InsaneJournal

Who: Narcissa & Lucius
What: While patrolling the corridors together, angst ensues, followed by whispered secrets and delicious tension.
Where: Slytherin dungeons.
When: Tuesday night, 28^th February
Status: Complete log
Rating: PG-13 for suggested themes

Let's tell you, let's not
Let's hide like this
Let's continue until I can't run anymore
To trust in you, no I can't
Because you seem like you still doubt me
I want to get closer to your thoughts
I can't sit still
Can you keep a secret?


The weekend had not turned out the way she had been hoping. Somehow Severus had gotten away from their walk and had ended up seeing the very last of the kidnapping. The bloody fool had even jumped into the fray, tossing various spells and hexes. Narcissa was able to play it cool, feigning surprise and comfort when he turned to her. It hurt her more than she cared to admit that he was so concerned over Evans and it was those thoughts that preoccupied her as she patrolled the dungeons with Lucius.

She had been rather surprised when he had invited (well, more like commanded) her to accompany him on the patrol of the dungeons. It was the late night shift so she didn’t quite mind. There wouldn’t be many students out and the ones that were, she would enjoy deducting points from their house. So far the conversation between the two had been silent, something she was hoping wouldn’t change. Ever since their exchange at Hogsmeade, she had made sure to steer clear of him. She wasn’t in the mood to hear any of his catty comments or sly questions. She wanted to be with Severus, to ask him what it was about him and that mudblood. But even if she hadn’t been called out, she wouldn’t have had the courage to confront Severus about it all. Instead, she pouted.


Lucius had observed Narcissa's particular demeanour that night, choosing not to comment on it. Instead, he'd made sure that she would show up with a request from the Head Boy to one of his Prefects; a request which she could hardly refuse. The power that he wielded felt good, natural, and he relished in being able to command others. Was this how the Dark Lord felt whenever he also wielded his power? The thought made him turn down to look at Narcissa, cutting into the silence with his light question:

"Something on your mind, Miss Black? Not disappointed that we have yet to find a student misbehaving, are you?" Lucius barely managed to hold back the smirk as he faced forward again, noting that they were rounding back toward Slytherin territory.


Well, so much for the hope of a quiet patrol. She glanced over at him before turning her gaze straight ahead again. “No, I’ve welcomed the quiet of our patrol tonight,” she said, trying to give him a rather subtle hint. She was sure he would understand it but ignore it all the same. As much as she was loathe to admit it, her past interactions with Lucius proved to give her more insight to him as a person. While there were still layers of mystery surrounding him, she still felt like she had a fairly good understanding of him. While that would have brought a smile to her face before, she could only frown now. She was still confused on her feelings for him. If she were to be completely honest with herself, she still held a certain attraction to him. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, but there was this connection she felt with him that wouldn’t go away. Instead, she tried to ignore it.

She noticed their destination was coming up as well and she let out a small sigh. She would be able to climb into bed and be alone with her thoughts. Perhaps she could think of a way to speak to Severus about his relationship with Evans. She knew it would be a touchy subject to broach, especially now, but she had to know. She loathed the idea that she might be second to a mudblood.


"A quiet patrol? Is that really all you look forward to anymore?" The question was a challenge of sorts, to see if she would rise to the occasion of further banter. Lucius had been pleased with himself after Hogsmeade's little encounter, though he hadn't forgotten how he'd initially felt upon seeing Narcissa in Severus's arms. Not that the boy had wanted to be so publicly seen with her, based on his reactions to Lucius interrupting them. Severus was such a private person that he imagined it was all Narcissa's doing, which greatly lessened any wrath he might aim toward his friend. They were still close in their own way and that would not likely change unless Lucius saw reason to alter their arrangement.

As it were, he knew that he was fighting a winning battle; it was merely a matter of getting under Narcissa's skin and staying there. In fact, if her continuing reactions to him were any indication, he already did occupy a portion of her thoughts. No one who was indifferent would be so very distant or defensive, after all. Lucius allowed the smirk as he steered them away from the direct route to the common room, instead leading the way down a considerably longer and quieter corridor.


As soon as Lucius started to head in a different direction, Narcissa stopped. “Lucius, where are you going?” She had tried so hard to keep her cool that night, but he was making it very difficult. How did he know exactly what to do to get on her nerves? True, she didn’t have the most patient of personalities, but it always seemed that Lucius knew the right buttons to push. “We’re done with our patrol for the night and I was rather looking forward to sleeping tonight. I don’t see why we need to do another patrol around the corridors when there is obviously no one else out!” She had too much on her mind already; she didn’t need any kind of trouble from him.

