ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛᴏ (messofhangups) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2017-11-30 09:22:00 |
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Life had sort of settled into a routine and it was one Prompto was fairly fond of. He could, however, do without having to heave the garbage bags from the shop to the dumpster. It was autopilot at this point, so much so that he almost missed the small whimpering noise from between the dumpsters. Almost. Prompto stilled and glanced to the space between the two containers. He kneeled down slowly and reached to gently push aside a piece of cardboard that obstructed his view. Another whimper broke through the air and Prompto sighed when he saw a shaking dog cowering back toward the fence behind the dumpsters. His heart immediately sank for the poor little guy - and even though it was kind of dark between the dumpsters it wasn't hard to make out that the poor thing was in rough shape. “Hey, buddy,” Prompto said gently as he extended his hand out. “It's okay - I'm not gonna hurt you -" He smiled softly as the dog crept forward and butted his head into his hand and slowly, as not to scare the poor guy, Prompto started to pet the top of the dog’s head. It was slow going but finally the dog stepped out from between the dumpsters and Prompto gave him a grin. Though in the light it was easier to see the bad shape the dog was in - and from the thinness of the animals frame to the way it's fur was dull with dirt and matted in some spots it was clear the dog had been on the streets for a while. Prompto gently scooped the dog up and stood. “You wanna come home with me, buddy? We can get you cleaned up okay?” Which was how he found himself in the bathroom, kneeling on the floor as he used the shower head to gently work the dirt and muck out of the dog’s fur. He talked softly as he worked, just random chatter as it seemed to keep the little guy calm. Prompto had grabbed a pair of scissors and slowly worked at cutting out clumps that were too far matted to detangle and tossed them in the garbage. And he was giving another last rinse when the dog’s ears perked up at the sound of the door. Prompto grinned and started to stand. “It's just Noct, little dude. I'll be right back,” he assured the dog and moved out into the hall. “Noct?” Prompto called out and then rubbed a hand across the back of his neck with a sheepish look when he saw his boyfriend. “Uh - so - please don't be mad, but -" he started and headed back toward the bathroom as he motioned Noct to follow. “I just couldn't leave him,” he started, his voice thick with emotion as he moved to kneel back down in front of the tub. “And I know we can't really afford a dog and we can take him to the shelter but I just - I just wanted to make sure he was cleaned up and okay first…” he trailed off with another sheepish look and glanced from Noct to the dog and really the idea of having to give him up was already feeling daunting. Noctis was exhausted, but the kind of bone-tired ache that felt satisfying. He'd managed to get up early for a seminar, made it through a full day of work, and even caught up on his assignments at a nearby coffee shop. Who even was he anymore? Probably someone staying busy to avoid thinking about any of the traumatic things he'd seen recently, but that was another matter entirely. He was just grateful that he didn't have to use his cane all the time anymore. The metal leg brace had come with him to Tumbleweed, and he was determined to use that as much as possible. Even if his equilibrium was still a little off. Case in point, it took a little longer for Noctis to get all of his things through the door and onto the nearest table. He had half a croissant between his teeth when Prompto came in, but his eyes said enough: he was glad to see him, then confused by the suggestion that he'd be mad about something, and, finally, resigned upon seeing the real reason for all this strange behavior. Noctis continued to eat while his boyfriend talked, eyeing the dog the whole time. "Uh huh," was all he said. This had been inevitable, really. What with all the talk of chocobo and Vanille's job (twinge of guilt there) and then the infestation of fluffy killer monsters. Noctis was honestly surprised it had taken this long for Prompto to find a stray animal in the first place. He finished his croissant and heaved a sigh, heading out of the bathroom in search of a towel. "You can't just take him in, Prompto. He needs to be checked out by a vet." Noctis spoke as he rummaged through the hall closet, returning with a towel that he passed to his boyfriend. After, he stood there with his hands on his hips and knew, instantly, that he'd cave on this. When had he ever denied Prompto anything? When would he? Definitely never. Especially not if his boyfriend gave him the puppy eyes. The gremlins had definitely been a blow - mostly because Prompto had taken care of theirs damnit. But still they’d gone back just as quickly as they’d come. And while they probably weren’t an ideal pet they had still been damn cute and interactive and he had been kind of bummed about them going away. Even if it was for the best. So yeah, maybe he was compensating a bit right then with bringing the dog back to their place instead of straight to a shelter. Which would have been the smart thing. No time to get attached. But he hadn’t done that. Still he does try to deny what is the inevitable outcome of all of this. “I wasn’t gonna take him in,” he countered to Noct’s comment. “Just for a day or two until I take him to -” he trailed off again and took the offered towel. Gingerly Prompto lifted the dog out of the tub and set him down on the bath mat before he started to dry him off. Which earned him a few licks in the face and Prompto laughed a little at that. Outside of taking care of Pryna for those few