InsaneJournal

Tweak says, ""I'm Brian and so's my wife!""

“Well… that wasn’t what I’d expected,” James said as he emerged from the floo, dusting the soot out of his hair as he headed towards the kitchen. He just expected the others to follow and make themselves at home. Once in the kitchen, he went into the fridge to take out enough beer for his friends and set them out on the table which seemed to be the best place for their meeting after the meeting. He took his usual seat, and draped his arm over the back of the chair he expected Lily to sit in.

Remus hadn’t been able to really prepare his friends for the meeting Professor McGonagall invited them to, so he didn’t really have many expectations either. His only job was to bring people he trusted, and besides his Dad, James, Sirius and Lily were his closest friends. Remus still had a thought of guilt about Peter, but the fact was he’d been drifting apart from them since they had finished school.

“That’s not what I thought McGonagall was going to tell us.” Remus took the beer James offered, and took his seat.

Lily found she was still too stunned to comment as she joined James at the table, reaching for her beer and holding it between her palms without opening it yet. When Remus had invited them along to the meeting, she'd been expecting something far more political activist and far less vigilante group, and what she'd gotten was something in between, if far, far more secretive than she had realised. Had You-Know-Who and his followers really become such a threat? They must have, to warrant such a discussion, but she'd truly thought the Aurors had a handle on it and not the truth—that she'd bought into the Ministry propaganda. Half of what had her knocked speechless was her own naivete.

Sirius flopped into his usual spot, pulling one of the extra chairs over so he could put his feet into it, giving the appearance of being far more relaxed than he actually was. Not that his mates would be fooled. Even if that could have been, he'd been plenty vocal enough at the end of the meeting.

"Doesn't take much, that." He grabbed a beer, popped the top with a flick of his wand, and took several deep swallows. "I thought Dumbledore was bloody invincible. Means we're in over our head, boys. And non-boys," he added with a little smile in Lily's direction.

Despite Sirius trying to appear casual, James and Remus both knew better. For his own part, James was just as stunned as the rest of them but he felt fidgety and wanted to talk it out. He wanted to do anything to get rid of the image in his head he’d conjured up of an unconscious Dumbledore. He took a drink of his beer, and looked to Lily beside him who hadn’t said anything, and he rested his hand on her shoulder to give her some reassurances. “We’ve never been in over our heads before. Maybe treading water a few times.”

Remus owed a lot to Dumbledore. He was a good man, and the reason Remus was actually able to go to school, and have the friends he did now. And Sirius’s perception of the great wizard was what they all had. Remus wanted to help: and the fact that there was something he could do was still fresh in his mind. And McGonagall had reached out to him… and encouraged him to bring his friends along. “But we have to do something. This… Order: they need us. McGonagall wouldn’t have asked, otherwise.”

"Exactly," Sirius said, snapping his fingers and pointing them at his best mate. "So we're acknowledging this is barmy, right? Right." He drank more beer, slumping down farther into his chair. He should have been grateful that he'd managed this many years without getting sucked back into the Pureblood cesspool, but appreciating what he had when he had it had never been his thing. He and regret were great friends by now. "Lils, you're with me, yeah?"

Lily had leaned into her boyfriend's side, soaking up his warmth and attention as she tried to sort through her thoughts, but it was the direct question that finally prompted her to speak. "They think you three can help. That's barmy." She smiled softly—more so than she usually granted them—to show she was teasing. It felt strange to joke after such a discussion, but it was the only way she knew how to get through to this group. Sirius, in particular. "But Remus is right. Professor McGonagall wouldn't have talked to him if the need wasn't dire. They didn't say as much, but it sounds to me like they're spread thin. Too many cracks, not enough Order members to plug them all, and no way of knowing which one's going to be the one that blows up in their faces. Our faces." She reached for James's free hand, curling hers around it. "None of us are immune to the danger, Order or not."

She was a Muggleborn, Remus was a werewolf, Sirius had defied his family, and James never kept his mouth shut. If what McGonagall and the others had described was true—and she had no reason to believe it wasn't—it was only a matter of time before they found themselves at the wrong end of a wand.

James couldn’t help it but he snorted at Sirius’s implication of how barmy this was. “What a time to be finally acknowledged for our brilliance.” A drink of beer covered the more pensive expression he took next. They’d probably given McGonagall more grey hairs on her head than her age did from the trouble they caused, and here she was asking them to be… soldiers basically, and that was terrifying. Lily’s teasing helped break him out of those thoughts for the moment, and he chuckled as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. “You’re barmy too for sticking with us then.”