She glared at his first question, knowing he was just baiting her still, but she couldn’t keep it in any longer. “No, do you know what I look forward to Lucius?” She took a step closer to him, her hands on her hips. “I look forward to a good time with friends, with people who care about me and not about their own agenda. I look forward to seeing Severus, knowing that when I do I can be greeted with a smile that is only meant for me and a lending ear of someone who will actually listen to what I have to say.” As she continued to talk, she continued stepping closer to Lucius. “Those are the things I enjoy and look forward to. I’m sure you don’t understand as you’re too busy in your own little world to look around you and realize that no one else cares about your petty games.” She looked up at him, her blue eyes on fire. “Now if you don’t mind, I wish to go to bed. I wish you a good night.”


After she'd stopped, Lucius turned to give her a questioning look, but then felt himself halt on the spot upon seeing her temper flaring. Indeed, he did know how to push those buttons, and apparently, he'd pushed them a little too well. But then again, she was making a fine show of getting to him with her words as well, especially when she had to mention their mutual friend. He was really trying to avoid the subject entirely lest he became angry, though with Narcissa going off as she was, he couldn't help the heat that raced through him, eyes suddenly burning a molten steel. With little warning, he snatched her arm [she was just so close..] and roughly pulled her along with him till he spotted it: Slughorn's storeroom was conveniently nearby, beckoning, inviting. His free hand pulled forth his wand and the door burst open at his hissed unlocking charm, the force of the slam shaking the floor beneath his feet.

Just as soon as he'd manhandled her into the room, he pushed her up against a shelf full of ingredients and pulled the door closed behind them. Lucius turned back to her with a flame lit up behind his eyes, his glare heightened by the pulsing of blood in his ears. Taking a step forward [too close for comfort..], his scorching voice echoed in the small room.

"Don't play this game if you think it so petty." A hand pushed against the front of her robes until it was slithering beneath, roughly grabbing at her chest, in turns pulling at the fabric and then grasping for the warm skin that he could feel beneath. "I've told you before, you don't want to test me nor my patience," he leaned forward till his lips were too close to her ear, "because I'm a man on the breaking point."

To illustrate his point, he ran his tongue along her ear, tasting the skin and uttering a groan as he pushed his hips forward against her, already half at attention from the mounting tension. His free hand joined the other on the front of her robe, managing to open it up all the way and accosting her chest freely. The tear that sounded in the room was of no concern to him; he plowed forward, nipping her thoroughly moistened ear while his hands pushed aside the uniform jumper and attacked her dress shirt.


She had been proud of herself. She was not going to put up with any of Lucius' bullshit tonight, but she felt her arm grabbed rather roughly and she found herself being pulled along down the corridor. “Lucius Malfoy, what do you think you are doing?” she hissed, trying to free herself from his grasp. Try as she might, he had an iron grip on her arm and she found herself being thrown into the potions storage room. She had never been treated so roughly in her life and she tried to spring back out, but was only shoved back against the shelves. She heard the rattle of the jars and felt her head hit rather hard against the wood. She gritted her teeth against the pain, her heart wanting to jump out of her chest. She did not like the look he was giving her and gasped as he became very forward with his intentions.

“Lucius!” Her hand slashed out and slapped him, hard, against the cheek. He had guts to do this to her, in a storage closet of all places! She pushed out the thoughts of lust and want, telling herself she could not allow herself to grow weak now. She gave a harsh laugh at his words, pulling in a breath as she felt her robe being torn off of her.

“A man on the breaking point?” she asked, glaring at him. “So your solution is to take me into this closet and take advantage? I thought men of your stature had more good standing than this. Severus would never even think of doing anything without my permission! He would never be so forward, so dirty or uncouth.” She bit down on her lower lip as she felt his teeth against her ear, a strange stirring happening in her stomach. How could she possibly feel attracted to him at this moment? He was being an unrefined man, trying to take advantage of her in such a manner. But she still felt a certain amount of lust in her body and it took everything she had to keep herself from moaning or pressing her body against his. Severus she thought to herself, closing her eyes. You cannot do this to Severus!


The slap stung, so much so that he almost stopped himself. Almost. Instead, with a growl, he rubbed against her more insistently, almost latching down fiercely upon her ear, almost giving in to the rush — it was all a series of almosts when he started to listen to her, to what she was saying and how she was reacting. She'd been right, the little voice in his head finally yelled out at him, she's right, you're behaving like a maniac! That, coupled with the obvious shock [perhaps even fear?] in Narcissa's voice, was what finally stopped Lucius. He abruptly disentangled himself from her and pulled himself back, landing firmly against the door as though he'd been shoved by magic. The shock was written all over his expression. Even he couldn't believe himself, now that he was back to the present.

"I —" It was all so futile, trying to explain himself. "Narcissa, you have to —" She doesn't have to anything! Scrubbing a hand over his face, he turned with a snarl at his actions and his inability to speak what he was thinking.

