InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "tick tick tick tick tick."

Scottish Ghost Angel (sadboyband) wrote in thecityof,
@ 2017-11-24 20:50:00

Entry tags:

clary fray, george lovelace

WHO george and open
WHERE the roof
WHAT just spending some time alone
WHEN black friday
WARNINGS none?

The combat boots bounced off the side of the ledge as he sat there staring out at the city. This place was so different then the Academy, but somehow it managed to have the same drama. Sure, it wasn't a bunch of pureblood Nephilim looking down on others. It was a strange new type of drama. George wasn't even sure how to handle this world he had woken up in. Simon was helping him with his training and now his skin sported some of the runes that all Shadowhunters wore, but he didn't quite feel like one of them.

Part of that was his fault.

He reached out to the other Shadowhunters once or twice, but then had just kind of stopped. The fact they didn't know him still hurt. No one except Simon knew who George was. That and he saw the ticking time bomb all of them were. Not all of their fights were behind filters. They were at each other throats. Everything was just way too dramatic.

He sighed as he took a swig from his flask.

The only bright point in this new world, besides being alive, was the fact he had his brother. Si was the person who was keeping him anchored. He was positive if he tried he could make more friends or even get up the courage to ask Malia on a date. Yet, for some reason, he was just feeling overwhelmed. He was a Shadowhunter now and he was letting his sodding emotions win.

"Ironic," he muttered to himself. He had always cared too much. Looked at the bright side of everything. Now here he sat an actual warrior and all he wanted to do was be quitter again. Guess being a Lovelace just came naturally to him after all despite the fact he was adopted. George took another swig and let the whiskey burn his throat. He knew he should message Si, let him know he'd be home at some point, but he just kept his gaze on the city a while longer.

It was soothing to watch and pretend there weren't horrible things happening left and right.

George was still waiting for the moment he vanished for his challenge if he ever did. The month was almost over and he had yet to deal with whatever everyone else was. Maybe the angels just didn't care enough about him? That'd be a right laugh.

(Post a new comment)

keepscomingback
2017-11-25 11:21 pm UTC (link)

Clary was tired by the time she decided to head up to the roof for some quiet reflection. Izzy was both the best and the worst possible Black Friday shopping partner she could have picked. On one hand, she had a very hot new wardrobe that was the complete antithesis of her work wear. On the other, she was exhausted. They'd truly left no stone (store?) unturned and her feet were killing her.

Still, Peter was out for her blood and she wasn't really ready yet to deal with him. She'd been actively avoiding drama lately so having it brought to her doorstep didn't really work for her. Clary wasn't really afraid of him or anything, she just wasn't in the mood.

The roof had become one of her favorite places ever since she and Mark had driven out to the desert to see the stars unencumbered by the city lights. It had reminded her that there was still so much magic in the most ordinary of things and it helped her to feel small when she needed it. You couldn't see nearly as many as you could out in the desert but the height had its own appeal.

She smiled when she saw George. He was someone super close to Simon but she hadn't really spent much time with him and didn't know him well. Still, even from the future, he was part of her world--her real world--so something about him felt like home.

"They said this is where the Necromancy Survivors club was meeting." Clary joked, referring back to their conversation when she'd returned from her death match. He was one of the few people who hadn't jumped her shit then, or even at all, and it was something she hadn't forgotten.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

sadboyband
2017-11-25 11:38 pm UTC (link)

"We meet on Tuesday, Thursdays, and anaw days ending in Y," he said with an amused tone as he didn't turn to look at Clary. George knew her voice well enough to know how had walked out onto the roof with him. She wasn't exactly who had been expected to run into tonight, but she was far from unwelcomed company.

Clary had been have a wee bit of a rough time in LA and he had decided not to get overly involved. Everyone else was getting involved, she didn't need him throwing his two bits.

"Arite, Clary?" He finally shifted so his legs were now straddling the ledge. One of his booted feet was securely planted on the roof while his other leg dangled over the edge. He pressed a hand to the ledge as he watched the fiery Shadowhunter with mild interest.

The girl standing in front of him had survived through horrors and now she was fighting some new battle in LA. He had always been slightly envious of her since she was the one Si would pick every time. She was his boy's true parabatai after all. George was the namesake left behind in the end. Raziel, that was a thought to make him want to take another bevvy!

"I come out here to remind myself I'm alive," he said in a slightly serious tone. "The stars are still the same." He leaned back slightly so he could stare up at the dim stars. "Wee bit blotted out, but still up there. Makes me miss home. You could see it all so crystal clear from the Moors." His cheeks flushed as he flashed her a cheeky grin.

