Eliot the Spectacular (highkingeliot) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2017-07-17 20:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, eliot waugh, kylo ren / ben solo |
WHO: Kylo Ren + Eliot Waugh
WHEN: After this
WHERE: The Cottage
SUMMARY: Kylo makes Eliot dinner and the two discuss the state of living arrangements in the wake of Han's departure.
WARNINGS: None.
Perhaps determining what you were going to cook for a friend who'd helped you through a challenging family thing should have been simple enough, but Ren had found himself willingly throwing himself into making certain he found a good recipe and something that Eliot would like. Or, at least, attempting it. And he told himself that the reason it was taking so long was because he had to check every single ingredient and every single recipe to be certain it was something in season, and something he could work with, and even as he'd finished with it all together, he wasn't certain he'd succeeded. Things would look similar and have a roughly similar texture and taste to what he was expecting, but then would cook differently, or they might look similar and cook as he expected but taste totally differently. He was learning, but it was still a process.
Generally though, as he prepped plates to take out onto the patio, he had to be fairly pleased with the end results. He'd gotten eggplant from the farmer's market and turned it into a cannelloni dish with some local beef that smelled amazing and, as best as he could tell would taste good as well. He'd gotten some of the baby arugula and some melons and combined that with a feta cheese for a salad, and while all of this was a little fancier than he might normally do, it had been oddly relaxing considering how much he really wanted Eliot to like what he'd come up with.
Maybe it was the part where he had an 'out' in the sense that he really hadn't worked with most of the foods before, or maybe it was just that Kylo genuinely enjoyed the process of cooking, even when he hadn't done the processes before, and there was something that he could appreciate about the fact that even here where he didn't know all of the ingredients necessarily, he could still put together an end process that tasted good.
So two plates were put on a tray, the salad, a bottle of wine, and a crispy fresh baked french loaf he'd picked up, and Kylo straightened his shirt, took a breath, tucked a hair back behind his ear, and headed out to the patio with the tray to find Eliot.
"I hope you're hungry," he said with a small smirk as he sat the tray down, looking up to catch Eliot's eyes, perhaps a little more hopefulness than he might be entirely comfortable with lingering in the gaze.
Eliot was reclining back in one of the mismatched deck chairs with a leg propped on top of a knee. In his hand was one of his usual cigarettes, but it looked as though it hadn't been given the usual attention, and as if he was holding it more out of habit than anything else. With his gaze off in the distance, past the edge of the Cottage's property line, he had made a slight observance of how different the scenery surrounding the Cottage felt in comparison to it's original location. The lush green of upstate New York was absent and instead was the flat and ruthless feel of the Texan landscape. He also did a mental calculation of how it would have felt in this very moment if he was in the pocket of magic that surrounded Brakebills. It would feel more like April than July due to the time shifts. But the minor observance wasn't where his mind was actually lingering.
When Kylo had first come to stay at the Cottage, it had been to grant privacy to his parents in the wake of their wedding. Eliot certainly knew that he wouldn't have wanted to be in the same home as his parents at all but certainly not when they were in their prime and enjoying the post wedding bliss. But it was spoken, in the beginning, as though it was to be temporary. And yet Kylo hadn't gone back to his parents before Han's disappearance. With that event having occurred in such recent memory, Eliot now wondered if perhaps the man was going to eventually chose to still return, perhaps to ensure Leia was not alone. Even with the strain in that relationship, of parents and son, Eliot believed that Kylo cared for them both.
Eliot would understand if that ended up being the route that Kylo took. But just because he understand, and would act supportful of his friend, didn't mean it was what he wanted. No, Eliot was quick to attachment. He'd told Quentin this early on in that friendship. And Eliot liked to have those he cared about held in close proximity.
And now he couldn't really help but have a sense of forlorn over the possibility of Kylo going back to living with Leia; or anyone else for that matter. Which Eliot knew was beyond silly. It wasn't as though he wouldn't see him anymore after all. But the sense was there and it was something that had his attention as he sat out on the deck in the Texas heat.
