Kai Parker (feelingsarehard) wrote in thecityof, @ 2018-01-06 09:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | bonnie bennett, kai parker |
Who: Bonnie & Kai
What: Letting go of the hate
When: Backdated to before he went soulless
Where: Panpipes
Warnings: GASP, none
Status: Complete
Everything was set into place. Bonnie had everything she needed for the elixir. All it would take now was a little Bennett and Mikaelson magic and the elixir for immortality would be complete. Of course Bonnie already added to it the failsafe, spelling her blood that would transmute and apply the doppelganger line spell on Amara, who would then have to rely on keeping her immortality and life as long as Elena and Katherine stayed alive. The only bad part about the spell was that she couldn’t skip over a generation. Katherine was a doppelganger and becoming a vampire didn’t change that. Bonnie spent most of her afternoons at Panpipes. It was a place where she allowed witches and other magic users to come in to buy supplies or to even practice magic freely without someone condemning them for it. It was this place that the elixir would be completed but Bonnie wanted to make sure she kept herself energized and ready for Friday. As soon as it was all complete she would deliver it to Silas. Of course Bonnie was only going to reveal what she did only after Amara took it. When Bonnie heard the chime for the store’s front door opening and closing she thought it was just another customer. It was late and everyone was already gone. Bonnie was just finishing up a few things, her eyes on the clock, realizing it was already after closing. “We’re closed….” Bonnie trailed off, her lips thinning when she saw that hideous smirk. Oh, great. Bonnie didn’t have time for this, her eyes on Kai Parker who was standing at the entrance. Of course Bonnie had kept her distance since their last encounter. What was the point? Bonnie had threatened him with the ascendant and ever since then Kai had his leash on. “It’s funny. I don’t think I asked you to come see me.” Bonnie couldn’t help the smile, the small tilt of her head as she regarded the siphoner turned heretic. The last time he had seen Bonnie was the night that he had come home to find her waiting for him. That had been awhile ago. A lot had happened since then. For one, Kai had folded like the good little boy that he wasn’t. Bonnie had what she needed in order to send him away, so what else could he do? He had kept to himself. Stuck to his work. Checked in on Claire every once in awhile and had even cut ties with the crazy redhead. Okay, so that wasn’t exactly true. He had tried to cut ties with her but even after biting her she had managed to bring him back to her by talking shit. Because he refused to let her in and fall for her Clary was trying to make everyone believe that he was a monster too. She wanted to take the kid away from him too. Mo was new. She was rooming with Kai and Kol and he decided to look out for her. Sure, she was just as crazy as Kai but Kai was changing little by little. He might have even been good for the kid, but Clary couldn’t let it go and so they brawled it out in the complex lobby. Now that was the last time he had really gotten into trouble. Had to count for something. Besides if he had killed Clary he doubted anyone would have really minded anyway. Maybe he was growing? Or maybe he was just bored but Kai found himself at the neat little magic shop that Bonnie ran now. He pushed open the door and shoved his hands into his pockets as he eyed Bonnie from across the shop. That little smirk of his couldn’t be helped and he slowly shook his head at her words. “Maybe you didn’t ask, but I could feel you thinking about me.” He gave her a cheeky little wink and moved around to check out the place. This was his first time there and he’d have been lying if he said he wasn’t curious about it. “What are you working on? Your nifty little plan to leash Silas next?” He arched a brow in her direction. Oh, he knew her. He didn’t even have to be around her to know her. Bonnie always had something up her sleeve. But he wasn’t here to fight. This was a friendly visit on his part. Because Bonnie had the ascendant there was nothing really to fear when it came to Kai. Okay. Maybe there was some things to be worried about because Bonnie didn’t even know if the ascendant would work or not. Would the angels even allow it? She didn’t think that they would allow such a powerful thing to exist in their world even though it was just meant for one person. Bonnie was using it as a leash, to keep Kai out of trouble or at least away from her friends. “Thinking about all the ways I could kill you, maybe,” Bonnie replied, her attitude as plain as ever as she regarded him for a moment, not exactly sure what he wanted other than to annoy her. She didn’t have the ascendant with her but that didn’t exactly mean anything. Bonnie already knew that Kai wouldn’t touch her, at least not in Panpipes of all places. Then again, a place that had magical items was probably dangerous given how Kai could easily drain the place for a nice little powerup. “As a matter of fact I am.” And it was nearly done, too. Bonnie didn’t really need anything else other than Freya’s help when it came to the spell because Bonnie couldn’t do that alone. She was powerful in her own right but a spell of that magnitude required the energy