Levels of Comfort Who: Micah and Nic Where: the hospital When: late
Micah was completely beat. His scrubs were stained, his hair standing up from running his hands through it. It had finally calmed down. He guessed there would still be more, that the number of dead would rack up as those just barely hanging on didn’t make it through the night. He wouldn’t be surprised at any of that. It didn’t change anything. And as tired as he was he kept moving, pushing through the worst of it. Then it was well past a reasonable hour, and he’d been closing in on twenty-four hours total and he finally found himself slowing, leaning against the wall, stethoscope around his neck, rubbing his temple.
Nic hadn’t been working quite as long as Micah, having only gone on duty around 8 o’clock that morning, but the last few hours had been intense. He couldn’t recall how many people he’d picked up and was sure only about half of them had made it in alive. Eily’s family members had been lucky by comparison. His own family had been lucky. So many were dead before he even got there. He had blood on his scrubs, the black concealing most of it, but there was blood on his hands, and some on his face. He was a wreck as he walked through the hospital, a shotgun in one hand. He’d taken to carrying it with him, just in case a wolf showed up.
When he found Micah, he looked just as worn as Nic felt. Nic came to stand beside him, leaning against the wall as well. “How’re you holding up?” he asked. He was itching for a cigarette, but didn’t dare pull one out within the hospital walls.
Micah let out a heavy sigh, still rubbing the side of his head. “Barely. I haven’t...” He leaned his head back, hard against the wall. He didn’t want to say it. That he hadn’t seen anything like this since before the dome. Instead he glanced at Nic, smiling softly. “You need a shower.” The man looked like he’d been through a war zone, which he guessed Nic had.
Nic frowned slightly, sensing how tired Micah was. He wanted to suggest that he take a break, go lay down for a bit, but he had the feeling that Micah was just as likely to do that as he was. As long as people needed him, he’d keep taking their calls. “I’m sure I do,” he agreed with a little smile. “It’s been crazy out there. I’ve even got Eily driving for me.”
“The one with the brother I patched up at some point?” Micah asked, making a face. The name sounded familiar. He rubbed his temple again, knowing he needed to rest, but wanting to stick it out until dawn. “I have one of my teenaged nurses here, he’s been here since school let out. Thank god I made him stop for a little while there.” He sighed softly, fingers creeping along the wall until they found Nic’s.
“Yeah, that’s her. I think you might have also patched up her cousin. I brought them both in,” Nic said. He’d brought in a lot of people, though, and Micah wasn’t the only doctor, thank God. “You should rest too,” Nic said softly, his fingers threading through Micah’s. “Have things calmed down any? I’d keep watch if you wanted to rest your eyes.”
“There’s been a lot of people,” Micah admitted. Nic’s fingers in his were soothing though, grounding Micah and giving him a sense of self again. “If by calm you mean I haven’t watched anyone die in the past fifteen minutes, then yes.” He guessed that wasn’t really calm though. “I’d rather just be with you than rest,” he admitted, thumb running over Nic’s.
Calm was relative, Nic supposed. He wasn’t on a call, and that meant calm for him, the fact that he’d had time to seek Micah out. He kept waiting for the calls to stop, yet they kept coming, more people attacked as the night wore on. Maybe it would stop at dawn. “Then I will stay with you,” Nic said, squeezing Micah’s hand. He had to admit, being there with Micah was soothing.
Micah chuckled lightly. “And if I don’t get any sleep?” he teased, feeling that come easier than dealing with everything else.
“Then I’ll eventually drag you home to my bed,” Nic smiled, even if he realized they’d both be worthless by that point. At least he could make sure Micah got some sleep, since he knew they both needed it.
Micah raised an eyebrow at Nic. "Won't the neighbors talk?" Maybe not the best tease given Nic's insecurities, but Micah was tired. And it wasn't as if they'd properly decided on what they were anyhow.
There was a slight tensing in Nic’s shoulders, a small delay in his smile, but he found it soon enough. He knew Micah was kidding, but it was the sort that made him nervous. He didn’t want the neighbors to talk. “Only cause they’re jealous,” he said, trying to make light of it.
