Thalia Grace (wasatree) wrote in thearenas, @ 2014-04-14 21:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | ⊗ luke castellan, ⊗ thalia grace |
WHO: Thalia Grace and Luke Castellan
WHERE: Their house
WHEN: Apr 13
WHAT: Awkward conversation
RATING: PG
STATUS: log; complete
While Thalia had been brought to the island with no cooking skills aside from the ability to roast rabbit over an open campfire, she’d come to learn how to make some simple meals. After helping Violet out in the kitchen for a year, she’d picked up a few things. At the moment, she was making soup and baking chicken and potatoes. It was a simple, foolproof meal that she’d gotten comfortable with. Violet was at work and would be hungry and tired when she got home, so Thalia had taken it upon herself to be the cook on those occasions. After peeling the last potato, she hesitated, then picked up another one to peel. Luke had been quiet and barely seen ever since he’d arrived, and Thalia had been giving him his space. But it wouldn’t hurt to make enough food for him as well, in case he felt like eating with them. *** There had been a lot for Luke to adjust to since he arrived in this place, and he’d been spending a lot of time on his own, exploring, getting to know the place where he’d arrived. As well as trying to get in touch with some of the thoughts in his own mind, which were, for the most part, incredibly unpleasant. But when he smelled cooking downstairs, he couldn’t help but come downstairs. It was something more basic than any of his emotional trauma that pulled him from his room - his stomach. And he was surprised to see Thalia downstairs, cooking. His eyes widened, blinking. “Thalia? What are you doing?” *** Thalia glanced up, her hands stilling when she saw him. He still looked worn and sad, and her heart ached to see him that way. She just didn't think she could help him other than to give him space to sort things out right now, no matter how difficult it was to do so. It was good to see him out of his room, though, and she gave him a small smile. "Making dinner. You hungry?" *** “Yeah, of course I am,” he said with a smile, very slightly impish. It wasn’t his fully son-of-Hermes smile, but there was a shadow of it there. Definitely more than he’d given her since he arrived here last week. “I didn’t know you could cook. Color me surprised.” *** Thalia smiled back, the heaviness in her heart lightening to see that smile. It wasn't a fully happy one, but at least it wasn't the shell-shocked, miserable look he'd had for the past week. "As I said, I've been here for a year," she told him, resuming her peeling. "If that doesn't convince you I've been here that long, nothing will, huh?" *** “Well, that’s definitely a step in the right direction, that’s for sure.” He laughed. He was surprised to see her cooking. It wasn’t something she usually did, which showed in a second that something had changed. “I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet,” he said softly, sitting on a stool and watching her. “It...hasn’t been easy.” *** Back when they were kids, when they dreamt about the kind of lives they would have if they weren't on the run from monsters, there had always been a cozy little house involved. Back then, they'd used to say that Luke would be the cook of the family, because he was the best at cooking out of the three of them. How things had changed. It was nice to have Luke here, though, even though it was actually Violet's house and he had no idea that she'd forsaken her oath for him. "Yeah, I imagine it wouldn't be," she agreed, glancing up at him as she spoke. "It was pretty recent for you, huh? Manhattan?" *** “Yeah,” he said. “Just a few days. I hadn’t really even had time to settle into Elysium...although I”m not sure if time really passes the same in the Underworld as it does here.” For all he knew, he’d been there for years. “So yeah, all that going on, plus showing up here...I’m sorry if I haven’t been...you know, real talkative. I’ve had a lot of stuff to work out. And I don’t know if I ever will.” He shook his head. It was so overwhelming, the things he’d done, and he carried so much shame inside of him because of it. How could he ever get over something like what he’d done? *** "The last time you were here, you'd been in Elysium for a while," Thalia said, keeping an eye on the potatoes so she wouldn't skin herself. It helped, too, not to look at him when she said that. It would've reminded her too much of that brief month of happiness she'd had with him before he'd been taken away. "Anyway, you'd worked it out by then. So if it's any consolation, know that you did once already. Probably a good thing you had that last time. I wasn't really happy to see you at first." *** “Yeah,” he said vaguely. “Probably.” Although having her excited to see him had been disorienting enough. Really disorienting. It had confused him more than he already had been and had made him think that there was something really wrong with this place. After all, of all people who should hate him, Thalia should be about first in line. “What changed?” He asked. He was pretty sure his past hadn’t suddenly been erased, or changed to make him into an amazing and wonderful person. *** Thalia shrugged, switching her peeler to a knife to slice up the potatoes now. “Like I said, time. But I think the thing that really started