Enjolras (franceb4pants) wrote in the_tardis_trap, @ 2015-04-26 23:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | brooke davis : b-cheery, enjolras : franceb4pants, grantaire : onemorelie |
Who: Brooke, Enjolras and Grantaire
What: Offer and discussion of offer
When: Now
Where: Starting in the studio
Rating: High
Status: Closed
Brooke had gone to the library to see if she could casually bump into Enjolras or Grantaire, but the other guys told her they’d be in Grantaire’s studio. She knocked on the door and waited, biting her lip.
Grantaire lifted his head from Enjolras’ chest. “Hmm?” he said. “Who is it?” He kissed along Enjolras’ skin idly.
“It’s Brooke. Are you guys busy? I … thought we could get a coffee together.” That was probably really strange, they wouldn’t have been expecting that. But she didn’t know how to do it without it sounding unusual…
--
Enjolras was laying on the couch with Grantaire, sweaty and well sated and running his fingers through Grantaire’s hair.
He moaned softly as Grantaire kissed along his chest and then he registered Brooke’s voice. He looked down at his husband with a confused look on his face.
--
Grantaire was confused too. He sat up and slid a hand through his hair as he grabbed the nearest clothes to hand.
He moved to the door and peered out. “Are you okay?” he asked.
Brooke nodded, raising an eyebrow when she saw his hair. “Uh, yeah. Did I interrupt?” she asked, a little amused.
Grantaire gave a sheepish smile. “No, no.” He tilted his head. “Should we… meet you somewhere in a few minutes, once we…” He tried to flatten his hair without much success.
Brooke smiled. “Yeah. Sure. How about my living room in a little bit? I’ll go make us coffee.”
Grantaire nodded. “Yes. We’ll see you there soon.”
He waved her off and turned to Enjolras. “Strange. Maybe she has clothes for us to try on?” He started taking off whatever he’d pulled on as he walked towards the bathroom attached to his studio.
--
“Maybe she does. She doesn’t usually ask us to have coffee for that, though,” he said. He ran his eyes over Grantaire as he pulled off his clothes.
“Since we have to see Brooke soon I will resist joining you and seeing you all wet and naked.”
--
Grantaire grinned, tossing Enjolras his shirt back. “Probably for the best. I’ll be quick.” He leaned in to kiss his cheek, then tugged off his trousers and disappeared into the bathroom.
He came back with a towel wrapped around his waist and smiled. “Your turn,” he said with a grin.
--
Enjolras grinned at him and got to his feet, walking into the bathroom and taking a quick shower himself.
He reappeared a few moments later with a towel wrapped around his waist too. He dropped it and started to pull on his clothes again.
--
Grantaire was already dressed when Enjolras came out and he leaned back on the couch to watch him change. God he was gorgeous.
He stood up when Enjolras was finished and held out his hand. “It’s a sign of how curious I am about what she wants that I am not tearing those close off you again.”
--
He smiled at Grantaire. “It is the same curiosity that made me stay here when you were in the shower.”
He held his hand out to Grantaire. “Lets go and see what she wants.”
--
Grantaire smiled and took Enjolras’ hand. They walked to Brooke’s room and knocked on the door.
She opened it. “Hey. Come in.” She smiled. “Sorry for interrupting your afternoon. Come in and sit down.”
Grantaire shook his head. “It has already been an enjoyable afternoon.” He smiled and took a seat. “What is it you wanted to talk to us about?”
--
“Yes, most enjoyable,” Enjolras said, smiling at Grantaire and taking a seat next to him.
He looked at Brooke, waiting for her to answer Grantaire’s question. He was rather curious.
--
Brooke handed them each a coffee, then picked one up for something to do with her hands. “Okay. This is going to be a… a little random. But like, it’s just … an idea I had. I don’t want to pressure you guys in any way.” Grantaire’s brow furrowed. “So I don’t know if Grantaire told you, Enjolras, but he showed me how to cuddle Fantine properly and we talked about kids and … he’s just so good with her, isn’t he?”
--
Enjolras smiled. “No, he didn’t tell me that, but I am very aware of how great he is with Fantine. He is definitely going to be her favourite Uncle, despite what Courfeyrac says.”
