bethen avilla ; the circle mage (bethe) wrote in thedas,
If Bethen were a more impulsive person, she may have closed that small gap between them with a kiss. Not to the cheek as she had done times before, but on the lips, making his quiet breathes her own, sealing these promises. The thought of such an intimate action crossed her mind for a second, and passed just as quickly as a terrible idea -- not because of him, not because it wouldn't mean anything to her, but because it would have meant everything, and the realization frightened her. Enough things were changing around them already. Something had to stay the same in their lives. And there was no use in making what could be their last days together awkward and strange, or worse yet, making the thought of their possible finality hurt even more. She valued their friendship too much, valued him too much, to do something so incredibly selfish. Just because she thought for a moment, because she felt--
Her pulse quickened, and her body betrayed her guilty thoughts, a rosy color spreading up to her cheeks, burning hot under his thumb. She moved his hand from her face and held it in her own with a delicate touch as she slid back on the bed, putting some physical distance between them so that her heart wouldn't continue to break. His walls had fallen, but she was building new ones up for herself. Beth still smiled, though, dabbing at the tears with her ragged sleeve. She hadn't changed into new robes yet; his shirt had fallen off her when she had moved to hug him and was piled on the bed next to her. It hadn't even crossed her mind how much bare skin had been touching until then.
Under any other circumstances, she wouldn't have started laughing between sniffles, but she did now, as she scooped the linen up and held it out to him. "You probably want this back now, don't you?"