better than fighting & worrying Who: Darcy and Noah When: Mid-afternoon Where: Noah’s place
Noah had spent the better part of the morning wandering. He’d left as quietly as he could from Darcy and Avery’s place, pausing a long moment to look at Darcy as she slept. Then he’d headed out and meandered through the central park until he wasn’t exactly sure where he was. Which was fine with him because he’d still had plenty to think about.
He probably would have done better to stay with Darcy and sleep rather than do what he was doing. All the thinking about what he’d witnessed between Avery and Darcy the day before wasn’t helping him any. It was mostly confusing him. Like the fact that Darcy had seemed so sensitive to his friendship with Avery even though he’d been trying to include her too, had wanted it to be the three of them. She’d worried before that maybe he liked Avery but he wasn’t sure why she thought that. He was searching his brain, trying to figure out if there were things there that he was only subconsciously aware of and that was what Darcy was picking up on. He couldn’t find anything. He simply didn’t like Avery that way. And after seeing her bait and goad and be snotty to Darcy’s face, he wasn’t sure how much he liked Avery.
When the overthinking had his mind whirling, he decided to go home and shut it off. He went inside, remembering the times he’d come in and known Darcy was there somewhere. He smiled at that thought as he stripped out of his clothes and put on a pair of sweats and a tshirt. He laid down, his arms behind his head, but his mind didn’t immediately shut off.
Darcy had spent the morning at Eily’s after speaking with her, eating whatever Eily cooked and trying to just relax. She knew she had to talk to Noah, to find out what was going on between him and Avery and she knew she likely had to talk to her cousin again, but she wasn’t in a hurry to do either one. So she sat at Eily’s kitchen table, eating and talking about nonsense until she finally opted to head home. She snuck into her own house, not even looking to see if Avery was around, just heading for a shower and clean clothes then she grabbed her bag and headed out again.
She was going to go to the library or something, somewhere that wasn’t Noah’s, but Noah’s was where she was. Standing there outside his door she stared at it, wrapped up against the cold and rain, but not making an effort to go inside just yet. After a long moment she knocked, the first time she’d done that and not just let herself into his house. She wasn’t sure if he was home and if he wasn’t, that was probably a saving grace.
Noah had just turned over, punching his pillow to attempt to make it the right shape for sleeping when he heard a knock on the door. Immediately his mind went to Avery because Darcy didn't knock. He'd told Avery he would text her if he wanted to hang out or whatever in the next couple of days. Why was she here?
He got to his feet, giving himself a minute or two to decide whether or not he wanted to pretend he wasn't home by finding a band to tie his hair back with. But maybe it wasn't Avery. Maybe it was Sylvia. He supposed she might come out in this weather and if she needed him, he'd sure as hell be there for her. So he went to the door, not entirely sure what to expect but it definitely wasn't Darcy. He blinked, looking a little confused at the fact she'd knocked. "Hey, come in. It's terrible out there." He stepped back so she could enter.
He’d taken a moment to answer which meant Darcy was taking a step back. Wasn’t home. She’d tried. That meant she didn’t have to come back any time soon right? They’d talk eventually. And then he could tell her like Avery more and wanted what Avery could give him more and she could just go home and cry about it. She really was going to have a whole host of things to talk about in therapy wasn’t she?
She’d almost made it off his stoop when the door opened and she froze, caught standing there, arms wrapped around herself, wishing he wasn’t so handsome dressed like that. “I’m...I don’t have to. I wasn’t trying to interrupt.”
She looked so tiny with her arms wrapped around herself and she looked like she'd been about to leave. He felt her hesitance and knew she must be feeling off about yesterday too. At least, he hoped that was what it was. Not another family member making her feel badly about herself or worse, coming to break things off with him because of his friendship with Avery. He forced himself to stop the whirl of thoughts and simply focus on her.
He waved his hand, inviting her in with a little more insistence. "You're never interrupting," he said with a small smile. "I was just surprised that you knocked. You're always allowed to walk in, you know?" he asked. The standing invitation a testament to the fact he never planned on doing anything he didn't want her to know about.
Darcy shrugged a little. “I wasn’t sure if I still was. Not after...this morning.” He’d left before she woke up, leaving her alone in the cold and she’d taken it as a sign. She took a moment longer before the warmth of the house winning out and she headed inside, but kept her arms wrapped around herself.
Noah gave an involuntary shiver at having stood at the door so long but he didn't mind because she was coming in. Once she was in he closed the door and rubbed his arms a little. "I just needed to think. Things were weird yesterday and I wanted to get my thoughts together before I talked to you again." He tried to be sure he didn't sound accusatory or anything like that. It was more his thing that he needed. Not that it had helped a whole lot. Maybe talking to Darcy would help more instead.