--
Grantaire chuckled, ducking his head. “I’m confident I can steal that honour from him, yes.”
Brooke grinned. “Totally. But like… you are just … so good at it.” She glanced at Enjolras. “He mentioned you guys had thought of adopting. Is it something you really want to do?” she asked him.
Grantaire’s brow furrowed, he had no idea why she was bringing this up.
--
Enjolras glanced at Grantaire for a moment and then looked back at Brooke. “We have spoken about the idea. Briefly. It isn’t possible here and even when we do get off the ship, we cannot be guaranteed that it is something with will legally be allowed to do. I will fight for us to have the right to do it. But in the mean time…. we cannot adopt here. And there is no other way for us to have children. So it is not something I have given a huge amount of thought to.”
--
Grantaire shifted. “Is this about… the other ways?” Brooke nodded slightly. He looked to Enjolras. “In the future, they have things called surrogacy, where someone carries the child for couples who can’t do so themselves,” he explained. “It’s possible to conceive a child without having sex with the person.”
He looked over at Brooke. “But that’s … that’s a remote possibility too because we’d have to arrange all of that and it’s not happening until we leave.”
Brooke gave a nervous smile. “Or you know. I could… do it? If you guys wanted. I’ve researched it and … it’s something I could do. If you want.”
Grantaire stared at her, his jaw slack as he tried to process what she’d just offered.
--
Enjolras looked at Grantaire as he explained it to him. “Well, that is certainly an advancement….”
His eyes widened a little as Brooke offered to do it for them. “Are… are you sure that that would be something you would want to do? Knowing that you would carry the child and then have to… give it to us?”
--
Brooke nodded. “I’ve been considering it since I talked to Grantaire. I wanted to be sure I could get my head around it all before I offered. And … it would be your baby, not mine. I’d know that going in and … I’ll have my own. Jeremy’s promised me lots of babies.” She smiled.
Grantaire shook his head. “But this is… huge. It’s too much to ask of you - of anyone.”
--
Enjolras looked at Grantaire. He was just born to be a father. And the idea of them having a baby was rather appealing. Even if he was pretty certain that he would be terrible at being a father. Grantaire would not be.
He looked back at Brooke after Grantaire spoke. “Yes, it is huge.”
--
Brooke nodded. “Yeah. I just … wanted to offer. And I don’t expect you guys to know right away. Take time, think about it. It doesn’t have to be right now. But … the offer’s there.”
Grantaire shook his head. “But … why?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I have been here longer than you guys. It’s… I’ve accepted we don’t know when we’re getting home. We have to live our lives here, or risk missing out on stuff. I’d hate to see you guys miss out on the chance to be parents. Because I think you’d be so good at it.”
--
Enjolras wasn’t sure what to say. So many thoughts were running through his mind. But the one that stuck out was when Brooke said they would be so good at being parents.
“Grantaire would be. He would be amazing. And any child would be so lucky to have him as their father. As I am to have him as my husband.” And… didn’t Grantaire deserve to have that chance? Of course he knew that having a child for the wrong reasons was not a good thing, and having one just for Grantaire’s sake was not something his husband would agree to. Enjolras had never really considered being a father, was sure he would be terrible at it. But…. maybe he could learn? Maybe he could… find a way to make it work?
“What… what do you think, Grantaire?” he asked.
--
Grantaire shook his head. “I don’t - I don’t know.” He looked at Brooke. “I’m sorry, this is very unexpected.”
Brooke smiled. “Of course. I get it. Don’t answer me now. Go think about it, and if you want to meet to talk again before you decide, that would be cool.” She picked up some books. “I’ve been reading these. They might help…”
--
Enjolras took the books from Brooke. "Thank you. For the books and for this extremely generous offer."
He got to his feet and held his hand out to Grantaire. "It seems my husband and I have a lot to think about."
--
Grantaire nodded, getting to his feet in a daze. "Yes. Thank you. We'll - we'll think about it."
Brooke smiled. "Take your time. It's not something you should rush."
--
Enjolras nodded his head. "Of course not. Thank you again. And once we decide either way, we will get in touch with you again."
