Isaac Rasmussen (guarddog) wrote in the_cirque, @ 2024-05-01 16:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, c: isaac rasmussen, c: levi mendez |
Who: Levi and Isaac
What: The two wolves meet
When: Backdated to Mid April
Where: Craft Services Tent
Warnings: None except for Isaac getting lost in his head
Isaac enjoyed his job. His first priority as a member of security was to keep the members of Cirque Noir safe, largely from the outside world at large and it was a responsibility he took very seriously. Secondary to that, but no less important, was the safety of the circus’s patrons. Most of the time people were well behaved. They bought their tickets, stood in line to ride the rides or play the games, were dazzled by the performances under the Big Top, and awed by the side shows. Then they went home with the memories and a few keepsakes. But every now and then there were a few people who were up to mischief or in some cases, just up to no good. They weren’t the typical patron, but they were the ones who kept Isaac, as well as the rest of the security team, on their toes.
The first couple of weeks of the circus’s arrival in a new city always seemed to bring out those individuals more so than any other time. Already tonight, Isaac had chased a teenage shoplifter down the midway. He also caught a young couple looking to sneak off somewhere they shouldn’t be for some “alone time”, snagged a young kid as he tried to shimmy under the canvas walls of the Big Top, and broke up an argument outside Délire that looked like it was escalating just a little too quickly. All in all, a busy, but average night.
After the usual check in with Dante and Nova and letting them know he was going to take an hour to get dinner, Isaac made his way to the Craft Services Tent, the smell of food, tugging him along the way.
—
The Craft Services Tent had been calling Levi’s name more and more recently. It was a place he seemed to be able to be around people without having to socialize to a large degree. Focussing on people was not something he felt like doing recently - even with the new witch, focussing on her for too long caused flashes of pain through his skull and a yearning sense he did not trust. Food seemed to satiate those other cravings and so he found himself at this damn tent quite often.
His work didn’t feel like work. More like some weird luxury - he passed through the grounds as if he were security, but didn’t take action unless necessary. He more just waited for a time his services would be needed. When the night was busy for him, he didn’t need the food tent. He tried not to think about it more than he had to - he hated seeing the monster he’d shifted into through his memories, staring at him through the mirrors from the maze-like attraction he’d ventured into for still unknown reasons. At least he’d found Ame’s journal.
His wandering mind calmed as he entered the tent behind a guy he’d seen a couple of times - still new, Levi hadn’t introduced himself to many people. The scent of wolf was comforting - he hadn’t met any other wolves here. He kind of smelled like home and Levi, always eager to cling to a scent that forced him to lean on happier memories, focussed on the other wolf. Instead of making it weird and stalkerish, Levi gave a tired, “Hey,” as he moved to pick up a plate so he could start filling it with meat and maybe some veg.
—
Isaac recognized the other man as one of the Cirque’s newbies. The Cirque seemed to be collecting quite a few of those recently. There was something familier about the man. The smell of rain and earth reminded him a lot of the Ashcrofts, though not quite the same. There was a heat to the scent that pulled on a memory buried too deep to dig up. He knew the other man was a wolf, as well. Isaac hadn’t spent much time around other wolves. The chance to do so now piqued his curiosity.
“Hey,” he nodded back in greeting as he grabbed his own plate. “It’s Levi, right?”
—
Levi laughed a low sound that maybe to human ears wouldn’t even register as a laugh and more just a noise passing from his chest through his sinuses. “It’ll never stop being weird when people seem to know my name,” Confirming that Isaac was right without outright stating so. “I know you’re security, but I don’t think I caught a name.” His voice tried to pick up to something sociable, but there was a hint of confusion when he lifted his face upward a little and sniffed - not bothering to mask that he was in fact scenting the air.
There was that scent again. Amber, and the only person he’d ever smelled that lingering note from was his mother. Because it wasn’t straight amber - it smelled like someone wearing the musky spiciness had walked out of the room maybe ten minutes before he’d entered. They weren’t in a room though and there was no trail. It was just there. Like a cloud that had been walked through numerous times already and then it was gone. An echo of a scent that confused Levi and had since he’d started smelling it.
He’d only be brought back from his thoughts once Isaac said something.
—
“I’m Isaac,” Isaac said. He balanced his tray so he could offer Levi his hand. He paused when Levi sniffed the air. Isaac liked to think that he was knowledgeable enough having been born a shifter, but the way Levi – another wolf – smelled the air and the way he looked at him, Isaac was painfully reminded that he’d come up alone, without a pack. He was a lone wolf. And he always had been.
