InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "54"

alina (starkov) oretsev (sankta) wrote in thedisplaced,
@ 2017-10-08 23:00:00

Entry tags:

!network post, alina starkov, mal oretsev

Mal

Is it weird that our pirate life was more what I had imagined we would be like than how our lives have actually turned out?

(Post a new comment)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-09 04:11 am UTC (link)
	I'm not sure weird is the word you're looking for. ~~Depressing, perhaps~~ But I could easily imagine that, too. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	sankta 2017-10-09 04:15 am UTC (link)
	Not that I'd want to be a pirate. But I miss there be nothing in between us. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-09 04:27 am UTC (link)
	Does there have to be anything in between us? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sankta 2017-10-25 03:06 am UTC (link)
	There doesn't have to be, but I don't know how to get rid of what is there now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-25 03:29 am UTC (link)
	Is this still about my safety? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sankta 2017-10-25 03:54 am UTC (link)
	It's not just that. It's all of the last few months. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-25 03:58 am UTC (link)
	Can you refresh my memory? I'm not sure what you're referring to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sankta 2017-10-25 04:01 am UTC (link)
	I mean at home. Just me with this power and everything that happened at the Little Palace and [...] after. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-25 04:04 am UTC (link)
	That changes the way you feel about [...] us? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sankta 2017-10-28 08:02 pm UTC (link)
	How could it not? It changes the way I feel about everything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-29 01:27 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry. I don't know how to help you with that; it hasn't changed anything for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sankta 2017-10-29 06:01 pm UTC (link)
	[...] Really? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-29 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	Really. What did you think had changed? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sankta 2017-10-29 08:25 pm UTC (link)
	Me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-30 01:21 am UTC (link)
	What's changed about you that you think would be a problem? I'm just asking so I know where your head is, Alina. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sankta
2017-10-30 01:56 am UTC (link)

I'm just not remotely the same person I was before I gained the power, and went to the Little Palace, and met the Darkling.

We can never know what our lives would have been like if we had just crossed the Fold and nothing had happened.

And part of me likes the changes, because I like being healthy and strong and knowing that I can protect you in the way you've always protected me. But I also just miss the simplicity of being two orphans, when it was just you and me. I liked being here, because for awhile, it felt like that again. And now I keep fucking it up.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-30 02:42 am UTC (link)
	I know who you are now. I've been with you almost the whole time, remember? And part of you still is the girl I grew up with, as well as the Sun Summoner and everything that comes with it. Maybe if you stop trying to separate the two, you'll find this easier. I'm not the exact same as the boy you grew up with, either, but I'm not trying to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sankta 2017-10-30 02:48 am UTC (link)
	Okay. I am trying, Mal. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	otkazatsya 2017-10-30 03:05 am UTC (link)
	I know you are. And there's room for you to make mistakes. I'm not going anywhere, Alina. Although I'd really appreciate not being pushed away again, if at all possible. (Reply to this) (Parent)