"Narcissa…" it was soft, testing, hoping that she wouldn't immediately tell him where to shove his words. Lucius had his back to her, head dropping against the door and a hand balling up into a fist beside him.

"You have to believe me, I didn't mean to… to do what I just did." A little more confident this time, Lucius tried to sound as apologetic as he could. His head turned to look over his shoulder, wondering what he would see in her face. Hatred? Anger? Betrayal? Suddenly he wasn't so sure that he would win this one.


What she had hoped would be the end of this madness only seemed to spurn him on even more. She turned her head away from him as she felt him rub against her. She closed her eyes, wanting to block everything out, not wanting to admit even to herself that part of her wanted this. Didn’t she want this from him? No, not like this. Never like this. She only opened her eyes when she felt him stop and watched as he slammed himself against the door. She hurriedly bent down, feeling around for her robe. Forget about it! You can get another! Just get out! But he was in front of the door, blocking it. She pushed herself farther against the shelves, wanting to get herself as far away from him as possible. He was terrible, taking advantage of her, touching her in such an inappropriate way!

Yet…yet there was something in his voice that made her look at him. She didn’t want to be played by him again, but there was a raw emotion when he spoke that she had never heard before. She frowned, watching his every movement very carefully. Was this all a show as usual?

She lifted her head as he spoke. “No, I do not have to believe you,” she said, her voice shaking only slightly. She kept her eyes trained on him when he turned to look at her, yet she felt her defenses dropping. The look on his face was of complete defeat and she felt herself falling for it.

“Lucius, why do you act this way? What are you trying to hide?” She felt a vulnerability in him and she prayed that for once, he would answer her truthfully. “You knew that I wanted you. Before, in the potion’s classroom, yet you pushed me away. Now that I’m with someone else, you suddenly find interest?” She leaned against the stone wall, her arms folded across her chest. “It’s not fair.”


He had to give her questions serious thought, really pay mind to them and try to answer them honestly, if he didn't want to lose her completely. The mention of Severus stung again, hurting his pride and normally causing him to lash out in some way. But you've done enough of that tonight, haven't you? the voice mocked him, oddly taking on the sound of Severus himself. The snark bit into his awareness and he let himself turn so that his back was against the door. He leaned his head on it and looked up, unable to meet her eyes just yet.

"It's difficult to explain fully. Whatever this is… it isn't sudden." Grey met blue, the honesty backing up his words finding its way into that gaze. Lucius took a minute to watch her, taking in the tension that was still floating thickly in the storeroom. It was now or never, and for once in his life, he wanted to choose now rather than continue with the games that he was normally so fond of.

"Despite what I may say, I can never get you out of my mind. It's led me to distraction," he left out the part about 'Him' noticing said distraction, feeling it prudent to tackle that topic at another time. "I can't afford distraction right now, not with everything around us. This is bigger than me, or even you." His hands clenched, the rational part of his mind told him to stop right there, and his gaze softened, letting himself be seen through completely; he was transparent, if Narcissa wanted to see.


Narcissa hadn’t realized she had been holding her breath until he was done speaking. She let it out slowly, surprised that he had actually been so honest with her. It was something that she appreciated and, against her better judgment, she felt herself softening. There was an important part he was leaving out, but she didn’t push the matter, not now. She suddenly began to understand and she let herself relax, just slightly. Could it be possible that he thought of her as much as she had thought of him? She had always entertained thoughts of the two of them, but she had thought them passing fancy; a girl’s silly hope that her prince charming would come to care for her as well. Well, Lucius had certainly proved something other than a prince, yet she still fell for his charm. She knew there was something there, something redeeming. This was the first time she had seen it.

She pushed herself from the wall, her arms still crossed, standing in front of him. “Why would you push me away?” she asked, her eyes downcast at their shoes. “Is this so big that you cannot confide in me? I thought I had made it clear how I felt about you, yet you completely dismissed it. If you care, why can’t you accept me?” Love me. She hesitated, but placed a hand on his chest, her eyes finally looking up into his. Now she knew why she had adverted her gaze from his. He was beautiful to look at and she felt the rest of her resistance melt away. It was as if his earlier actions had not happened and a small voice began to wonder how he could hold so much power over her.

“Let me in Lucius,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I am not a silly school girl who cares only about gossip and clothes. If you confide in me, give me a chance to prove that I can be as equal to you as you would ever need in…” A wife? No, that conversation did not need to be had. “In a partner.”


Through her entire speech, he was listening, taking in everything that she had to say, and watching her every move. He noticed how she got closer, said something deeper, and came closer still. The hand, when it touched his chest, nearly caused him to shiver uncontrollably. Always on the brink of letting his mask slip, Lucius allowed himself to just let it all show. The trembling in his hand was obvious as it rose, first to hover over her face with a ghost of a touch, and then to gently take her by the shoulders and push her a step back. Nothing of his earlier behaviour remained in his touch. Everything was completely flipped around now, and he had Narcissa's innocence, his desire to protect it rather than harm it, to thank for all of this.