weeks, Prompto had never had a pet. But he’d always liked the idea of it. And any animal he did manage to spend time with always seemed to dull a bit of that constant noise in the back of his mind. This was no exception, and was almost to an even bigger extent. Because, after all, that noise had only gotten louder as the years had gone on, as the traumas had piled up. He looked up at Noct from his spot on the floor. “Vanille could check him out,” he suggested. Noctis watched the two of them interact with a strange, disorienting sense of déjà vu. But he hadn't been there for the time Prompto looked after Luna's dog, which was a story his boyfriend had shared with him in Knowhere. So what was it, then? He shook his head to dispel the feeling and leaned against the nearby sink, arms still crossed. "Vanille isn't a vet. He probably needs shots and stuff," Noctis pointed out. By now, he'd come to terms with the fact that this dog was going to be part of their lives, but he wasn't about to cave quite so easily. Not until they'd discussed all the logistics of this. "Say you keep him," he continued. "Who watches him while we're at work? That's a long time for this guy to be alone." Noctis didn't think it was right to do something like that to an innocent animal with no choice in the matter. And maybe, deep down, it reminded Noctis of how most of his childhood had gone. Left in a big place while his dad worked somewhere else. It wasn't something he was conscious of, however, even if his brow knit watching the dog shake out his damp coat. It wasn’t even as though Prompto was actively trying to convince himself - and Noct - to keep the dog. It was just sort of… happening. “No, she’s not,” he agreed as he worked on drying the fur. “But she works at a vet’s office and can probably help get all that sorted.” Maybe even at a discounted price if they were lucky but that was something Prompto wouldn’t expect or bank on. “We’d need to get him fixed too,” which was another expense they probably shouldn’t be taking on. It wasn’t like either of them got paid horribly or anything, but they just hadn’t had the chance to start accumulating extra money yet. “He seems pretty young though, it’d probably be best to wait on that for a bit anyways,” he added and glanced up at Noct again. The vet would be able to tell them that though. Prompto looked back to the dog and grinned when he patted a paw against his thigh. “Look at that, buddy, all clean,” he said to the dog, though there were at least a few patches where it would take a couple weeks to be less bald looking after cutting out the worst of the matting. Prompto’s hand drifted over the dog, a small wince at the feel of ribs that were protruding. “I can come home over lunch,” he said in response to Noct. “I usually do anyways,” a small shrug. He never seemed to remember to pack himself a lunch and often ended up making the walk back to eat - and half the time checked in on Beatrice as well. Noctis couldn't exactly help the smirk that tugged at his mouth when the dog pawed Prompto's leg. He knew how good his boyfriend was with animals, but it never really got old watching interactions like this. It was just too endearing, try as he might to resist the charming picture they made together. Even the dog's fur was spotted like Prompto's freckles. And if he was having thoughts like that, it meant Noctis was getting attached already. This was his life. These were his choices. "We gotta ask the guys upstairs if it's okay," he continued, proud of the fact that his voice still sounded firm. "And he needs to meet Beatrice. If they don't like each other, that'll make this harder." Not that he was the authority on keeping pets. Noctis hadn't been allowed any as a kid either, although he'd coaxed his fair share of neighborhood cats into the Citadel garden, much to everyone's chagrin. That didn't count, though. He made no attempt to greet the little puppy during all of this not because he didn't want to, but because it would crumble any last resolve Noctis had about this whole thing. And somebody needed to be rational here. They didn't have Ignis or Gladio to do that for them. Prompto nodded at the suggestions. Which were all good. Reasonable. Responsible. And there was a flush of pride at Noctis being so damn smart about all this - because gods knows he himself was more on the line of ohhhh dog let’s keep him, even with the bravado of I could take him to the shelter. Prompto was a sucker though, especially as the dog went from just a paw on his thigh to all but clambering into his lap for a cuddle right there on the bathroom floor. He looked back at Noctis with a bright grin and then took a moment to nuzzle into the dog’s neck where the fur was soft from the bath. “Yeah, no - I know, Noct,” he agreed. “It’s their place really after all,” though given they already had a dog Prompto was pretty confident they would be okay with it. And Beatrice? Well - “you’ll like Beatrice, won’t you?” he cooed at the dog with a grin. “She’s a good puppy, just like you.” Noctis made a show of heaving a heavy sigh, as if this were some great burden he was acquiring when they both knew he liked animals just as much as Prompto did. He'd never admit it, though. "You're a real sucker for strays," he pointed out unnecessarily. Then he left the bathroom with a parting, "At this rate, our apartment will turn into another shelter." It helped him feel a little more in control of the situation if he made light of it. That and he ended up in the kitchen, proceeding to get ingredients out for a stir fry. Noctis had every intention of feeding bits to their new family member, but you couldn't prove it. He hadn't been cooking for very long — about two weeks, give or take — but he stuck to fairly simple recipes and seemed to be managing fine with it. Sherlock had even stopped in at one point to direct Noctis, and he'd had to bite