But his quiet musings didn't hold such a strong hold over him that he wasn't observant of his surroundings. Hearing the door move to open, he turned his gaze in Kylo's direction and any indication that he'd been off in his own mind disappeared, being replaced with a large smile. He shifted, turning to snuff out the cigarette in an ash tray behind him, before he resituated himself to place both feet on the ground. "I certainly am," he replied, with a continued large grin.
Kylo grinned as he sat the two plates out on one of the tables, along with silverware, glass stems and the like. "I think I managed to fit everything we needed onto one tray. I suppose we'll find out."
He'd gone ahead and served each plate, and spent some time on presentation. It seemed like the sort of thing Eliot would like, and something that maybe wasn't as prevalent in Tumbleweed as it was in some of the places Kylo was used to. Maybe not some of the places that Eliot was used to as well - although Kylo wasn't as familiar with those places. At least, not outside of the Cottage, and the Cottage had become home, sort of.
Certainly Eliot had gone a long ways to making it feel home, even if it was nothing like what Kylo had known on the Finalizer, or even what he remembered from his parent's home on Hosnian Prime, or his father's ship, or the places he'd trained as a Jedi. It was warmer than all of those places, and even the addition of people Kylo didn't know so well hadn't disrupted that warmth. If Eliot left, maybe Kylo wouldn't feel as comfortable, but so long as Eliot was there, he had to admit that he rather liked his room in the Cottage.
"Hopefully I haven't picked anything that you dreadfully dislike," he added. "I got a bit creative with some of it." The tomato sauce he'd made by hand, and had been the easiest - or at least the most like what he was used to cooking with at home - but all of it had fallen together reasonably easily. "Wine?"
As he straightened up, Eliot let his eyes sweep over the tray once Kylo had made his statement. Upon initial glances, it certainly seemed as though Kylo had managed to grab everything. "I can't think of anything that would be missing," he reassured him, watching as he began to unload the tray. With his eyes landing on the plate, his smile grew more.
This wasn't necessarily something that Eliot was accustomed to. He was often the one who was putting a heavy insistence on meals and presentation. He was certain if he'd not been so keen on fancy get togethers and actual food, the rest of the Physical kids would have resorted to the typical college fair of takeout and pizza delivery. Eliot, however, prefered grandiose in his evenings with company to boot. And since this was his preference, and he was the resident cook among his friends, he was the one who nearly always did meal prep.
No one cooked for him and this thought alone kept cycling in his mind as he had anxiously awaited dinner.
"I think you're safe because it smells amazing," he commented as he continued to appreciate all the thought that had gone into it, as well as the notion that Kylo had really wanted to make sure he didn't present anything Eliot hadn't enjoyed. He'd asked him about ingredients he disliked prior and him mentioning his hope now was an affirmation of the thought that had gone into this.
He rather enjoyed knowing that someone was putting this sort attention into details for him. He glanced up towards Kylo at the mention of wine. "Oh, yes, please."
While it was difficult for Kylo to get drunk if he didn't want to, right now the idea of having some wine, or maybe just something in his hand to take off whatever ridiculous nerves kept bubbling off, was definitely a good one. He uncorked the wine, using the Force just a bit to help keep from doing so ingracefully, and then he poured them both some wine. He offered Eliot one of the stems and then, motioned that he could take a seat.
Really it was all a thank you, because there were more times than Kylo wanted to admit to that Eliot had kept him from completely freaking out and probably destroying something (if he were being really honest). Navigating relationships wasn't something Kylo considered himself really good at during the best of times, and having to navigate your much younger mother who wasn't really your mother, and your much younger father whom did not remember you and whom you killed in his future, was hardly the best of times. And perhaps equally important, Eliot hadn't seemed put off or judgy about any of it. And maybe Kylo was afraid that somehow something he'd do eventually would put Eliot off, so this was just trying to buy extra grace for when that happened, but also, Kylo wasn't certain how else to show his appreciation.