that Qetsiyah had at her peak and Bonnie was nowhere near that kind of power. “Not that it matters. I’m sure once I deal with Silas someone else will just come along and ruin my life.” Bonnie knew that she could count all of her enemies on both hands and Los Angeles seemed to have a track record at bringing them to kill her friends. Whether it was here or Mystic Falls there was always something happening. “So you were thinking about me.” There was mock amusement playing on Kai’s face and he gave her a look before he reached for one of the books that actually seemed interesting to him. He flipped it open and glanced over a few pages. This place absolutely pulsed magic and it gave Kai a high just being inside of it. No, he wasn’t exactly addicted to the feeling of magic anymore but when he siphoned he still got that rush he longed to feel. Of course he hadn’t siphoned in awhile. Not from anyone, so he had the urge when it came to being in a powerful place like this. He knew he could siphon from here and have that power for days. But he also knew that would just bring himself trouble ane Bonnie would try to slap his nose for being a bad boy. “You know,” He tossed the book back where he got it and moved over to the counter to lean against it while he looked her over. “I’m kind of surprised you haven’t asked for my help yet.” Kai was mega powerful after all. He wasn’t exactly an enemy of Silas’ so he could have gotten close to the immortal by now and Amara seemed to like him because he flirted with her. But he could have shared his power with BonBon. Probably only with her. “You ever get tired?” He arched a brow at her. The amusement was drained from his face as he cocked his head and eyed her seriously. “Being the hero. It’s gotta be exhausting. Everyone always coming to you for the solution. When do you get to live?” Kai didn’t really think it was fair. Everyone else’s problems constantly falling in her lap to fix. Someone always needing something magically fixed. The first person Silas would come after if this went south was Bonnie too. Didn’t that matter to anyone else? “Don’t give me the whole speech about this is what you do because you care. Even Bonnie Bennett has her limits somewhere.” “Yes, because I’m sure your help was the first thing that came to mind when it came to saving my friends. If I wanted to butcher them maybe I would have asked for your advice.” Yes, Bonnie was being a little bit of a bitch but what else was new? She even smirked at Kai, surprised and catching herself, not wanting to show any sense of glee while he was around because she hated him. Bonnie knew that she would always despise Kai despite his changed temperament. When Kai asked if she ever got tired it pluck at something inside of her. She eyed him, his words actually gaining a footing because it was pretty much the truth. She was tired. Bonnie hated being the one who had to constantly save her friends. If something went wrong because of their egos or their mistakes it was always Bonnie who had to perform a spell or save them with magic. “I hate it,” she said, being honest because she didn’t have to lie to Kai. “It’s hard being the one that everyone goes to. For a long time I did it because I thought I had to. Who else was going to save them? I loved my friends. I loved certain people I was with but...all the time. I was the solution for their problems.” And this was the same thing. Bonnie was the solution to Silas’ problems but she couldn’t blame her friends for that one. All Bonnie could do was blame Silas which is why she was punishing Amara. Kai had to shrug at that. It was true. The Mystic Falls gang could have burned and Kai wouldn’t have had a care in the world about it. Everyone was so wrapped up in their own little lives until shit was crumbling down around them and Kai couldn’t remember what was so great about them. Oh, right. She was standing right in front of him now. Bonnie had been the only thing that kept him tied to the others. And now there was Liv. Maybe Lizzie and Josie but he hadn’t made a step towards his nieces because he knew that was pointless and one sure way to start a war that he didn’t think was worth it. This place made things complicated. Kai wanted change and knew he needed it but he knew what battles to pick to make count. “Come on, Bon.” He grinned as he met her gaze. “You know I’m all about helping when it comes to you.” That little smirk of hers didn’t go unnoticed and Kai studied her pretty face. She could hate him all she wanted but even she knew he was changing. Kai tapped his knuckles on the counter and slowly shook his head. “You know you can take a break here from all that.” He wasn’t teasing and for the first time in forever Kai was actually having a serious conversation with her. “You’re not the only powerful witch in Los Angeles. They don’t always have to rush to you. You got the Mikaelson witch.” Plus Kol who was a witch now. “You got the twins. Who are like mega powerful if they get trained right.” He had felt Lizzie’s power the night he went after Harry so he knew. “Liv. Countless others are around here too. Why do you always have to be the one who saves them?” Because she was expected to. That’s why. “I just think you deserve more.” Bonnie almost lost herself for a second there. For a split second it was almost like...they could have a basic conversation. For a moment Bonnie forgot about