back an embarrassing emotional response just hearing somebody with that accent talk about food. Still, Prompto said he liked when Noctis did things like this, which meant he made an effort to do it far more often than he would have otherwise. Case in point: stir fry for dinner, though his books and things were still strewn over the kitchen table. Some things didn't change. Prompto couldn’t help but grin a little conspiratorially at the dog at Noct’s big show. Of course Prompto wasn’t trying to get too ahead of himself, but he can't help it. Already the thought of having to hand the dog off to the shelter felt more than wrong. Already his mind was conjuring up images of lazy Sunday mornings, cuddled up with the dog in their bed and nowhere to go. And he wanted it. Wanted to have something to take care of that was theirs. They'd never have a family in a traditional sense. But they could have this. Prompto, and the dog, followed after Noctis and Prompto grinned at his boyfriend as pressed a quick kiss to his cheek as he moved toward the cupboards. “What can I say, strays are my kindred spirits.” After all, he kind of was one himself. “It won't get that far,” he assured Noct as he reached into a cupboard to grab a bowl. “Only like… four. Max five,” he was completely joking of course. He moved to the sink and filled up the bowl to set down for the dog to drink. He felt a cold, wet nose press into his ankle, and he huffed. "If you say so," Noctis replied, not exactly agreeing, but unwilling to question Prompto's bizarre and inexplicable connection with tiny furry things. The kiss on his cheek seemed to settle him though, at least for a bit. Meanwhile, the puppy continued to sniff around their kitchen, and Noctis made sure not to bang around like he usually did with the pots and pans. Sudden loud noises seemed to startle the poor thing, and he wasn't cruel. "Don't even joke about that," he groused, bending down to offer their new addition a bit of chicken after he'd cooked it in the pan. "We'll end up with a farm in here and, like, fifty puppies you won't want to give away." Noctis' voice was a strange mixture of exasperation and fondness. Came with the territory of being close to him. There's a smile as Noct offered the puppy some chicken. “Please, Noct - I'm not a heathen,” he paused as he moved close to Noctis, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend from behind and letting his chin rest on Noct’s shoulder. “Like no more than thirty,” the amusement evident in his tone. “Unless we actually had a farm,” he grinned. Of course it wasn't a serious idea - but there was kind of something wistful to the idea. Some house on a big yard, couple dogs and cats running around and some chickens. The kind of quiet life they'd never get back home. “What can I do to help?” he asked and moved back to give Noct space to cook. Noctis relaxed into Prompto's embrace immediately, though he was careful not to lean back with too much of his weight. That his boyfriend could probably handle it fine didn't matter. He was always mindful of his strength, hyper aware of his body whenever other people drew close, but he trusted Prompto implicitly. Noctis wanted to touch him, and be touched by him, even if he still held back a little. This was good, though. Better than good. "Thought you wanted a chocobo farm," Noctis said, finding he weirdly liked the idea. The two of them out in the middle of nowhere looking after chocobo, a pack of dogs, and a few wandering cats. Maybe even a pond where Noctis could go fishing. He leaned his cheek against the side of Prompto's head, feeling so content by the combined warmth and mental image that he could've napped standing up, which was a feat even for him. It was a good thing Prompto moved or else they'd have overcooked stir fry -- worst case scenario, an outright fire. "You can give me a kiss and go relax," Noctis said, throwing a lazy smirk at his boyfriend. He could actually figure dinner out on his own, and he wanted to start doting on Prompto more. Plus, they had a guest to entertain. Somebody had to be on pup duty. “I mean - I wouldn't say no to a chocobo farm,” he answered with a grin and a shrug. “We could make it your official royal retreat.” That was a thing, right? If not he would have to remember to make a thing when or if he got back home and caught up to when Noctis had come from. After all even kings needed a break once in a while. Prompto smiled at the suggestion. There was something so stupidly domestic about all of this - standing around their kitchen talking while Noct cooked them dinner, the dog circling around their feet - and it made him so ridiculously content and happy. More than he had ever thought he could be. So he turned back toward Noct and with a bit of a cheeky grin cupped his hand around the back of Noct’s neck. “Can do,” he said lightly before he used the hand behind Noctis’ neck to tug him in close. Prompto pressed their lips together, light for only a moment before he deepened the kiss and let his tongue slid against Noctis’ as his other hand moved to lower back and then slid even further to cup Noct’s ass. He tugged Noct’s lower lip between his own, a brief little nibble before he pulled back and grinned again, fully aware he was being a little teasing shit. “You're the best, babe,” he said and moved to sit at the table, the puppy not far behind him. Noctis huffed out a breathy laugh, amused by the thought that he'd have time to even step foot out of Insomnia once they got back. "Royal retreat, huh? It'd better have fishing." He was teasing, and yet, warmth spread through him. That Prompto would even think to suggest such a thing was so endearing, so very him, that Noctis was helpless against the charm. You're always looking out for me, he thought, gaze drawn to the man at his side. I want to look out for you, too. Always. His father's ring felt heavy