Alice Munroe (ex_barebones985) wrote in the_colony, @ 2010-08-05 20:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | ^ week 18, alice munroe, jed bailey, | alice and jed |
Week 18: Wednesday
Characters: Alice and Jed
Location: The Parlor / The Farmhouse
Summary: Alice and Jed share a private moment, spent mostly kissing but also exploring the boundaries of their relationship.
Rating: PG-15 for some adult language and situations
Jed had scooted over to Alice’s side of the couch the moment Jack and Searle headed for bed. He didn’t get overly close, sitting on the floor, his shoulder just brushing her leg. He just liked being nearer her as they waited out their company.
The fire was low when the last person headed to bed or wherever. Jed shifted to lean his head back against her hip.
Without any light in the living room aside from the fire, Alice had given up on reading or doing any more writing work that day. She didn’t want to strain her eyes, considering she couldn’t just go and get glasses or have a surgery to fix them anymore. That alone was a sobering thought. Her eyes moved down to Jed’s face with a faint smile, her fingers threading through his hair. It was still a bit strange, this odd sense of affection he displayed to her. Once again she was reminded of Rocky, who was always eager for a belly rub or a scratch around the ears to anyone who showed him an ounce of attention. Currently, Rocky was curled up in front of the fire, dozing.
Everyone had asked them prior to leaving if they were heading to bed yet, but Alice had said ‘no.’ She’d caught Jack glaring at her a little, but the girl had left too quick for Alice to really focus on it. She was tired. It’d been a long day, but she hadn’t quite worn her brain out yet.
Smiling, his eyes half closed, Jed slipped a hand under her blanket, squeezing her calf through her jeans. “Want me to put on another log?”
“Nah,” Alice answered, still absently stroking his hair. “You know me. Can’t ever be warm enough. I don’t want us wasting anything.”
“You know wood grows on trees, don’t ya?” he teased even as he leaned into her hand.
“Yeah well, choppin’ takes forever,” she pointed out, giving a slight tug on the ends she came through. “Fine, g’head.”
“Or there’s other ways we could get warm,” he said, his smile growing.
That brought a snort. She still hadn’t given in to his light proddings, but he didn’t seem too upset by the brush-offs; they’d done other things, and it felt good to be wanted.
“Come sit up here with me,” she said, opening the blanket up invitingly.
He didn’t need to be asked twice, sliding in next to her. He put his arm around her shoulders before tugging the blanket tight around them. “See?” he said, his nose just brushing her cheek. “Already warmer.”
It was enough to make her smile, and Alice easily curled against him. “Sure enough,” she murmured. She let her eyes fall closed, listening to the sound of him breathing and the occasional crack of the fire as it consumed the wood. Her mind buzzed with half-formed thoughts, mostly about the snow a few days prior, and how they still hadn’t gone into town to really raid the place. Soon it would be too cold to do that. Maybe it was time to finally get over her fear of being away from home base.
Jed was a little disappointed that she just seemed to be drifting off, but he’d take it for what it was. Well, mostly. He tilted his head, nudging against her hair to press a kiss to her neck. “Y’smell good.”
Alice gave a breath of a laugh, tilting her head a little for him for a better angle. “Crazyhead,” she muttered in response. “I haven’t had a shower since this morning. I probably smell like funk.”
“Mm, smells like you,” he said, pressing a kiss lower. “I like you-smell.”
She could feel goosebumps rising on her arms and a different kind of warmth spread in the pit of her stomach. It wasn’t the first time he’d made little comments like that, and every time he did it seemed to make her insides melt. I wonder if he even knows what he’s doing to me... she thought hazily, licking her lips and swallowing.
“We should probably start scouting out the city,” she said, though her words were as muddled as her thoughts were starting to get with his kissing her.
“Mm-hm,” he agreed, pausing to suck at her pulse. Alice clenched her hands into fists on her knees, lips parting for a breath.
“Maybe tomorrow?” she suggested. “You’n the guys could all go together, get a general idea of what’s still good for the picking.”
“Mm-- Wait, what?” He looked up. Where his mind had been, the guys weren’t involved, so his brain did a little catch up. “Oh. Yeah, sure, guess we’ll do that.”
Just the confusion in his voice was enough to pull a little laugh out of her, and she turned her head to look at him better. He wanted to make out, and here she was killing his buzz. She felt bad, and found his hand beneath the blanket.
“Sorry,” she said, dragging his hand upward over her torso. “Body’s all loose, but the brain’s still in work-mode.”
He followed through without her guidance, cupping her breast. “S’alright. Someone’s gotta do the thinkin’, right?” he said, pressing a kiss to her lips. Alice shifted against him, following him when he tried to pull away, one hand sliding up to the back of his neck. It was something they both did, whenever they got to kissing. She could never get enough of his mouth against hers, fitting perfectly like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. It made her wonder how else they might fit, which always made her go back in for more.
