Roran was scrubbing her dress fiercly enough to tear it to pieces, Elsa noticed with a slight raise of her dark eyebrows. When she finally let it go, Elsa knew she had her, the battle raging inside her eyes had to tip the scale in Elsa's favour. And when the words came spilling out, there were so much information hidden in them, that for a moment Elsa only stared in mild amazement. It was more pieces of the puzzle, and such a disgusting, elaborate puzzle it was proving to be. The chantry apparently had something against the mages that they were associated with, was startling, the notion that she was a monster to be cage up brought such an anger to the surface of her mind that momentarily she had to close her eyes and breath. Fire and ice danced in the darkness of her closed eyes that moment, and for once she was quite convinced that if she unleashed her uncontrolled powers, her fury would bring the required control. There would be no redhaired and friendly Roran Aghas, her words eliminated along with her body.
Fire and ice.
It took her a minute, but then her feelings were under control again, because even if the words were brutal, horrible and terrifying all in one, Elsa was quite sure Roran was only quoting someone else, probably the teachings of the Chantry and their lot. Raising her chin, swallowing, Elsa tried to focus on the second part of the little speech instead, to quell her feelings.
At first there was that reflex, the sudden satisfaction of having one. Examining it, Elsa could not see why it was a victory to make this unguarded young woman trust her, but her subconscious insisted that it was. And after all, it remained to be seen how things would play out in this strange little game, it could hardly hurt that her keeper liked her a little and trusted her. She did not know what the Dark Man wanted her to do, and it was always better to let enemies believe they were trusted friends. But even as Elsa's coldly calculating mind were contemplating this pleasing development, another part of her, the one that had been lonely and cold an aching for so long, wanted to open up in turn, try to answer the questions and thoughts this confused young woman had been hiding inside. Be a nurturing and thoughtful influence in her life, instead of a dirty and torn wanderer who passed by the village only to disappear as quickly as she could.
Neither was the answer, she knew, not the fire and not the openness she longed for. Hers was the middle path to walk, neither truth nor lie just a damnable haze of words. At that moment, Elsa wished to have her memories back simply so she could stop weaving half truths out of what she had learnt in her new life. She wanted certainty, to be able to lie because she knew the truth, not because she couldn't even guess.
Pushing a dark, wet strand of hair from her face, she composed her answer slowly. "Then you are finally thinking for yourself," Elsa began, a tad harshly. Realising how it sounded, she took pains to make her voice softer, more caring. "There is a duality to every thing in this world, Roran. With your sword you can protect the weak, but you can just as easily kill them. Everyday, every moment we make a choice. That my choice is different from yours does not make me a monster. My choices could but..." For a moment, her gaze flickered away from the girl, since she had killed, and most probably before her memory was lost too. She didn't believe in good and bad, she believed in having more power then your enemy in order to stop him from slitting your throat. But that could just as easily be translated into the concept that Roran was most familiar with, could it not? "Why am I a monster, Roran?" she prodded gently. "How am I different from you? Does magic make me so different?"