That hurt. It hurt far worse that Gil bought into his lies than the idea that he... he might ruin everything. That would ruin everything just as much. "Gil..." He sighed softly. To hell with everything. Careful planning and secrets had gotten him into this mess. Nothing was going to get him out. He... he might as well try being a spontaneous idiot for once. He dropped into the man's lap, grabbed his head, and kissed him. Hard. He shuddered violently, pushing away the fear clawing at his heart, fear of rejection, of trust, of anything he couldn't control. Whatever happened, at least he'd have this memory...