Kathleen J. Forbes (forbes_md) wrote in the_colony, @ 2010-04-01 22:05:00 |
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Entry tags: | ^ week 06, jacklyn baker |
Week Six - Thursday
Characters: Jacklyn Baker and Kathleen Forbes
Location: Kathleen's place
Summary: Jack comes up to visit Kathleen and the baby, but ends up talking about something unexpected.
Rating: Therapeutic
Yesterday had been a very very bad day. Grace had died and she shouldn't have because she was in the group and they were all supposed to be safe. That's why they were here, to keep each other safe. Bad things weren't supposed to follow them here. Everyone was tense and sad and there wasn't any way to make it better because Grace was still dead. Dead like Cody and Holly's friend and her own family - like her father lying there on the floor even with Alice and Jared in her house. It was a bad day.
Today, she put off going and doing the inventory. She went to the storage room though collecting a variety of cans and boxes and packing them into a box. She left herself a note so she could keep track of what she'd taken and then Jack lugged the box out of the lobby. A couple minutes later, she left the box outside Chris's room. People who were sad sometimes didn't eat and his friend has died so he was sad.
Mission accomplished, she didn't really want to go back home. What she wanted to do was something to make herself feel better. Something nice and not sad. She turned towards Kathleen's room. Jack liked the doctor a lot and while she wasn't sure what to think of the new baby, babies at least were supposed to be happy. She knocked on the older woman's door hoping she didn't wake the baby up or anything.
In her bedroom, Kathleen was sound asleep above the covers of her bed next to the baby’s crib. The last edition of Time magazine with the bold letters Evacuation on the cover laid open on her chest . She never got passed the first page of the featured article when she fell a sleep. It was getting harder for her to keep her eyes open during quiet times alone when her child was asleep.
She immediately woke and sat up in bed when she heard the knock with her eyes wide open, she looked at the crib and made sure nothing had happened. When she got up and looked inside the crib, she found Ian still sleeping. He was undisturbed by the noise -Knock!. She realized someone had knocked at her door outside.
The blond with her hair tied back in a pony-tail rush into the next room and to the front door. She opened it without checking the peep-hole because she did not want who ever was on the other side to knock again or worst ring the door-bell next. "Hey, Jack," she greeted.
"Hi," Jack answered quietly. "I didn't wake the baby up, did I?" She was practically whispering, afraid of doing just that.
"No," she shook her head in reply. "Come inside, but keep it quiet. He's sleeping in my room." Kathleen open the door wider to let the thirteen year old inside.
She nodded and walked inside, going to take a seat on the couch. "I can go, if you want," she offered, "if it's a bad time."
"You can stay," she smiled. "I can use some company." She closed the door. "Like something to drink, I have some fruit punch. Full of vitamin C." Kathleen made sure she kept a balanced diet, since she was breast feeding her baby.
"Yeah, okay," Jack nodded. "Is it red? I like red."
"It's red." Kathleen went to the refrigerator and got them both glasses of punch from a pitcher she made that morning. She gave one to Jack, and then sat down next to her on the sofa. "So how have you been?" The events of yesterday crossed her mind and she believed it must have been troubling for the young teenager.
Jack shrugged in answer first, taking a drink of her punch. "It hasn't been a very good couple of weeks." She frowned, thinking about yesterday.
"Yeah you can say that, but again there are many good things too." She was thinking about the birth of her baby as being one the good things. "Then we have all these new people joining us. So it can't be as bad as you think." She tried to stay positive for the girl's benefit.
"I kind of think it sucked." Everything was hard and confusing and scary. "Except for my birthday. That was good. Thanks for the bag, by the way." She didn't mention that one of the best things about her birthday was that Kathleen's baby was born after midnight and wouldn't share his birthday with Jack.
"You're welcome." She took a quick sip of her punch. "Is there something you want to talk about? I guess there is no avoiding what happened yesterday,because that sucked, and if you want to talk about it, I'll listen."
Jack set her cup down on the coffee table to draw her knees up close to her. "I dunno. It was...bad. Really bad."
She nodded. "She's in a better place now with her boy in Heaven." If she remembered right, Grace was searching for a missing son. Kathleen believed that the likelihood that he survived was extremely nil. She saw no proof that the immunity that most survivors possessed was not hereditary. In her case she had the original H1N1 flu but survived, but none in her family did.
"Maybe." Jack didn't think that made being killed okay. If it were okay, then people wouldn't be sad when other people died. She wondered if that meant her parents were in heaven but that didn't make it better that she'd been left alone without them.
Kathleen could see that Jack was bothered by the death. She could only imagine what the girl must have experienced during the height of the pandemic when people were dropping dead all over the place from the flu. She did not know the girl's story, but did know that she lost her parents. It would be hard on any kid under normal circumstances.
"You said that the last couple of weeks sucked. Other than what happened yesterday, what else sucked?" she used Jack's description. Kathleen's specialty in internal medicine made her more prone to treating the whole person on all levels, and that included mental health. "Maybe I can help?"
"I dunno. Everything." It all seemed too big to be explained, there was too much of it. Too much being trapped in the store room all the time and Alice hating her anyways, being worried about Jared, upset and confused about the stuff brought back from her house where stupid stupid Alice and Jared had walked around with her daddy in there, people teasing her about Searle and Jed saying she was going to get pregnant and now being upset and scared about what happened to Grace. It was too much on her all at one time and Jack didn't know how to handle it all, let alone explain it. She stared down at her knees and her bottom lip quivered.
