|נεғғεяsση (haberdashery) wrote in theconsolelog,|
@ 2018-06-18 12:46:00
If cartography and map-making was to commence, that meant a lot of exploring. But Killian was up for the challenge, and he was determined to finish the task - it helped to have a companion for this adventure, of course. He hadn’t really met anyone else that he could embark on a map-making journey with, and besides, once the intricate system of those green pipes was put onto paper it would make traveling around this realm quite a bit easier.
He was making progress on his boat too, but today was another day set for exploring - and when the giant dome that suddenly appeared was noticed, it was more than apparent that the bold pirate was set to go inside. Jefferson would grumble, no doubt, but nary a stone would be unturned when it came to learning about their surroundings - they didn’t have to stay, but it was helpful to know what was what. To know what exactly they were dealing with.
Armed with the usuals - his grotesque appendage where a hand should be, his brand new custom-made sword, and his trusty firearm - the trip into the dome was made. There was a fairy in a jar too, but given his history with fairies, he didn’t always trust them - he’d make the decision later about whether or not to free her; the jar remained tied to his belt. Right away, he could tell they were on an island, but it wasn’t your typical island. You know, blues upon blues and the hues of mango, guava, rose pink. Shrimps flailing in the water after a monsoon (tasty), and the sun dyeing everything in the vicinity gold at the break of dawn.
No, it was -
“It’s like some candy land,” Killian noted, because the sun looked like it had been drawn with crayons and so did the water rippling beneath them. The sky was salmon, and he could hardly begin to imagine what would happen next.
At this point the Hatter was convinced he was following Killian merely because it was better than sitting around in isolation. Safety, research, and maddening loneliness--or open air and danger. Though if Jefferson were honest, Killian was not at all that bad. Not that those words would ever be uttered openly.
“I’ve mentioned before how I’m certain you purposefully look for ways for us to die? We could be in an entirely different land now, and--” He was interrupted by a very loud voice echoing...what should have been nothing, seeing as the end of their new ‘world’ was hardly larger than a mile long. From the sky dropped two new beings. A very ugly looking little...carpenter? Plumber? Mechanic? And one of those dreadful Pokemon that Emma was obsessed with.
The voice boomed in their ears, “Killian and Jefferson, versus Luigi and Pikachu! 3….2...1…GO!”.
And like that the ugly beings charged for them, Jefferson’s first instincts were to turn and run but there was nothing but an edge, so he quickly ducked and narrowly avoided a hit from the...Luigi?
Trying to think quickly he opened his hat but...the door was closed. “Pirate...the only place to go is here..” “PIKACHU!” The yellow rodent shot a surge of electricity aimed at both of them, with the hat open Jefferson did all he could think of and push Killian and he inside, only to have them land on the upper platform, narrowly missing the electricity. Oh lovely. Now they were next to a jolly looking heart.
The hat looked to be..recharging? “What in gods is this?!”
Alright, this was a lot happening very quickly - Killian was a bit dizzy, but he at least knew he ought to kiss Jefferson for pushing him out of the way of what looked to be an actual ball of electricity. High voltage, either way.
Then again, he didn’t think the Hatter swung that way on most days - might have to get him drunk first. And if they ended up near death, liquor would be required regardless.
“I’d say that it builds character but I’m not quite sure what it is - thanks for the assist though, mate,” he huffed, attempting to get his footing on the platform - he didn’t have much space, and falling over the edge seemed to be a bad idea. “It’s literally a yellow blob.”
A deadly yellow blob, because it kept attacking. Perhaps, since electrical zzzaps were at play, it was best to use bullets - he didn’t want to use a steel blade. The squealing he heard meant he must have gotten a hit when he pulled the trigger, but oh, this fellow with the green overalls looked like he’d squish when sliced with a blade, no trouble there.
“Shall we work out a plan?” he asked, ducking and dodging. “They can’t kill you if they can’t catch you.” Perhaps Hatter ought to keep doing hat tricks; Hook was likely best at coming in from behind (no cracks from the peanut gallery).
“Not fall off the edge, but the hat can’t keep moving us. Apparently, we’re meant to fight. Maybe if we push—“ and just like that, the Luigi man had jumped to the adjacent platform and threw a fireball at them. Jefferson ducked, putting the hat back on his head and drawing the gun they’d procured for him from and shot back at the plumber, which seemed to do damage, but didn’t kill him. Yet.
A plan. Right. “We should try and take them out one at a time rather than split up. If we double team them we should be able to take them out faster. Pushing them off the edge may be easiest.” Or at least in theory. He kept unloading the clips into he plumber, which also seemed to push him farther. “Watch out for that damned Pokemon.”
“I know what a Pokemon is now, finally,” was Killian’s consolation - and trust him, he wasn’t exactly impressed. “Alright, one at a time then. I’ll take the damned Pokemon.” It was kind of adorable though, he almost hated to be plotting ways to slice it open and spill its guts.
