I think if you'd had the chance to break away, you would have. I also think that by the time they found out, it was too late. There were too many hurt feelings once it was out in the open. We could toss hypothetical situations around all day, but it doesn't change anything, does it? Maybe you wouldn't have taken the offer. There's no way to know now with any certainty.
I don't see how it's better yet. Is the knowledge really going to change anything here? Is it going to make you do anything differently to show that the trajectory your life takes in our world doesn't have to be the only one? What happened that day with Kara is a tragedy, and it's very clear that your loss was what drove you back, but you can't tell me that you all weren't trying to kill each other. That would be a lie, and we both know that. You weren't innocent, neither are they. But you're acting like they're the only ones who ever did anything wrong, and that's not true. I think that's where we get caught up. You could have stopped it all before it began.
Honesty doesn't have to be the enemy, and cruelty doesn't have to be the answer. There is a different way. It starts with you. You're the only one who can make any of this different. Take ownership of your own life. Look at the way you approach situations and how you talk to people, and listen. Maybe you'll see something new.
You shouldn't be responsible for everything, but I am not wrong. You victimize yourself, and you put too much on the rest of us when we never caused your problems in the first place.