i'm using silly mechanics from AC:NL here. can edit the tag if they don't fit
Hank should have paced himself with the coffee. Hell, he should've paused long enough to utter a thank you. Instead, he chugged the cup's contents as fast as he was able. Like taking a cold shower after a bender, he felt convinced it would sweep away the mental cobwebs. Help him get a better grip on the situation.
Imagine his disappointment when reaching the bottom left him no better off. They were still in the middle of nowhere surrounded by bobble-headed creatures. Cerulean City sounded promising -- and very blue -- but 16.6 miles was a lot to traverse. At 3 miles per hour, it would take him 20 minutes to clear a mile. 20 times 16 was 320, divided by 60 was ...
Fuck math. Point being, Hank wasn't making that long a trip in a day. Not without a car. And from the looks of it, New Leaf was the kind of place where everyone walked everywhere. Scoffing at Connor, he admitted, "I'm not making it that far unless you piggy-back me. That's an indignity we could both do without."
So it would seem they were stuck here until Hank's proverbial battery had a chance to recharge. And yet, there were no traces of an inn among the varied storefronts. No bed and breakfast. Not a dingy motel in the bunch. Surely, even cute animal people needed someplace to do the horizontal tango. Nook's Homes was the closest approximation to what they needed but Hank dragged his heels over the idea of going inside. Real estate was a hassle he never again wanted to face. His piece-of-shit home back in Detroit was already paid off; that was good enough for him.
Unable to hold back any longer, Hank succumbed to his baser instincts. Allowed frustration to guide his balled fist toward the nearest tree. It shivered from the force of his blow. Who knew Hank was still that strong?
From its branches fell a large leaf. Once it hit the ground, it transformed into a sloppy sofa. Very Hank-like in style. It was already strewn with laundry and came complete with an open bag of potato chips. Two birds, one stone. Food and a place to rest his head all from a single act of violence. Whoever said it never solved anything was a dope.
At a total loss for words otherwise, he settled for staring at it with both hands on hips. Never mind his freshly bloodied knuckles. "Huh. You don't see every day."