InsaneJournal

The Beach::

Despite the obvious discomfort that came with sitting inside a small metal box for hours on end, the rumble and sway of the bus actually was soothing. Just the right amount of forward movement and curves with the occasional bump. Nothing that would even come close to setting off pre-Lion Hunk’s sensitive stomach. Keith wasn’t all that surprised that Lance had nodded off. Especially since it’d been a while ago when the landscape rushing by had been the same old, same old dry hills that’d been the default over the past few weeks.

And really, the other boy didn’t have any reason to think that’d change any time soon. Keith had bought the tickets and kept a hold of them, which wasn’t too strange considering how the trip had gone so far. There was no way of knowing that their goal had changed from hiking over rocks to try and find some hint of a feeling like Keith had felt in their world after he was booted from the Garrison.

When the coast line came into view, he’d been tempted to wake Lance up. But, well, he was enjoying the quiet. Just getting to sit and be and sketch as they hurtled along the road. Plus, honestly, he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure that Lance wouldn’t crash through the window or demand to stop right now once he caught sight of the ocean considering how the other Paladin had gone on and on and on about it. Especially since… when he had changed his mind about where he wanted to go, there had been plenty of closer beaches. Just go straight west across California and there they were. But he’d googled them and, ok, Lance would probably just be happy for any beach, but they didn’t look like the ones he knew Lance was missing. True, no beach would be exactly like the one he was missing, but from his searches, this beach looked like a much better match. Hopefully Lance agreed.

For now, he’d let Lance sleep. He could likely do with as much nap time as he could get. Especially if they ended up with tight quarters again. He could occupy himself well enough with the moleskin, especially considering it’d been too long. At the Castle there’d always been something, battle or training or something. Plus he hadn’t felt like looking for supplies. Now that left him having to loosen up muscles he hadn’t used in awhile, pencil scratching out glimpses of landscape, people, and then things from memory.

He hadn’t realized he had an audience until a “That’s pretty good” piped up a bit closer to his personal space than he expected. Starting, his head whipped up to stare at the girl leaning against her arm rest across the aisle from him. An apologetic looking girl which was only confirmed by a mumbled “Sorry”.

“Um… no, it’s ok… Uh, thanks?” He’d never been good at small talk and he wasn’t sure if months of being in space as a Paladin of Voltron had really helped with that. Especially as she was now asking him about things he wasn’t sure how to answer. Something about comics. Did he have a website. What about school. He tried to answer even if all he really wanted to do was brush the questions off, but… the bus was pretty full and he didn’t want to be rude when she seemed like she was just being nice.

So he was relieved when the bus slowed at their stop. With a bunch of other people rustling around and getting up, he cleared his throat. “This is my… uh… our stop. So- hey!”

He frowned as the moleskin and pencil were snatched out of his hands. A protest was building, but came to nothing as just as quickly as the moleskin had been taken away, it was put back into his hands.

“Mine too. See you around.”

Maybe the bus wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but a backpack wedged into the window and some extraordinary flexible meant being able to make the best of it. Lance had conked out a while back, forgoing his usual bedtime habits in favor of roughing it without an eye mask or headphones. Which also spoke to just how out of it he was. Days on end of keeping up with Keith really took it out of a person. Even the pothole two hours ago hadn’t been enough to shake Lance awake.

It also meant that, in a state of half slumber, Lance had left tickets to Keith entirely. It was half lack of caring where Keith wanted to go next, but also half trust that Keith had a plan of some kind. They had been through enough together at this point, right? Squabbles aside, the arrangement was working out. Or so Lance thought. It was even… fun? En…...joyable? And it was even a comfort to know Keith wasn’t tearing a solo path through the wilds of the desert, brooding into the night and forgetting that he was part of a team. A team that valued him.

But the sound of voices right beside Lance finally stirred him from rest. He opened one eye first, then the second with some concern. Keith was talking to someone? Then his eyes fell to the sketchbook being handed back. What? What?

Keith still wasn’t sure what had just happened. So he stared after the girl as she exited the bus before he shook his head. Ok… He reached on hand down to hook the strap of his bag as he started to turn towards the window. “Hey, Lan-” he began, hoping to give the other boy some warning before nudging him awake. Except the boy wasn’t asleep any more…

He couldn’t help the jump of surprise when he was met with an open eyed stare instead of Lance still curled up against the window. A stare that seemed like more than just bleary-eyed waking up. His eyebrows raised. “What?”

“I fall asleep for a bit, and suddenly you’re social?” Lance peered over the top of the seats, catching the last glimpse of the young woman who’d been talking to Keith. She was…

She was cute.

