I know that's not an excuse. Not everyone had the childhood I had. Despite how poor we were, how often I missed school because I was sick - I had my mother, and I wouldn't be half the man I am today if not for her. I wouldn't even be alive if she hadn't fought so hard to keep me that way. I was raised with that voice. I still hear her every day. I'm lucky.
I wouldn't have believed it. Maybe you liked the power you could exert over other people when you hadn't felt powerful before, but I don't think you'd spend as much time sounding angry if you went to bed liking yourself. But maybe it's optimistic to think that a lot of your hatred is self-hatred, too. Too much optimism is a problem of mine. It gets me into trouble.
What has happened to you is always going to be a part of you. Who you become in light of that, despite of that, because of that, is the important thing. How are you going to channel what happened to you? Your future was never written into stone. You still have the chance to choose a different path than the one that you were put on years ago. You can still take what you've been through and use it as a reminder for what you never want to be, if that's what you want. Every day is a risk. We never know what's going to happen, and it's up to us to decide how we want to spend those precious hours. We're going to get hurt. We're going to lose things. That's inevitable. That's life. It's painful and messy, but it can also be beautiful.