"Sorry aboot that. Don't mind me, luv. These meetings tend to get a bit deep."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

keepscomingback
2017-11-26 12:26 am UTC (link)

"Deep is good." Clary replied sincerely, having made her way over to the ledge. She was brave in a lot of ways but still somehow not quite brave enough to actually sit up on the ledge. She had been craving a sense of security lately and that seemed like the complete opposite. Instead, she stood next to him, her palms resting flat on either side of her body which leaned against the cool material.

"I've been trying to feel less of things lately but I think living on the surface is a much worse fate than what comes along with feeling too much." She murmured, her eyes leaving his to take in the glittering cityscape that lay out beneath them like a galaxy all its own.

"It's funny how this place can seem so much like home in some ways and then not at all in others." Clary mused. Los Angeles and New York City were two huge, populous, metropolitan areas and if you didn't know either skyline by heart, you could probably get them mixed up. But George hadn't been from an Institute, he had been from the Academy which made Idris his home for all intents and purposes. And having just been back to Idris a week ago, it was fresh in her mind just how much of an alien world this must be. Of course the Moors meant Scotland, which was his real home. Some nights, she could almost forget that this wasn't New York which cut down on some aspects of her homesickness. She doubted he could say the same.

"You should drive out to the desert sometime." She added, glancing back over at him. "Mark and I went out there to stargaze and it was..." Clary took a deep breath, releasing it with a small sigh and a smile. "Incredible. There were shooting stars, like these tiny streaks of lightning. And there were these falling stars too, kind of like the sky was raining glitter just in one small spot."

"Life gets so overwhelming sometimes. The infinite nature of space makes me feel small, like a big, weighted blanket or a hug from someone who's just so much bigger than you."

It probably sounded crazy but then again, most people these days thought she was anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sadboyband
2017-11-26 04:13 pm UTC (link)

George raised an eyebrow at her before merely nodding. Aye, living on the surface and trying to forget did tend to leave a hollow feeling inside. He had always felt strongly, always tried to do right, and now there was this faint unease somewhere inside of him. Was that what it was to be a Nephilim? He still cared, but now he wondered if he could actually do what he was meant to do. Most Shadowhunters dealt with Downworlders without a second thought. He didn't want to do that.

Everyone deserved to be heard.

"It's all bonkers to me," he remarked as he shifted his gaze back to the city. "Loud, so many people, and everyone just seems in a hurry to get nowhere."

He was used to the calm of his parent's farm. He also missed the poor, rundown Academy with its questionable food. Some of his best memories were there, as were some of his worst. There were many nights he woke up screaming as he felt the Mortal Cup killing him. Each agonizing second of the fire inside of his body trying to destroy everything he was. Those nights Si always rushed into his room and just held him. They didn't talk about it, but wasn't that how it always was? They were just there for each other. He had been there for Si when his memories had started to come back in bits and pieces and now his brother was there for him through the nightmares.

"You are taking this deep thing seriously," he said in a teasing tone before holding the flask out to her. "Want a smidge?"

George got what she was saying though. They were just stardust in this entire universe. The angels, or whatever they were here, were just messing with them. He would take it though, every painful and confusing moment of it, because it meant he was alive just a while longer.

"When I was a wee lad I used to go hide in the sheep's pastures. Layout in the tall grass and just watch the sky pass me by, dream of this great big adventure out there. I knew there was something more, ye know? I just didn't think the adventure would be like this. Now I'm stuck trying to figure out who I am because the bloke I was before I drank from the Mortal Cup just doesn't seem to line up anymore. If that makes sense..."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

keepscomingback
2017-11-26 07:26 pm UTC (link)

Clary laughed sheepishly, catching the flask easily. She hesitated for a minute, having avoided drinking at all lately. It was way too easy to fall into a trap of drinking too much to dull the pain or justify bad choices or just mentally check out from the world. Plus, drinking and a rooftop ledge seemed like a recipe for disaster. But probably not nearly as bad of an idea as doing shots with a vampire when you were just looking for another tragedy.

She raised the flask in motion of cheers and took a sip, crinkling her nose as the straight liquor hit her tongue. It burned all the way down which was enough of an incentive to not go overboard. But it did also make her feel kind of warm inside which was nice.

"Why did you do it?" Clary asked curiously, eying him with interest. "Drink from the Mortal Cup?" It was kind of odd to her that Shadowhunters could sometimes just be...created. She knew that was how it all began but for as long as she'd been alive, her mother had had the Cup hidden away to prevent Valentine from creating his own army or using it to raise Raziel. And of course, she knew now that Simon was one as well somehow, coming in from the future. And that made sense. Even when he was just the scrawny, seemingly nerdy Jewish kid that girls seemed to look right past, Simon had always had the heart of a lion. He was perfect Shadowhunter material and she was proud of him in any world.