the prison world. She forgot about the way Kai had made her feel before, the torment and the isolation, it had vanished and the only way to bring it back was to remember it, to feel that pain but Kai, Bonnie realized that he wasn’t embodying any of that anymore. Kai’s sinister gaze. His egomaniac personality. It was what Bonnie was used to. It was what fueled her to hate him and curse him but it was like Kai was a completely different person. It was frightening. She had vowed that he wouldn’t change, that deep down Kai would be the same man, the killer in the darkness, the plague of his family and the horrible things that he did to his kid siblings. It was traumatic but of course everyone had their traumatic stories. Everyone killed and the people that she was closest to, their death toll was higher, if not more brutal than Kai’s. Bonnie remembered her conversation with Elena and how she had confessed that deep down she took pleasure in what she was doing. Bonnie couldn’t get away from it because she didn’t want to. She just wanted to be around to remind Kai that he was a monster because in some ways that made her feel better about her screwed up life. “You know, I think you deserve more, too.” It was a bit shell shocking, Bonnie lifted her gaze slowly so that she could meet his, swallowing a bit as she wondered if she could take back her words. Bonnie shook his head, knowing that maybe she had overstepped but at the same time she knew that it was right. It was the right thing to say. “You’re trying. You’re doing things you haven’t done before and you’ve stayed away from my friends. You...deserve a life here. You deserve to try and be happy in this godforsaken place with whoever you want to be happy with. I don’t want to be that person who reminds you that you’re worthless or that you’re nothing.” Bonnie just wanted to let that go. She wanted...to not hold on to her hate anymore. For a moment it felt like the entire world went silent for the first time in a very long time and all Kai could focus on was Bonnie’s voice. On the words she spoke and how she said each of them. She had seemingly done the impossible because there were no words that came to mind for him. She had actually shut Kai Parker up. Not with torture or magic. Just with a few simple words that he believed he would never hear from her. Kai wasn’t sure what he expected when he walked into the magic shop. He knew there would be snark. He knew there would be attitude and he knew that she would eventually kick him out. But this? No, this sure as hell wasn’t expected and Kai had to narrow his eyes. Was he getting Punk’d? Was this some trick she was using against him? Why was she all of a sudden being nice? Kai didn’t know how the fuck to take it. Seriously, he was so fucking lost right now. He remembered the night at the rave. When all he wanted was to tell her how sorry he was and make her believe him. He wanted her forgiveness because what he had done to her had literally torn him apart inside. Part of Kai still felt that guilt every day. He felt all of it. For everyone he had hurt and betrayed and fucked over. There was always some stupid part of himself that tried to find some kind of justification for what he did. But he honestly knew better. He deserved to be stabbed and left in that 1903 prison world. He deserved to have Bonnie hate him. But he was trying. He cared about things here. Cared about people. Protected them. Tried to make smarter decisions. He kept his word and was making a life for himself. There was just something about Bonnie noticing that made it more real. “Wow,” he finally said, blinking a few times as he let the silence grow between them. “Never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth.” He said honestly. He frowned because he didn’t really know what this meant. “So, what does this mean? Like, truce?” Friends? Did she forgive him? Was this whole war between them over? “It means I won’t send your ass to another prison world, at least not anytime soon. I won’t hold it over your head.” And maybe one day Bonnie would even destroy it for Kai’s sake but that day wasn’t going to be today. Baby steps. Bonnie was still reeling from this, from actually saying the words she thought would never come but they did and now she was staring at Kai, wondering what he was going to do next, what sort of life he was going to commit to. The thing about Los Angeles was that so much happened. They were all tied together and would be until the angels decided to release them. “I don’t want to hate you for the rest of my life. I’m not letting go for just you, I’m letting go for me, too.” Because maybe then Bonnie could move on with her life here, maybe then she could do the things she wanted to do for once. Bonnie just wanted time with Enzo. She wanted to figure out a way to save him in case something did happen to them, in case something happened to all of them because the future was so bleak and Bonnie knew that in the end she would lose everything. “Back home I lose everything. Enzo dies. I don’t get to have the life I wanted and I know you don’t get to have the life you wanted given that I stick you in a prison world there, too. For once I want to try out this whole second chance thing. I figured if I could have one then so can you.” Because then maybe Kai would actually get to feel something else other than the pain of his family, the