Isaac wasn’t sure what to do with his hand now. He felt stupid standing with it outstretched and after half a moment, pulled it back. He went about serving himself. “It’s part of my job to know everyone at the circus,” he forced himself to continue, hoping he didn’t sound half as awkward or as dumb as he felt. He glanced at Levi out of the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry if that weirds you out. I get it.”
—
Levi picked up on the tone change in Isaac, caught his name, and shifted his eyes towards the other man completely unaware of what had happened. “Sorry, man, I keep catching this scent and it’s driving me crazy. I sort of space out when I pick it up - it is random as hell.” Levi tried to explain with a lightness to his voice that hadn’t been there when he’d been preoccupied and moody. “And nah, it doesn’t weird me out exactly, just not used to it. You do a job that keeps you in the shadows - you expect all the other people to sort of ignore you and yet…there are job titles I don’t even know and contortionists all bumping into me already knowing me. It is…odd. But kind of similar to meeting new Pack cousins, I guess.”
Levi shrugged and without warning he clapped Isaac’s shoulder in a friendly way, “Which by the way, it’s really nice to see another wolf!” Levi smiled all toothy and genuine, giving Isaac’s shoulder a little shake before patting at him and dropping his hand away. “Was starting to get lonely out there with no one to howl with.” It was a stupid joke, but Levi had fun telling stupid jokes. “Are you on break? I think I only have another fifteen, but would love to hang out if you’re eating here.” Sometimes he’d take his food elsewhere, but why pass up an opportunity to meet a new wolf?
—
Isaac was relieved he hadn’t made an idiot of himself. His shoulders relaxed under Levi’s hand. “Yeah,” he said with a nod. “I took an hour to grab dinner, then it’s back out walking the grounds and keeping folks outta trouble. I don’t mind hanging out and eating if you want.” He nodded towards one of the tables.
Food loaded onto his plate, he made his way over to the table with Levi. “You get used to people knowing you and knowing who you are,” he said once he sat down. “It’s not like everyone’s in everyone else’s business, but it’s a close community. Kind of like a pack?” Isaack furrowed his brows and looked at Levi sheepishly. “Maybe? I don’t know, I’ve never actually been in a pack.”
—
After sitting Levi immediately tore into a bit of chicken, nodding when Isaac compared the circus to a Pack. He was ready to jump in with a whole speech about how he’d been feeling the same way, how great it was to have that simulation when the real thing was so far away, but all of those good feelings flooded away to be replaced with a sort of sad confusion. “Never?” Immediately Levi assumed the worst.
Isaac’s mother died in birth or was hunted down by some bitch hunter. Family died away from their Pack so Isaac hadn’t been taken in appropriately. “Shit, man. I’m sorry.” His voice carried every bit of the emotional upset he felt for the other wolf. “I mean, if you ever want to meet a Pack, my dad would be happy to host you when I go for a visit in a month or two. Not to be too forward or anything. Just an offer.”
—
Isaac shook his head. “There wasn’t an established pack where I grew up,” he said. “My dad was the only wolf shifter in the area. He died when I was a little kid.” He picked up his burger and started to eat. “I was raised by a family of witches.” He didn’t know why he was telling Levi any of this. He didn’t open up to a lot of people, and certainly not people he hadn’t exchanged more than two words with before. Maybe it had to do with Levi being another wolf or how familiar and comforting his scent was. Sure, that was it.
He looked thoughtfully at Levi and mulled over his offer as he chewed. There was a part of him that would like to go with Levi back to his pack, just for the experience. To see what it was like to run with other wolves, howl with them, be a part of that community. His eyes moved down to his plate. Only he wouldn’t be a part of it. Not really. He’d always just be a little on the outside. He always was.
“Uh…” he shifted his weight awkwardly in his seat. “They need me here and…” already with the excuses. He could hear Vairea in his ears telling him to go. Take a vacation, Isaac! Go meet people! Meet some fellow wolves! Or something like that at least. He took another bite of his burger, chewing thoughtfully before venturing. “Your dad wouldn’t mind having a ronin wolf tagging along?” He asked carefully. “What about the rest of your pack?”
—
There were moments in Isaac’s silence that Levi wanted to fill the void. Encourage him to speak his mind or brush all the awkwardness away and tell him to just come along. It would be like going on vacation to a resort or something. A place he could just hang out, meet people, and not worry about shedding his skin whenever he wanted for whatever reason. There was even a part of him that wanted to tell him about the she-wolves out there just waiting for a mate. That didn’t sound like him, but the thought was there for Isaac specifically. Which was odd, but Levi restrained himself.
