Ordhan asked more questions and for a moment Lillie could only nod affirmative. She was scared. She didn't know who to confide in. There was a Templar traveling with them, after all. For the most part she'd been able to push her worries aside, but now she was faced with them again and she turned from Ordhan, pacing a few steps away. She tilted her head back, gazing up at the sky. It was the color of dark blue velvet, pin-pricked with the glow of stars. The silvery light of the moon washed over her and Lillie strove to steady herself.
She was no shrinking violet. She had always faced things head on in the past. She could face Ordhan's questions with the same bravery. Perhaps if she told her story he would support her. Perhaps they could even reconnect in a way, this time as friends rather than impersonal lovers.
"I was young when I learned I had magic. I was still living in the Alienage with my grandfather.. I suppose I was about... 7 or perhaps 8? Playing a simple child's game and I cast what I now know to be a forcefield. I was scared. I knew the other kids who'd shown magic got taken away. So I just pretended I didn't have any. I didn't tell anyone. I never even used it again until the day Denerim was attacked.." She trailed off again, turning to face him.
"You must have been there, serving as a guard. You were probably in the thick of things. The Pearl was one of the last places to be evacuated. Whores aren't much of a priority I gather, though higher than the Alienage. In any case... we decided to try and make for the Palace. The walls would offer more protection than a brothel. On the way there we found that the streets were blocked by fire and debris. Those... things, those darkspawn came at us while we were trapped there. Our bartender... he knew how to handle a blade and he tried to fight them off. Killed one.. but the other got him. It was only five of us girls, none with so much as a dagger. I... paralyzed him with a spell so that we could escape. Which we did."
No one had spoken to her after that though, except for Tamrith. The other girls had looked at her with as much fear as they'd looked at the horrible darkspawn creatures. Girls who'd she'd thought of as friends. "After things died down a little I slipped away and made for the docks. Took the first boat heading somewhere else."
And that was it, she'd just told him her whole story. Why she'd really left Ferelden, and gone essentially into hiding. She knew that all those years ago when he'd dumped his secrets and worries onto her willing ears she'd carried her own secret. Why did she feel guilty for keeping it from him before?