resentment people had for him, for the things he did. Bonnie felt her eyes linger on the heretic, realizing that she had confessed something that she hadn’t even confessed to her best friends. It was another firsts but for some reason Bonnie was content with that. Bonnie wasn’t the only one who was reeling from what she was saying. All Kai could do was literally stare at her as each word left her lips and he slowly shook his head as he tried to process it all. This was really happening. They had finally grown to a stage where they didn’t have to constantly go at one another. They could learn to just coexist in this place like normal people. The hate was something that wore both of them down. It took a lot to hate someone as much as Bonnie hated Kai and Kai knew that she deserved to be free from that. To experience the life that was given to her here. No, it wasn’t perfect. It was fucking far from it. But they had all lost so fucking much back home and this was their second chance to redo it all. Kai could get passed his own obsession to let that happen for the both of them. He knew he could. The heretic found himself frowning and then his eyes were back on her. “I know I haven’t made things easy since I got here. Back home before, all that, I really wanted to change and I thought I could.” He cocked his head as he started to walk around the room again. A comfort thing for him. Keep moving. Don’t focus. “When I got here I fell back into this pattern because it’s all I knew. It’s what everyone expected. Cami says I do it just because it’s easier being the monster instead of disappointing everyone else, including myself, when I fail at change.” He licked his lips and sighed. “I don’t want to be that guy. The one everyone hates and is constantly afraid of. Not entirely anyway.” He gave her that familiar smirk of his and moved till he was behind the counter with her. “I know your friends hate me and they won’t understand you doing this, letting go of the hate and the destructiveness of it all. But…” he was serious again. “Thank you.” Because that had been something that Kai wanted for awhile now. This thing between them to calm enough to where he could look at Bonnie and not have her want to kill him. This was the beginning of something new and before Kai could stop himself his arms went around Bonnie and he pulled her against him, his lips brushing her hair. “For the record, I fully approve of you destroying the ascendant.” he teased, making the moment less awkward. No, they wouldn’t understand. Bonnie felt that they would probably judge her a bit for even remotely thinking that she could let Kai off the hook but the truth was, ever since she arrived, Bonnie had been the constant reminder, telling the heretic how worthless he was, how easily Bonnie just wanted Kai to suffer and die for the monster he was. Bonnie didn’t want to feel that way anymore. If anything, she wanted to move on from this part of her life, to just let Kai. She was surprised that he hugged her. Bonnie tensed for good reason and of course she didn’t hug him back. Bonnie wasn’t ready for that kind of feeling, to bring her arms around Kai because deep down she still felt off about it all but the least she could do was nod, understanding where he was coming from when he did pull back and her eyes looked up at him. “Then I guess you should go - go and don’t be that guy.” Bonnie did smile, her chin tilting to the store’s door. Bonnie didn’t know when she would see Kai again after this but...it wouldn’t be with malice. She wouldn’t see Kai again and automatically hate him. “And maybe one day I’ll give you the ascendant,” she said, saying this to him before he could fully leave the store. It was Bonnie’s way of saying that she needed to trust him first, to actually gain enough confidence in Kai’s changed ways to hand over the only thing that could ruin him forever. Kai was already moving around the counter to head for the door as she spoke. The last thing he needed was for his mouth to screw shit up. Yes, he was completely surprised by the fact that their conversation had actually taken a turn this way but Kai also felt like a weight had been lifted off of him. It was strange. To feel this way. To not look at Bonnie and want to completely rip her world apart. Maybe this could work. Maybe somewhere down the line things could be different for them. He wouldn't call her up tomorrow and ask her to come over for game night or invite her to lunch, but this. This non-hatred thing between them was something that would be good for the both of them. The hate she had for him was weighing her down. A constant burden brought onto herself because she couldn't get over the past. Kai knew first hand that if they both didn't let it go it would destroy them. She had her own life here. One that gave her Enzo. One that gave her all of her friends. Who was he to take that away from her? Sure, some part of him would always be a little obsessed about all the ones from Mystic Falls but he wanted his own life here without someone controlling his every move. He turned and walked backwards as he eyed Bonnie with a grin. "One day, huh?" Sooner than later. Kai wouldn't exactly be fully at ease until that happened. "Stay out of trouble, Bonnie Bennett." He gave her a look that was followed by his signature wink when it came to her before he was out the door and disappearing into the night. |