Lance looked back to Keith, eyes narrowing less with residual sleepiness, and more with suspicion that what just happened didn’t even connect for the other paladin.

“Dude. She was hitting on you,” Lance told the other boy. He flapped an arm at the space where the woman had been standing. “That was totally a chance you missed.”

Keith scowled, the expression only deepening as Lance kept going on and on. Shaking his head, he opened his bag in order to stuff the moleskin and pencil back inside. “She wasn’t hitting on me,” he muttered. “And I was just being nice. So cool it.”

“Oh yeah?” Lance was quicker with his reflexes, snatching the notebook and flipping it open to the last page. His face was alit with a triumphant smile as he found exactly what he figured on. He flipped the book around and showed Keith.

“Phone number. Name,” he announced. He lowered the book enough to see Keith’s reaction. Clearly the other boy had a lot to learn about the world…

“Hey!” What was it? Steal Keith’s stuff day? His scowl was going strong still as he stared at the scrawled number on the corner of the page above a sketch that’d started as an attempt of making sense of a tangle of elbows and knees and ended in aggravated notes and random side doodles of lions. Dropping the pencil in his bag, he zipped it up and swung it over his shoulder. Standing up, his focus went up to Lance.

“And? We’re not going to be here long anyways,” he pointed out. “Even less time if we don’t get off the bus.”

“But…” Lance tapped the page again. It was hopeless, though, with Keith being as mission-minded as he was. Lance shrugged it off, flipping the book around and looking one more time at the page. He hadn’t noticed the sketch before, but now that he was less trained on phone numbers… was that him? Keith had been sketching him?

The thoughts were shoved to the side as Lance realized Keith was giving a hint that this was actually their stop. He wrangled his long limbs together and shoved himself out of his seat. Keith’s notebook was shoved under an arm for now, along with a half-formed question about what possessed Keith to go on and draw him.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go. Let’s… go wherever it is we’re going.”

Keith rolled his eyes, but still relaxed a little at the fact that Lance was at least moving. Really, this was just one of those differences between them that he wasn’t sure if he’d ever understand. If he saw a crowd of strangers, his first instinct was to just hold back. Watch from the sidelines. Maybe walk through, but not like how Lance dove right in. Especially if there were ladies in that crowd. He just didn’t think the whole flirting thing was as important as the other Paladin made it out to be.

“You’ll see,” he called back as he lead the way off the bus. Really now it was just a countdown of what Lance would notice first and… maybe he enjoyed that a bit too much. Seeing Lance figure something out. Even if it might take some yelling and flailing before they got there. He could have let the previous conversation slide, but… He shot a glance over his shoulder. “And if it gets too boring for you, there’s always that phone number.”

Lance managed to work his way up the bus center aisle without any incident, although he couldn’t help but think Keith was up to something. And that was exactly what stopped him from volleying back a retort in favor. Well, that and how some of the outside air was gently blowing into the bus’s open door -- it was a warm, salty sort of air. It was familiar.

Lance’s feet carried him down the steps on autopilot, but his eyes were locked on a set of palm trees just in front of them. Just a few steps away was a circle of teenagers all speaking fluent Spanish.

“What…”

It was hard to make out much of anything with unadjusted eyes, so Lance lifted Keith’s moleskin notebook to shade his view. As the bus pulled off, it was easier to make out the landscape. Off in the distance was a clear view of the horizon where ocean met sky.

“Is that… is that the ocean?”

Keith had given Lance a bit of room at first. Give him some freedom of which way to go and just to read the other Paladin’s reactions. But now that he seemed to be stuck gaping for a bit, he came up beside Lance. A small smile tilted his lips in a mix of satisfaction and fond as he rested a hand on his hip.

“Or a really, really, really big lake,” he deadpanned. “Might have to go check it out to make sure.”

It had been days turned to weeks turned to months of just thinking about this. This. A sunny sky, that slight tang in the air, and soon enough the feel of warm sand beneath his bare feet. It was that emotion that you couldn’t bottle up or really describe to anyone because it was just so personal. It was a scent that recalled childhood and a wealth of summer days with family, before school started up again. No, it wasn’t home, but it was close enough.

Lance darted a quick hand to his eyes, which had somehow gotten watery. There were days when he wasn’t sure he’d ever get to see the ocean again, let alone set foot back on Earth.

Whatever Keith was expecting, it may not have been what followed. A quick lasso of arms around Keith’s shoulders. There wasn’t a funny comeback or any hint of smugness. Just gratitude for filling in a missing piece that Lance hadn’t thought could be replaced.