He led Grantaire to the door. His husband seemed to be in shock.
--
Grantaire could barely say goodbye to her. He followed Enjolras out, shaking his head.
"That... Was not what I expected."
--
"Yes. Likewise. Very much likewise. But she is right, my love. You would be a wonderful father."
--
Grantaire’s brow furrowed. “I never… I don’t know. It’s one thing to play with little Fantine. But a child of our own…” He shook his head again. “I don’t know.”
--
Enjolras nodded his head, remaining silent. He wasn't sure what he could say. He didn't know exactly why Grantaire was against the idea and was worried it might be him.
--
He leaned against Enjolras’ side. “It’s … such a huge decision. I know we spoke about adoption, but in the abstract, and … if we ever leave here.” He blinked. “I never … I never expected this. I don’t - I can’t get my head around it.”
--
Enjolras slid his arm around Grantaire’s waist. “You can tell me, you know. If this is something you don’t want to do. You can say it.”
--
Grantaire shook his head. “I can’t, I can’t say either way. I’m just … it’s overwhelming.”
--
Enjolras nodded his head. “I understand. It’s a big decision.”
--
“Yes. I need to think about it. I’m sorry I can’t even give you an idea of what I want…”
--
“It’s alright, my love. I know that it is a lot to take in,” he said.
--
He nodded. “Back to the studio?” he suggested. Not that he would be able to paint, but it would be … more private than their room. And he could do with some time to process the offer.
--
Enjolras nodded. “Yes, back to the studio,” he said. He started to lead Grantaire in that direction.
--
He closed the door behind them and shook his head, heading for the couch. “Sorry… I can’t believe she offered that. It’s so much to ask of her.”
--
Enjolras leaned against the door. “We… didn’t ask her, though. She offered. There is a difference.”
--
Grantaire nodded, holding his hand out to Enjolras and beckoning him over.
“But … nine months. Having a child for us and then… giving it away? How could - we would never be able to repay her.”
--
Enjolras walked over to him and took his hand, taking a seat next to him on the couch.
“I do not think… she would want us to repay her. I think she is offering us the chance to have something she knows you would be so wonderful at because she had seen you be wonderful at it. And that we should not be denied that chance because of who we love. I know it is an extremely generous offer and that she is the kindest person I know to offer it to us.”
--
He nodded. “She really is.” He leaned against Enjolras, nuzzling his neck. “I’m sorry I can’t - that I don’t know how to process it.”
--
Enjolras slid his arm around him. “It’s okay,” he said, kissing Grantaire’s cheek softly. “I haven’t fully processed it myself.”
--
“I’ll need a little time.” He nuzzled Enjolras’ chest, shifting closer. “I can’t believe it.”
His mind was racing in a way he couldn’t make sense of, just a loud jumble of thoughts and he closed his eyes to try to block them out. It didn’t work very well but he shifted down, kissing the part of Enjolras’ chest that was exposed. It calmed him, actually, having something to focus on.
--
Enjolras nodded his head. He needed time too to think about it.
He moaned softly as Grantaire kissed his chest and he shifted a little on the couch. A hand moved to Grantaire’s hair and he ran his fingers through it.
--
Grantaire gave a soft moan in response, reaching up to unbutton the rest of his shirt and kissing down his chest slowly.
--
“Grantaire,” he groaned, starting to grow more and more aroused. He couldn’t think about the idea of them having a baby when Grantaire was distracting him like this, but he thought maybe that was the point for Grantaire. He wanted a distraction.
--
He nuzzled Enjolras’ stomach as he unbuttoned his trousers, sliding his hand inside to free his cock. He shifted, taking Enjolras’ cock in his mouth and sighing softly. This was reassuring, familiar, and he wasn’t thinking nearly as much.
--
He groaned loudly and bucked his hips when Grantaire took his cock into his mouth. God, that felt so good. He gripped Grantaire’s hair. “Oh, fuck, Grantaire.”
--
He swallowed Enjolras down, moaning. This was good. This was perfect. He knew exactly what he was doing here, and he could forget about everything but the feel of Enjolras’ cock between his lips, the soft skin under his tongue.