Kathleen studied Jack's body language and noticed the quivered lip. "It's okay if you don't know," she assured her. "Everything covers a lot. Can you pick out one thing in particular? What bothers you the most? You can tell me and I won't tell anyone else." It officially marked the start of patient's confidentiality. She never expected that this visit would turn into a quasi-therapy session.
This was not what Jack wanted for the day. She just thought she'd come visit Kathleen for a little while and see her baby. She hadn't expected to get so upset. So what was bothering her more than anything, the worst thing besides Grace dying? Could she say it? "Alice and Jared were in my house and I know it's stupid to be upset because I told her where it was but I wanted to help because there was lots of good stuff we could use but she went in my room and touched my stuff and brought it back for me, but I didn't ask her to do that and that's not what I wanted her to do. She was just supposed to get the supplies and go away but stupid Alice and stupid Jared were in there and my daddy's in there and they saw him like that and I never wanted anybody to see him because nobody should see him like that and it's not right and I should never have told where it was." The words came out all in rush, as if they were racing each other out. Jack wished she could find someplace to curl up and be left alone.
It was terrible that her father had died in her home. Kathleen could imagine how that effected the poor kid and how she must have felt violated by Alice and Jared going there without her. There was so much said in her hyper rant about how she felt.
The doctor lifted her right leg on the sofa and folded it under the other when she shifted her position to face Jack. "I remember when I was about your age how important my things were in my room . I didn't allow my parents inside without my permission, though my mom didn't obey my rule because it was her house," she paused for a moment to think, reminding herself that she was there to listen. "It was your room they entered without your permission, most importantly it was your father's house, and I am so sorry about your Dad." She placed her hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's rough, I know. You don't want people see your Dad like that because they have no idea who he was. They can't love him as much as you did. Am I wrong? Let me know if I am okay." She wanted to narrow the topic down to her father.
Jack nodded. She'd seen other dead bodies when she was going around in the city. She remembered how awful they were, masses on the floor and not people. She never wanted anyone to see her dad like that. "I didn't want anyone to see him like that. Just a...you know. I didn't want to leave him but I couldn't help him. He was sick and he fell down and I couldn't do anything. He wouldn't get up and I don't know CPR and I couldn't move him," The tears she'd been holding back finally rolled down her cheeks as she remembered sitting on the kitchen floor next to her father and crying for him to get up.
Kathleen sat there and listened intently while she spoke of that time. The edges around her own eyes started to sting a little in sympathy, so when Jack tears started to flow she reached behind her to grab some tissue from the lamp stand next to the sofa. "Here," she passed a few tissues to her, and kept one for herself. She did not know how her colleagues in mental health could deal with this kind of stuff every day in their practice.
After wiping the corners of her eyes, she crumpled up the tissue and hid it away inside her hand. "Take your time." What she really wanted to do was to give her a hug, but her patient, Jack, had to make that decision. If she remembered right this was part of the process in therapy, she couldn't force it, but only guide the way for the patient. If anything she had to be strong for them.
Jack wiped her face first with the tissue and then with the back of her hand. Honestly, she could have used a hug. "I just didn't want to leave him and I didn't want anyone to see him, especially Alice and Jared."
"What do you want to do about him, now?" she asked. Kathleen hoped that Jack would feel in control of that decision.
Jack knew what she wanted because it was her not doing it that had been eating away at her for months. "I want - I want to bury him but I can't do it by myself."
The blond nodded with an encouraging smile. "I'm sure we can arrange something together. We can talk to Jed about it, because I'm sure he will help."
Jack nodded and looked up at Kathleen with red-rimmed eyes. "Th - thank you," she stammered gratefully, hoping she would feel better when it was all over.
Kathleen was pleased with herself that she was able to make a breakthrough in such a short time. She wanted to leave Jack empowered and confident about this simple decision to bury her father. It was really a big deal because not everyone had the same opportunity, counting herself. Her parents died without her ever saying good bye. In a way, this might help her too.
She considered this session done, and felt she must give this girl a big hug, and so she did. "You're so welcome."
Jack hugged the doctor back, long and hard. She was quiet when she pulled away, just trying to get a grip on herself.
Kathleen reached for one of Jack's hands, and held it. "Promise me, if you ever need to talk, come see me." A beat later. "As a matter of fact why don't we meet like this every Thursday for awhile. I'll listen and you can talk about those other things that was on your everything sucks list." She did not want to use the word therapy, but she thought Jack could use a little counsel. There was only so much Jed could do as a guardian. As a matter of fact, she was not sure what to call their relationship - big brother, little sister?
Jack was already nodding to promise she would when Kathleen suggested they meet every week. It wasn't a bad idea. She could talk to Jed, but Jed was a guy and he didn't always understand. Searle understood more often than Jed did but he was still a boy and Jack didn't know if she could really be serious with Holly. Being able to talk to Kathleen would be nice. "Yeah, okay. I'd like that, I think."
"Outstanding," she replied enthusiastically. "So do you want to see little Ian?"
Jack nodded excitedly - the baby was the whole reason she had come over. "Yes." She had to work hard to keep her voice down.
"Come on," she got up on her feet, and help Jack up by the hand. "I want to introduce you."