Just as soon as she was far enough away, after she'd finished speaking, he took a breath and placed that shaky hand at the cuff of his sleeve. The robe and sleeve were pushed roughly upward, his left arm baring the black Mark that branded him as owned by another, guided by a Master as dark as the Mark. Not a word was uttered, his breath held in his chest, observing her every little movement, taking in the shape of her face and holding it in his memory.

After the beat of a few moments, he barely whispered, "Those rumours… all true. I'm owned like a slave." One could so easily cut the tension with a knife.


At first she thought he was pushing her away yet again, not wanting to allow himself this kind of vulnerability. When his hand moved to push his sleeve up, she frowned, her eyes traveling down to what he was showing her. At first, she did not understand. She saw a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth; but what did it mean? She looked back up at him as he explained its meaning. A slave. But that was preposterous. A pureblood of his stature could be a slave to no man! Her eyes stared into his, searching for any kind of lie or foul play, but she only saw the raw truth of it all.

“Oh Lucius.” She couldn’t quite find the right words to say, but she placed her hand over the mark, hiding it from them. All her hypotheses of the Death Eaters and this new Dark Lord seemed to be mere marks on paper compared to the strong reality he was showing her. This Dark Lord wanted obedience and complete ownership of his followers. Had her sister fallen as deeply as Lucius had?

She raised his arm to her lips, lightly kissing the mark before moving his sleeve down. “Is there any way you can leave?” she asked, but she already knew the answer. This mark seemed to be the brand of ownership and that would never change.

She searched his face again, reaching out to place a hand on his cheek. Her thumb stroked the skin, as if that small gesture could comfort every worry that went through his mind. While she wanted to be able to reassure him, comfort him, it was enough for her to know that he felt the same vulnerability that she had days before. It was enough for her to have seen this tonight.

She took another step, close enough to get his scent once again. She closed her eyes, her hand dropping from his face to circle around his neck. When she opened her eyes again, she looked up with him, only love and wanting in them. She pulled his face down to meet hers, giving him a kiss. The need wasn’t great, but there was still a small sense of urgency.

“Let me help you,” she said, pulling back just enough for her lips to brush against his. “I can be there to support you, help you if you ever need it. You can tell me anything and not worry about what I think, because I will always stand behind you.” She looked up at him, his eyes blurred just a little from their close proximity. She was so close to telling him how she truly felt, how she knew that they were meant to be. But she held her tongue, something still holding her back from their last encounter.


He couldn't believe what she was saying. The speechlessness continued as he was unable to break the spell of her proximity, the way that she touched him so tenderly, tried to kiss away any of his worries, and spoke in that damnably soft and demure voice.

No, you can't, she can't, this isn't right the voice screamed. His head was starting to spin as he thought about where this conversation was headed, where she was willingly going with this. Narcissa didn't know what she was saying. How could she possibly? She hadn't seen what Lucius had, hadn't felt the Dark Lord's curse fall from his lips in that twisted way, didn't feel the malice ebbing from him in sick waves. The man was twisted, even Lucius knew that, but he followed him for the power that he could gain, the notoriety that he would eventually possess, and even a small part for the loyalty to his bloody father.

"No, no…" he whispered, shaking his head minutely against the kiss. "No, you can't," when she was just hovering before him [so terribly close..]. And then he was shaking his head more fervently, looking away from her and putting his hands on her shoulders. He didn't push but he didn't let her get any closer, either. This couldn't happen, it just couldn't.

"You don't know what you're saying. It — it's just not —" A hand left her shoulder and ran through his hair, hanging onto a few strands as his head shook again and he turned back to look at her, eyes pleading.

"He'll sense this, us, and he'll use this against me. He'll try to get to you, I can't —" Lucius had never felt the harsh pang of fear as he did just then. Never in his life had he thought that he would be able to feel so strongly for another, and just the thought of what could befall Narcissa, what could happen to the both of them if the Dark Lord knew… it brought such a horror to his heart that he hardly knew how to continue breathing.


She had never seen Lucius Malfoy afraid of anything, yet as she proclaimed her devotion to him, she sensed the fear that seemed to surround him. It surprised and pleased her, yet she still felt a wall between them. Whoever this new wizard was, he was standing between the two of them and she didn’t want that.

“Lucius…” It was strange to see him in this state and she felt something rise up in her. She suddenly realized that she wanted to take care of him, to hold him in her arms and tell him everything was going to be all right. They just needed each other and things would be all right. But she knew he wouldn’t believe it. Still, she reached out to take his hand, both of hers encircling it. “Perhaps you’re right,” she said, bringing it up to her face and giving the palm of his hand a kiss. “I don’t know what I’m talking about because I don’t know who I’m dealing with. So tell me.” She looked him in the eyes as she said it, fear and uncertainty gone from them. She had been so unsure about this new wizard and the power he held, yet it didn’t matter now. Whatever Lucius was going through, she wanted to share the burden with him. “Surely you won’t get in trouble for telling another worthy pureblood of this great master? Especially if that person would be interested in following him as well.”