Keith definitely hadn’t been expecting this. There were a number of possibilities really. High on the list were the more boisterous ones. Some sort of triumphant something. Maybe some yelling about what took so long. But something with, well, noise. Even in the scenario where emotions popped up, he’d just assumed there’d be some verbal brush off of it all. There still being sleep gunk in his eyes or the sun being too bright. Something. Not… not this…

If he had zero skills with small talk, he had even less with this sort of thing. Hugs were rare. The majority of the ones he’d experienced were thanks to Shiro. But that was Shiro. He didn’t really expect this sort of thing from Lance of all people. It took a moment for him to react and to finally very carefully and lightly wrap his arms around the other boy. Very, very carefully in case whatever had possessed Lance to do this suddenly 180-ed and he realized how bad an idea it was and that he needed to stop doing it now. Except he didn’t. And the fact that Lance didn’t just made Keith start to worry that he’d completely misread all of this and messed things up completely.

“Lance…” he said very softly and very warily, not sure if breaking the silence was a good thing or not. “Are… are you ok?”

Keith’s voice pulled Lance back a little. He loosened his hold, straightening up and taking in a deep breath. Another fast swipe of a hand across his eyes probably didn’t convince anyone that they weren’t tearing up, but even he knew it was a lost cause at this point. He cleared his throat, averting his eyes a bit while he tried to put himself back together.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m…” There was a one-handed gesture towards the shoreline. “I just really missed the ocean, you know?” Lance let out another breath, this time blinking his eyes skyward.

“Woo. Okay. I’m good. I’m good. So, uh… the day’s wasting, huh? We should…” This was just crazy. He wasn’t ever this off his footing. “Walk? We should start walking.”

The pull back only helped a tiny bit in lessening Keith’s worry. He didn’t like seeing Lance like this, but he could understand the feeling a bit better now that it wasn’t being hidden in his shoulder. Ok, maybe not this type or intensity of homesickness (because that’s what it was, wasn’t it, more than just the ocean), but he got trying to reel it all in. His eyebrows flicked down a moment. Build those walls back up…

His hand moved to rest on Lance’s shoulder, a light but reassuring weight. He looked out towards the ocean, giving the other boy whatever privacy he could get when they were still close and in the middle of an open street. He wished he was a little bit taller, if just to provide more of a barrier to protect Lance, but he did what he could with body language.

“I know,” he said. And what else would he want in this sort of situation? Something else to focus on, right? Something to ease the mood? Something that was more status quo? “You’ve just mentioned it every hour since we got here.” Even though he kept his focus on the shore, he tilted his head slightly towards Lance as he raised an eyebrow. “Beach can’t be that far. Bet I could beat you there. Easy.”

The touch at Lance’s shoulder made him look down, only to find Keith’s gloved hand resting there. It was this night and day kind of relationship they had, Lance figured. The other week, Keith was trying to run, outright frustrated with the thought of company. Now there was this. Away from prying eyes, Keith had moments where he was just... a good guy. A thoughtful friend?

For all the beach talk that Lance knew he was guilty of, he’d never pressed it as an ultimatum for the trip or a condition of his companionship. Actually, the moment he’d decided to go with Keith, he’d abandoned the thought of getting there anytime soon. It wasn’t as important. Keith needed someone to go with him, and it wasn’t about reaching a place anymore. Maybe that was why this seemed so singularly overwhelming. This was all Keith’s planning.

Lance half-turned to find Keith just behind him. He found something closer to his usual easy grin, and shoved it onto his face. “Race you? You and those crazy Galra speed genes?”

Glancing over, Keith returned the smile. Maybe Lance was still shaken up, but he was starting to at least look more like his usual self. And he was taking the distraction. That was a good sign, right? He rolled his eyes good naturedly. “Really? Bringing that up now? What? Don’t think you’re up for the challenge?”

“I think…” Lance pivoted on the spot, full-on facing Keith. He pressed the moleskin notebook into the boy’s chest, not really sure why he was holding it anymore, and then took a generous step backward. “I hear some waves calling my name, and there’s no way I’m keeping them waiting.”

He flashed Keith a wide grin after that -- one that semi-betrayed his slightly reddened eyes -- and spun a full 180 to bolt for the beach.