--
He tightened his grip on Grantaire’s hair and bucked his hips even more, the thought of babies completely out of his mind right now. He could only focus on the pleasure Grantaire was giving him. “Oh, God. That feels so good.”
--
Grantaire lost himself in pleasuring Enjolras, his hand gripping Enjolras’ thigh tightly and moaning around him, taking him in deep and squeezing his hip, urging him to thrust into his mouth.
--
Enjolras started to thrust, claiming Grantaire’s mouth and growing closer and closer to the edge. Grantaire knew just how to make him feel incredible. “Oh, God. Fuck. So close.”
--
Grantaire sucked harder, letting Enjolras take his mouth as roughly as he wanted to. This was the most wonderful feeling in the world, he would never get enough of it.
--
“Oh, God. Oh, God,” he groaned and then he cried out loudly as he came hard in Grantaire’s mouth.
--
Grantaire moaned softly as he swallowed every drop down, sucking him clean before pulling back. Even then he just lay on his side, resting his cheek against Enjolras’ thigh and settling down.
“Mmm. Thank you.” He pressed a light kiss to Enjolras’ thigh.
--
Enjolras let out a breathless laugh. “Oh, my dear husband. You never need to thank me for that. I should be thanking you for giving me so much pleasure.”
--
He smiled, looking up at him with heavy eyes. “I get so much pleasure from that. It was… just what I needed.” His head already felt clearer.
--
Enjolras smiled. “So…. I think perhaps I should repay the favour,” he said. “We should switch positions.”
--
Grantaire shook his head. “Not just yet. Your old husband has not yet recovered from our earlier activities.” He grinned up at him. “But later, certainly.”
--
He smiled. “Very well. But do you think you could join me on the couch again?” he asked.
--
Grantaire nodded. “Yes. Can I keep my head here, though?” He asked as he climbed up, lying on his side and gesturing down to his lap again. “With your hands in my hair…”
--
Enjolras nodded and smiled again. “Yes, of course,” he said. “Lay your head in my lap, my love.”
--
Grantaire settled on his side, cheek pressed against Enjolras’ thigh. “Thank you.” He closed his eyes, feeling very relaxed again. He was calmer, so he let himself consider what Brooke had suggested. A child. A baby, with Enjolras.
“Do you - do you want children?” he asked, opening his eyes to look up at Enjolras.
--
Enjolras smiled and ran his fingers through Grantaire’s hair when he settled on the couch.
He looked down at Grantaire when he asked that question. “I have considered it somewhat lately. The idea of adopting. But Brooke could be right and we might never get the chance to leave here, or if we do, we might be too old to be able to raise a child then. I…. I see you with Fantine and it makes me think that you are so good at it. And you deserve to have the chance to be a father, and that… you cannot because you are with me…. It doesn’t seem fair. I don’t want to hold you back from having that chance. But… it isn’t just about that. The idea that I could….. give a child a loving family, that…. we could take care of a little life together…. it is appealing to me. I just…. worry because I would be terrible at it. There is… little I can offer. You know what you are doing and I have no idea.”
--
Grantaire looked up at him. “It … I don’t want it because you think I want it. I do love children, and little Fantine especially. I don’t need them, though. I have … I have more than I could ever have dreamed of at this moment”
“And I don’t think you’d be terrible. You may not have experience now, but neither did Marius. Neither did I before the baby. It comes… very quickly, once you begin.”
--
“Grantaire… I don’t want you to feel that because we are together…. you have some sort of quota on happiness. That you don’t deserve to have more. Because you deserve all of the happiness in the world. And if us having a baby would make you happy…. I am not saying that that is the only reason we would…. I just want you to know that you couldn’t ever feel you don’t deserve to be that happy. Because you do. More than anyone I know, you do.”
--
Grantaire closed his eyes. “I - that isn’t it. It’s not all of the reason I can’t immediately agree to it, anyway. It would… change everything. And I like this. I love what we have. I hadn’t expected to consider changing it so soon.”
--
“I understand what you mean. It would change everything. And I do worry…. that if we were to have a baby… you might lose interest in me. I know that that sounds… selfish and terrible but I would hate for that to happen.”
