who kara danvers and clark!cisco what pep talk/family support where kara and alex's place when back when the costumes were being wonky warnings season 2 of supergirl spoilers. also, sad kara.
The fact that her cousin was here amazed Kara, even if it was a little Halloween trick. She had a hunch it wouldn’t last, but pretending it could for a little while didn’t hurt, right? Now that he was here, however, it was bringing up more memories of National City that she had been desperately trying to avoid. Not a word had been breathed on her part about what happened.
Kara buried sadness along with her Supergirl uniform, attempting not to attach herself to that life. While she was here, she could pretend that it had been a bad dream. She put on a happy face and carried on as though nothing was weighing her down, but at night she dreamed about him, Mon-El. It wasn’t always him, often it included her friends and family, but those were people she still had in her life. He was gone.
Shirking the thought and putting on that winning smile, Kara opened a window and started calling Clark’s name.
Clark was mostly confused.
Everything he knew was gone. And he’d gone into a momentary panic when he’d realized Metropolis was nowhere to be found because he didn’t have experience in multiverse travel and had no idea how to get home. Or how he’d gotten here in the first place. It’d been a relief to find Kara and after some text exchanges, he’d hung an ear out for his cousin’s voice. Eyes squeezed shut, he smiled as he focused on her voice and flew as discreetly as he possibly could until he found himself in a roomy apartment.
“Kara!” he grinned brightly, quick to embrace her. “I’m so glad to see you.”
It was so good to see him again. She had missed Clark as much as she did J’onn, Jimmy, and Winn. Kara hadn’t dealt with having to part with Mon-El, especially not the way it went down. Having family around helped, even if she knew hiding the sadness from Clark would be infinitely harder.
Hugging him back happily, she laughed out loud. “Kal! This is amazing! And weird, but mostly just amazing!” Having him around, even if it was only temporary, would help keep her head on straight.
“Welcome to Tumbleweed,” she added as she pulled back from him. “It’s not too bad, right?”
“No it's not bad at all!” Clark said, his sunny disposition winning out over any sense of confusion. He had, after all, grown up in Smallville. While it was no Metropolis, Tumbleweed seemed a bit more active and larger by comparison.
“So what's going on here exactly?” Clark knew the barest details of what was going on and was aware that Kara was hiding something. He was curious to find out the details of this world.
Leave it to Clark to find the silver lining. Kara felt like she’d lost that part of herself in losing Mon-El, though she’d been desperately trying to cling to some remnant of it. Meeting so many strange, new faces meant she had to project who she had been. Cat wouldn’t approve of her clinging to the pain, Kara figured. Still, she could do nothing else.
“Oh, you know… The usual, trying to be a reporter, keeping a low profile for a brand new reason,” Kara chuckled. Life in Tumbleweed was certainly a brain teaser at times. “Nothing too exciting except for you being here! I promise I’ll find a way to get you back to Metropolis though. You should be with Lois.” With that, Kara’s lips became a tight line as she held back the raw mixture of envy and grief the statement carved out in her.
She only wanted for her friends and family to be with the people she loved.
Clark often seemed sunshine and pep, but behind that pleasant demeanor was a man who was clever and observant. He knew Kara well enough to see the subtle shift on her face and frowned. “I'm not worried. We’ll both get back home,” he said, attempting to be reassuring. He reached and laid a hand on Kara’s shoulder.
As much as Kara missed everyone, going back didn’t feel like an option. What was she going back to? Being a hero nonstop? She’d lost the person she loved. Thinking that way only made her feel worse. Of course if given the chance, Kara would return to her universe. Sadly looking down at the floor, Kara reached up to cover her cousin’s hand.
“Home doesn’t feel the same anymore,” she admitted.
“It doesn’t?” Clark asked evenly, watching Kara’s face. She seemed so deeply sad in a way he hadn’t seen before, or, possibly in a very long time. “Why’s that? What’s happened?” It felt a little overwhelming to not understand so much, but Clark was confident he could catch up and help somehow.
“I guess you don’t remember, or you’re from before…” Kara looked awfully uncomfortable. She hadn’t breathed a word of Mon-El, promising everyone on the surface she would persevere. What other choice did she have? Giving up wasn’t in the House of El’s vocabulary.
“Mon-El, my boyfriend, I--” Words got caught in her throat. “I had to send him away to protect Earth, you know? And it’s just… I don’t know. I haven’t been handling it as well as I thought--hoped--I could, Kal.”
“Hey,” Clark said, voice soft. Brow furrowing, he led Kara to the couch, which was thankfully just a few steps away. Once they were both sitting, he let his hand find hers and gave it a squeeze. “Is there some way to get him back?” he sounded cautious, nervous of somehow saying the wrong thing.
Her chest felt tight. As she sat down, Kara looked as though she was holding back a month’s worth of tears. Crying hadn’t been an option. She clutched her cousin’s hand tight and leaned against him, head on his shoulder. Maybe if she didn’t look directly at him, talking would come easier.
“We had to flood the atmosphere with lead, Daxamites it’s their kryptonite. I don’t know -- I don’t know how long it’ll be in the air much less how to reach him to tell him it’s safe. And if he comes back, they could, too…” And that wouldn’t be good for Earth.
Kara sucked in a sharp breath.
“It’s safer for the world if he never comes back.”
Clark frowned and listened to Kara, not wanting to interrupt or talk over her. It sounded like a terrible situation and he tried to put himself in her shoes for a moment. What would he do if he had to choose between the planet and Lois? He wanted to say he’d do the right thing, but he wasn’t entirely sure.
“It’s safer for the world and it’s harder for you,” Clark said, not making a move so that Kara could stay where she was. “Kara… I’m so sorry.” He fell silent for a long moment, because what could you really say to make it better? Clark certainly could cling to hope, but it wasn’t as though Kara probably hadn’t thought of every alternative. “I’m always so proud of you and everything you do to protect everyone,” he admitted. “Even if it comes at a cost.” He squeezed her hand.
Nothing made it better. Kara had been certain that she would fall into a despair spiral, focusing only on helping people as a matter of distraction. Only, she hadn’t stayed in National City, she had ended up in Tumbleweed, Texas, with only her sister around. Grateful to have the familiarity, now accompanied by Cisco’s presence, it had helped prevent her from falling to the pits of despair.
Most days.
“I wish I didn’t have to pay it,” she admitted after a prolonged pause. Her voice was wavering. “I’d just gotten it all, Kal, I just--” Cutting herself off, Kara sat upright and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes to avoid showing the tears that formed unbidden. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“I know.” Clark’s voice was soft and quiet. He watched Kara for a moment in silence. “It’s okay, you know, to just get it out.” He wasn’t sure she’d given herself permission to do so and so he decided to give it to her in case she needed it.
That he intrinsically understood her helped. Kara knew she wasn’t alone, but that was precisely how she’d felt the moment Mon-El left Earth. Without him, it felt like the whole planet had been lost to his people instead of saved. She knew it wasn’t a healthy way of looking at things, though could do nothing for the despair in her heart. For now.
Perhaps in time, and with a little help from her cousin’s visit (not to mention her friends), everything would begin to feel balanced again.