The platforms weren’t exactly steady and it was difficult to move about without falling off - he came dangerously close to teetering on the edge, and hated to consider what was beneath. The endless abyss, no doubt. But perhaps if he could cut off the Pokemon’s legs, it would stopping hopping and flipping - it looked like it could just conjure electrical balls, so he had to distract it somehow. Because he’d run out of bullets eventually.
Gun back in its holster, he drew his sword and managed to work his way closer by using odd-looking trees to block hits, ducking behind when he could - the blade swiped at the Pokemon and sliced into it, and Killian went skittering backward, now dangling off the upper platform. “Stop this ride, I want to get off,” he groaned, and now to just - propel himself back up? Christ. “How’s it going over there with Mustache, mate?”
“Pirate! That’s not what I—-“ Meant. One at a time. Double team them. Together. Jefferson was now certain that Killian was more intrigued by the idea of fighting—something about adrenaline, than hearing all the words he’d said. Impossible, they were impossible.
The Pikachu let out a thunderbolt that was powerful enough to knock Jefferson off the platform, landing square on his back with pain he would not soon forget. Ugh. “Focus on the rat!” He spat, trying to clear his vision and locate Luigi as Pikachu charged towards Killian in hopes to take advantage of his peril, electricity streaming from his cheeks. The mustache man was hopping off the platform as the Hatter pushed himself back onto his feet, pulling the gun back out to shoot and stay from the edge. But as Luigi took damage, he continued forward before kicking Jefferson right off the platform.
He of course screamed all the way down, crashing into a nothing abyss that shattered into light before he was..brought back down to the top of the stage by a glowing platform? His name in the corner of his eye with three more heads underneath. The others had four. “Are you kidding me?”
Not what he meant, was it? Well, it would be quite difficult to take on one at a time, considering if two went against one, Killian highly doubted the other would just stand there while their teammate or whatever the fuck was being attacked. Though Jefferson wasn’t wrong - this pirate loved a good adrenaline rush that came along with a duel. He thrived on it, really.
But oh, this bloody blob - “Hatter, no! I will avenge you!” the Captain shouted, when his best mate in this whole realm (he really didn’t have any other mates, so that left Jefferson by process of elimination) when careening over the edge of the platform.
Snarling, he flung himself up and over and stabbed Pikachu in the gut, which the creature did not like. Only then Jefferson had been bunged up again. “Oh, you’re back,” he sounded relieved, but it was his turn to go falling then - after he’d stabbed the rat, it let a zap go on and rip, which rattled Killian’s skeleton, causing him to lose his grip. And his balance.
He too went over the edge of the platform; at least he relished in the fact that Pikachu had been sliced into like sashimi, and resembled raw rat. Before he knew it he was back as well, landing with an oompf. Sure enough, he now had one less head too. “I suppose we’ve got three more chances to win - let’s give it all we’ve got then, eh?”
Reluctant to get off of the platform until his saving grace of time was left, Jefferson merely glared at Killian. There were no words. None.
Yet since both the electric rat and the plumber were hurting and it was easy enough to fall off when you were damaged...perhaps there was something to that. “Let them come to us. Attack until they get to the ledge.” The saving grace was done, and the platform vanished, letting Hatter drop to the upper platform first. He aimed and shot at Luigi, who ‘ha-hoo’d’ his way up all the while taking more damage. Instead of backing up, Jefferson let the fool leap up and over him, ducking to dodge a fireball. Bum-rushing may have to be a thing. Firing and walking as the mustache’d man took damage upon damage, Jefferson waited until Luigi had backed off far enough to kick the asshole off of the platform this time.
There was something more satisfying about that than there should have been, but the electric rat was already coming up, so he opted to hop down onto the larger platform at the bottom, not wanting to be in the way of it’s electrical attacks.
Then remembering, he set his hat down to portal open the odd gift he’d received. The large blue shell. Looking up, he watched and waited for Killian to deal with the Pikachu for the first time. “Maybe this’ll do something when they come back?” At least kill one of them….hopefully.
Or maybe it was just a turtle shell with spikes on it.
The fucker with the overalls was almost as annoying as the fat rat - but Killian was still hacking and slashing at it, since it was weakened. He took advantage of its slowness, due to being injured, and swung the sword around again - the sturdy handle of it bashed the fucker on its squishy yellow head, and it too fell back and over the edge. Now it was his turn in the abyss.
Satisfying indeed. At least they knew the way this game worked now, and Killian really didn’t want to know what happened when all of their chances disappeared.
“It’s...well, I haven’t a clue what it is, but why not?” the pirate shrugged, taking a moment to wipe off his brow with his sleeve, mopping up sweat. These platforms, and all this hopping and bopping about to avoid death, everything was rather taxing. “Try tossing it at them?”
He was just going to hope that there wasn’t some elaborate ritual involved. But he doubted it - he was at least familiar enough with magical artifacts to know that sometimes the simplest method was the correct one.