She had never thought of being a part of this group of Death Eaters. She was not a fighter like Bellatrix, but she believed she had the strength to. And if Lucius was worried that she would just become a pawn in their game, she would take a step up and become an integral piece of the game. She wanted so desperately to pull him into her arms, but she knew he would just push her away again. She still held onto his hand, hoping he would allow her in a little more.


Through the haze of worry and pain there was Narcissa, looking so understanding and loving that he was shocked into silence. All he could do was follow her movements, molten grey gaze keenly aware of everything that she was doing. When her hands touched his, he felt himself almost lighten, as though the weight was beginning to lift from his shoulders. Her soft words were lulling him into a sense of calm so that his hand left his hair and ran idly down until it had fallen limply by his side. His head was starting to lean back against the door, and then, out of nowhere, the wall of bricks fell even harder upon his chest with her last words. For a moment, he stopped breathing. His heart might have stopped as well; he couldn't be sure.

The ache laced every word as he uttered out in desperation, "Narcissa, please, you don't know what you're saying." It hurt to have her so near and so understanding, obviously wanting to help him. Lucius had known from the very beginning that she was devoted to him already, but maybe he didn't know just how deeply that devotion ran. If he had any question prior to that day, it was quickly swept away.

But then her words… no, she couldn't be serious. She didn't know. It took all of his strength not to break down right there in front of her. As it was, he felt his knees give way as he slid down the door, taking Narcissa along if she didn't let go of his hand.

"You don't know… " he whispered, his vision suddenly blurred with the tears that weren't falling.


It was strange how she could almost feel his tension lighten, as if she knew his thoughts and feelings already. She was sure her suggestion would not be welcomed, especially after his desperate plea before, but she knew this was what she needed to do. She tried to catch his eye, giving him a small smile and reaching out to touch a small lock of his hair. “I know what I’m saying. I know it will be hard and that there will probably be times I regret doing it, but there will always remain a constant and I want that to be you.” She still held onto his hand and was surprised as he slipped down onto the floor. She moved to sit in front of him, slipping her legs underneath her and to the side.

“I know it’s a lot,” she said. “And you do know more about this than I do. I can only assume that this wizard is uncouth and cruel to have you wishing me to stay away. But this is my decision as well. And I want to be by your side always.” She looked in his eyes and was surprised to see them filled with tears. Her heart completely broke at that moment and she couldn’t hold back any longer. She leaned forward and caught his lips in hers, a hand raised to lie against his chest once more. Every emotion and longing she had felt for him was in that kiss. It was intense yet loving and she felt herself start to choke up. Her breath was short and she felt a stirring in her heart. It wasn’t unpleasant, but she realized that she would never care for anyone the way she did for Lucius. He held her, body and soul.


He did know all of what she described and more, yet right then, with her lips pushing against his with those emotions sizzling between them, Lucius let his mind clear of everything that wasn't purely Narcissa. He put more of himself into the kiss than he'd ever done with anyone else before, his confidence quickly swelling within him until he was pushing forward and holding onto her, a hand on her waist and another at the back of her shoulders, pulling her closer toward him. His knees opened up for her in his sitting position, letting her rest securely against him as he explored her soft lips with his own.

There wasn't much need for preamble, so when his mouth opened up under hers for a deeper kiss, he didn't hold back. Lucius was practically ravishing her at this point, the emotions from before singing in his nerves. Sense kept knocking at the back of his mind, trying to get his attention the whole time. Eventually giving in to the pestering call, he pulled back very slightly and spoke against her lips, his breath hot and coming in pants.

"This needs to stop… Narcissa, this won't help matters." Rational thinking returned and he dreaded having this conversation, but he knew that if they were to ever become more, it needed to happen sooner rather than later.


For once they were both on the same page, enjoying the moment and not thinking of much else but each other. She happily gave in to his every want, moving closer against him, her own lips opening. Nothing had tasted as sweet as his kisses and she could only give him a pout when he finally pulled away. She closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against his. Why could they not enjoy this moment they finally had together?

She pulled back from him just slightly so she could look into his eyes. “Why will you not allow me to care about you?” she asked. “I want to be there for you, not just emotionally but physically as well! I can’t even begin to think how I might feel if you were to go on a mission for this man. I would be worried sick, wondering if I would ever see you again or if you would come back injured! I will not sit idly by and let you do all the dirty work. I would rather be at your side, fighting with you. Please Lucius, do not push me aside again!”

