The confirmation felt like an arrow to the heart. It felt like dying.
She took the letter from Mattew and pressed it to her heart. Then she threw her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. He wouldn’t lie to her, she knew that. Not that she thought Conlan had. It was a fool’s hope, a moment of childish fear and desperate begging against an inevitable fall. Now that she knew, without a doubt, without a possible, hopeful doubt that Faer was dead, she fell apart. She couldn’t find the strength to do anything but press close to Matt and cry.
She hadn’t loved him but she could have. There were two people in Lalin’s life that she had felt an instant connection with and had instant affection for. One of them was her best friend and heartsister. The girls had been with each other since their very early years and Lalin could not imagine a life without Az in it. They were a part of each other and there was absolutely nothing that could tear them apart. She loved Azabeth with a fierceness that was never ending and limitless and it had all started with an instant connection, an instant meeting of friends.
She had felt the same thing with Faer, had known that given time she would love him deeply and without end. But they hadn’t been given the chance, they had barely met when there were being torn apart again. And now this. She had lost him before he was really hers to lose. It wasn’t fair.