______________

Home::

The bus came to a slow stop, and after a final puff of the air brakes, the doors were swung open. It was hard to really describe the last two weeks. There were hundreds of miles, several states, a bunch of hotels, ups, downs, and, yet... somehow, at the end of everything, they’d made it back. It was almost bittersweet. Or maybe it was just that Lance couldn’t put a name to what was going through his mind or heart at that moment when everyone on the bus started to gather themselves up to leave.

Tumbleweed didn’t even look all that familiar, Lance thought to himself, as they finally touched down onto Texan ground. The truth was that they hadn’t even been here long before hitting the road. He was sure they would both need the GPS to find a way back to their house, for that matter. It just wasn’t home in the way that the Castle had become, but at least there were friends and family who were waiting here. That much bolstered Lance’s spirits. Pidge and Allura, even Matt, were all here now. Shiro was here. Even Alice, who’d quickly become a favorite within their new circle of friends.

So what gave with this weird weighted feeling that was dragging at his heels? Lance sighed, hefting his backpack onto his shoulders. It had gotten heavier as time wore on, filled with odds and ends he and Keith had accrued during their travels. Maybe it was just that. Or maybe it was the crash after an adrenaline high. Maybe.

Even though the beach didn’t hold as much meaning to him as it did Lance, Keith had to admit he was a bit sad to leave it behind. To leave the entire journey behind. Which was nothing against Tumbleweed. The town had its draws, more and more gathering every day it felt like. More of the team. Pidge and Allura. Matt who’d been found. And Shiro. Even if he still felt a rare small bubble of anxiety when he thought about the talk he owed the older man, he knew he was in a much better place to deal with it than before. More… centered? He wasn’t sure exactly, but whatever it was, he at least didn’t feel like he might snap over something stupid. For now.

Even so, the town was… static… Things might’ve gotten tense on the trip, but there was always the next destination to focus on. The search, however pointless it was. Where to go next. And now… well, there was Thanksgiving. That was the next thing, right? Make sure there was enough food to eat and that they managed to not poison themselves without Hunk around. Still, it wasn’t quite the same as that constant forward motion.

Maybe that’s why he paused as he settled the heavy backpack (why Lance had gotten so much stuff he still couldn’t understand, but then this was part of the duo who acquired a cow from a mall) on his shoulders. He glanced over at Lance. “So… the apartment or…” He wasn’t sure where there was to go in town and maybe it was just side-stepping the inevitable, but maybe finding someplace to explore there was an option.

Lance gave Keith a side glance. He could understand avoiding the apartment for a bit longer, but then what? They would have to go back eventually.

“I, uh… I think we’re down to ten dollars and a backpack full of seashells. I don’t know if that’s gonna get us far,” Lance answered, not to be contrary, but just to point out that the best they could probably do is loiter around town aimlessly. “Also, I feel like I smell like bus. Is that even a scent? I need to wash the bus off me. And… we kinda need to go catch up with the others...”

“Pancakes?” Keith offered up, even if he knew it was a lost cause. “Maybe it could get us pancakes.” Lance had a point though. Even if continuing some forward motion was temping, funds were low and he doubted Lance would want to ‘rough’ it anyways. Plus they were here. And there were friends to catch up with. Shifting his bag, he shot a semi-glare at Lance. “I still don’t get what you need all these shells for. And… I don’t know? Feet and stale air? Is that a thing?”

“We don’t even know if the house has any edible food, and you want to spend it on pancakes?” Lance asked, feeling that he sure had never made such a point before in his life, and odds were slim that he would ever have to make it again. He pulled a faint grimace, then drew his phone out of his pocket to check which direction they needed to start off towards.

“The shells are for ambiance. And they’re pretty,” he countered, waving Keith’s interjection off as if it were obvious why it was necessary to collect a couple dozen when a few would have sufficed.

As directions home lit up on the screen in his hands, Lance gave a nod for Keith to follow, stepping off his mark before waiting for another stalling attempt. “Might be a thing. I kept getting coffee breath funk from that guy behind us. I feel like it’s still following me.”

Despite the wave off, Keith sighed heavily. “They’re shells,” he countered as he followed Lance, as if that obviously explained how ridiculous the pretty ambiance thing was. Not that he was big on decorating at all, but he could swear that every now and then, the pointiest shell in the bunch felt the need to make itself known against the small of his back.

He wrinkled his nose. “Not just you. He had it worse than all the people combined during those 5 AM classes,” he grumbled.

“See? There you go,” Lance replied, waiting a second for Keith to catch up without even realizing he was doing it. They’d spent most of the last two weeks side-by-side. It just felt weird to be turning to talk to Keith at this point. “We’ll go back to the apartment, shower all the road funk off, and then I’m going to put out some shells for ambiance. And then we probably need to figure out how to not starve until Thursday. If you have ideas about that, I’m all ears.”

