narrative: saying goodbye (Part II of II) Who: Constans and Desiderio Ledaal. Where Vigil's Keep. When: Evening of 13 Molioris, 9:45. Concurrent to the Joining. Summary: Desiderio and Constans have a falling out. Rating: Mostly harmless?
Desiderio hadn’t been able to say goodbye. He’d spent all day trying to figure out how, even much of the night before, keeping himself company with a bottle of wine that started half-full and slowly graduated to empty. Despite all hopes, it failed to improve his spirits much. Now the evening loitered on the tail edge of dusk; if the Joining hadn’t begun already it would soon, and either way he knew it was too late. He might never see his friends again.
Guilt and anxiety twisted at Desi’s guts, but they weren’t alone in making his heart race and his stomach flip. The shirt and trousers he wore felt strange after nearly ten years (ten damn years!) in robes, but ignoring a certain amount of mild chafing it was a good strange. Stolen during the night from someone’s unlocked quarters the clothes were a novelty to be certain, but on their own they were a petty show of defiance amounting to nothing more than any other of his little rebellions against the restrictions of the Circle. It was determination to act which made his flesh prickle with goosebumps tonight, not mere hubris nor the faintly cooling night air that hit him as he pushed open the door that led off towards the docks. He nodded to the single, preoccupied guard at the door as he stepped outside, forcing himself to walk slowly and fight the urge to grin. It was just that easy.
The Joining must be a terrible thing, from the way it left the entire keep in a state of mourning before it had even occurred. Desi wasn’t the praying sort, so he bypassed the Maker and sent his heartfelt wishes for his friends’ safety straight to them, acutely aware that his good fortune tonight came at their expense. While they risked their lives Bethen, Byron, Emrys and all of the other Grey Warden recruits provided him with the perfect distraction; Vigil’s Keep was the least vigilant it could ever surely be. The concentrated guard presence at the Joining chamber combined with the solemn spirit of brotherhood that seemed to compel the rest left the usual checkposts unmanned, the few sparse patrollers less than watchful, and (best of all) the ranks of the Templars more than cut in half.
The courtyard was narrow here along the back side of the keep facing the cliffs, and utterly deserted. Fifty paces and Desi’s hands were pushing against the heavy gate that he knew led to the path down to the docks, nary a guard or soul in sight. Without his robes he didn’t think he’d be called out on his little evening stroll anyway, but all the better if nobody saw him depart, as fewer witnesses must surely mean a longer head-start. With any luck... he’d be forgotten entirely in the wake of the Joining, his flight concealed for days.
The door leapt suddenly outward, opened easily by someone from the other side. Desi lurched forward in the sudden absence of an opposing force, stumbling but catching himself by grabbing the shirt of the tall figure looming above him in the shadows of the gate. A surge of surprise and fear coursed through him instantly, followed by a quick burst of annoyance that his grand exit had been ruined by some random-
Oh, Maker.
Constans grasped Desiderio firmly but gently by the elbow, helping his stunned brother to stand fully upright. It was no wonder Desi had mistaken him for someone else, as the older Ledaal was dressed quite like he was himself in a collared shirt and brown breeches. Desi had never before in his life seen Constans wear anything like this, as they’d both still been boys when the first of them was taken to the tower, and from then on out it had been robes, robes, robes. He liked to think the new look was as much of an improvement on himself as he quickly decided it was on his older brother.
Constans cocked his head at Desi strangely, that pale stare boring into him in the darkness. He sensed that there was an unspoken question in the gaze, but was unwilling to answer it.
“You scared the piss ought of me,” he accused nervously instead. “I didn’t know anybody was back there.”
“I apologize.” The stare continued, resolute.
Desi couldn’t think of what else to say. He hadn’t say goodbye to Constans either, not really... it didn’t matter to him after all, did it? Constans wouldn’t care, and it was too hard to try, so in the end he hadn’t even made the attempt. He felt his heart lurch, a spike of guilt hitting him in the vitals. Damn him, why did he always have to show up like this, haunting Desi’s shadow without even seeming to try?
“I- what are you doing out here, Con?”
“I was sent to the boathouse to deliver a shipment of repaired items. My instructions were to make the delivery as soon as the order was finished.”
“Long day then, huh,” Desi said, feeling lame. Maybe his brother would leave things at that, but somehow he doubted it.
“No more so than usual.”
Would he really be lucky enough to slip out of this? Desi started to edge around Constans, the regret seeping into his expression warring with hungry glances down the path at his brother’s back. “You’d better get back then. I’ll... I’ll see you later.”
“Where are you going, brother?”
Ah. There it was. “I wanted to take a walk, maybe down by the water. The whole fortress is acting strange because of the Joining, and I just... need to get away for a while.” He wasn’t really lying, if you looked at it from a certain angle.
“You are not wearing your robes.” Constans’ expression never changed, that stare somehow so dull and so canny all at once, sometimes.
“Neither are you.”
“I have been given permission,” Constans countered reasonably. “You are not permitted to be outside of the keep without a Templar escort.”
“We’re a little short on Templars right now, if you hadn’t noticed. It’s Joining night, and there’s three of them going to be Wardens.” Desi found it increasingly hard to bite back his irritation at the unfairness of this whole situation. Of all of the people, of all of the times, it really would have to go like this wouldn’t it.
“You should remain inside, if there are none available.”
“Are you going to stop me?” Angry, Desi sidestepped his brother and began to march down the path. “Goodb-”
“May I come with you?”
Startled by the question, he paused and turned, frowning. “Why, Constans?”
“I am not a Templar,” came the reply, “but if they are short-handed, I am also not a mage. Perhaps any sort of escort is better than none.”
“Con, I... just want to be alone for a while, okay? Don’t bother yourself about it.”
“It will not be any trouble to accompany you. Additionally, there are wild animals-”
“I’m not going to get lost or blow anybody up, I’m not going to be eaten by wolves, I’m just going to the docks.”
“I think that I should come.”
“No!” Desi nearly yelled. Running a hand down his face in exasperation, he said through his teeth, “Look, I’ll be fine on my own. I don’t-” frustrated, he blurted, “I don’t need you following me around all the time, trying to hold my hand! Stop whatever it is you’re doing and leave me alone!”
He started to walk away again, and heard the crunch of Constans’ shoes on the path, following. Would he never escape? Frustrated, irrational, feeling trapped, he rounded once more on his brother, his whole frame taut with anxiety. Constans looked back at him innocently mid-stride, making Desi ache with guilt and resentment, unable for a moment even to speak.
“Why do you have to go and make something so simple so damn difficult? Go away, Constans. I’m going on my own, and you can’t come with me. Just go back inside.”
Desiderio stormed away into the darkness without another word, biting his lip and feeling a great deal less free than he had expected to by now.
Constans stood, unmoving and silent, until the sound of his brother’s footsteps faded away into the night.
Somewhere behind them both, in the courtyard of Vigil’s Keep, a woman began to sing.