To: The latest damsel(s) in distress
From: Captain Will Turner (Ha!)
It has recently been brought to my most dubious attention that there are.. people in need of a rescuing. My fee is not a cheap on. I require treasure, and most importantly. Rum. Lots of rum.
However, if you are in The Locker. Well mate, you're going to be staying there for quite a while. As this pirate is in no rush to head back to the watery depths.
Otherwise I am at your humble service, only not so humbly.