on his hand again, and he knew that soon — really soon — he'd propose to Prompto. Ask to make his best friend in the whole world his husband. It was with that thought in mind that Noctis pressed in close to return the kiss eagerly, not with his usual light pecks and nuzzles that tended to escalate in a nice, slow burn. This time, he licked the taste of food off Prompto's tongue and teeth, and he made a soft noise when he felt that hand drag downward. "Fuuuuck," Noctis said, breathless and dark-eyed when Prompto drew back. Eloquent as always. He had to force himself to breathe, the air shuddering through his lungs as he struggled to focus on their dinner. He'd certainly asked for that, even if he hadn't intended to get quite so worked up. Just the thought of Prompto wearing his clothes was enough to make him weak-kneed, but wearing his ring? That was another thing entirely. It took a minute or two for Noctis to finally get control over himself. He was almost finished preparing dinner, since stir fry was pretty simple. "Did you think of any names yet?" He wondered aloud, moving to plate them two portions, one of which he set down in front of Prompto. Then he got them drinks. See? Noctis was capable of being a good host. Sometimes. When he tried, anyway. Prompto, of course, knew what that kind of kiss would do. And so there was a smirk at Noct’s reaction. Even if he himself was a bit worked up himself from it too. What he didn’t know however, was what Noctis was planning. And idea that hadn’t even crossed Prompto’s mind - mostly because he just assumed that wasn’t an option for them. So he remained completely oblivious but completely happy nonetheless in their warm and ridiculous domesticity - now complete with a dog weaving between his feet under the table and hoping for a scrap. Prompto grinned at Noct at the question and not very discreetly at all broke off a piece of chicken to lean down and give to the dog. “Not really,” he admitted. Because naming was definitely getting attached and he was trying here, dammit. “What about you,” he asked the dog who happily scarfed down the chicken. “Got any ideas, buddy?” Yes, let’s ask the dog, A+ plan Prompto. It was kind of bizarre that they were playing house like this, but Noctis didn't call attention to it, nor did he really mind. If this kind of thing made Prompto happy, he was more than ready to get on board and learn what he had to in order to make it work. Even if he'd never had to cook meals, clean, or function somewhat normally in all the years he'd been alive. There was a learning curve though, right? And Prompto seemed pleased right now, so he must be doing okay so far. Noctis sank into his chair with a grateful sigh and began eating, not really focused on the taste. He was just relieved to finally be sitting after a long day on his feet, and maybe, yeah, there was something a little rewarding in having prepared a meal. Especially if he skipped all the vegetables and went straight for making a meat-only dish. Nobody tell Ignis. He watched Prompto interact with the puppy, feeling something warm and bright unfold in his chest. "What about Felix?" Noctis asked, tilting his head a little to get a better look at the guy. They'd known someone in their graduating class with that name, and he'd always sort of liked it. Not that it really mattered — this dog was clearly Prompto's to name, considering how the pup refused to stray too far from him despite clearly being eager to scope out the rest of the apartment. It made Noctis smile, which he tried to hide by stuffing more food into his mouth. Smooth. Prompto had been half tempted to point out the obvious - that could it really be called a stirfry with no vegetables? But he was content to just eat it anyways - it was good and there was something about Noctis cooking them dinner that had quickly become a thing for him. Noct had the clothes thing and Prompto had the being taken care of thing. Which, if he let himself dwell on it, would probably go down some depressing road of never having had that much being a cause for finding so much comfort in it now. This whole “playing house” thing they’d settled into was easily the most secure Prompto had ever felt in his life. Even with the impending you will probably get sent back that loomed over him. “This is awesome, thanks Noct,” he said as he took a bite for himself. At the suggestion Prompto took another bite and chewed as he glanced down at the dog thoughtfully. “How about it, buddy?” he asked after he swallowed his chicken. “You like Felix?” The dog lifted his head and barked and Prompto looked back at Noctis with a grin. “I think we have a winner.” "Guess this means we're keeping him," Noctis said, tone dry despite the smirk that twitched at the corner of his mouth. He shifted a little so he could lean his leg against Prompto's under the table, enjoying the warm, solid presence. It was a silent show of support though, too — one he knew his boyfriend would instantly be able to interpret. That's what was so great about dating your best friend, wasn't it? How you could just be seen and known by someone so implicitly that words weren't needed. I'm with you on this, Noctis conveyed. Except he had a few more questions to clear up still. "Where's he sleeping?" Was the first, because yeah, Noctis had priorities. He didn't look up from his plate, though, knowing he'd blush otherwise. And that was so annoying. He couldn't control his facial expressions any more than he could apparently control getting flustered every time they discussed sex, despite all the things they'd done with each other up to now. Noctis glanced sidelong at Felix, who had been staring up at him hopefully for the better part of a minute or so, and shot him a look. No effect. It figured. He grinned at Noct's declaration, bright and happy. And maybe it was a small thing in the grand scheme of everything - a dog. But it was theirs. Another little piece into this life they were building for themselves and for Prompto that was everything. He knew what awaited him when he got sent back, knew he had years still of waiting for Noctis on the other end of this. He damn well intended to make the most of the time they did have here. Prompto bumped his leg against Noct's at the flustered question - which was all kinds of endearing and adorable though he figured Noct probably wouldn't appreciate being told that. "What - you don't want Felix staring at us while we do it?" he asked though and the deadpan attempt was ruined as he broke out laughing at the end of the question. "We'll get him one of those dog bed things, a super comfy one so he's not tempted to stake a claim to the foot of our bed," he answered more seriously. Of course he fully intended on having his puppy cuddles now and then but he was with Noct on this one. He didn't really want to make a habit of letting Felix sleep with them Noctis didn't even need to change his expression — the look he'd shot Felix was now directed at Prompto, the full force of his displeasure practically radiating off him. "That's really gross, babe," he said, flatly. Of course he knew Prompto was just joking, but no. Full stop. PDA was hard enough for him to handle on a good day, but their dog potentially interrupting alone time? That was a big No Fucking Way for Noctis, who was perfectly content ending a sexual encounter right in the middle and throwing them both out of the room, thank you very much. "You're picking out his bed," he said, going back to eating. Then he paused a moment later, glancing back at Felix again. "How big d'you think he'll get?" Noctis kind of liked the idea of a large dog around. Not that he'd ever thought of it before. Or any of this, really. But Prompto always seemed to bring out the domesticity in him. Noctis wasn't aware that he craved stability — that the routine they'd settled comfortably into had brought him far more peace than anything else might have. His life had always been full of chaos and upheaval. This little thing he had going with Prompto was really nice. It was a relief. It was what made it work really, the fact that they both took such solace in the simplicity of their life here. It was something Prompto thought about a lot lately. That they'd both been so alone for so much of their lives in their own ways. Prompto had had a house, four walls and a roof and all that with his parents but nothing had ever felt like home until Noctis. This was just the extension of that and he finally felt like he could breathe easy for once. Of course their problems, their respective damages didn't just magically go away the moment they had been pulled from their world. But it was easier somehow to let go of it all, even a little bit. He knew it would hurt to lose it when that day finally came, but he tried not to think about it too much. Prompto glanced at Felix and gave him another scrape from his plate and then turned his attention to the dog's paws. Which were a fairly decent size and Prompto grinned at Noct a little. "Around Umbra's size maybe?" A decent size. None of that mini dog stuff some people seemed to like. Noctis visibly perked up. "Really?" He tried not to smile too much, because honestly, it was a stupid thing to get excited about. Who really cared about a dog's size? But Felix's tail was wagging, and he was theirs, and maybe Noctis was beginning to understand what was happening here. He'd had a small inkling — the jobs, the shared domestic duties, the friends they were making — but it was starting to feel real in a way it hadn't before. This wasn't a freezing, floating space station. This was a regular apartment in a small town, familiar and quaint. Maybe Noctis had been too busy throwing himself into work and classes to see what was taking shape right in front of him this whole time. But then, that was pretty typical of him. He reached out to grab Prompto's hand from across the table, a sudden idea occurring to him. "Dude, we have to teach him how to send messages. How cool would that be?" Okay, so Noctis was officially invested now. That's usually what the useless creative ideas meant. Noctis' enthusiasm - when he let himself give into it - was more than infectious and Prompto grinned brightly as Noct started to get excited. It was hard not to. Not that he had ever thought to not do it, but Prompto was happy he'd brought Felix home seeing Noct smile like that. He laced his fingers through Noct's and gave his hand a little squeeze. But then Noct kept talking and Prompto tried really hard not to falter at the idea. But it was hard. He didn't let go of Noctis' hand through, even if his gaze fell to the table. "Yeah that'd be cool - I just…" he trailed off for a moment and bit at his lip before he spoke again. "That was like your thing - with Luna. I wouldn't want to…" he shrugged, not really sure what word he was wanting there. Impose, intrude… replace. Not that he ever for a second thought he could. It was just hard sometimes. Knowing that Noctis had been set to marry her. And probably would have if everything hadn't gone to hell. A fact he wouldn't dream of holding against either of them. Instead the kind of thinking that would hit him sometimes and make him feel guilty for having something that was never supposed to be his to begin with. Noctis was surprised and dismayed when his suggestion upset Prompto, but he took a moment to process why he was sad. It hadn't occurred to him that writing in a notebook was an activity exclusive to him and Luna. Their friendship was something irreplaceable, an impossible thing to replicate simply because they were unique individuals, just as his friendship with Ignis was different, and Gladio, and Iris, and Prompto, too. Prompto more so than anyone. He'd always been special, singular, which is