Cocking his brow at the mention of a ronin wolf - he’d never heard it put that way. Levi cleared his throat and then shredded the chicken on his plate so he could eat a couple of pieces at a time without looking absolutely gross while talking. Manners, right? He waited to actually swallow to say the first part. Hazel eyes making sure to have Isaac’s gaze, “A lone wolf is a dead wolf.” It was short, blunt, and in Levi’s tone - it was factual. “Maybe not physically, not always. But we’re Pack animals, we need other wolves. The physical contact alone can heal major wounds - something about the heat we generate. We hunt together, sleep together, sometimes we just fucking laze around on top of one another because it is a comfort.” It was the quickest Wolf 101 lesson Levi could give.
“Are people going to sniff you and want to know your story? Absolutely. Are they going to shun you? No. Get in good with my dad and you’re golden. Dad’s the leader anyway - what he says goes. You want in, do a couple of trials and guess what? You’re Pack. You’re home. You’re safe. Because that’s what Pack is - family and home. Not blood. Trust and believe, kid - I have more family than just blood related.” He paused to bite down into more chicken before adding, “We all howl at the same moon, no matter the distance. Your family is always with you.”
—
Growing up, while Dayton had learned magic, Isaac had learned what it meant to be a shifter. There were no wolves in the small New England town, but there was an old Bear shifter. Tom Grizzly they had called him. Tom had been a grouchy old man, but a good teacher. He taught Isaac about his beast and how to control it. How to master the art of shifting. How to keep track of the moon and prepare for the inevitable shift every month. Never once did he mention anything about Pack, about hunting or warmth or comfort. Why would he? Bears weren’t pack animals. In less than a minute, Levi had taught Isaac more about Wolves than Ol’ Tom ever had.
Levi’s words hit Isaac deeply. Was that what had happened to his father? Did he die because he didn’t have a pack? Was that why it had been so easy for Dayton to turn his gun on Isaac? Because, no matter how much Isaac thought of him as his brother, they had never been and never would be.
Isaac’s chest felt tight and he didn't have much of an appetite, but he forced himself to eat the burger he was still holding. Despite everything, Isaac had always thought he knew who and what he was. Now…he wasn’t so sure.
“Sounds nice,” he said, hoping his voice didn’t give away the same sense of tense confusion he felt in his chest.
—
Levi stared at Isaac. Just stared. It wasn’t menacing or judgemental - concern was there creasing the edges of his eyes and for a moment Levi wanted to hurt someone the way Isaac must have been hurt. Cats, birds, and reptiles with sad stories were one thing. He didn’t overlook what may have happened to them because he didn’t care, it just wasn’t programed into him to ache for them the way it was with wolves - or maybe just the ones he thought he should protect and maybe Isaac wasn’t his person, yet - but he was part of his pseudo Pack that was made up of circus folk.
Isaac’s voice didn’t need to give anything away - Levi relied on his sense of smell first, hearing second, and then sight. Tactile wasn’t usually necessary, unless it was for taste so they went pretty evenly together. Everything about Isaac, to Levi, screamed abandoned pup. “Hey,” he started and felt a little unsure of how to fix what he felt he’d broken, “If it is weird I offered to meet the Pack when we literally just met - I’m sorry. I don’t think about how I come off to other shifters.” He shrugged, “Still sort of learning about other shifters. Met my first bird and reptile shifter when I got here. I didn’t realize there was anything other than wolves. Everyone lives so differently, too.” He knew it hadn’t been the offer to meet other wolves that made the air around Isaac change, but maybe pretending would help.
“Just get to know me first. Everything else will work itself out.” He grinned his lopsided grin and popped the rest of his chicken into his mouth. “Want to go running tomorrow? I’m trying to work more on cardio - I’m getting lazy living here.”
—
Isaac shook his head. Nothing Levi said had been weird, not even offering to bring Isaac to meet his pack. Pack life was what Levi knew and wanting to extend that to Isaac was a very kind thing to do. Isaac smiled wanly and shook his head. “It’s not weird,” he said. “I’ve never thought about Pack life before and it’s a lot to take in. I’d like to experience it one day.”
He took another bite of his burger before continuing. “Getting to know each other is probably a good idea,” he said and gave Levi a grin. “I mean, you want to know who you’re inviting in and I should know more about whose inviting me. Tell me more about you, where are you from. Tell me about the Pack, your dad and the other members.”