Jed liked the direction of this conversation. He pressed against her, mouth happy to move at a slow pace. His hand was impatient, though; she had too many layers on. Smiling against her lips, he pulled his hand up to slide down the shallow V of her her sweater and shirt, making for her breast. His thumb caught against something, though, thin and hard and warm. A chain. He tried to twist free of it but only seemed to get his hand more tangled as he tried not to jerk it. He didn’t want to stop kissing but eventually it was clear that two hands were needed. He pulled back.
“Yer booby trap got me,” he joked, pulling both hand and chain out of her shirt. When two rings came with it, though, glinting in the firelight, the smile slid from his face. It hadn’t been the first time he’d caught sight of her wearing them, but it was the first time they’d gotten in the way. Alice saw the expression and felt her stomach clench with emotion. She was quick to help him untangle from the necklace; she’d already broken a chain once.
“Fantastic pun, by the way,” she attempted, trying to move his focus away from the rings by kissing the corner of his mouth and simultaneously tucking them away. “You’re supposed to go under, not over. Where were you?”
It didn’t have the usual affect. He at least tried to soften his expression, though, giving a valiant attempt at a small smile. “You always wear those?” he asked, his voice soft.
Alice sighed quietly, moving her hand up to stroke his face. “Yes,” she told him, feeling the stubble beneath her hand. “But you don’t... you don’t have to worry about ‘em. They’re just memories.”
Jed’s eyes lingered where he thought he might see a bulge under her sweater. Then his eyes met hers. “I ain’t worried.” And it was the truth, though it was kind of weird to think that in some way Alice’s husband was always there. Worried wasn’t the word for it, though. The man had abandoned her just when she needed him most, but she still wore his ring. Jed couldn’t really put a finger on what that made him feel. “Juss must’ve been some guy.”
Her hand fell away and Alice brought it up to her face, covering her eyes as the emotion came surging up through her. She fought it back as well as she could, not wanting to ruin the good mood that had settled between them.
“First everything,” she managed at last, almost regretting it the moment it came out. He has a right to know, she told herself. She thought about how she explained her story to Leo, and how upset he’d been. Was Jed equally bothered by her clinging so hard to the past? ’I’d go back to the house and burn it to the goddamn ground, ‘f it were me.’ Her shoulders gave a little shudder despite her best efforts.
He wrapped an arm around her, giving her shoulder a squeeze, but stopped short of pulling her against him. He wasn’t sure where the boundaries would be with this. “‘Course. He’s gotta be real important to you.” Not sure what else to do, but wanting her to feel better, he pressed a kiss into her hair. It was his tenderness that finally pushed her to tears.
“Dammit,” she said hoarsely, a small sob breaking the word in two. “I hope he’s burnin’ with guilt, wherever he is. Bastard. I hate him. He just had to go off somewhere I couldn’t go with him.”
Jed’s stomach churned. That’s what she was upset about? Not being able to be with him? Being here instead of dead, a nasty part of him added. He pulled her close, not sure if it was what she needed, but knowing that he sure did.
Alice curled into him as if it were as natural as breathing, all but pulling herself into his lap. She fought not to fully dissolve into tears, fueling the pain in her chest with rage instead of misery. Not only had Peter left, but Leo had, too. Would Jed eventually turn her aside as well? Her arms tightened around him as the thought invaded her mind, dissipating the remaining tears. He doesn’t wanna hear me belly-aching because they left, she told herself. He’s here now, and he wants to be here, so I’d better give him plenty reason to stick around.
“Why’d ya go’n bring him here with us?” she said, moving one hand up to his shoulder and strengthening her embrace. “I don’t want him here. He’s gone. It’s just you’n me here.”
He let out a breath of a laugh, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I was juss tryin’ to grab your boob,” he said in his defense. Then he added, “It’s alright, y’know. Ain’t expectin’ you to juss forget he was ever there or somethin’. Ev’ryone’s got exes. I juss never been with someone who’s ex was, y’know, real ex.”
Alice shifted in his lap, the blanket slipping around her shoulders as she moved one knee to either side of his thighs and resettled. It leveled their height, and although her eyes were still a bit bright and red from crying, she met his gaze sincerely.
“I don’t wanna fixate on him anymore,” she said. Her expression grew cloudy for a moment, then she moved her hand behind her neck to unclip the chain. “In fact,” she added, “I don’t wanna give you any reason to fixate on it either.”
His body was a slew of mixed signals, guilt and need and a white hot sliver of terror all mixing together on spin cycle. His eyes not leaving hers, he grabbed her wrist. “Don’t... don’t do it for me. If it’s fer you, sure, but don’t do it for me.”
“Why?” she asked him, her brow knotted in surprise and confusion. She hadn’t expected that kind of reaction from him.