why Noctis didn't really attach traditions to people. "It's not like that," he insisted, brushing his thumb across Prompto's knuckles. Noctis watched his boyfriend carefully, mindful of his facial expressions. "You're both really important to me, but you're two totally different people. Kind of like ... I'd want to show her the PS4? But that doesn't mean games aren't our thing anymore." Was he making it worse? He was probably making it worse. Noctis winced a little. "... Uh. Seriously, if it's too weird, we can just teach Felix something else." He was making it weird and he knew it. But it had started and all he could really do was watch helplessly as he spiraled even further. "It's not… I'm not... " another sheepish shrug. "Ugh I'm not explaining right, I don't know…" Prompto’s face scrunched up for a moment and he just dove right in. Because why stop at weird when can just make this bad too right? "I know your engagement to her was arranged but I know how important she was to you… how important you were to her. And even if it was arranged or whatever I know you two would have made it work and made each other happy.." His gaze was on their hands on the table and he swallowed hard before he began again. "I know you change it, Noct, and that Luna gets to be alive and hopefully stay that way for a long, long time but I - I haven't lived that yet. For me she's still…" he shook his head a little. "She loved you and she's gone and I…" Prompto pulled his hand back and took looking down at Felix as an excuse to hide the tears that clouded his eyes. He scratched his hands behind Felix's ears, the motion almost immediately calming to at least some of the panic that had started to sink in. "I don't know, maybe it's dumb, maybe I'm just being dumb but I feel like… like I took something from her… like I took you from her…" It would have been funny in any other circumstance — the way Noctis' face began to look progressively more horrified, too shocked by everything Prompto was saying to even think of stopping the sudden tirade. Was this how he really felt? All this time they'd been together, which admittedly wasn't very long, Prompto had worried about him and Luna? Like that? And then he was crying, and Noctis felt overwhelmed in the extreme. "Holy shit," was all he could manage for a second, somewhere between nauseous and terrified. He might lose Prompto. He might lose Prompto. It was the train all over again, Ardyn tricking them and his best friend, the light of his life, gone in seconds because he hadn't seen through the deception. Noctis was going to throw up. It was panic, he realized distantly. That horrible out-of-body feeling that swept over him like jumping into a freezing lake. He struggled to remain present, clenching his hands under the table. "Prompto," he started, as calm as he could possibly force himself to sound. "I was eight when I met her. We were kids. It's not ... I mean, I'm not ..." There was so much at stake in this conversation. So much he had to get right, and of course the subject matter was the one thing Noctis could never put into words. He huffed out a shaky breath, trembling a little. "You're not taking me away from anyone. Remember what I said once? About the ... not thinking about any of this ... uh. Before? I meant it." Noctis finally dropped his gaze, because it was infinitely easier saying this to his hands. "When you started talking about liking people at school, I knew something was wrong with me. So I wrote to Luna." A breath. "She's known for a while. That I don't feel like that about anyone. You're the only person I've ever wanted to be with, and I'm ... I'm so afraid of losing you, like, I literally can't stand the idea of not having this, of not being us, it's —" That was, apparently, all Noctis could manage before his throat closed up. He'd just have to sit in silence now and wait for the panic to pass. Prompto kept his own hands busy with Felix as Noct talked. The dog's fur was a blurry mess as he struggled to focus through his own tears. And even though he wasn't looking at Noctis, he was listening. Very carefully. His hand stilled on Felix as the words sunk in. As he realized what he kind of knew. He was being illogical and dumb. Even if he still knew it might be a while before that guilt really and truly left him. There was a pause as Noctis finished before Prompto stood, the scrape of his chair on the floor almost jarring in the silence. He closed the few steps between him and Noctis and straddled his lap. He laced his hands behind Noct's neck and let his forehead fall forward against his. "Terrifying?" He supplied to Noctis' aborted train of thought. "Daunting, awful…" he continued. "It scares the shit out of me too, Noct." He paused and pressed his lips together for a moment before letting out a shaky breath. "You're everything to me, Noct. My boyfriend, which doesn't even seem like a strong enough of of a word somehow… my best friend… my king -" which for all they tended to just blow off the formalities of who they were it was still there. And Prompto knew there was nothing wrong with that. If anything it just meant that he could officially swear what he would have done no anyways - follow Noct to the end of the world and back again. "Noct… I am so stupidly in love with you but I never would have had the guts to even talk to you if it hadn't been for Luna pushing me to do it," he shrugged a bit sheepishly at that. "She did so much for me and I just… always want to respect the relationship you guys did have, if that makes sense?" Because there had been a relationship there. Maybe not by some standard definition or along the lines of what he and Noctis had, but it had been important. Noctis was, as per usual, too caught up in his own head to notice that Prompto was moving until the man was in his lap. He wrapped his arms around him immediately, though, and proceeded