Darcy wasn’t doing a good job of making eye contact with him, looking more towards the ground. He didn’t sound upset, but at the same time, he’d needed to think. That wasn’t a good sign. “Any...luck figuring things out?”
Noah drifted closer to her, wondering whether he should give her a hug or a kiss or something by way of greeting. He tried to read her body language but she wasn't looking at him. His brow furrowed slightly with concern. "I figured a few things out, yeah."
Darcy looked up at him then, not sure what to say, biting at her lower lip. “What things?” she asked softly, dreading whatever came next. It couldn’t be good right?
He supposed he might as well be honest about the things he did conclude on. "Well, like you and Avery are big girls. You know better than I would if you can be friends and I shouldn't try to force the issue. It's not my responsibility to make you like each other. I should have stayed out of that yesterday and I'm sorry I didn't."
That wasn’t entirely awful. It was enough to get Darcy to move further into the house, headed for the kitchen so they could sit. “You’re right,” she told him, looking at him. “We’re...there’s a lot wrong there. And she’s not exactly easy to like.” Part of it was Darcy’s fault, she got that, but Avery was mean in her own way.
Noah followed her, encouraged by the fact she was heading further into the house. He settled in a chair at the kitchen table, his eyes on Darcy's. Before yesterday Noah would have begged to differ but if that was how Avery was in private with Darcy all the time, he could see why Darcy wouldn't like her. He nodded. "Other than how she talks to you, what else is on your list?" he asked, referencing the list of things she held against Avery. He was curious even if he didn't really have any business knowing.
Darcy sat across from him, wanting to be closer, but not going there just yet. “She told you about Liam. Without saying something to me first. She just...told you. And I have to wonder why she did. If she did it to be mean...to break us up. And then...how she’s a different person around you, like she’s trying to take all your attention or flirt or something and I just don’t know what to do.”
Noah chewed the inside of his lip as he listened to her. He was questioning Avery's motivations too now because he wasn't sure he knew her the way he'd thought he did before yesterday. Not that he'd known her well since they'd only hung out a couple times but he hadn't expected what he'd seen. "She seemed to think I knew about Liam," he said, his tone a bit noncommittal though, not really defending Avery. "She's really not funny and upbeat when she's around other people? I mean, I'd get why she wouldn't be with you... but not with anyone but me?" He frowned.
“Yeah, but...why tell you? And yell at me afterward. God she’s just...it’s because she doesn’t like me.” Darcy sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “Maybe she is, I’ve just never seen her like that and then she turned a corner on me last night it was like she was a different person.” Rubbing her hand at her temple, Darcy didn’t look at him. “I’d get it if you’d rather...I know I’m not like that.”
Noah didn't really have an answer for that and maybe it had been rhetorical anyway. "I don't know. I don't think I understand Avery. She was different yesterday from how she usually is when it's just her and I too." He frowned again. "If I'd rather what?"
Darcy let out a deep breath then looked at him. “If you’d rather be with Avery. You two seem...super friendly and maybe she makes you happier.” And Darcy’s stomach twisted in a knot over the thought. “I sort of felt more than once like...like I’d walked in on something going on between you two.”
That's what he'd been hoping she hadn't meant. "I mean, Darcy, this is the second time you've said this," he said quietly, looking off to the side. "Is... are you trying to find a way to dump me? Is that what it's about?" He felt tensed, waiting to understand her reasoning for trying to palm him off on Avery again. He tried not to wonder if she'd decided she'd rather be with Liam because of yesterday or maybe even before then.
Darcy shook her head. “I don’t want you to be with Avery at all. And I’m not trying to dump you. It’s just if you’re with her already or were going to before I showed up or something else then it’s not fair to be second. And even now I’m thinking being second wouldn’t be awful because I want to be with you.” The words weren’t making sense and she could hear it, but she wasn’t sure what else to say. “I like you a lot Noah. An awful lot. But...I’m not like Avery and we’re not like you are with her. I just want to be sure you like...being with me and not just being with me.”
Noah caught himself before he looked at her like she'd sprouted nine heads. If he was with Avery already? If Darcy was second? "This is really going on in your head?" he asked, his voice even. "Because we've only ever interacted to play our game or to be intimate." He could, he supposed, see why she'd think that maybe he was interested in her for sex. "I don't want you to be like Avery. I like you, Darcy, and I'd kind of like a chance to show you somewhere other than a bedroom. But... that was me yesterday. That's who I am under normal circumstances." He didn't want to directly ask her, but what if she hadn't liked what she'd seen of him. Maybe she wouldn't want him if that was who he was on a regular basis.