"The tomato sauce at least, I'm certain of," he offered. "So if all else fails, I'll just bring us bowls of that."
As he sat down, Kylo lifted his own glass to his lips and took a sip. He hadn't cooked a terrible meal yet since arriving, so why on earth was he worried about this one?
"Thanks," he added. " I mean, I know I said it before, but just… you never seem put off by the family… things."
He took the wine glass when it was offered and took a habitual sip from it. Years of attending wine tasting events made it so he was always curious when a new bottle was open. Setting it back down on the table, with an approving look, he glanced back to Kylo as the man spoke.
Eliot intended to wait to begin tasting the dish until Kylo had sat and appeared ready to east as well. "I've always been of the belief that if you can master the sauce, you've practically succeeded. It's the sauce that carries most dishes," he commented.
Watching as Kylo sat down, he tilted his head partially. Then he gave an understanding nod. "It's going to take a whole lot more than families for me to be put off," he reassured him.
Kylo nodded, his lips curling upward in a small smile. The sauce he was certain of and the rest would be fine. He placed his glass down and reached for a fork, nodding at Eliot to go ahead.
Part of him wondered what might put Eliot off. He hadn't been put off by the information about Kylo's family, even when Kylo had told him what he'd done to his own father. It seemed as if that were the sort of thing that most people would find unforgivable yet Eliot hadn't stopped wanting to be around him. After that night he'd still been a friend, and Kylo had to admit that he while he wasn't certain why, he was grateful for it. Really Eliot was the reason he had anyone here who spoke to him outside of his mother, who was complicated, and Rey, who hated him. But Eliot had introduced him to Petunia, and Quentin, and now there were others that Kylo might not know well, but who he had the possibility of knowing better. He mostly didn't feel quite such an ill fit when Eliot was there, and part of him wondered further if he'd known someone like Eliot when he was much younger if things would have turned out differently with his family.
"You know my darkest secret," Kylo remarked, low and more evenly than he felt. "If that has not turned you off then maybe nothing will," he glanced up to meet Eliot's eyes for an instant before he lifted his own fork to cut a bite. Nothing about his parents was simple. He wanted to believe he was glad his father had left, but in truth he wondered if that desire wasn't equally likely as his believing that killing his father had done anything beneficial for him. And his mother was alone, this time through no fault of his, but dislike certain things about her or no, she'd been obviously happy, and it felt wrong she shouldn't have the chance to be yet. He shook the thoughts off with a shake of his head, his hair bouncing lightly as he did so.
He took a bite, considered it and then decided that it was nothing to be embarrassed of. "What is the verdict?" he asked Eliot. "I thought about making reservations somewhere as a backup, but this is hardly Hosnian Prime. Or even Chandrila. I think reservations are pushing it."
Eliot picked up his wine glass once again and drank from it before catching the remark. His eyes shifted back to meet Kylo's as the man had continued. It was true. Eliot hadn't been turned off by Kylo's confession all those months ago. Eliot knew why he hadn't turned Kylo away, too. While he'd given an explanation of his thoughts on the manner, when Kylo had first told him, he hadn't fessed up to all of his own demons. They weren't the same. He hadn't been responsible for the death of a family member.
But he'd been responsible for a death.
"I can't fathom anything doing so at this juncture," he finally said, though he looked as though he was pondering something else that was left unsaid. Opting to hold it back for the time, he picked up his fork and took one more appreciative glance at his food before turning the utensil so the side of the fork could slice down through the entire cannoli. Bringing it to his lips, he felt a wave of delight from how good the dish tasted. Kylo had nothing to worry about in Eliot's eyes. This was divine. Once he'd swallowed the bite, he picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth, before looking at Kylo. "Spectacular," he informed him. He had a brief moment of consideration, of waxing poetic about the dish, as he'd have likely done in the past with others he wanted to know he cared for but he refrained. In the past, the over abundance of compliments had felt necessary but never authentic, even if they derived from a place of truth. He wanted to be authentic and real when it came to his friendship with Kylo, and he hoped the true praise was better than a lavish one.