to tug Prompto forward until he literally couldn't be any closer. Only then did Noctis release his own shaky exhale, holding on tight — probably too tight — as his boyfriend talked. Gods, it was such a relief. So much so that he did little more than grunt in protest when Prompto brought up the king stuff. He was way too exhausted to fight that one right now. There were more important things, like how Noctis was beginning to understand what had brought this on and how he could maybe fix it. He's not leaving. You're still together. It's alright. "'Course it makes sense," he replied, voice a low rumble now. Noctis leaned his head back against the chair so he could gaze at Prompto through half-lidded eyes. Now that the panic had subsided, he felt warm and safe. Sad, though. That feeling lingered. "I'm sorry. It must've seemed like I was trying to make you like her." Just the thought of that made Noctis frown deeply. "I love you both, but it's different. She's — the closest thing I've ever had to a sister, you know? And you're ... like. Why I'm breathing. I want to be alive so I can get super old with you." He smirked right after, a glint in his eyes. "You have that thing for the dad look." He didn't mind the the tightness of the hold, never would really. He was just as much guilty of it himself sometimes; holding too tight, too long maybe… like if he dared to let go that would be that and Noct would be gone again. He carded his fingers through Noct's hair as he leaned back a little, holding his gaze as he talked. It helped. It really did, to hear. A small little smile as Noct mentioned wanting to get super old together. One that turned into a grin as Noct continued and Prompto couldn't help but laugh a little. "Gods, I mention your Dad was hot one time," he protested with a joking tone before he leaned in to kiss Noctis. A bit of a grin still on his lips as he pulled back. "I want to get super old with you too," he said softly. "No one else I'd rather do it with." It wasn't completely gone, the panic. But it never really was. Most days, Noctis felt a low level of anxiety — to the point where not feeling some kind of stress meant he was dissociating, which was worse. So Prompto starting to relax in his arms helped more than words of reassurance might have, and the laugh was even better. Noctis accepted the kiss with a smirk he didn't bother hiding. It didn't last as long as he might've wanted, but Prompto was a warm and solid presence pressing him down, and Noctis was just too content to try lifting his head for another. "Never letting you live that one down," he murmured, amused and secretly a bit concerned he'd never actually live up to his father's apparent good looks. Maybe if he brushed his hair down once in a while? Tried growing a beard? Prompto's confession momentarily drove those thoughts from his head, and he blinked, surprised. "Really? I kind of thought you'd ... I don't know. Open a garage or something. Keep working in Hammerhead." A pause. "— which is fine, if that's what you want," Noctis rushed to add, because the very last thing he wanted was to tie Prompto to anything against his will. Not that he could, but Noctis had grown up hearing stories about his father's closest friends. His own crew of guys, almost all of whom had left him. Cid left. Weskham left. Cor did his own thing. Even though he fantasized about proposing to Prompto more than was probably healthy, he braced himself for that same moment Regis had faced once: saying goodbye to the people he cared about. Prompto probably didn't help the mild level of panic Noctis carried by not immediately responding to the suggestion. Instead his gaze fell down for a moment, watching as he brushed his thumb across Noctis' lower lip. But he wanted to say this right, he didn't want to rush it and have it come out wrong. He looks up and laces his hands back behind Noctis' neck. "Noct… I've been without you… And it fucking sucks, dude." He shrugged a little, "I don't know it's like… like missing a limb or something," which okay sounded a little dramatic but that didn't make it less true. "And yeah, maybe it'd be fun or whatever, turning into the next Cid just less… cranky -" he paused. "But it wouldn't… it wouldn't be the life I'd want if you weren't in it." He smiled softly. "Besides, I promised you I'd help make the world a better place and I can't really do that if I leave you to your own devices." Noctis held his breath. He was getting two different messages here — the silence told him Prompto was choosing his words carefully, which could mean he wanted to break the bad news to him gently. But the finger against his lip threw him. Was he trying to keep Noctis distracted? Did he simply not realize what he was doing? His gaze refocused again the moment Prompto started speaking, and he watched him carefully, guarded. Noctis was only cautiously hopeful. He couldn't allow himself to be anything else. "Okay, but ..." He forced air into his lungs, feeling a little dizzy. "I could — get a place out in Leide and visit all the time. Like another base, you know? What I mean is, you have options. I don't want you to feel ... trapped." Like me. Prompto almost immediately shook his head at the idea. "And what? We just like see each other on the weekends or something? No way…" and maybe the words were a bit rushed with the panic the mere idea of that brought up. Because Prompto knew that's what it would be. At best. And the idea of not having Noctis there was… daunting. Even though Prompto knew Noct would of course be busy and have more things to do than most people at least they could still fall asleep together and wake up together. "You're not - trapping me, Noct," he said as he held Noctis' gaze. "I love you and I wanna be with you… wherever and whatever that entails. And I'm not… like some random person you just met, okay. I know what I'm getting into and