“It is a little yeah,” Darcy said, voice soft, quiet. She glanced up at him, reaching for his hand. “I’d like to try, outside of here or the bedroom or whatever.” She stared at him for a moment trying to let what he was saying sink in and process. “I wasn’t upset with you Noah. Or not how you were, just...how Avery seemed more important.”
Noah took her hand and looked at it, his thumb brushing gently. "I don't want to be with Avery. I don't even know if I like or trust Avery but that's beside the point. I don't want to be with anyone but you. What can I do to show you so that this doesn't continue to eat at you?" he asked, his tone genuine, his eyes raising to hers then.
Darcy sighed out of relief. “I don’t know. I don’t want to tell you not to be friends with her because that’s not right. But I don’t know how not to worry.” She looked at him, leaning closer and wanting to lean more into him, but the table was in the way. “I guess we just figure out how this whole girlfriend thing works.”
Noah was glad she hadn't asked him not to be friends with Avery. Mostly because he wanted to make that choice on his own. And because he hoped there would be a way for Darcy to understand that his friendship with her cousin wasn't something he wanted more than her. "I get it," he said and nodded. "I'd probably feel the same way if you had a guy friend that I suddenly saw you being different with. I'm sorry you've worried. I really just wanted us to all have fun together yesterday. I didn't realize how bad it is between you though." He gave her hand a gentle tug, inviting her closer.
The tug was enough to get Darcy out of her chair and around the table towards him. “My only real guy friend is Aidan and I’m supposed to be different around him. He’s like my brother.” She sighed again and shook her head. “Avery and I go in waves and I’ve been trying to be better, but she’s dead set on not giving me a chance or something. I guess she just doesn’t like me. And I don’t care for her much either, we’re never going to be best friends, but maybe we can get to point where she’s not calling me a slut and I’m not calling her a prude.”
He stood when she got closer and put his arms around her. He gave her a little smile and nodded. "I wouldn't ever worry you were dating him behind my back either so that's good." He listened to her talk about the difficulty between her and Avery. He didn't like it at all that Avery would call Darcy a slut. His look darkened briefly. "I'm surprised you haven't killed each other yet. I don't know how you manage to live in the same house together with all of this between you."
“Ew yeah, not that kind of cousins,” Darcy said making a face. Aidan was her best friend, sure, but gross. She leaned into Noah, taking a deep breath against his chest. “We avoid each other a lot. It works best.” She was quiet for a moment, not looking up at him. “Why’d you leave without saying goodbye?”
"Glad to hear it," he said wryly even though he hadn't even given it a moment of thought. He wasn't so much concerned about outside influences causing problems for him and Darcy. He figured that if they were going to have problems, they'd come from internal places. "Sounds like a very good idea," he said of she and Avery avoiding each other. He kissed the top of her head. "You were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you. I'm a horrible boyfriend already. I hardly said hello and then I didn't say goodbye."
“You aren’t horrible,” Darcy said, shaking her head against his chest. “But I was worried you just were avoiding me. That you didn’t want to talk to me.” She leaned back enough to see his eyes, watching them for the truth in what he might say next.
He gazed back down at her for a moment before admitting, "I guess there was a little of that too. Only until I was sure of my thoughts, though. It was a little rough yesterday. But you have my word that I wasn't trying to figure out if I still wanted to be with you. And you have my word that I will never avoid you permanently." Well, he supposed that if she turned into an axe murderer he'd be certain to avoid her but he highly doubted she would.
While she appreciated his honesty, that stung a little bit. “I’m sorry. I’m awful and Avery just took it out in the open. I’m sure she doesn’t have anything nice to say about me when you two are alone either.” Darcy sighed again and then slipped from his grip. “I hate that I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me.”
Noah shook his head. "You are not awful. And honestly, everything Avery did where you were concerned was so out of the blue to me. She literally has never had that attitude toward you when we've talked. She's said nice things about you to me. When I saw her baiting you and then reacting snottily I was kind of shocked. And I really didn't like it." He frowned that she'd move away, letting his arms fall to his side. "You didn't. I didn't know what to say and if I'd tried to say something I wouldn't have been able to say it the right way. I just needed a little time away so that I could talk to you like this instead of being mostly confused and confusing."
“She hasn’t?” Darcy was surprised to hear that. “Maybe she was trying to impress you then. Or make you see the me she sees.” Which just pointed back towards Avery trying to break them up or steal Noah which left Darcy unsettled. “Maybe we shouldn’t try...the three of us again. We can hang out outside, but not so much with her.” She watched him, taking in what he said and opting to believe it instead of the doubts in her mind. “Was there anything else you figured out?”