She hadn’t realized it, but she spoke as if they were already married. She had meant during their times now at Hogwarts, as she was sure he was doing certain business for the wizard now. Even so, she knew it to be true if they were to marry. She could not stand thinking of staying at home, lying in an empty bed and waiting for him to come home. Her nerves would not stand it.

She knew he would argue it still and sighed, leaning back on her heels. “If you would not have me be with you then, what do you propose? After everything we have gone through, I will not lose you Lucius.” Her tone was stern, but soft. She wanted him to know that she said all of this not to criticize or patronize him, but because she loved him. She hadn’t realized it until this moment, but it was not just a passing fancy she had for him. It was true love, something that would not ebb with time and even if he were to push her away for good, she would still feel this ache in her heart.


Lucius had felt the intensity of her words more than heard them, if that were even possible. Something about her just connected with him, causing him to implicitly understand her without having to hear her words. So when she did put voice to them, his fair brows started to lower slowly, seriously, his mind working over the meaning.

"I can appreciate your stance on this," he began with a calm tone, "but surely you have to realise that what you are suggesting is impossible. If you truly don't know much about the Dark Lord, then let me enlighten you. He is a man without morals, compassion, nor fear." Lucius looked at her in such a way as to cause metal to boil, if he had that power. He tried to get his thoughts across with words and his piercing gaze.

Before he continued, he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the door, taking in a deep breath while trying to close off his mind, in case Voldemort decided to 'tap into' one of his Death Eaters that evening. It was imperative that he hold his thoughts close to him, especially where Narcissa was concerned. Not moving from his position, he continued to speak, hands minutely tightening against her, not wanting to let her go.

"His idea of obtaining loyalty is through… Crucio. An Unforgivable that is nearly unbearable, among other concocted spells that I won't even mention." The Adam's apple in his throat bobbed with his harsh swallow, Lucius attempting to plow on despite the discomfort of his confession. "He won't accept mistakes. Absolutely none. Even the smallest error or outspoken thought is punished. At first I thought that he could bring me power."

Lucius raised his head then, giving Narcissa the same burning stare as before, though now his eyes seemed unfocused. "And he can, along with much more, anything I want really. But that isn't what I'm after anymore." Sharply focused now, he let the hand against her back run up until it was touching the tips of her hair, fingers starting to comb through the blonde locks with gentleness.


His gaze was piercing and she felt herself shiver, despite the anger and malice that was behind it. This wizard was obviously one Lucius did not hold in deep concern for, yet it was obvious it was the societal boost he wanted. Narcissa felt her heart sink as she heard more about this dark wizard, the one who had received all of this loyalty. She suddenly became very afraid, not for herself, but for Lucius and Bellatrix who were already deeply rooted in the group. He didn’t have to say it for she knew; there was no way for them to leave once they had devoted themselves. It was enough to make her cry, yet she swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. She had said she would be brave and this would be her first instance. There was no reason for tears; they wouldn’t be able to save Lucius now. Now was for planning.

Her hand rose to his hair, stroking it gently against his face. “Has he done this to you?” she whispered, not wanting to think of Lucius in such pain. Her face reflected her own pain, what she felt in response to his. She couldn’t accept this. She had never felt so powerless before and it was driving her crazy. She lowered her gaze, staring at the ground in front of her. What could they do now? This whole night had been a roller coaster of emotions and she wasn’t going to let it end on such a down note. It was obvious Lucius would not allow her to join this group with him, yet she could not stand being the one at home, anxiously awaiting his return.

“What about Severus?” she asked, raising her gaze to his. “He knows Occlumency. Perhaps he could teach us. We can protect our minds against this wizard so we too can grow strong. He may be all powerful, yet he is still a man. We can show honour and obedience to his face, but keep our thoughts to ourselves.” She knew Severus was the last person Lucius wanted to think about at the moment (she found it hard to think of him as well, given their situation), but it made sense. He was the most gifted in Occlumency and she was sure he would help them in their endeavor.

She gave him a small smile at his last comment, reaching for his free hand. “What do you want now?” she asked, daring him to actually answer. She could no longer doubt his feelings for her, but she wanted to hear the words. Something still felt lost in the translation and it needed to be spoken aloud.


Lucius watched her and listened to every word, never once taking his eyes off of Narcissa. She seemed to change so drastically from the frustrated young woman who had been affronted by him before. He'd convinced himself to be completely forthright with her, and now, seeing her like this, he was both grateful and sad that he'd let his guard down. He didn't want her to go through this, of all people. She was meant to live a happy life, a carefree life filled with luxury and beauty, not this life of darkness and constant worry. That was the last thing that he wanted for her. Slowly he began to realise just how much he had invested himself in Narcissa Black. The understanding was dawning in his eyes before he could help himself, and as he watched her, felt her so near yet not nearly close enough, he understood: this was love, not lust, nor immature game-playing. This was what his father had spoken of to a young Lucius so long ago, what the cold man had even felt for his mother. Lucius hardly thought it possible, but here he was, sitting with the very witch that he'd been thinking about for so many years, spilling all of his secrets.

