bethen avilla ; the circle mage (bethe) wrote in thedas,
At his touch, Beth flinched; she didn't mean to, but her shoulder tensed and twitched away from his hand at first, before relaxing under it. Apparently her subconscious was now just as dedicated to keeping her from making this mistake as her awake mind. She didn't want to be uncomfortable around him, but the last time he had come that close to her, she was overwhelmed with two distinct emotions: desire, and pain. Her reaction was simply defensive instinct. Aurin meant to be comforting, though, and knowing that made her slump a little bit in her seat, the tension dissolving into obvious sorrow. She didn't want to drag him down to her depths of despair, but the topic had been breached. Still, she didn't look at him, thinking too much about the horrors of the previous evening. The images played out in a loop in her mind: Byron's bleeding body on the floor next to Emrys, Lirana face down with her cold hand in Trevan's, and even Maddock had succumbed. Beth never would have thought herself to be stronger than a man like him.
Her voice was much more somber now, even though there was an edge of cold determination to it, just as icy as the look in her pale eyes when she turned them to up him, "I...have to be, don't I? If not fine, then at least...capable of moving on. I've done it before." This wasn't the first time she had been through a disaster. They'd both seen the same things. Maybe the Crow was right, when he'd made his speech that night. Maybe she was lucky. She didn't think she believed in the Maker any longer, but...her life had been spared at least twice, now. Maybe there was a reason for it. Or maybe not. Either way, she was alive now, and she should have been grateful for it. And Bethen was, even though she also felt incredibly undeserving of her fortune.
She then remembered what he said about not knowing where he was going, and her heart sank again. Placing her right hand on top of his that was on her left shoulder, she curled her fingers around the edge of his hand until the tips were under his palm. "You haven't heard yet, then?" she asked for confirmation. Beth swallowed, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news, but maybe it was better coming from her than from a stranger. "I... Well, I don't know where you'll be going, but...it's not with me. Or Alderic," she added the other templar, now Warden, in the hopes that at least Aurin would be assured by the idea of their mutual friend being in her company. She was hesitant to tell him about their destination, though.