lystrom nott just has a lot of feelings (trawls) wrote in thedept, @ 2013-08-23 19:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! misc, lystrom nott |
The camera flicks open just as Lystrom Nott (LN) and Bark appear through the door and is forced to shake the hand of Clara Jones (CJ) who stands beside him and smiles for another camera which flashes just after Lystrom rolls his eyes and throws his hand. Bark stands in-between them. Clara offers him a seat and he takes it while Bark parks herself under it to and she places herself just across him.
Video cam now focuses on Lystrom.
CJ: Thank you for coming to this interview, Mr. Nott.
LN: Do I bloody well have a choice?
Awkward pause.
CJ: Okay, then. Shall we begin? Umm...first question is...with regards to your relationship with Mr. Jim Potter, is there something going on between you and him?
LN: ...pardon?
CJ: You and Jim Potter. Is there anything going on between you?
LN: (parts his mouth open as he stares at CJ.)
CJ: Is that a yes?
LN: No! Jesus Christ, do you really believe there’s something between Jim and I? Listen, I know we’re very close and I know you all have fantasies of us fucking in the confessional booth but for the last time, there is nothing going on between Jim and I! Jim is my best mate, we go all the way back and we’re just really good friends. Now, I understand that there are some of you who wished we were more than that but for God’s sake and mine, please keep your bloody fantasies to yourselves and your blogs. I don’t need them.
CJ: O...kay, that’s...very in-depth. Mmm...how about Mr. Vivean Li, is there something going on between you two?
LN: (gapes.) What? Even Vivean? Jesus Chri-- listen-- you, what’s your name again?
CJ: Clara Jones.
LN: Clara. Right. (He runs his hand down down his lips and jaw, looking away as he thinks…) I don’t understand what makes you think that Vivean and I are even close. Yes, we shared some moments which were bloody broadcast to the entire wizarding population, yes, I admit, we’d been interacting more since then but Vivean...is not my close mate. We’re just not close. So before you form your theories about how our love can grow unbeknownst to us, please. Just stop.
CJ: Ooh-kay, touchy subject...let’s move on to something else, what's your hair care regime?
LN: What?
CJ: Your hair care regime! You know, do you put a tonic in it, how often do you wash your hair, do you--
LN: No. I fucking cut myself in the mirror and make a sacrifice to the god of evil so that he would come down and slay my enemies so that I could bathe in their blood and eat their intestines and bring out my curls.
CJ: ...seriously?
LN: (groans and rolls his eyes, whispers.) You’ve got be fucking kidding me.
CJ: (titters) Okay, okay, not serious. Big secret, okay. Umm...well, tell us about your favourite fan encounter.
LN: (looks at her with a raised brow.) Whatever it is, it probably has them leaving me alone.
CJ: You mean, you’ve never had anyone say...approach you in a cafe for a picture? Or tell them how much they love you while you’re shopping?
LN: (inhales and exhales deeply) Well, yes. There have been encounters.
CJ: Oh finally, a proper answer.
LN: (eyes grow.) Well, if you would give me a proper question, I’d give you a proper answer!
CJ: All right, okay! You don’t have to go all shouty at me...well, in those kinds of scenarios, what was your favourite of them?
LN: (sighs and pauses…) Once upon a time, a 5-year old kid tugged me in the pants and told me he liked me because I didn’t give a shit. His words. Not mine. I met his father after who clapped me in the arm. And then I met their mother who slapped her husband, glared at me and walked away.
CJ: (laughing.) Oh well, that’s very cute!
LN: (mumbles.) Yeah, well… (nods then shrugs.)
CJ: Okay. (clears her throat.) Ginger hotties: your verdict.
LN: (wrinkles brows.) Excuse me?
CJ: Ginger--
LN: (hand reaches to her a bit.) You know, we were in the right track. And now you’re asking me these questions, again?
CJ: Well, do you deny that you were in a relationship with Elinora Umbridge? Who’s a ginger?
LN: No-- I mean, yes. Yes because we weren’t together officially but we were almost there.
CJ: What happened?
LN: We-- (groans and throws his hand up a little.) ...Jim and I fought.
CJ: And you insist that--
LN: I’m not particularly fond of gingers. I don’t hate them, I’m not obsessed about them, I have no opinion about them. With regards to my liking Elinora, though, that’s a different matter altogether. I liked her because she was nice and she cared for me and she didn-- she didn’t look at me twice just because my grandfather was a Death Eater. And she’s a really good friend to me and yes, I think she’s beautiful.
CJ: Do you have anything to say about your relationship?
LN: (shrugs.)
CJ: How do you feel about being called a teen heartthrob?
LN: I-- (sighs.) Frankly, I don’t think about it.
CJ: No?
LN: I just...don’t.
CJ: But hasn’t it affected your everyday decisions? Like, maybe, instead of buying a tuna sandwich, do you now feel compelled to buy a grilled fish sandwich with jalapeno slaw because...because people could be watching you or that looks more like something a heartthrob would buy rather than a plain old tuna sandwich?
LN: See, that’s the thing. If you let these things get to your head, you are definitely just asking for your life to be ruined. I’m not saying my life is perfect but as far as I’m concerned, I’m pretty satisfied with it right now and I don’t plan on changing it for the sake of the fact that people apparently think I’m their ideal man. My life now is still much like my life before this whole circus started and I’d be happy to keep it that way with or without a camera.
CJ: How about your ideal date? Has it changed? Can you describe it for us?
LN: (shakes head and shrugs.) I don’t have an ideal date. It all depends on the girl so umm...I guess it hasn’t changed. I don’t have much of a standard when it comes to dates so long as the girl isn’t bad and the world doesn’t end while I’m in it. (shrugs again.)
CJ: And your relationships? How has being in the media affected them? We’ve discussed Elinora earlier.
LN: (exhales as he scratches his head.) ...I don’t...I don’t like...to bring the people I love close to the media. I know there’s...there’s people like Jim and Elinora but I don’t have a choice with them. With the others, though, like my sister...my other friends, as much as I can, I keep them away from the media because I know how shitty it is to be in it and I don’t want them to be affected by the same kind of treatment I get.
CJ: You mentioned your sister and I seem to recall that you have a brother, too. Why didn’t you mention him…
LN: No. (shakes head.) No, I don’t want to talk about my brother. Skip that. Not talking about him. Next question, please.
CJ: What's next for Lystrom Nott?
LN: (silence as he looks at CJ...and for once, he actually doesn’t look ready to flip a table.) ...well. I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, huh?
Camera moves back to show Clara and Lystrom rising from their seats, Bark rising from her curled state, as they shake hands and Clara thanks him. Recording ends.