Remus smiled at Lily, but he looked between James and Sirius to try to guess what they were thinking. If Lily went along with this, James would. Remus didn’t mean to think it, but he wasn’t sure about Sirius. For him, this meant going up against the pureblood life he left behind. Really, Remus and Lily had an immediate stake in this of being marginalised, but Sirius had every reason to avoid such a conflict. “A lot of what Elphias said isn’t exactly a secret either. The Ministry is keeping a low profile to keep things quiet, but things have been happening. Dad and I have been brought into the beast division because they need more help.”

James’s hand embraced Lily’s when she reached for it, and his expression was more serious. “I don’t want anything to happen to any of us. So if we’re in danger anyway, then I’d rather be informed. Besides, our mischief making has to be good for something,” James finished with a smirk.

Another time, Lily might have teasingly stood up and left the room as if pretending to truly leave them to their barmy ways, but despite any attempts to lighten the mood, the topic was far too serious for any real joking. Though it was James she was snuggled against, it was really Remus and Sirius she was watching. Their expressions and postures seemed to almost mirror each other, and there was still a very real possibility that this could be one of the things they disagreed on. Sirius's vehement reaction at the mere possibility of Remus being sent undercover was proof of that.

"Have there been other incidents Elphias didn't mention?" She frowned at the idea. He'd brought up rumours of potential, upcoming attacks, but werewolves weren't the only abused and undervalued group in the world. "Does your dad know about the meeting?" She assumed not, since Lyall hadn't attended the meeting himself, but she wanted to confirm. She would need to get used to this whole secrecy thing.

Sirius spent the time his friends were talking finishing off his beer. Even on a normal night, he was the most likely among them to get completely shitfaced, but tonight he felt rather entitled. Obligated, even. He flicked his wand toward the refrigerator and floated out another bottle. "If I'd wanted to be an Auror, I'd have been a bloody Auror." The whole thing had his stomach in knots, but he still added, "But I can't let you two get into trouble without me, can I?"

Remus looked between his three friends, but ultimately settled on Sirius as he was the one still undecided. This was just too important to leave Sirius out, even if he didn’t like the idea. This was too big of a secret to not tell one of his closest friends, and while Remus would rather see Sirius out of danger, he wasn’t sure that was possible.

At Lily’s question, Remus nodded. “The attacks are all true. They had to be reported, there was no way around it. But what’s not as well known is there are some people from the werewolf registry that have gone missing. And there’s also been new colonies of giant spiders popping up near muggle areas. I also heard that the Beings division has lost contact with the giants.”

He shook his head when the conversation turned to his dad. “Dad doesn’t know. I didn’t think it would be right to tell him without letting McGonagall know first.” But Remus did feel guilty about that too. Besides the three people in front of him, Remus trusted his Dad the most. He did work for the Ministry though, but Remus knew his father was worried about the state of magical creatures.

James smirked at Sirius’s begrudging acceptance. “It’s not trouble without you,” James gestured to his friend with his bottle before taking another drink. “So that sounds like we’re all in agreement that we’re going to join. And as the first one who usually goes in head first, I do think we step in lightly. It looks like they’ve already been recruiting Aurors to do Auror things. And Remus, don’t you be the impulsive one and go backpacking with werewolves.”

"I'm pretty sure we already joined," Lily pointed out, tipping her beer bottle to gesture to the lot of them with it. They could still back out without any hard feelings, she knew, but the idea didn't sit right with her, even if the idea of being in it was uncomfortable, too. She didn't do well with unknowns—which meant she was in great need of a research binge. That she could do. "But I agree with James. Write that one down, darling." She patted his leg and smiled at him before turning her eyes on Remus. "No running off to be the hero. We can't have each others' backs if we're not together."

"Smartest thing anyone's said tonight, as usual," Sirius said, raising his bottle in a silent toast to the witch. He couldn't quite look at Remus, but he couldn't quite keep his eyes away, either. His eyes rested on his friend's hands as he said, in a quieter tone, "So what now?"

James laughed when Lily admitted she did agree with him, and let go of his beer so he could put his hand down on her hand to give it a brief squeeze. “I’m going to commit it to memory and remind you that you said it.”