She tried to imagine a world in which she wasn't born with angel blood and it had been offered to her as a choice instead. Would she have taken it? Would she have wanted this life for herself if it hadn't been fated for her? Clary honestly couldn't answer that. She wanted to believe that she'd be selfless enough but the part of her that still longed to be a normal girl again wasn't quite so sure.

"It's definitely difficult to marry that world with this one." She admitted.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sadboyband
2017-11-26 07:43 pm UTC (link)

The question gave him pause. No one had ever asked him why he had lifted the Mortal Cup to his lips before. George still remembered every second of that ceremony. Watching Simon and the rest of his friends drink, each of them Ascending into the warriors they had trained to be. He had picked up the cup and laughed. God, he felt like a fool now. He had been the perfect student, excelling in all of his classes.

George had seemed like the perfect candidate to be a Shadowhunter, but the Angels had decided it wasn't to be. It won't hurt if you fail. You just stop existing. That had been a crock of shit. George had gone out of the world screaming in pure agony.

"I wanted to help," he finally said softly as he tapped his fingers on the ledge. The coarseness of the stone felt comforting against his skin. "I'm adopted, funny thing. The Lovelaces are the real Nephilim, but they ran away. They quit being Shadowhunters way back in the day, Clary. Decided to steal sheep and eventually raise em legit style. Fast forward to the Academy reopening. They came recruiting and never once thought ex-Shadowhunters would adopt a mundane." He traced runes with his fingers on the ledge, each one from memory.

"The prejudice is intense. Shadowhunters look at Downworlders as lesser people. They even turn their noses up at the mundanes, the people they are supposed to protect. You can't tell me you haven't seen it?" He glanced up at her finally, letting his fingers still in their motions.

"I want to be part of the solution. I wanted to help and I wanted to do it by Si's side. I saw the after the effects of the war. I heard the whispers of hate muttered between those of pureblood. I watched as they paraded Helen in front of our class so she could tell us how she was lesser than us because she was part Seelie. I saw how they treated Magnus, Alec, and anyone that didn't fit the mold. And somehow, I wanted to be a part of that world because I thought I could make a bloody difference."

He hadn't meant to rant or to let his accent grow thicker with annoyance. George just felt too strongly as always.

"Sorry, dinnae mean to unload on you. I just...I wanted to matter and instead, I was tossed aside. Not even buried a Shadowhunter after putting in years at the Academy."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

keepscomingback
2017-11-26 09:02 pm UTC (link)

He didn't have to tell her about the prejudices among the Shadowhunters. So much of her recent memory was filled with that struggle, balancing the Clave's rigid attitude toward the Downworlders with the Downworld's mistrust of the Clave. The situation had been somewhat helped by the relationship between Alec and Magnus but it was tenuous at best. She remembered Simon being locked up for refusing to leave her side just because he was a vampire. Even though, at the time, he was also her boyfriend and even without that, there was never a question as to where his loyalties were. They were with Clary, always.

And all this time, she'd been of pure blood and never really knew it let alone understood the significance. Because it didn't matter to her. Her words to Kai weren't empty. She saw the world in a million shades of gray and she didn't feel like she was better than anyone. And she definitely didn't share her father's bloodlust against the entire Downworld.

George's mention of his burial hit her like a splash of cold water and she froze up for a minute. She was speechless. At his death, at the way he was treated, all of it. Clary thought of yet again how she'd thrown herself into that portal, trying to find a way to get them all home without even asking if that's what people wanted. It was only after the fact that she discovered that more people wanted to stay than wanted to return home. She seemed to be among the minority that were better off back in their own worlds. For a lot of people, this kidnapping was actually a salvation of sorts. Which maybe made their kidnappers angels after all.

"I'm so sorry." Clary said softly, her right hand reaching up to her throat as her fingertips idly traced the outline of the bones that shaped the small hollow there. "I..." Am incredibly selfish, she thought. All of this crying over my boyfriend when people here have had real tragedies. And to be fair, Clary had her fair share of those too. But Jace being alive and in love with someone else wasn't one of them.

I need this to matter.
I wanted to matter.

They were all desperately reaching out for the same thing in different ways and it saddened her to think how much they all seemed to need something that most people were automatically endowed with in childhood. It drove home for her just how lonely being a Shadowhunter ultimately was, even when your bed was kept warm. Just a little moreso when it was cold and empty, like hers.

"You can unload on me anytime." She said seriously, looking up at his face. "And, for what it's worth, it's pretty clear that you matter to Simon and if you matter to him, you can't really do any better than that." But Clary knew there was only so much consolation in being loved by someone. George had wanted to make a difference in a broken world but instead, the world had broken him. Nothing could really touch the pain of falling short when you'd put everything you'd had into something.

"And hey, you can make a difference here." Clary suggested. "There's still a lot of wars within different groups here, a lot of distrust and unrest. Maybe both of us can find a way to make it count here."

(Reply to this) (Parent)