Throughout her entire monologue, James felt himself go from angry, to hurt, to longing, and back to angry. It was all so confusing and embarrassing to have to go through this now, but the rational side of his brain was trying to make him see reason, to not let his wounded pride get in the way. He was so bloody confused about how he should act that he found himself opening his mouth a few times before snapping it shut. His defences were on full alert and he didn't know if he should stay or run.
Choosing the former for now, he darted a nervous look around them, suddenly so concerned about the students that were starting to whisper and even stare in unabashed interest at how things were unfolding. "Look, I don't want to argue this or anything. Let's just... I don't know, let's just see how things go." His gaze was anywhere but at Lily, mind working overtime and heart beating unsteady rhythms against his entire body. He felt himself start to tremble just a little bit and he quickly quashed it down so that Lily wouldn't see his weakness.
"Okay? I can't talk right now. It's just not — it's not possible right now." Just why isn't it, you prat? his mind asked in shock. James couldn't answer even himself because he didn't know exactly how to feel. On the one hand, he wanted things to go back to how they were, even before Lily had seemingly accepted him, yet on the other, he still yearned so badly for her that he almost broke apart right in front of her, giving in to the need. Instead, he blurted out something that he'd never intended, Sirius's words in his journal lingering at the back of his mind.
"Why don't we go to Hogsmeade this weekend?" James nearly flinched at how needy and scared he sounded. Finally meeting her gaze, he worried his lip at what she might say, or at how she would take it.