I am sorry for your loss. We all handle grief differently, I don't believe there's a right or wrong way. Well, I mean causing harm to yourself or others is definitely the wrong way.
Listening is important. We don't always need to have the right words, just our presence and willing to listen.
When my parents were teenagers they fought against a horrible wizard. My uncle Fred was killed in the final battle. Among other family friend, all before I was born. It's a war that had been going on for years, before I was born, before my parents were born. A lot of lives were lost.