement bubbling into her voice, no matter how hard she tried not to sound too overly cheery. “Maybe. More of a chance than I did, at least. And Lance, it’s you. Sometimes, we don’t take you seriously, especially when you are not trying to be. But when you’re serious, we know when you’re serious.”
She settled back again, next to Lance, leaning back against the sofa as he was. “I won’t pry--” No, because she had mice to spy for her if she needed anyway! “--but it is someone from the boat, right? I’m assuming, and not from Atlantis.”
Lance exhaled, and somehow found a way to droop even further into the pillows so that only his lanky limbs jutted out. He wasn’t really sure if this was helping now that he’d said enough that there was no taking any of it back. It was great for Allura to think he stood a chance, but Lance found himself making up a small laundry list of reasons he didn’t. First of all, he wasn’t even sure if Keith was into women or men. Or anyone at all. And maybe this was all just some crazy grasp in the first place, right? He hadn’t even unpacked the idea that maybe he wasn’t exclusively into women.
And despite all that, here he was, confessing things to Allura. Allura, who was asking him a question? Lance looked over, eyes opening. “He’s not from Atlantis, nah. But he might… they! They might, uh… oh god.” Lance reached out a hand, grabbing the nearest pillow and smothering his face with it. Should’ve shut up way earlier.
Her eyes widened at that slip of the tongue. “Well! That was honestly not what I was expecting.” And then she rushed to add, “Which is not bad! Just unexpected. Lance…” She reached over to attempt to pull the pillow down from his face. “I said I wouldn’t pry, and that’s all I was going to ask anyway.” She had to smother the amused grin that was threatening to break out because that probably wouldn’t help. But, his slipped confession and embarrassment was endearing in his own way, especially considering a part of him probably felt comfortable enough around her to let it slip. At least she hoped.
“Would you want some help finding out he feels, though? I have my ways, you know!”
On the one hand, at least the subject of Shiro seemed to have sailed free and clear of the room. On the other, Lance was sure if he could meld with the sofa and vanish, that might be a kind fate than trying to talk his way out of this. He only let Allura pry the pillow away because it felt pointless to fight against someone who could hoist him over her shoulder without breaking a sweat.
“I want to shove my foot in my mouth?” Lance ventured. He pulled a faint frown, reaching his hands up to his face to cover his eyes, then smoothing his fingers back through his still-damp hair. “You know, if you asked me how I planned to spend the day, it probably wouldn’t be ‘Oh, you know, sitting with Allura and talking about this guy.’ I don’t -- I always thought I knew the kind of woman I wanted, and now…” He flicked his hands outward into the open space in front of him. “I don’t know what happened. It’s confusing. It’s… scary.”
“I’m not going to shove your foot in your mouth,” Allura said, smiling at him fondly. Even though with her strength, she quite literally could. But, she reserved her violent side for the Galra specifically. “If you ask me, I’d tell you I didn’t necessarily have plans to sit here and cry let alone be caught doing it. But, that’s… not quite the same thing, I guess.” She sat up straight and faced him again. The mice, sensing that Lance was doing as good a job as any to help her, had scattered already and were busy horsing around with each other on the coffee table.
“We never really had time to figure all of this out before, did we? With the consistent fighting and retreating. And recruitment.” Particularly the crazy publicity stunts, Brainwashed Coran had them pull but that wasn’t something that Lance remembered. “I know it’s confusing and scary, but it’ll take some time to adjust. In the meantime, though, it seems like both of us could use a sufficient distraction. Have you gone shopping in Atlantis yet?”
Lance gave a last sigh before mustering enough energy to push himself back up to mostly sitting. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel now. That was the first time ever admitting outloud or to anyone else that of all choices in the world, it was another man who’d landed his attention. Relief didn’t seem to be making itself known, but maybe it felt a little less like a delirious dream that was tucked away in his mind now. And Allura hadn’t mocked him for it, even despite his best efforts to flirt with every female of every species during their Voltron missions.
“Guess you have a point, huh? And out here, all we have is time. Which, like, I’m cool with. It’s nice to relax and not worry that the minute we get a break, someone is right back trying to kill us?” But at the same time, it meant days on end with the team on top of each other. What would happen when they all got sent back home? Keith supposedly left the team to join the Blade of Marmora. How temporary was this place in the end?
Still, Allura seemed to find the magic word because Lance perked up at the end of her suggestion. “Shopping? Not yet, but if you give me five minutes to change I’m totally down for it.”
With all the information that they had received about this place, Allura too was worried about being sent back. Or even staying here for so long that she started to go stir-crazy. When those moments popped up, she at least had her training to calm her down.
Now she wasn’t even in the Castle anymore.
But, instead of voicing that thought right away, Allura stood back up again with a nod. The prospect of shopping was now much louder than anything in her head. “I’ll get changed as well and meet you back out here in a few ticks!”