"She did explain a few things about you that weren't entirely positive but there was no attitude with it. No indication of the way she started treating you when I was there." It made him wonder what exactly Avery was doing when she talked to him just the two of them. Though she hadn't seemed all that concerned that he saw it when they were with Darcy. "I don't really want to try to do the three of us again. I'm still not sure if I want to hang out with her at all." He was still of two minds on that and probably wouldn't be able to decide until he'd spoken with Avery again. "I figured out that I want to ask you on a date. A proper one. Would that be something you'd want to do?" he asked, unable to disguise the hopefulness in his tone.
“Maybe she’s just a good liar when I’m not around,” Darcy said with a sigh. “I don’t think you should stop being friends with her because of me. That’s not fair.” And Avery would blame Darcy for ruining their friendship and Darcy didn’t want to hear it. At his question she looked up surprised. “A...like a real date?” No one had ever asked her on a real date before.
"No, if I stopped it would be because of me. Because it sounds like what you just said. Like maybe she's just a good liar." He wanted no part in a friendship like that. Especially if it had to do with trying to flirt with him like Darcy had said earlier. He was giving Avery the benefit of the doubt until he spoke to her though. "Yeah, like maybe a movie and dinner? I'd suggest a picnic but the weather has been a little bit much for sitting outside." Was she hesitating because she didn't want to and didn't want to hurt his feelings?
Darcy’s shoulders fell, reaching for his arm. “Don’t let me...spoil her for you. You two seemed like you had good thing going.” It made her stomach turn over because part of her wanted to scream ‘Yes!’ but she refrained. It wasn’t her choice to make. “Dinner and a movie,” Darcy echoed with a smile, moving closer to him. “That sounds nice actually. Really nice. Normal.” And normal sounded wonderful.
"That's just it. She spoiled it herself, Darcy. All of that crap she said to you and the attitude. It was like seeing an entirely different person. Even if you weren't part of the picture I would feel the same way about it." He felt relieved when she moved closer again and responded positively to his invitation. "I know I could use a dose of normal and trying some of those sneaky yawn and stretch moves to get my arm around your shoulder without you noticing," he said with the beginning of a grin.
"Yeah well she hates me so I get special treatment." Darcy rested her cheek against his shoulder, smiling softly blaming the smile on the date and not Avery screwing things up for herself for once. "You know you're allowed to out your arm around me in public without trying to sneak it." She wasn't sure if she was ready to be one of those couples that couldn't take their hands off each other, but she would like having his arm around her in the movie.
He didn't want to think or talk about anyone hating Darcy so he let her statement drop, putting an arm around her, fingers gently playing with her hair. "Am I?" he asked sounding pleased. He wasn't likely to want over the top PDA either but it was good to know he could touch her and be close in public. "So when do you want to do this date?"
"You are. Maybe even at school?" Darcy leaned into him with a smile. It was going to be interesting to see how it felt to be around their classmates, but that was the point right? "Tomorrow night?" The sooner the better.
Noah sighed pleasantly, happy that things were okay between them and hoping that they could stay that way. "Tomorrow night sounds good to me," he answered with a smile. It would be his first real date too and there was a level of excitement around getting to do something normal kids their age did before the zombies and the domes. "I'll pick you up at your place? We can pretend I have a motorcycle to ride there on."
Darcy felt good about the whole thing, thinking it might make everything worth the while if he wanted to take her out and be seen with her. Laughing a little she nodded. "You should come pick me up. And now I wish you had a motorcycle. That'd be hot." And probably give Patrick an aneurism.
Noah was so glad to hear her laugh. He hadn’t realized how tense he’d gotten while they were talking but he was relaxing more and more. Sometimes it felt like Darcy was a daydream waiting to blow away in the wind. He wasn’t sure why she was so sure he didn’t want her sometimes but he wanted to do whatever he could to dispel that. “I could see you in a leather jacket riding behind me. Yep, that’d be hot.” And probably make her family hate him but he could imagine, right? He kissed the top of her head.
“Now I’ll have to see if I can find a leather jacket…” Darcy teased, though she might be able to. That’d be something fun to look for. Someone had to have one for sale. Might be worth saving her tips for. Leaning up she pulled at his shirt to pull him into a proper kiss.
Noah couldn't help but grin at that. "It would definitely suit you." He really did think she'd look hot in a leather jacket on a motorcycle. Or anywhere really. He was looking forward to being out in public with her too. There was a sense of pride attached to it. He had a great girlfriend and he wanted people to know. He let her pull him in, he was more than willing, and kissed her warmly with all his affection for her behind it.