That was a good question. Jed stared at her, trying to form the right words. “‘Cause, ‘cause I ain’t him,” he said at last. “He was, well hell, ev’rything for you. First ev’rything, like you said. Ain’t no way I can be that.”
Alice stared at him a moment, her wrist still held loosely in his hand, trying to take that statement in. What did he mean by it, exactly?
“You’re not replacing him,” she said after a moment. “I... you could never do that. Nobody could. You’re you. I don’t...” Maybe he doesn’t love me, she suddenly thought, feeling an ache resonate in her chest that reflected on her face. If that was the case, what were they doing? Just fighting the loneliness together because they’d known each other the longest?
“Hey, hey, don’t,” he said, cupping her face as panic raced through him. “I ain’t sayin’ it right. That’s the problem. I ain’t... I ain’t good at this stuff. I ain’t gonna be as good as yer used to.” He licked his lips, letting go of her wrist. “So you take that off only if it’s what you want. Don’t do it for me. Do what’s good for you.”
“What I’m used to...” she echoed, giving a sad sort of laugh and moving her hand to his neck. “It’s been almost two years. Whatever I used to have is gone. And even...” she paused, taking a slow breath and letting it out before continuing. “I just don’t wanna be hurt again. I don’t want you to leave.”
He relaxed slightly, running a thumb along her cheek. “I ain’t leavin’. Can’t promise the other part, though. I’ll try, but sometimes I end up doin’ things I don’t mean.”
Alice nodded, shifting again so she could rest her head on his shoulder and just hug him. All the bad feelings she’d had since the conversation had started continued to churn in her stomach, making her uneasy. So much for having a nice, relaxed evening, she thought eyes closing as she pressed her face into his neck. She wanted them to go away.
Well, she was still there, so that was a good sign. But the silence wasn’t, and the hug didn’t feel like the relaxed, happy hug he’d prefer. He wrapped his arms tight around her.
“I don’t mean t’ make you sad, Alice,” he said quietly. “I’m tryin’ to do things the right way. I juss don’t know it real well.”
He sounded so earnest and genuine that she couldn’t help but feel a little better by it. In their time together, Jed had always come off a little cocky about some things. It was a nice change to catch him being vulnerable for once. Alice relaxed in his embrace, brushing her lips against his jaw.
“I know,” she murmured. “And I know you are. It means a lot that you’re willing to humor me with all this, y’know?” The last part was meant mostly as a tease, and she kissed his neck again.
Her kisses sent a flutter through him and brought an almost inaudible noise from his throat. “Yer worth it,” he said, half teasing, half serious. Alice pulled back, finding his lips with hers. She put everything she wanted to say in the press of their mouths, in that moment of breath between them before their kiss deepened. She also shifted her knees a little closer to his hips. The shift pulled a deeper noise from him, his hands sliding to her hips to pull her flush against him, the blanket slid precariously down her shoulders in the process. He let himself get lost in her mouth, all other thoughts fading out.
Alice hardly felt cold anymore, and at noticing the very persistent hardness beneath her she ground against him, moving one hand up to cradle his head and twist his hair in her fingers. His hands gripped her tight, his hips lifting to meet her. He plunged his tongue deeper in her mouth, eager and demanding and needy all at once. Freeing one hand, he pushed it under her shirts to palm her breast over her bra, pulling a needy noise from her. She broke the kiss to nip her way along his jaw, once again grinding against him and keeping up a slow pace.
“Can I sleep in your room tonight?” she asked near his ear, teeth grazing against the lobe.
“God yes,” he breathed, his heart rate jumping. He hadn’t drifted off, right? This wasn’t a dream? The exquisite pressure of her body sure felt real. “Whatever you want, darlin’. You’re the pace car.”
They’d shared a bed before, but Alice wondered through the haze of pleasure settling in her mind if tonight might be the right time. She wanted him, and there was no ignoring his wanting her. He hasn’t said it yet, a small voice reminded her. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t, she tried to argue, trailing her lips down his throat. Just wait a little longer. There’s other things that can be done in the meantime.
“Let’s go,” she replied in a low voice. Whatever they were going to do, she knew she didn’t want to do it downstairs where they might be seen, regardless of how lovely the fire felt.
She felt so good that moving seemed counter-intuitive, but he knew better waited for him. Expect nothin’, the last sane part of him insisted as he shifted them both to their feet, the blanket finally falling to the ground. It was hard to remember that when he wanted all of her so badly. Ducking quickly to close the fireplace glass doors, he grinned up at her. “Yer fuckin’ gorgeous, y’know.”
Alice’s cheeks darkened at the compliment, regardless of the expletive that was tied in with it; he was so sincere, and the look in his eyes as he looked up at her only helped to enforce it. Once he was standing she leaned up and kissed him again briefly, her arms wrapping easily around his neck.
“And you’re just out to score a few more brownie points,” she murmured against his mouth.
“Lookin’ to score more’n that, but it’s a start,” he teased, pulling her towards the stairs.