"Narcissa…" his voice cracked on her name, a sad sort of note mingling with the reverence. It was almost too much for him to bear. He, normally so cruel and calculating, felt this one person getting to him like no other. He couldn't look away nor stop himself as he leaned forward, silencing anything else that they might have said with a slow kiss, just barely a brush of lips and withheld breath. He'd never felt this fragile before and it was unnerving.

Before he could let his mind overcome his senses, he was pulling her closer and kissing her with an insistence that wouldn't let up. Both hands went to her face, thumbs stroking so gently against her soft cheeks and then running through her hair, so like his own. He felt his heartbeat slow, contrary to how he was feeling. This was right, just the two of them. Nothing else mattered. The tears finally slipped through closed eyes, falling upon her cheeks and trailing down his arm, brushing so delicately past the Dark Mark on his arm.


Her heart broke as he said her name and she felt everything change within her. She wanted to stand by his side and support him, to be there when he felt vulnerable and weak, and to comfort him when his life seemed to be swirling out of control. Suddenly everything was not about her or her wants or needs; it was about him as well. There was nothing official between the two of them, but in that moment, she knew that they were intertwined together and would be for the rest of their lives. Every worry and hurt that had lain between them seemed to vanish as he kissed her, his hands on her face and an urgency that she had never felt before. It wasn’t just about the intimacy of the moment, but the bond that they now shared.

She returned it happily, drinking in every part of him. His smell, his touch, his taste. She couldn’t get enough and returned each kiss with more fervor and want. She had almost forgotten where they were or what time it was. But the distant chime of the Hogwarts bell struck, indicating that it was just turning a half hour after the hour. They were supposed to have been done with their rounds an hour ago and even the Head Boy could not argue with a teacher why he was out so late. She pulled back, against her better judgment and the screaming of her body, to rest her forehead against his, her breath coming out short and shallow.

“Lucius…” It seemed that every time she started a sentence now, she couldn’t find the words to complete it. What really needed to be said now that they didn’t already feel? She pulled back to look at him, not wanting this moment to end. Still, it had to at some point.

She suppressed a sigh, her hand sliding down into his. “I don’t want this to end,” she admitted out loud. “Can we just stay like this? A little longer?” She raised herself to plant a lingering kiss on his lips. “May I stay with you tonight?”


This whole encounter had been overwrought with emotions the likes of which Lucius Malfoy never gave in to. It was Narcissa, just something about her that broke every single rule that he'd meticulously established. So when she looked so innocent and pleading, so very open to him in almost every way, how could he refuse?

"Let's go, then," he replied after a quick reply of his lips to hers. He pulled them both up, keeping Narcissa secure against his chest, hand going to the door behind him as soon as he'd stood up. His entire body was lined up so perfectly against hers that he was starting to feel pleasantly dizzy. He wanted, so very badly, to push his hips tighter against the perfect cradle of hers, but alas, the chiming clock and her words struck a valid point to his more rational side and he relented, gently pushing her away and squeezing the hand that she'd slid into his. His other hand opened the door and he was guiding them both out, securely latching the lock after he'd summoned her torn robe to them.

With a quirk of his lips, he released her hand and pointed his mother's tailoring spell at the robe, watching as its seams reformed and the stitches closed up magically. Lucius draped it about Narcissa's shoulders and gave her a charming smile, offering his arm to her.

"My apologies for that… I hope that you won't hold it against me." Both brows lifted in amusement as he started to enjoy the lightness that was starting to enshroud them; so different from the terse emotions of before.


Narcissa could only smile back as he lifted her up and opened the door. He hadn’t turned back to his usual cool self and her hope began to soar even more. He had pulled her to him, her body resting against his. She wanted him so badly, but knew that it would not be proper to do anything before she was married. Dear Salazar, please let Lucius be the man I marry. Still, despite their longing for each other and the need to uphold their family decency, it didn’t mean they couldn’t do other fun things.

She accepted the newly mended robe with a slight smile on her face. “It’s quite all right. I would take a dozen ripped robes if I could play this night over and how it will end.” She leaned up again to give him a kiss, still not believing that this was happening. Part of her had asked to stay with Lucius through the night, afraid that when she woke up, it would have all been a dream. If it was going to be a dream, she wanted it to last as long as possible.