Indeed. And so Jefferson waited until both the idiot combatants were charging at them again. “Draw your fire so you at least damage them on their way.” The Hatter wasn’t exactly a world record baseball thrower, but he did have experience tossing his hat. As the other team drew closer he waited until the most possible damage was done before tossing the turtle shell at them with all the force he had.
And apparently, that was more than enough, because it was a weapon, and it spun faster than the eye could see directly at the charging Pokemon, continuously spattering it with it’s spikes--Luigi caught in the crossfire directly behind it. It eventually spat so much damage it shot Pikachu into oblivion, shoving the plumber right off the edge with it.
Well then, he would never belittle a turtle shell again. “Any bright ideas for the last two lives? The hat has to cool for a moment it seems, but I think I can open a portal off the edge. We’ll have to take their next life ourselves while we wait..”
The competitors were already back on the platforms above them, blinking for a few moments, unable to take damage and ready for more.
“Now that is a turtle shell,” Killian chuckled breathlessly, impressed as he observed the onslaught this weapon caused. Where could he get one of those? Was there a store or something, or could he trade for one? “Aye, I think I’ve got an idea. Let’s see if we can corner them on the edge, together.”
In the moments that their enemies were vaulted back up onto the platform and blinking back to life, he’d opened the bottle which held the brightly glowing fairy inside - his goal was to cause a distraction or something, but apparently the fairy was so grateful for being granted the gift of freedom, in return she gave him a present.
It was a grenade. And in a flash, once he was sure the plumber and the fat rat were close enough together, Killian pulled the pin with his teeth and tossed that grenade with the hope for fireworks.
So perhaps this world wasn’t a complete waste after all. They had been lucky enough to receive the items at random….not that Jefferson would trust anything about anything at the moment, given their current predicament.
The explosion was enough to send the Pikachu off the edge once more, Luigi trying to grasp hold faintly. Jefferson held no pity in jamming the heel of his shoe into it’s hand, shooting at it all the while until it let go to it’s third death. “Alright, I have an idea. I’ll create a portal so far off the edge, they won’t be able to jump back.” Hopefully this little construct wouldn’t think it as ‘cheating’, though it did just let them decimate the creatures with items.
And two humans against unearthly beings was hardly a fair standstill.
Setting down his hat directly under the resurrection platforms, it turned and turned until the portal began to grow and build. “Stay beside the hat, but don’t jump in.” The Hatter instructed. “If they fall they’ll go over, if they want to get to us? They’ll have to jump.”
As far as cheating went, Killian gave no fucks - it was obvious that if he and Jefferson didn’t pull out all the stops, and employ every dirty trick in the book, they’d be flattened. And he wasn’t about to go down this way, thanks very much.
“Fair enough,” he said - in his view, using the hat to lure the two inhuman beasties (the plumber looked human, but what in the name of the gods was he, really) to their final deaths seemed like a good idea. The pirate was rapidly beginning to feel the effects of exhaustion, and if this didn’t work he’d have to pull from reserves of energy to finish the job.
It would work though.
“Over here, twats,” he called from the general vicinity of the hat, sword drawn, in attack mode. Once they flew over the edge, the portal would be waiting to claim them.
Like lemmings led to the water to drown, their opponents jumped, not knowing the pull of the portal that Jefferson and Killian stood beside. You had to jump after all. It didn’t take long.
The vortex of the hat sent them tumbling yards away from the main platform, swirled into dizziness. By the time they could compose themselves, begin to try to jump and zoom back to them, it was too late. Jefferson didn’t hesitate to shoot--especially at the unfairly fast Pikachu who seemed to have far too many jumping options, until they plummeted into their final life. The announcer shattering his exclamation of “GAME!” and just like that, what had been the blue dome dissipated, leaving the Hatter and the Pirate back on N’Sanity beach.
Jefferson let himself sit on one of the crates containing the fruit to compose himself, slamming his face into his hand. “Killian...why is it I almost die every time we meet?”
Wasn’t that delightful? Killian couldn’t help it, he grinned madly at the sweet smell of victory (it was lemony fresh, wasn’t it?). “It’s not every time, mate,” he replied cheerily, clapping Jefferson on the shoulder with his good hand. “Perhaps more than half? Regardless, we make a fantastic team. Drinks are on me.”
His humble abode was just up the way, and he had plenty of rum to share. Perhaps with any earnings from that battle they’d just won, he’d be able to open the tavern he was considering. This beach needed something seaside, where people could come to drink and live it up the pirate way.
It was something to consider. There would be earnings though, right?
Normally Jefferson preferred tea. He would definitely oblige in a drink this time--maybe after some water, at least to calm his nerves and relax a little. At the very least they deserved that.
He huffed at his Pirate friend, looking at him from the corner of his eyes before pushing up onto his feet to follow after him through the sand. Ick. He hated the sand. “Too many times, Killian.” But he was following all the same. And the Hatter too wondered if they would be granted something in return for not dying.
For now? He was happy about just not dying.