--
Grantaire laughed fondly. “Enjolras, my love, I can promise you with absolute certainty that is not going to happen. No matter what. I will always love you, I will always be drawn to you. That will never change.” He kissed Enjolras’ thigh again.
--
“I know that…. you have always been drawn to me but I have worried even without a baby that you might lose interest. I know that it is ridiculous given your devotion to me. I just know that I cannot lose you. I love you too much.”
He shook his head. “I do love what we have also. Very much. I love all the time we spend together. I love every moment of being your husband. And having a baby would change things. But, and I know you are aware I am a firm believer of his, change can often be good. Yes, our relationship will be different. But we could be a family. Have a child of our own.”
--
“You will never lose me. I can promise you that.” He ran his hand along Enjolras’ thigh.
“Very different,” he agreed. “I mean it. It would change everything.” He smiled, gesturing around them. “This wouldn’t happen. Dropping everything in the middle of the day to do this. Falling back into bed whenever we want,” he said teasingly.
--
He smiled when Grantaire said he would never lose him. "I do love your certainty."
Enjolras nodded his head. "That is true. But I don't..... I am not just with you because of the incredible sex we have. I love you. All of you. Yes, the sex is amazing. And I would not wish for us to stop having sex entirely. But we are more than that. And we could be ever more. We could be a family. You, me and a baby."
--
Grantaire smiled. "But you are insatiable and I like that you are. I like how much time we spend together. We would have far less time to just be with each other."
--
Enjolras smiled. "Okay. Then... We tell Brooke that we are extremely grateful for her offer but we do not want to take her up on it?"
--
Grantaire hesitated. "We should wait I think. I ... Like the idea too. I want more time to consider it."
--
Enjolras nodded his head and smiled. "You know you do not need to always tend to my needs. And I do not think we would spend less time together if we had a baby. If anything, I imagine it would bring us closer together as we would have this little life dependant on us."
--
Grantaire nodded. “True.” He grinned. “I like tending to your needs too, though. I like this time with both of us. Having children can … change things for a couple and I just … I need to think about it some more.”
--
"Can I ask.... What specifically worries you about it? Unless you would rather not answer that question."
--
“No, you can. Yes, we would have this little life depending on us, and it would bring us close in a new way… but it changes so much. We wouldn’t get sleep, we would be restless, we would be … entirely focused on the baby. Us, what we have just as us, as adults… that would come second. My neighbour said since she had her first child her and her husband... drifted apart. Everything became more difficult. They hardly spoke anymore, and when they did get time together it was … not the same. Of course they had the added strain of so many children and not enough space or money, but… I can see how it would strain things between a couple.”
He shrugged. “It may not happen, but we can’t … assume it will not.”
--
Enjolras nodded his head. “I understand that worry. I really do. Because I would not want us to drift apart. I do not want to risk ruining us because that would not be good for us, or a child. But I do know how I feel about you. And I do know that I love you more every day I spend with you. And I know that that will never change. I see you with little Fantine, I watch you paint and I am overwhelmed with such love and pride for you every day.”
--
Grantaire nodded. “It is a big decision. We should think about it, for a little while.”
--
Enjolras lowered his head to kiss Grantaire’s head. “Yes, of course. It is a very big decision, and it will change our lives. We should not rush to decide, either way.”
--
Grantaire nodded. “Yes. Thank you. I love you.” He lifted his head to brush his lips against Enjolras’.
--
“I love you, too,” he murmured back against Grantaire’s lips. He broke the kiss after a few moments. “And you do not need to thank me.”
--
“You have been very understanding…” he said, sitting up so he could nuzzle Enjolras’ cheek more easily.
--
“This is something that we both need to want to do and if one or both of us has doubts…. then we cannot do this. So of course I understand.”
--
He smiled. “We can read the books, and keep talking about it.”
--
“Yes, that sounds like a great idea. We need to think it through,” he said, smiling and kissing Grantaire again.
--
Grantaire nodded, moving to curl against Enjolras’ side, his head resting on his shoulder. There would be a lot to consider, but that they had the option was… incredible. He could still hardly believe that.
--
He slid his arm around Grantaire’s waist and kissed the top of his head. He would think about the offer some more too.