—
“I’m not scared to just bring you,” Levi stated with a sort of flat voice as he picked up the burger patty he’d grabbed earlier - nothing on it, no bread. He bit into it and chewed really wishing he had carne asada - not just steak, but his dad’s grilled carne. He ate the burger like he was mad at it - because he was. “Not to sound cryptic, but if you’re a lone wolf and you start shit, you’re a wolf with a death wish walking into a Pack.” He shrugged a little before adding, “I guess that’s what I can say about Pack - my Pack, maybe all Packs. Territorial as fuck and we always have each other’s backs.” He bit into the burger again, thought about his next words before divining to answer Isaac’s questions.
“I’m from New Mexico. My dad’s family is from Mexico and my mom is Caucasian - I think she was born in New Mexico or New York or something.” He shrugged, not seeming to care much about that particular detail. “Dad’s leader, mom does her jobs as necessary - Pack is, was, over fifty when I left. It’s grown since then - Dad tries to keep control on the growth though. We have to keep people from moving in and control the bites. We try to go out to the desert during full moons - less chance of attacking anyone.” He paused, finished his burger before continuing, “Me, I’m a mutt, a born wolf, a registered nurse, a landscaper, I volunteered at VA Hospitals as a teen and organized community events into my adulthood. Met the love of my life, she died, and now I’m here. Nutshell of a life, but there it is.”
He’d mostly been looking at his food as he talked - popping bits into his mouth or ripping his next piece apart. When he was done talking he did look to Isaac, “What about you, Isaac? What does being raised by witches do to a wolf?”
—
Isaac listened to the whirlwind of information Levi gave him. The way he rushed through it, Isaac thought maybe he’d asked too much too quickly. He noted how Levi breezed by the death of the “love of his life”. He wanted to ask more, but considering the way Levi had brushed over it, Isaac figured it was still an open wound and he hadn’t earned the trust needed to poke it.
His head tilted slightly at Levi’s next question. The classic tilt of a dog whose attention had been grabbed by something interesting, or something he didn’t quite understand. “Do?” he repeated, a brow raised. He didn’t think Levi meant anything by the question – He hoped he didn’t. Still his gut reaction was to defend the family that had taken him in. “They took me in,” He said. “They gave me a home. It wasn’t the same as a Pack, but they were the only family I had.” Even as he spoke, his mind jerked back to that fateful night when Dayton, the man he had called his brother, had turned on him, chased him from the house with a gun loaded with silver bullets. The memories caused Isaac’s blood to run hot through his body. He hadn’t even realized he’d stopped speaking until he glanced up at Levi watching him.
He took a deep breath, forcing his body at least to relax. “It was fine,” he said. “They did the best they could. More than anyone else wanted to do. But, Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you think they will.” His appetite was long gone by now. He pushed his tray away using the back of his hand.
—
Isaac’s appetite being gone was noted by the way Levi watched the other man push his food away. That was interesting. Maybe that was a lone wolf thing? Levi finished up what he’d grabbed because the only thing the man really cared about was food and sex these days. One could override the other, but since the women he enjoyed being around most were not currently here and enough food to appease him was - he tucked in. Watching all the silent body language Isaac so easily allowed to be visible with knitted brows as he finished up his plate.
“You must really love them,” Levi finally stated once his plate was clean. Sitting up instead of crouching over his food like a man that hadn’t eaten in days. His adopted family seemed like a wound Isaac wasn’t ready to deal with and Levi understood that. He’d taken his lesson with Sloane to heart and hadn’t spilled everything about Sofia, for the first time, and still felt like he was doing her a disservice by not honoring her name and story. Still, there was a time and place and both men had decided this was neither of those things for their deeper feelings.
Levi felt like maybe he was seeing exactly what not being around a Pack could do to a wolf. Levi knew loyalty, but unless there was a physical attack or another wolf asked for protection (nonverbally) then Levi wasn’t up in arms to defend people. Not even his dad. But, he realized, there was a reason why humans had domesticated wolves and bred them into dogs - service, companionship and loyalty. He filed these thoughts away, “We should hang out on the full moon - hunt and all the fun stuff.” Changing the topic with an easy smile. “It’ll be nice to be with another wolf on the full moon. It has been a good minute.”
—
Isaac nodded. That actually sounded pretty good. Despite the mess in his head, he wanted to get to know this other wolf. He smiled back at Levi. “I’ll tell you what,” he said. “If you’re game, why don’t we meet once the Cirque closes down tonight? It’ll be a few hours before the sun’s up. We can get a run in then? And between you and me, I’m gonna need it after tonight.”
Isaac’s phone beeped, alerting him to a new message. He rolled his eyes and dug his phone out of his pocket, frowning at the screen. “Speaking of which,” he grumbled as he got to his feet. “Duty calls.” He slid his phone away and smiled at Levi again with a nod. “I’ll meet you after hours by the front gates.”