Rodya remained silent for a moment, and sat upright, leaning his back to the wall. "I do not know what to do now" he said, looking lost... afraid. "There is so much I do not understand..." he said, his eyes looking up to Merlin. "How will I live now? Maybe this is punishment... yes, maybe this is what I deserve. Maybe this is what was meant to be..." he rambled more to himself but still aloud.