switching me over was this one arena where we happened to be on the same team, and you took some bullets for me.” Her voice grew quiet; she still remembered the fear and guilt she’d felt as she watched Luke fall in front of her, his face going slack. “That was the same time some of the other gladiators staged a breakout attempt, so the aliens shut down the arena and punted everyone back to their rooms. Except you. I couldn’t find you, and I had no idea whether you were still alive, or if they’d bothered to heal you, and I realized then that no matter how mad I was at you, no matter what you’d done, I still cared about you.” *** “You shouldn’t,” he said bluntly. He still cared about her, of course he did. But that was different. She deserved love and affection, he didn’t. Not after what he’d done. Not after all the people he’d hurt. He shook his head and looked down for a moment. “I’m sorry I - can’t be who you remember me being,” he said with a sigh. “There’s just...so much to deal with right now.” And apparently he was disappointing her all over again. *** "Well, tough, 'cause I do," Thalia said, undeterred. "Because of there's one thing I've learned from being here, is that you have to do what you can, as long as you can, because the people you love could disappear at any time. You know Annabeth was here? But then they took her away. And Violet had both her brother and mother here at different times, and they went away too. So I could spend what time you have here resenting stuff you did in the past, or I can just be happy that I have you here. So if you want to take time to deal with things, that's fine. Just know that you don't have to do it alone." *** Luke didn’t know how to deal with this, he really didn’t. He could have dealt with her anger; he’d expected it. But kindness was harder - it took the wind out of his sails and made him feel...vulnerable. And he didn’t really like that. But on the other hand, it felt really...well…good for someone to have faith in him like that. “Thanks,” he said. “And I am trying. To understand everything that’s happened, how I got here...to come to terms with what I did without hating myself for it. But it’s not easy.” *** "I don't think it can ever be easy," Thalia said quietly. With the potatoes sliced, she put them in the casserole dish and poured the sauce over it, then stuck that and the chicken in the oven. With those distractions taken care of, she wiped her hands and turned to give Luke her full attention. "The last time you were here, you'd been in Elysium longer so you'd already had it figured out. But you did tell me how hard it was at first, to face the people you betrayed and wonder how you'd ever gotten to the point where you'd thought okay to do all the things you did. I don't think you liked the answers you found for yourself. But the important thing is that you know better now. And you can use your experience to keep you from making those mistakes again." *** “Yeah,” Luke said. “There are a lot of things I’m not doing again. Not ever. And like you - I - said - I...I don’t get how I ever thought those things were okay to start with. Like...where was I coming from? How full of hate was I? I don’t get it. I’m so confused about so much and on top of that, I know I hurt so many people that a simple apology isn’t going to fix. Beckendorf. Silena. You. Bethie.” He looked at the oven as a reason not to look at her, and even in profile he looked worn and tired. “But I guess I don’t have much of a choice, do I? I have to find a way to survive this.” *** "No, there's not much of a choice at all," Thalia agreed. Even though he wasn't looking at her, she kept her gaze steadily on him. "And I know that sucks, but I also know that you will survive it." She stepped forward now to rest a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming the whole way." *** Elysium had been peaceful; he’d known that enough in the short time he’d been here. It would have been a far easier place to face these horrors. But he apparently wasn’t being given that choice anymore, and in all honesty he appreciated Thalia’s help, strange as it was. He turned back to look at her, a small smile on his face. “Thanks. Yeah. I can do this. Or, at least, I will do this.” *** "That's my boy," Thalia said, smiling back, and she allowed herself the luxury of bending to kiss him on the forehead. It was an affectionate gesture but not necessarily a romantic gesture, wasn't it? Hopefully he wouldn't get freaked out. She'd missed him a lot, and she still missed the closeness they'd found for themselves before he'd been taken away." *** Luke was surprised by the gesture but not freaked out. Not much, anyway. He kind of took it in stride and ignored it for now, because he was nowhere near ready to examine the feelings he had for Thalia. He felt them, yeah. And he knew they were there...but he was not ready for that complication just yet. He did smile at her, though, and reached out to take her hand and squeeze it. That much he could do. *** Thalia squeezed back, relieved, then let it drop. What she really wanted to do was hold onto it and maybe tug him closer for a real kiss, or at least hold on until she could be reasonably confident that he wouldn't leave again if she let go, but neither was possible at the moment. She'd just have to be happy that he was out of his funk now. Little steps. *** |