Remus sighed as all three of his friends were in collective agreement that he shouldn’t go on that undercover mission. “I won’t be impulsive,” he chose his words carefully. Remus didn’t want to lie to his friends, but he didn’t want to rule out the possibility of choosing that avenue of help. “I’m not sure what we do now. Wait for orders and the next meeting.”

Lily narrowed her eyes at Remus's noncommittal answer, but she didn't call him out on it. Sirius looked like he wanted to, but he pulled himself back just as his mouth opened. Interesting. It wasn't like him to keep his opinion to himself. For now, Lily chose to assume it was due to the strange circumstances of the evening and that his mood would even back out, but she was prepared for the probable eventual uproar if he proved her wrong. Usually it was Remus who could keep Sirius balanced out, but that wouldn't be the case if Remus was the point of contention.

The things she did for these boys.

"We go about our normal lives, but with our eyes and ears open. We figure out how to make ourselves available, should the Order need us. And tonight we get pissed and stop worrying about it for a few minutes." Easier said than done, which was exactly why she wanted them all to work at the distraction. "Poker, anyone?"

Sirius groaned, because it was the expected reaction to Lily's question. She always beat them at the Muggle game, which meant he always wanted to play, because he was determined to figure out her tell eventually. Tonight, though, he didn't want to do anything other than drink and sourly not-look at one certain member of their group—which was exactly why he was going to do the opposite. Fuck being predictable. "Hope you've stocked up, mate," he said to James, nodding toward the refrigerator. "You know we're in trouble when Lils starts talking about getting sloshed."

Even James could see there was some tension still lingering, but at Lily’s suggestion, he felt his own relief. “Yes, that’s what we need. Drinks and poker,” he said and stood up so he could go retrieve more beers for them from the refrigerator. “I was prophetic and got us more than enough,” James assured them and carried four bottles over to the table. “Maybe whiskey too?”

Remus tried not to show it, but he was relieved at the change of focus too. Lily was certainly giving him a look, but it was Sirius that Remus looked at, and his friend said nothing. It was him that had brought his friends into this. There was danger ahead for all of them, and their whole world. It wouldn’t be easy to pretend things were normal. Things were already tense at the Ministry, but Remus was sure he could learn more there at the least. “I could do with some whiskey. I can go get it,” Remus said as he pushed himself from the table, and went to the living room where he knew James kept it, and gave him a moment to get away and release the breath he’d been holding.

Without commenting further, Sirius rose from his seat to follow Remus into the living room. He didn't have any particular purpose other than a subconscious need to keep the other wizard in line of sight. Contrary to his usual tendency to run at the mouth pretty much nonstop, he was quiet as he entered. He leaned against the wall just inside the room and watched Remus retrieve the intended bottle. They'd been friends for a long time, had quarrelled plenty, but never had a disagreement felt like this. Like the stakes were real.

He didn't speak until Remus turned around again. The beginnings of a renewed argument were on his lips, but they died as he saw the other's face. "I hope you're planning to share that."

Remus wondered if his relief would be temporary when he noticed that Sirius had followed him out of the kitchen. With their friendship, Remus knew that he was generally the voice of reason. James had Lily to help him get away from bad decisions, so that really left it to Remus for Sirius to rely on. Remus wasn’t sure if Sirius actually realized it, but Remus did. At least, that’s what he assumed was the reason for Sirius’s concern now as Remus was trying to flip the tables and disrupt their usual status quo.

“Of course, that’s why I came to get it,” Remus told Sirius as he picked up the whiskey to show it. “I think we all need it, don’t you?”

"Some more than others." Sirius closed the distance between them and grabbed the bottle, uncorking it and taking a swig. The whiskey burned exactly the way he liked it. Maybe it would burn away some of the fear, too—because as much as he didn't want to admit it, even to himself, that was the overwhelming emotion behind every complaint that had left his lips over the last couple of hours. He held the bottle back out to Remus before leaning in just a fraction closer. "If you disappear on us, I will chase after you."

Whether that was a vow or a threat, he hadn't quite decided. He turned on his heel and left the room again without giving his friend a chance to answer. The cards were already out on the table, and Lily gave him a rather shrewd look but thankfully didn't comment.

She held up his half-drunk beer. "Ready?"

"I'm always ready," Sirius said.

This time it was a complete and utter lie. He didn't feel ready for anything anymore.