He then gave a little bit of a chuckle. "Thankfully that was unnecessary," he stated. "Plus, if we were going to get reservations anywhere, we really ought to just bite the bullet and travel out of state. Which...might not be a bad idea for a future excursion," he suggested.
Then, setting his fork down, he looked to Kylo. "Speaking of the family stuff, your Mom..." he began, trying to find the proper words, "...is she alright? Being on her own?"
The statement was simple, perhaps more so than what Kylo expected from Eliot, but perhaps it made more impact because of that. Kylo glanced up, his sense of the man across from him said that it was truthful, even with its brevity, and a thrill of pleasure moved through him as he bent his head back over his own plate to take another bite. That was as much as he could have hoped for.
"I would enjoy travel I think," Kylo offered. "Other than the island, which this is - thankfully - nothing like, and this part of Texas, I have not been anywhere on this planet. But I have seen on television that there are a number of places not much like this, and a city would be nice to visit at some point. I suspect you know your way around some places."
He put his fork down and took a generous sip of the wine before answering anything about his mother. "Leia isn't by herself," he said flatly, putting the glass back down. "She's staying with Dameron."
And Kylo wasn't jealous about that. It was her right to ask to stay with whomever she wished, and he couldn't really be upset that she'd chosen to stay somewhere with someone rather than stay at the apartment by herself. Perhaps he should have offered to move back in, but he hadn't really wanted to leave the Cottage, and he hadn't really wanted to move back in. She still didn't know about Han and Kylo, and if she found out, it would certainly only make things worse. Poe Dameron acted as Kylo suspected his mother wished he would. More like the younger brother that was actually his mother's son seemed to act, and Kylo was unlikely to ever be able to play that part even if he tried. So there wasn't any point. He offered, with words more certain than he really felt: "I suppose she's fine."
As Kylo spoke, Eliot allowed himself to take a few more bites from the dish, making certain to take his time and savor the meal. He gave a small nod of his head in agreement. "We should consider it, soon. Texas isn't half as bad as I first anticipated, but there's other cities that suit me better," he returned. "I think we ought to go to New York. I suppose maybe Los Angeles or San Diego could be alright, but my heart always feels more at home with the East coast opposed to the West," he went on further. He then smiled. "I definitely do," he agreed. And he wanted to take Kylo to the places he'd felt so at home in before. New York was easy to fall into the tourist traps but Eliot knew his way there. He'd show him the places that couldn't be so easily discovered through a TripAdvisor list.
He then blinked. He hadn't expected that piece of information. He'd been dreading finding out Kylo was going to go back to her apartment. He didn't know much about the individual Kylo had named but he recognized it as the person who had let Leia get married on his property. It had been a nice residence and certainly large enough to welcome others.
"Do you think she intends to stay there for the foreseeable future?" Eliot imagined if Han returned that Leia wouldn't want to impose a married couple on the aforementioned Dameron, but if Han was out of the picture, would she want to stay there for the long term?
The idea of enjoying a city with Eliot was a pleasant one. Kylo half wished that they'd been friends back when they'd been on Coruscant because despite not knowing the planet intimately, he certainly could have shown Eliot a thing or two and it would have been enjoyable to feel not completely uncertain of everything around him. Regardless, he'd enjoy seeing someplace that Eliot knew and loved as opposed to Texas which Kylo suspected they were both just tolerating.
"I don't know," Kylo shook his head, putting down the fork to take a drink of wine and pause for a moment. "I haven't asked her." He frowned slightly, took another sip of the wine and shook his head. "Maybe. She likes Dameron."