The kiss made her toes curl and press into him, still holding on to his shirt. “Maybe you’ll get lucky then,” Darcy murmured against his lips before smiling impishly. “But it might depend on what you do right now…”
Noah liked the hold she had on him, keeping him close. He lifted a brow at what she was saying, pulling his mind from getting lucky toward what she'd probably meant about getting lucky to see her in the jacket. Though it shot right back where it had been a moment later. "Oh?" he replied before kissing her again, this time with less affection and more heat, only pulling back finally to breathe and grin against her lips.
Darcy made a soft noise into the kiss, glad that he was following the thought process she was having. Because that was where she wanted his mind, focused on them and the good things between them. “Oh,” she agreed, nodding a little. “Lots of oh.”
He also really liked that sound she made. He was completely focused on her. There was no one and nothing else right now. Just Darcy. "Shall I go for more oh?" he asked though it was rhetorical because he was kissing her again, fingers finding her hair this time and tangling gently. The rush from kissing her felt so good that he might have stood there and done it all day.
She nodded at his question, only stopping because he was kissing her and she had that to do instead. Pressing against him more she tightened her grip on his shirt and let out a soft murmur into the kiss to let him know that he was doing everything right.
Noah really liked this part of things with Darcy but he was a little worried that she was going to go back to thinking he only wanted the physical stuff they did together. So he pulled back slowly even though he really didn't want to. He gently cupped her cheek with one hand, his eyes communicating his focus on and feelings for her.
Darcy slowed looking up concerned a little until she saw his face. She leaned into his hand, smiling softly. “Everything okay?” she whispered softly.
He nodded and smiled. "Everything's really good, Darcy," he said and the fact he meant it was apparent in his tone. He was determined to show her he liked so much more of her even though the way these kisses were going had him thinking about picking her up and taking her into his room. Because he definitely like that too. "Ev-Everything okay with you?"
“Now that there’s this...it’s better.” She had been so worried there’d be no more of this, no more of them. That he’d take his funny jokes with Avery and be happier that way than here, with her. She ran her hand up his arm until it was over his hold on her cheek. “I’m glad we’re okay.”
"There's always this as far as I'm concerned… but I don't want you to think there's only this. Because there's so much more to you in my eyes." And there was and if she asked him, he'd tell her. But he figured the best way for her to be certain would be to show her and he intended to do just that. "I'm glad we are too. I like you so much." Such a dorky thing to say but it was true.
If he hadn’t meant to bait her it was still doing the job. “What else is there?” she asked, pulling him closer. It was a good thing to hear though, that she was more than just this as nice as this was. “I like you so much too,” she admitted, not thinking it was dorky either. She did like him so much, more than she should after so soon, but Noah had gotten under her skin and she liked it.
Noah thought a moment, composing his thoughts. "You're smart. You found me in the oddest place and I feel like, if you wanted to, you'd find me anywhere in this dome. You're feisty about and loyal to who you care for and being on that list means the person feels very important." Importance being something he intrinsically valued. He kissed her forehead as he formed more thoughts. "Passionate, emotional, vulnerable…" All things he valued intensely about her because they were so new to him. Having spent so much time with Sylvia who, in spite of the fact he cared a lot about her, was almost the opposite, these qualities about Darcy had him like a moth to a flame.
“I bet I could. I would find you.” She was like Aidan like that. She’d go looking no matter where Noah went and just thinking it made it click a little more about her cousin. Could she blame him if standing her with this boy she knew she’d do the same thing. “You are important.” He was right. She was loyal to the ones that mattered, fiercely so. “Vulnerable doesn’t sound all that good,” but the kiss had her leaning into him, eyes falling shut.
He smiled and nodded, his look saying he fully believed she'd find him if that was what she wanted to do. She was equally as determined about things in her own way as he was as far as he could tell. He smiled even more when she told him he was important. He wanted to thank her but did you thank someone for that? He didn't know. It seemed strange. "Vulnerable is good though. It means that I have some chance of knowing how you feel. And of having how I feel about you make a difference. I like that you show me that side of you sometimes. I never want to hurt it."
“It’s not a sign of weakness?” Darcy didn’t want to be weak, but that was an O’Reilly trait. The women were just as strong as the men and sometimes stronger. “You do make a difference. Promise.” She leaned up to press a kiss against his jaw, nodding. “I hope you wouldn’t.”