“Or perhaps I should hold it against you,” she said once they began to walk back towards the Slytherin common room. “I’m sure I could think of many things to punish you with. They were my favorite out of all my robes. Mother had them designed for me when I was awarded my Prefect badge.” Well, it was partially true. Narcissa really didn’t have a favorite robe, she hated them all. But it was nice to get back into a teasing conversation with Lucius, allowing for a light mood with no animosity between them. She walked rather close to him, their arms intertwining down to their fingers. Did he feel that this was as natural as she did? There were so many questions she wanted to ask and get confirmation on, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment. Later. Yes, now there would always be a later. Be content with this, don’t push matters as you always do. She hated nagging herself, but knew it was true. She needed to enjoy the moment with the man she loved.


All the way through the common room and up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, he'd entertained the idea that perhaps he could have a decent relationship with Narcissa beyond the sometimes unpleasant one that they'd been developing over the last few weeks. He was seeing the flirty, good-humored, and quite innocent side of her that he had wanted to see more of before. If only they had come to this understanding earlier… his eyes darkened for a few seconds as he thought about what the future would bring. He would be graduating this year and Narcissa still had another year to go.

Turning to her, however, he pushed the dark thoughts to the back of his mind and he offered his indulgent smiles at her teasing. He did feel a bit guilty for the robes, so he privately made a note to himself to have a finer cut prepared and delivered to her at the soonest opportunity.

"Why Miss Black, if I didn't know any better, I would assume that you were merely teasing me out of some flight of fancy." His arm disentangled from hers as he guided the way to his private room, unlocking and opening the door for her like a proper gentleman. This felt good, right, even. The entire evening was ascending to so much more than it had begun, so many possibilities teasingly dangling just before them, if only they would reach out and grab them. It was in the quiet of his room, door locked and silencing charm in place, that he gave her a perfectly serious look, eyes grazing across her, thoughts heading in all sorts of directions that weren't appropriate that evening. He knew perfectly well where their futures would lead them even now, and yet, Lucius was still a man with needs that were calling out to him. Salazar knew how he tried to control them for her sake, if not for his.

"Narcissa… tell me to stop before I even begin." Grey eyes bore into blue, flashing a message that she would surely not misinterpret. Hands already went to his robes and unclasped them, busily pulling at his uniform while slowly letting each article drop to the floor without a care in the world. His chest was completely bare before he approached her, all manner of tension swirling around him, unseen but surely felt.


“Teasing you because I enjoy it?” she asked, smiling at up at him with an eyebrow raised. “Surely you jest Mr. Malfoy! I would never dare such a thing!” Her smile said otherwise. She stepped into his dormitory, enjoying the privacy of his single bedroom. “It seems being the Head Boy has its benefits,” she said, looking around and back at him. She saw something then in his eyes, the desire burning through as they had earlier that evening. This was different though; it wouldn’t be out of malice or anger, but out of love. She was sure that her own cornflower eyes would reflect that same want.

She could only step back towards his bed, watching as he lazily drew the top portion of his clothes to the floor. She wasn’t shy about looking at his torso, so well defined and smooth. She couldn’t help but reach out, her fingers lightly tracing against them. It sent a shiver through them and she looked up at him again.

“I could never tell you to stop,” she said, her fingers sliding down his chest, stopping at the top of his pants. They latched onto the belt loops and pulled him closer to her, her free hand resting on his bare chest. “I don’t want you to stop.” She brought his arms around her waist and leaned up, another kiss pressed against his lips. Even though this was only one of many that night, she still couldn’t get enough.

She pulled him back to the bed, smirking as she pulled back to take off her own jumper. The tie soon followed, but she only unbuttoned a few at the top, enough to let him see what could be waiting for him. Two could play this game of teasing.


Lucius had smirked at her comment about being Head Boy, not for the first time appreciating its perks. However, even with any others that he might have being involved, he'd never once brought them to his bed with intentions to use it. Somehow, it never seemed fitting enough for anyone, not until he saw Narcissa standing there, so touchably close. Her hand was too warm, lips too inviting. He allowed her to do with him as she pleased, but as she started taking off parts of her uniform as well, he came to his senses and broke from the kiss.

"Tonight, at least, will be pure. I don't say this very often Narcissa, but I simply want to hold you close; no teasing, no games, just you and I." Lucius didn't remove his trousers or pants as he might normally. The silk sheets would have to grace his naked skin another day. For now, he simply took Narcissa's hand and pulled her along with him as he sat upon the bed. He drew her close, her back to his front, revelling in the fabric of her shirt as it rubbed lightly against his bare chest for a moment until he'd lain them down on the luxurious material. Just before he brought the covers over them, he touched his lips to her ear with a warm whisper:

"Next time perhaps, you may be lucky to feel these sheets running smoothly against your naked skin." The heat passing between them was nearly unbearable, but if nothing else, Lucius was well practised at exercising control over his actions and he stood by his convictions once he'd made a decision. With those last words, the thick emerald duvet slid over them as Lucius wrapped Narcissa in the safety of his arms for the night.