bethen avilla ; the circle mage (bethe) wrote in thedas,
He was partially correct in suggesting that someone had to bother her -- Bethen would have had a very lonely childhood if Aurin hadn't been part of it, and the same could be said the other way around. She didn't need to say again how grateful she was for it, though. She tried to get out of his way as he put down the items he was carrying by sitting down in the chair at his desk; a flicker of concern passed through her thoughts at the closed door, but she quickly relaxed. Only Kendric knew she was with Aurin, and she didn't figure him the type to either say or think anything of it. Nevertheless, Beth had no intention of testing this theory; while there wouldn't be consequences for her actions, being that she had a feeling that none of the Warden command staff cared about personal conduct, Aurin was still subject to reprimand by the templar order. Naturally, the package on the bed made her curious, but she was patient enough not to ask about it.
Upon mentioning that he was preparing to leave, Beth wondered just how much he knew about the situation. She wasn't even entirely certain that he was still going to be part of the Wardens' group of allies; perhaps he had been recalled to the Tower, or elsewhere by the Chantry, and that was why the messenger didn't know his name. But in the end, it didn't really matter how they were being parted, so much as they were going to be, at all. Beth studied him quietly, noticing that he was still more reserved than usual, and looking a bit harried and sleepless. If he needed rest, she would have slipped out the door then to allow him a nap now that she had made her survival known, but their conversation had just begun, and she didn't think that he would have wanted her to go.
She wasn't sure what to say to him, though, another long pause falling into place after Aurin had finally broken the silence. "Alderic told you I was fine, then?" Beth offered as a response, but as soon as she said it, she frowned and wrapped her arms around herself, breaking away from watching him to stare sullenly at the floor. "Well, that I lived, anyway. I don't know that I'm...fine." It was a poor choice of words, because as happy as she was to have survived, she had been tormented by nightmares and wracked with guilt over being the only one of her friends to make it through the night, for one reason or another. He had to have known they were dead, but not how, and the secret of the trauma that the Warden-Commander had asked them to keep was the most painful part. She couldn't tell Aurin about Byron and Maddock. Or that she'd drunk a tall glass of poison and was forever changed by it. She could feel the alteration in her veins, sense the presence of others carrying the taint in the back of her mind. It was an awareness that Aurin couldn't understand, that she couldn't share with him. Yet another thing to set them apart, even though she didn't want to be away from him.