"I don't think so," he replied. "I think it takes a lot of guts to be vulnerable. To let people … me see your heart. I admire you for that." Because he wasn't sure he was the same way with her. And maybe she wasn't purposely vulnerable but he did find that part of her very beautiful. It was the part that wasn't quiet when they made love and the part of her that was willing to talk to him when she felt unsure about things rather than shutting him off. If she wasn't able to be like that with him, he didn't think they'd ever make it past anything. He smiled at her kiss but gently touched her chin to give her a very direct look. "If I ever do, Darcy? Please know that it wasn't on purpose."
“Admire me?” The rest made sense, but that part was a little confusing and made her wonder if she didn’t see that part of him. She reached for his hand, holding it between both of hers. “Promise?”
He nodded. "Yeah. You step over so much to be open with me. It means a lot, Darcy." He hadn't quite realized until this moment just how much it did mean to him but he was grateful for it. He gave her hands a squeeze and nodded. "I promise."
“I didn’t realize I was stepping over things.” She smiled a little and ducked her eyes. “I guess...If I didn’t want to be with you, then I didn’t have to be open. If it was just a game or just for fun or sex or whatever.”
"Oh," he said, a little unsure of himself then. "I meant things like when you feel like you're awful, which I really don't understand, but you share it with me anyway." His brows furrowed slightly thinking maybe he, in all his overthinkingness, had possibly invented this about her. Whatever it was, he was glad she was open with him. He nodded and pressed his lips to hers briefly. "I'm glad it's not just a game."
Darcy sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I am awful. Apparently. I don’t know. My cousins hate me. Except Aidan, but he says I’m different around him, but god, they’re so annoying and they sometimes think like this collective, like there’s nothing else outside of them…” Darcy tapered off and winced. “Sorry. But I get it. I’m glad I have someone to talk to about things.” Though she supposed she’d soon have therapy to do the same thing. “I don’t think it ever was just a game.”
Noah shook his head. "You're not awful. That's just it. Sure you're not friendly with Avery but seriously? She's worse. You at least don't pretend to like her when you don't. You're straightforward and maybe that's what your family doesn't appreciate? I don't know. All I do know is I do." He bit his lower lip, looking down at her, feeling like his sharing was making her feel worse and that had not been the goal. "Really?"
Darcy was quiet for a moment. “They’re...all we have left. Some of us are still adjusting. I guess...maybe I lost the most important people in my life already. I knew I had to move on.” Or maybe she was just a rebellious teen. “I just want to be different. I wanted to before and then the zombies, then here and...now there’s so few of us…” She shrugged a little and looked up at him. “Really. When I found you by the orphanage...I didn’t really want to be playing. Or just...wanted to play the part where I kept getting to see you.”
Noah nodded, understanding. "If I had family like you do, I'd definitely hold onto them somehow." He'd probably give his allegiance a little more freely than Darcy gave to hers but that might have only been a thought because he didn't have family like hers. "Just don't let them break you all the way down, okay? Just because they're family doesn't automatically make them completely right." His face softened with her admission about their game. "I felt the same way though sometimes I think that now? With how we feel about each other… that the game could be even more fun. I'd really enjoy the challenge of finding you somewhere or vice versa and spending time with you somewhere new."
“I don’t hate them, and I don’t want to lose them, I just...want to experience things outside of them.” She tugged at his shirt lightly to remind him that he was definitely outside of her family. “So you want to play again? What’re the rules?” She could be interested in that, since it had been fun the first time and this time...well she knew what she’d get when she did find him.
He didn't think she really hated them. Not if she took it to heart when they said negative things about her. "So do that," he said with a slight smile. "But I warn you that the more you see of me, the more of a dork I'll become." He was sort of teasing but he kind of meant that. He did feel like that, their game, their intimacy having sort of masked it because he'd been so focused. "Let's see. The rules are that, and after our date of course, one of us takes a turn being somewhere different than usual. And the other goes looking. When we find each other, we get one wish from the other. And we can't refuse but we can't ask anything that wouldn't be okay normally. What do you think?"
“I don’t think you’re that dorky. Silly sometimes,” she’d seen that recently, “but not dorky. Even if you were, I like you how you are Noah. If you’re so different I’m worried you’re hiding things from me.” She watched him, curious if that was the case. She’d hate for that to be the case. “I like those rules very much. Wishes and all. Who starts?”
Noah smiled at her. "You're the optimist in this, huh?" he asked, his tone a little teasing because he was pretty sure he was the biggest dork out there in Delphi. He flew by the seat of his pants with her and he knew it. "I'm not hiding anything from you, you have my word on that. It's … it's more like it hasn't come up yet. That's all." He didn't want her to ever think he'd lie or be sneaky. He went out of his way and out onto limbs to be honest with her. "Should we decide tomorrow after our date?"