Micah had been watching him too closely because he had nothing else to focus on. He picked up that tension in his shoulders. He leaned in closer. “I don’t have to come by. It’s not...that important.”
“I want you to,” Nic said without hesitation. He had the feeling he’d done something to give away his discomfort, which had nothing to do with Micah and everything to do with himself. Nic didn’t know how to explain it without making it sound the opposite. “I think I’d feel better if you were there with me. I might actually sleep. And... I just want you there.”
Resting a shoulder against the wall, Micah was turned to face Nic more. “I want you to actually sleep,” he said softly, touching the hem of Nic’s shirt. “And I want to be there with you too. Especially after today, tonight. Fuck I don’t even know when it is.” He sighed a little and ran his spare hand through his hair. “But only if you’re okay with it.”
“I’m okay with it,” Nic said softly, his fingers brushing over Micah’s hand. “My hangups are... stupid. I know they are. And have nothing to do with my feelings for you.” They’d never defined anything, but he knew both of them had feelings of some sort. Nic’s grew deeper each day, which he couldn’t ignore, even if they made him nervous.
Micah shook his head. “They aren’t stupid. They’re there and I want to help. What can I do to help? Tell me what they are.” He wanted to help. It would make it easier for them to focus on the fact that there definitely were feelings there.
“It’s just not a lifestyle I’m used to... with people knowing,” Nic said, looking up at Micah. “I feel like they’re judging me, whispering, but I don’t know why I care. I’m happy with my choice, so it shouldn’t matter what they think.” But it did. He didn’t like it when people turned their nose up at him, or sneered in disgust. He doubted Micah liked it either. “I just need thicker skin.”
Micah listened, nodding a little. “But you aren’t happy Nic. Not completely. I know you’re happy here, but...if you’re worried you’re going to stop being happy.” He didn’t expect Nic to be out like he was, that wasn’t it. But he had a sinking feeling that it wouldn’t get better. “Your skin is thick enough.” He tugged on Nic’s shirt a little more then let go leaning back, farther away.
“I won’t stop being happy,” Nic said, panic flooding him. This is why he shouldn’t have said anything. Skylar was wrong. Micah wouldn’t want to be with him if he knew what Nic worried about. He wouldn’t want to risk it, but Nic was willing to, no matter how uncomfortable it might make him at times. “Just bear with me a little, please,” he said, leaning towards Micah as he pulled away. “I’ll get over it.”
Micah tilted his head and frowned. “I don’t expect that. I don’t want you to do something that upsets you. That’s not fair to you.”
“I’m not doing something that upsets me,” Nic pleaded, his hand squeezing Micah’s. “Being with you makes me happy. What other people say doesn’t matter. It just grates on me that they feel the need to say it.”
“What have they said?” Micah said, looking at Nic. “Has someone said something to you?”
“It’s just the little insults,” Nic said softly, looking down to watch his thumb gently stroke Micah’s hand. “‘Fag’, ‘queer’, ‘pillow biter’... They’re never loud enough to draw much attention, but they make sure I hear them. It’s some guys at the station, some guys at the bar...” Nic shrugged, figuring he couldn’t do much about it, not without making it worse.
That made Micah sigh, leaning back against the wall. “Assholes.” He rubbed his cheek, where the scar was. “You know I never got pillow biter? I mean how many people do the same fucking thing in whatever hook up?” He looked over at Nic and shook his head. “I didn’t want that for you. I’m sorry.”
Micah’s response earned a tiny little smile, even if Nic was uncomfortable with the admission. Micah had to have dealt with it himself at some point, maybe still did. It was just a new experience to Nic, one he didn’t enjoy. No one would. “It’s not your fault they’re assholes,” Nic said. “And nothing they can say would make me want to be with you any less. They can’t change that. Even if you weren’t in my life, I’d still be what I am.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t really do this to sign you up to be ridiculed.” Micah looked over at Nic, still frowning. “I mean really, they should be jealous, you’re dating a doctor.” He bit at his lip, pausing for a moment. “We don’t have to be dating.”