I'm in. Okay? I'm totally in, Noct." He grinned a little and pressed a quick kiss to Noctis' lips. "Besides, all of this -" with a little gesturing motion between them "aside, preeeeetty sure that whole Crownsguard oath thing I did doesn't involve early retirement and I'm still too terrified of Cor to find out." Noctis knew he was on the verge of crying. Distantly, he was aware of the tears pricking his eyes, too hot and wet and annoying, but he couldn't stop despite his best efforts. Of course Prompto knew what this meant. He'd seen him push his way through high school. He'd been there for the endless study sessions. The jam-packed schedules. The impromptu naps. He'd even met his father, and that, more than anything, indicated where Noctis' path would inevitably lead. Prompto didn't flinch. He never did, and Noctis realized — finally — that all this time, he'd been trying to protect his boyfriend from something he'd already faced and accepted. Something he knew about better than anyone, because he had the unique perspective of a normal life to compare it to. "I'm an idiot," Noctis announced, and his smile was warmer than before, relief and fondness sweeping through him. He blinked back the tears and chased another kiss from Prompto this time, curling an arm more securely around his back. "You're so amazing. I can't — I don't want to do this thing without you." He rested their foreheads together for a long moment, just breathing him in. Like missing a limb. Yeah. That's how it felt. His smile turned a little sad, though, when Prompto mentioned Cor. "You know he's a big softie under all that, right?" He leaned back again with a huff. "It's not a blood oath. Cid and Wes left and they're doing alright." Maybe that was why he, Gladio, and Ignis had all gone through the blood oath the moment they came of age. Noctis looked away for a moment, finding Felix happily curled on the kitchen mat nearby. Probably sleepy after all the snacks. "Well you're not going to have to do it without me," he repeated with a soft smile. There was a sort of vague knowing that maybe it wasn't exactly healthy, how much he needed Noct. Something that seemed to go beyond even their friendship or relationship. The anxiousness that flared at any little idea of them being separated again. Or the memory of those god awful first few days here in Tumbleweed before Noctis showed up when he hadn't even been able to access the armiger, to feel that connection. "And I'm not Cid, or Wes, and you're not your Dad," he pointed out. Prompto had no idea what had happened between all of them years ago, but he knew at least enough that it was something that wasn't going to happen to him and Noct. For so many reasons. "Trust me when I say I'm not going anywhere." He followed Noct's gaze to the dog and grinned. "Fuck he's cute," he said with a soft laugh. Noctis was quiet for a long moment, debating. Should he tell Prompto exactly what he felt? How he worried, despite all evidence to the contrary, that his friends would leave him? It would sound stupid if he did. Paranoid. But he still felt that way, had always felt like he was on the brink of losing everything, all of them, and nothing he did would ever stop it from happening. "It's hard," Noctis said, his gaze still firmly trained to their little dog making himself comfortable, blissfully unaware of the loaded conversation happening. "I know you mean it, but ..." No, this definitely sounded crazy. The more he talked, the more he hated how this was coming out. "Sorry. Forget that, it's not a big deal." He pushed the thoughts away and turned his head to gaze at Prompto again, forcing a tight smile. This would be fine. He'd have years and years of waking up next to his boyfriend, reaffirming every day the thing that he was so convinced would never happen for him. "Maybe we can make Felix a bed out of some sweatshirts tonight?" Noctis offered instead, figuring he might as well be productive now. It felt a little weird, almost like a role reversal somehow. Prompto had always been so sure that it would be Noct who would eventually get sick of him, Noct who would end up having to bow out because of some reason bigger than them. Or just plain… get tired of the shattered and broken mess of a person he really was underneath everything. But suddenly it was Noct on the other end of that and Prompto's heart ached for his boyfriend. Because he knew how much that feeling sucked. So no, it was a big deal. And he wasn't just going to forget it. Prompto shifted a little in Noct's lap and reached his hands forward to cup Noctis' face. His gaze was steady as he spoke, intense with the conviction of his words. "Noct, I mean it. More than mean it." He paused for a moment, lips pressed together. "Always, okay? Doesn't matter how many alternate dimensions we wind up in, or the time travel or whatever the hell else ends up happening I'm always going to be with you - I'm not leaving." His hands slid back behind Noct's neck as he leaned forward and brushed his lips over Noctis'. Any response Noctis had — and he did have responses, many of them irrational and anxious — were cut off the moment Prompto kissed him. It was a good thing, forcing him to think and consider what he was saying and how absurd it really was. Prompto had followed him to the ends of the earth and back again. How could he leave now? Why would he leave after all of that? Even if his boyfriend didn't remember the time travel, or the full ten years apart, that didn't mean he was any less committed. Noctis made a noise in his throat that was just a little more desperate than he would've liked and began to kiss a Prompto properly. Really kiss him. Because he knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was going to make this official soon. They would stay together, and he wanted that in every sense of the word: physically and emotionally and legally. |