Lalin's heart stopped. She blinked at Conlan. She shook her head. Tiny movements that couldn't betray even the smallest of details of what she was feeling. It was impossible to express. She reached out a hand to tug lightly at the paper, as though she would be able to look at it and tell that he was right. As though she would suddenly be able to read the words that were drumming on her heart. "Conlan," she said, trying to laugh. She hardly noticed that Matt had come up behind her and was trying to give her comfort. "Conlan. That's not what it says. Did you read it wrong?" The teasing in her voice came out as a pained gasp, instead. Her own body was trying to tell her what her mind refused to accept. Her hand darted forward to tangled in his sleeve. "Con," she said, begging. "Please. That's not what it says."
The last time someone close to her had died, she had lost her grandmother. Lalin had been deathly ill at the time and by the time she made it back into the city, Denerim was trying to rebuild and she found herself an orphan on the street. There had been little time to mourn. Lalin had, from an early age, not allowed tragedy to touch her. The abandonment of her mother, the death of her grandmother, Gavin's carelessness and her own love for him were all things that had been shoved down. They were not allowed to truly touch her. But none of these things had hit as hard as Conlan's words. Never before had she been tested with the death of a loved one in such a way, as an adult and fully able to experience and understand the grief that came with such news. Lalin suddenly feared she was not as untouchable as she had once believed. "Conlan," she said again, tears starting to choke her.
Her knees buckled, but both men were there to keep her steady. Lalin seemed to suddenly realize who was standing next to her. She jerked the paper out of Conlan's hand and pushed it at Matthew. "Matt tell me. Tell me it's wrong. Tell me, please." It didn't occur to her that Matt really didn't know who Faer was to her. She never had a chance to introduce them. Her whole body shook with fear and grief. She didn't truly believe that Matthew would tell her Conlan had read it wrong but... Of all the people in her life, Matt was the one who had taken her in his arms, had been a father to her when she desperately needed it. Surely, of all the people in all of Thedas, he could make this right.