“I call first shower,” Keith said as he held up a hand to try and stop any protest. “Or you’ll have hard time finding all those shells when you finally get out.” Because, really, who knew how long Lance was planning to take to properly ‘get the funk off’. ‘Shower’ could very well turn into a bath with smelly soaps and who knew what else.

Stuffing his hands in the pockets, his head tilted back as he thought. “Is there a dollar store around? We could get ten cans of something for ten bucks. That’ll last us until Thursday.”

Lance was about to protest, sure that no meal fit for eating could come out of a can, but then realizing that they weren’t really in a place to make demands on the world. He shrugged his shoulders, then gave a nod. “Almost makes you miss space goo, doesn’t it? Reliable ol’ space goo. Wherever it came from.”

And, sure, Keith could take the shower first. After everything in the last two weeks, it seemed stupid to start arguing over something so insignificant. Which is was it was, right? It was one tiny thing against having lived with Keith -- with Keith and out of a backpack for days on end. Lance’s expression softened at the thought. It wasn’t terrible.

“Hey, so…” Lance wasn’t sure what he was aiming to say. He closed his mouth and worked around a few words. This was fun? Glad that we didn’t kill each other? Go team?

Keith shrugged right on back. “Almost? Cans at least have some variety.” But then that’d been his life for awhile. Just making do on what he could get, bonus points if refrigerator or oven wasn’t necessary to make it. His head tilted. “Do you think Allura’s place came with the food goo machines?” he mused aloud.

Which really didn’t need an answer. Especially since… Ok, the tone changed. That was definitely a tone change and… hesitation? As much as everyone and, well, especially the other Paladin gave him grief for being hot headed and running off and every other impulsive thing he did, Lance really wasn’t one to mince words 99% of the time. Too often it felt like whatever thought popped into his head came right out of his mouth, for better or worse. So to have him hedging around something… Looking over, his brow furrowed slightly in worry. “So…?”

Despite that Keith had asked a question, Lance’s attention was completely vacated. It was trying to find a way to say something without it sounding stupid. Weird? Like he was trying to make this more than it was. Of course, thinking this much meant it would come out like that anyway, wouldn’t it? Lance’s brow furrowed.

“Huh?” Keith was looking at him, and that snapped Lance out of his tumble down a slope of tractionless thoughts. “Oh, uh. You know, I was just thinking how this proves we can figure out this whole... “ Lance waved a hand in front of himself. “Stuck together thing. It wasn’t a bad trip. You didn’t try to ditch me. That’s real progress.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “And months in a castle in the middle of space didn’t?” Probably not the best example considering the future knowledge they’d gotten in regards to just how talented he could be with his ‘ditching’ skills, but the statement threw him off-balance a little. He hadn’t really been expecting it, even if it still felt like the words were still circling around some bigger thought. Saying something but not quite saying it. Whatever it was.

So he paused a moment. Considered what Lance said before he nodded slowly and looked down at the sidewalk. “Yeah, it wasn’t bad. Guess you aren’t so bad to have around. No matter how stubborn you are.”

Lance pocketed his phone into one of the front pouches of his jacket. He hooked the straps of his backpack with his fingers and unconsciously mimicked Keith’s downward vigil. That hadn’t come out right. He resisted the urge to groan at his sneakers. Why was it’s always so weird with Keith?

“Yeah, well, you’d probably drift way out there and miss Thanksgiving on us if I didn’t tag along, so… you’re welcome,” Lance returned, trying to capture a little of his usual sarcasm that tended to make itself known around the other boy. He paused, feeling a twinge of regret over it. “And if you plan on leaving again, next time give me a heads-up. I would’ve packed better.”

Keith couldn’t really argue with that. No matter how much he had meant it when he told Lance he’d only be away a week or two, after their time away, he was also very aware that time could’ve slipped away too easily. Without Lance around, he might not have checked the network at all. Thanksgiving could have come and gone without him even realizing it. Weeks could have turned into months, especially as he might have gone farther out in his hikes. More off the grid. Kept stubbornly searching and completely missing whatever had happened in Tumbleweed.

Part of him didn’t want to gave Lance the win on that considering his tone. Not because he cared if Lance won but more he didn’t want to deal with the possible gloating and bloated ego thanks to Lance climbing up that rivalry ladder. Still…

“Thanks,” he finally conceded. “For making sure I got back. And don’t worry, I don’t think I’m going anywhere any time soon.”