He set his own fork down and scooped up his wine stem before sitting back against his chair. He was silent as he mulled over Kylo's response and the concerns he'd been fretting over earlier that evening came back to the surface. When he did finally speak, his tone had shifted to a quieter one that more matched the one Kylo had adopted when they began this discussion.
"She likes you, too," Eliot told Kylo without any uncertainty. He knew this to be true. His gaze dropped down when he spoke his next words. "Would you have rathered she asked you?"
Kylo shifted uneasily in his chair, his eyes dropping to the plate in front of him. Perhaps Eliot was right about Leia liking him. The only possible explanation outside of that for her having spent as much time with him as she had, was some sort of familial duty. But that felt less than likely considering that she wasn't really his mother and she knew that. So the only other possible explanation was that she wanted to for some reason.
"No," he offered, but it wasn't a really certain statement. He reached for his fork, pulled off a bite of food, and for a moment he held it suspended over the plate, staring at it. "It's not like this is really my place, so I can see why she wouldn't have asked me. Dameron has his own place, so it makes sense. It's logical."
He glanced up to Kylo now as he analyzed the statement. Kylo was speaking about the cottage. He didn't feel like he could invite Leia to live here. And while Eliot disagreed fundamentally with that, as he'd have been fine with Kylo inviting practically anyone he wanted, the more important take away from the statement was that Kylo intended to remain here. Or that's what it seemed to him.
"You want to stay," he said aloud before he had chance to stop himself. Quickly realizing this could be misinterpreted, he added, "I mean, I want you to stay. I just thought...with Han leaving and all...that you might have wanted to go be with Leia," he explained.
Maybe Kylo should want to go be with Leia, but he didn't really. Well, it was a little more complicated than just that - what wasn't more complicated where his mother was concerned? - but also he liked the cottage and he liked the people in it. Specifically, he supposed, he liked the man he'd made dinner for, one of the few people in probably his entire life, that he felt like he'd connected to at all and who treated him with genuine respect. So - it was maybe less that he didn't want to go with Leia, and more that he didn't want to leave Eliot and the cottage.
"I want to stay here with you," he explained, taking a bite of his food and then realizing upon doing so that the statement could very easily be interpreted more about Eliot than he'd intended to make it - which might be true, but wasn't something he'd really wanted to share. His cheeks felt a little warm as he amended rather rapidly, a quick assault of words that might cover-up at least part of the intention behind the first sentence: "And also the others. The cottage is nice, and I don't think mother needs me right now. At least not to stay with her. I can always see her at other times, and it's nice not having her looking over her shoulder. And with Dameron and the scavenger, it's not as if she needs me right there."
He completed the rush of words with another bite of food, and reaching for the glass of wine again.
He wanted to stay with him.
Almost immediately, Eliot turned his gaze upwards and gave a pleased smile to the man, as a wave of relief washed over him. Aware that he was perhaps smiling too much about the statement, he was quick to take another drink from his wine glass to cover his expression. When he lowered it, he spoke.
"I'm glad you want to stay with me," he repeated and allowed for a slight pause before adding, "and the others. It wouldn't feel right anymore without you here."
And that much, Eliot knew, was completely true. He couldn't imagine the cottage any longer without Kylo, and Millicent, in the equation.
Kylo put the wine down and looked up, meeting Eliot's gaze and he offered him a smile. He'd stay then. If Eliot wanted him to be here, then this was definitely where he wanted to be. He picked his fork up again and took another bite.
"I guess it might change if or when Mother goes back to the apartment. And, technically my quarters are there. But…" He hesitated. He didn't really care for the idea of returning to that awkwardness. There was an ease, even with the people Eliot continued to invite home, at the cottage that was lacking with his mother and he wasn't certain he'd ever be able to find there no matter how their relationship might change. "Perhaps if that's the case, we could look into that portal you said you could do. So I could move between the places more easily."