“You think I didn’t know what I was starting when I stayed at your house that night?” Nic asked, licking his lips. He knew there was a chance it would get out. He knew people would talk. The town was too small for people not to. They had nothing better to do... except maybe fight off wolves. “I want to be dating. And not just because you’re the sexiest doctor I know.”
“Doesn’t have to be a serious thing,” Micah said. “Or a public thing.” Because Nic was definitely worth being quiet about things. Definitely better than not seeing him.
Nic couldn’t help but feel disheartened, struggling with the fact that Micah seemed so willing to break things off when the man made him ridiculously happy. While Nic had his insecurities, he hadn’t wanted to do anything that might jeopardize his relationship with Micah. Talking about things seemed to have done so. “How serious we are or aren’t has nothing to do with anyone else,” Nic said. “Can we not figure that out without their opinions?”
Micah drifted closer, looking down at Nic, reaching up to touch his jaw with his fingers. “We can. I just want you to be happy, not a target. If you’re unhappy outside of it...then what?”
“I never said I was unhappy,” Nic said, his eyes shutting for a moment as Micah’s fingers touched his jaw. He’d never received that kind of touch from a man before Micah, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like it. “I’m just... dealing with something I suppose you’ve already learned to deal with.”
“Something I didn’t have a choice but to deal with.” Micah said with a shrug of his shoulders. “I also didn’t date properly for a few years there.” He watched Nic, smiling softly, keeping the touch going. “I still think you kind of don’t have to.”
There it was. The problem with being what he was. There was an easy way out, but to take it meant ignoring a side of himself that Nic didn’t want to ignore, not any longer. “I have to if I want to date you,” Nic pointed out, instinctively leaning a little into Micah’s touch. “And I do. I believe you’re worth it. So I guess the questions is, are you willing to keep seeing me while I learn to put up with the peanut gallery?”
Micah was a little surprised by the admission, but touched at the same time. “I was willing to sneak around with you if it made your life easier and I still got to see you. I think I can wait out you dealing with some jerks. Though I wouldn’t recommend hitting anyone. That doesn’t quite work out like you’d think.”
Nic didn’t mind a little sneaking around, but that was for entirely different reasons. It was mostly that sneaking around felt like naughty fun. He would have suggested it, except he didn’t want Micah to think it was because he was scared to be seen with him, or ashamed in any way. “Okay, no hitting,” Nic smiled. “I think I can manage that. Or I hope so. Though now I want to know who you hit.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t actually hit anyone. Tried. Failed. And it was messy.” Micah laughed at himself. “So your place? Later?”
Nic laughed with him, shaking his head. He couldn’t see Micah hurting a fly and that seemed to be appropriate. “I’d like that,” he said. “Might be much later. Think you can make it by dawn?”
“I think I can. I think at dawn I might be dead,” Micah watched Nic then leaned in more, kissing him lightly, not caring that they were in the hallway.
“Don’t go and die on me,” Nic said, eyes shutting as Micah kissed him. He was too tired to care who might see them at the moment. “I can’t take anymore death.”
“I won’t die,” Micah promised, voice lower as he stayed close to Nic. “Be careful out there okay?” he asked, knowing Nic would be going back into it. He’d seen the gun, even if he hadn’t said anything about it.
“Will do,” Nic said softly, leaning in to kiss Micah once more. It was a quick kiss, but one that lingered, hoping for more to come. The night had been long and was looking to be longer. All he had to do was make it till dawn and then he could rest. Both of them could rest.
“See you then,” Micah said with a grin, not able to help but grin when Nic kissed him. He let out a sigh not wanting to leave, but knowing he was needed. “I have to get back to it,” he said before pushing away from the wall, watching Nic even as he took his first few steps away, walking backward for a moment before he was turning back around.
“See you then,” Nic echoed after him, smiling as he bit his bottom lip, watching Micah walk away. He wanted to follow after him, but he knew Micah had people to save. And then his comm was going off and he had his own work to do. With a little smile, he picked up his gun and headed back out to the ambulance.