“Why hasn’t it come up? How do we make it come up?” She didn’t want Avery to have pieces of Noah she didn’t have. It wasn’t fair. He was supposed to be hers, not mostly hers and partially Avery’s. “Sounds fair.”
Noah's lips twitched up at one corner. "Probably because most of the time we've spent together has been late at night when we're tired. And I know I've had a bit on my mind when I come find you too usually. I think you probably get the base Noah because of that." She probably had the purest parts of him. "We get it to come up by doing normal things like we're going to do."
“The base Noah like...the real Noah?” Darcy asked, running her hand over his chest. “The important parts?” She knew he was right. Most of the time they were caught up in their own minds and looking for relief, but maybe they were coming out of it. Maybe there was something else. “So more normal things. Got it.”
He nodded though he felt a little sheepish admitting that. That his basest form was a sleepy, slightly sex-focused dork. But he'd paid enough attention to find things other than intimacy that he appreciated about her. There was a reason this had stopped being a game for him. "I'm looking forward to seeing that Darcy," he said quietly, hopefully.
She didn’t mind that that was the base him at all. She liked that version of him. “Which one? The one from school? She’s boring.” Darcy pulled him in closer, kissing him again. “But she likes you too.”
"I've seen the Darcy from school and she was the one who sparked my interest in the first place. Definitely not boring," he affirmed and kissed her back, giving her hair a gentle tug with the hand still tangled there. "She's something else, that Darcy."
“Well she’s your girlfriend now, so if you’d bother to go to class you could see more of her,” Darcy chided gently, arms going around his waist. She’d enjoyed that playful tug of her hair, the way he was still tangled up in her. “What do you like about her?”
Noah breathed a laugh, his shoulders shaking slightly. "Heard. I have no other reason to be out of class from now on so I'll definitely get to see more of that girl with the red hair that I find so attractive. My girlfriend." He looked over her face and decided to tell her what he'd first seen in her. "You've said I'm not a dork, but I am. The first thing I noticed about you was your freckles. I counted all of the ones I could see when you had your hair up." His face turned red.
She hoped he included skipping school with her cousin, but didn’t say it. “Maybe even hold her hand between classes,” Darcy teased lightly, but smiled softly when his cheeks pinked. Reaching up she covered them with her hands, pulling him in for a kiss. “That’s just sweet. No one else likes the freckles. I don’t even like the freckles.”
Noah nodded. "Definitely hold her hand between classes and whenever else she wants me to." He smiled, his eyes closing briefly when she pulled him in for another kiss. He liked when she did that because it meant to him that she wanted to kiss him even when he wasn't thinking about kissing her. "I think they make you unique. These days I like that I get to see the ones on your face more, to be honest."
“I like that idea. Normal people at school. It’ll be fun.” She almost laughed shaking his her head. “At least you didn’t say the ones elsewhere.” But it was a sweet thing to say and that shone in her eyes.
“I’m looking forward to it, honestly.” Noah had been thinking that perhaps the reason they hadn’t gotten to be normal people yet wasn’t all on his shoulders. That perhaps she hadn’t wanted Liam to know but he didn’t focus on that. It was in the past. He chuckled softly, eyeing her with a bit of mischief. “I do kind of like the ones elsewhere too but I like looking at your face most.”
Part of it was not wanting Liam to know. Or anyone. But they weren't a hidden thing anymore and lying seemed pointless. "Lucky for you, that's the right answer."
“It’s always nice to get some of the answers right.” Especially with her. He wanted all his answers to be right but he was sure he’d get some of them wrong. His main concern was making sure she knew he liked her, only her, and not just because of the physical part of their relationship. “What’s one thing that would make our date tomorrow great?”
"You get a lot of the answers right." He was constantly saying the right things. Darcy kissed him lightly before shrugging. "Flowers and a kiss goodnight?"
Noah wondered if that was true or if she was just happy. It seemed like he made a mess of things periodically and had her feeling self-conscious or like he was going to decide he didn't want to be with her anymore. He smiled then teased lightly. "The flowers you'll get. I'll see what I can do about the kiss."
"I'll have to hope for the best then," Darcy said before sighing and resting against his chest. "Should we just hang out here and try to stay warm?" There wasn't much else to do with the power being out. Hopefully it would be fixed before their date.
Noah’s arms went automatically around her and kissed her gently. “If you want to,” he said. He’d like it if she stayed. He hadn’t been sure she’d want to earlier but he had a feeling she might now. “I could count the freckles on your face and you can reassure me that I’m not a total dork.”
Darcy rolled her eyes. "You're not a dork. And you don't want to stare at me for that long." She kissed him again then ducked out of his arms to pull Noah towards the fire. She did want to stay. She'd wanted to stay once she was sure what he wanted. Now that she knew he wanted her and not her cousin, she wanted to stay all evening and into the morning.