He let the smile linger as Kylo returned it back to him. Picking up the fork once again, he took another bite from his plate, and listened as Kylo began to speak again. Noting the hesitation, he didn't interject, instead turning his gaze back to the man to wait patiently for the right explanation to come.
Then he nodded as he set down his fork. "If that happens, we can definitely set up the portal. And we'll hide it to the point where only we know it's there," he assured him. He didn't like having to be so secretive with his abilities but this would be done in doors. The Military needn't be an issue.
"But for now, we've got here."
"And if someone finds out it's there that we don't want to know, then I'll deal with it," Kylo remarked easily, taking another bite of the food. It was decent. He'd managed to make a pretty good dinner, and the salad with the melon was, as he had hoped it would be, an excellent counterpoint for it.
He didn't think his mother would care if there was such a portal, but she also didn't need to know about it. Really, nobody would need to outside of himself and Eliot. There was something pleasant about the idea of holding a secret with just the two of them and he couldn't help a bit of a smirk as he took another bite of the salad.
"You're going to leave room for dessert, yes?" He shook his head back, shaking his hair away from his face as he did so. "Because I might have made something for that too."
Eliot gave a nod of agreement to that statement then proceeded to turn back to his meal. He trusted that, in that event, Kylo would know how to handle it and it would be an effective way of doing so. As for the need for the portal ever arising, it wouldn't be such a bad arrangement. It would mean that, technically, Kylo would be able to come and go as he pleased.
And this meant Eliot didn't need to worry about any major change between them or the space of the Cottage. This was just the way Eliot wanted things to be.
Turning his gaze to Kylo once again, he smirked. "You're spoiling me, Kylo Ren," he said with a tone of delight and a continued grin.
A genuine grin crossed Kylo's face at the delight in Eliot's tone. It was one of those rare ones that pulled up one corner of his mouth a little higher than the other, and managed to make it all the way up to his eyes. He ducked his head and took another bite of food, but he couldn't quite stop grinning even despite that bite.
"Maybe someone needs to, occasionally," he retorted back, mostly flippantly, but he liked the idea that he could, specifically. Eliot seemed pretty willing, after all, to reach out and take care of people all over the place, so someone maybe needed to keep an eye on him. And besides which, Kylo liked seeing the grin. He liked seeing that grin directed at him. And if all it took was a meal - which Kylo enjoyed doing anyway - to get that grin directed at him, that was very easy spoils to do. "You do like chocolate though, and you aren't allergic to any nuts, right?"
Eliot liked seeing that smile come from Kylo. It had the effect upon him in turn where he felt the urge to beam largely in the other man's direction. Opting to take a quick drink from his stem, though still grinning as he did so, his eyes shifted to Kylo when he spoke and he wanted to smile even more.
He wasn't certain if Kylo's statement was true but he did know that he liked the feeling. He'd been enjoying just the knowledge of the impending event up until the day, and now that it had arrived, it felt even better than he'd anticipated. Especially knowing that the weight of his worries involving the living situation were for naught.
"I'm certainly not going to complain," he stated before nodding his head. "I won't ever turn away chocolate. And no, no allergies," he responded.
"If you did, you might not get dessert," Kylo smirked, as he pulled his napkin from his lap and gathered himself up to go see about said dessert. But as he stood he glanced back over and he had to admit that Eliot's smile could light up a room. It was beautiful, and Kylo would happily make as many chocolate desserts as he could to see it as often as he could. Possibly he shouldn't be thinking that, but was it so bad to want to make someone else happy?
He wasn't certain what Snoke would say, but he also didn't really care - a startling realisation that he'd have to spend more time unpacking later. The First Order wasn't here, Snoke wasn't here, and Kylo had his actual Grandfather to get actual advice about the Force from which meant that maybe what Snoke would say - specifically - really wasn't so important. Regardless right now the only thing that really mattered was giving Eliot chocolate dessert. And that he intended to do right away.
"I'll be right back then, don't you go anywhere."