“You only think that because you haven’t seen me when I’m talking about you to other people,” he said with a bit of a grin as he allowed himself to be led toward the fire. There was a beanbag chair in front of it where he sometimes sat if it was cold. He sat on it and made room for her beside him. “And I do want to stare at you for that long.”
"Who else are you talking to me about?" Darcy asked, somewhat surprised he was. Maybe that was a good thing, but it was it was still a surprise. She sat with him, curled into his side, one arm around his middle.
“There’s this one really nice lady, a secretary in town hall, named Pearl. She always wants to know what’s happening with me. She teases me when I talk about you. Dan the janitor got in on it too at one point. So I apparently dork out pretty massively.” His cheeks were a bit red but he didn’t care. He wasn’t sure why he told Darcy so much embarrassing stuff about himself but he always seemed to end up doing it and she never made him feel stupid.
Now it was Darcy's turn to blush, burrying it in his chest. She was trying to wrap her mind around him talking about her, but it was hard to picture. He always seemed so serious. "They shouldn't tease you. That's just mean. What do you say that they make fun of?"
Noah glanced at her, watching the firelight dance on her hair and making it look like it too was on fire. “Oh I talk about you having beautiful hair and how I’m really glad I offered you a pencil. I believe I was talking about your eyes when you’re really into something - I didn’t say what - when Dan chimed in. ‘Ooh he’s got it bad,’ he says. And Pearl nods knowingly.” He chuckled softly.
Darcy looked up at him a little surprised. “Is that really what you say?” she blurted, not meaning to ask it, but not able to help it. It was surprising to hear he would say as much about her. “Do you think they’re right?”
Noah gave her a slightly confused look. "I really like you, Darcy. I can't help telling people. Does it bother you?" he asked. He smiled slightly at her second question. "I'm afraid they might be," he said as though they'd been right about a horrible disease and he was resigned to the fact he was probably dying.
Darcy smiled slightly and shook her head. “No. I’m just surprised you’d say things like that. They’re really sweet.” And were completely why his coworkers were teasing him. At his tone she stifled a laugh and sat up straighter, putting on her best serious face. “I suppose there’s nothing we can do about it then?”
His confusion went further. "Why is it surprising? Don't you know that you're beautiful and wonderful and smart and very much worth being talked about sweetly." He'd come up against this seeming utter lack of self-worth in her so often that he couldn't stop himself from asking about it now. Though he hoped it didn't upset her. He gave her a serious look, his eyes a little sad. "No, they said amputation but I said I couldn't live withoutcha, baby."
Darcy felt her heat to a bright red and shook her head hard enough that her hair moved with it. “No. I don’t I guess. I don’t think of myself that way.” But it was nice that Noah did. He was supposed to wasn’t he? She couldn’t keep the game up, giggling too much at his statement and still feeling warm from what he said. “Lucky for you, I’m not going anywhere.”
He turned slightly to look more fully at her. "How do you see yourself?" he asked and hoped to high heaven she wouldn't say she was awful again. He gave her a lopsided grin when she began giggling. This was what he'd wanted to share with her all along. The funny stuff that made them both happy just to be together. "That is lucky for me. Because I have a feeling you're the cure for what ails me. Kind of paradoxical but I think it works fine."
Darcy opened her mouth to answer his question, then closed it, making a face while she thought. “I guess...maybe not all those things. Not enough for someone to say them. I think I’m just there a lot. Average?” She knew she was smart, but wouldn’t ever call herself beautiful and wonderful was so not on the table. “So what is it that ails you?”
Noah shook his head. "You're anything but average. I don't think an average girl would have started our game. Do you?" He couldn't imagine someone like Avery doing it. She came across as too straight-laced to even consider it. He thought for a moment about her question. "Having it bad for you," he said and gave her a quick kiss.
“No, she wouldn’t have,” Darcy said agreeing with that. That wasn’t a game anyone could play. She smiled softly, nodding with what he said. “Then maybe it’s not such a bad thing.”
He gave her a smile that said, "See?" He shook his head. "No, it's definitely not a bad thing. I'm happy with you. You're kinda cool, you know?" he teased lightly.
“Only kinda,” she said smiling, kissing his chest before resting against him, cuddling and enjoying herself. This was better than fighting and worrying about how he felt for sure.
Noah nodded and gave her a bit of a squeeze, enjoying her closeness. "The dork and the kinda cool girl. Guess we were meant to be." He breathed a laugh at the cheesiness but it didn't matter. This was definitely far far better than fighting and worrying.