WHO: Ben Reilly & Peter Parker WHEN: 10/24 WHERE: The Spider-Vampire-Werewolf Housing Unit WHAT: Peter has certain tells when he Isn’t Coping Well, and Ben knows what those are. WARNINGS: Mentions of child loss.
______________
Ben couldn’t help the bounce in his step as he headed down the hall to his room. Yeah, sure, as soon as his head hit a pillow, he’d be out like a light, but he was going to enjoy his relaxed, endorphin filled high for as long as he could. Just a little bit of relief from that tension that was building all through his body, waiting to tear out on the full moon. For now though, that beast was sated. Lazy, happy, and not bristling along all his nerves. Definitely not keeping him jittery and close to snapping like he had been at the same time last month.
He covered a yawn as he fumbled around in his pockets for his card to get into his room. Ok, not that pocket. Not that one… Ah ha! Third time’s the charm! A quick motion to unlock and open the door. One hand stuffed his card back into his pocket as the other stretched over his head as he sauntered into the room…
...and stopped mid-motion when he spotted Peter. Ah yes. That issue he was circling too. The past few days, he’d noticed his brother had been… off. Ok, not actually off. Anyone else interacting with him, well, it was Pete just being Pete. But Ben could see the little signs and well… considering he’d been employing plenty of them the past two months, they were easy to recognize. Something was eating at him and he was pushing it down for whichever reason was number one at the time.
Smoothing down his dishevelled shirt, his head tilted, blond hair spiked up at odd angles, trying to not only catch sight of anyone else in the shared rooms, but also catch a scent or sound of the other people. “Hey, MJ and mini-spider ‘round?” he asked curiously.
A quick shower didn’t do much, but when your mind was racing every waking moment (and some of the sleeping, too), there was only so much to do to force yourself to breathe a little. Peter balled up the towel that he’d been using to dry his hair, his clothes a bit damp from all the water that had dripped from the mussed brown. He had his back turned, and his distracted state meant he didn’t notice Ben sneaking in until the voice came from behind him.
Peter looked around, his expression momentarily lingering in that closed, contemplative set before he swapped it out for a best effort smile. “Oh, nah. Benjy’s out on visiting rounds, and MJ’ll be back in a bit…” Peter tilted his head a bit, noting his brother’s tousled appearance. “Did you come here through a wind tunnel?”
His look softened as Ben caught that expression shift. Yup, confirmation there, even if he’d misread all the signs before. “C’mon, Pete. You don’t have to do that for me.” Yeah, right, take your own advice there, Benny boy. “Save that dazzling smile for later,” he finished with a nod towards the door.
Which led right into the rest of that question. Frowning, he ran a hand up through his hair and flinched. He couldn’t see the mess, but his fingers could map it out enough to know that Loki’d done some interesting styling to it over their time together. He made a half hearted effort to smooth his hair down as he shook his head. “Tunnel, yeah, wind, nope. So, what’s up?”
Not missing a beat this time, Peter gave Ben a shrug. “What? Take a shower? Listen, I know the scent thing is on level 10 right now, so I’m just doing you a favor,” he easily replied. Easily, if only because it was a deft side-step of what he knew Ben was talking about. The problem with having a brother that knew your habits was that he knew your habits.
Peter gave Ben’s hair a squint. Flattening effort only amounted to a moderate level of taming. If Benjy had been with him, that would at least account for a level of webbing getting in there and messing it up. That couldn’t have been it, though. “What’s up with what?”
“And yet you still haven’t found the febreeze,” Ben countered with a dramatic sigh. “What kind of post apocalyptic future is this?”
Whether or not it was true now, he did appreciate the gesture. And really should likely head in the shower direction before hitting the hay. But later. He jabbed a finger in Pete’s direction as he headed towards the sofa. “But not what I mean and y’know it.” Lowering himself onto the sofa, his eyebrows went up as he fixed Peter with a semi-worried look. “Something’s doing laps in that brain of yours, Pete, and it’s not what awesome things you can do with getting to make your own version of a batsuit, so…” He patted the seat next to him. “Dr. Reilly’s couch is open for the next two hours before his people skills start diving back into Kaine territories of growly.”
Peter eyed the open cushion. There was a stream of thoughts that bubbled to the surface above the rooted obsession over what a set of new memories meant when they disagreed with the memories that had already existed. There was an option of further evasion, but the problem was that escape wasn’t a choice. There was no window jump out. No well-timed cry of a police siren. He couldn’t scamper off to work or sleep overnight in the lab.
This was going to happen every day until he cracked and fessed up.
“Ben…” Peter started, giving his best pleading look. “Don’t pull the thread. Please.”
Considering how shifty they could be, Ben had been prepared for the worst type of evasion tactics possible. The jokes, the tangents, the changing of topics, and, of course, the simple bolt. The verbal acrobatics would be a toss up on who’d win and the bolt… well… depending on Ben’s mood and timing, it could either end in Pete getting a few more days or this conversation being a whole lot worse.
That look though… His expression melted into one of genuine worry. He pushed himself up and took a step towards Peter before he even realized he was moving. “Pete…” Stopping himself, his hands raised up in front of him in surrender. “Ok… ok… I know.” His head ducked a bit in guilt. After all, it wasn’t like he hadn’t been dodging around questions and concerned looks for weeks now, not wanting to worry people or think too hard about far too many topics. “I know…” Again, but in a quieter, softer voice. “I just… y’know how it is, yeah? You see and you want to help and…” A puff of breath. “I’m here, Pete, yeah? Just, I know it’s hard to remember sometimes. Y’need to rip the bandaid off, I’m here. ‘Cause…” Another sigh. “That thread’s gonna snag on something, Pete. Whatever it is, it’s gonna snag.”
Ben’s movement made Peter’s frame tense up, like a spring coiling back. He really didn’t want to deal with it, but that was just about every problem. Laugh it away, right? Joke until it didn’t hurt anymore. Except that this wasn’t going to go away, and hurt wasn’t completely the end result. It something more akin to confusion. Two memory sets warring with each other left a gap in which Peter found himself stuck. It was hard to believe either was real because they both felt it, simultaneously. If MJ hadn’t been experiencing the same, he would’ve just assumed he was cracking up.
Peter was quiet, his eyes fixated on the corner of the sofa for a few minutes. Then, they closed. He breathed out. “Do you remember being up in the attic? My powers were on and off and on again, but we were digging through all the old school things and books… pictures. Found that old Peter Pan book that we loved as a kid…”
Ben stayed frozen where he was, not eager to move considering that tension in Pete’s stance. Best not to spook him. Especially when he was talking. His brows furrowed together. Although not really the sort of talking he was expecting. Not that he knew what to expect considering there were far too many things that’d set them off on that introspection, but… yeah, this hadn’t been on the list…
He nodded slowly, rolling the words over in his head. “Yeah…” he said quietly. Their memories, it was always hit or miss of what happened and what didn’t, but that one… That was there, except… “Just off though in my world. No on agains. The attic needed to be gone through, to get the house all taken care of before the move…” He smiled softly and fondly. “You asked me to help because…” He ducked his head. Even though it had been years ago, that moment still resonated through him. They’d been referring to each other as brothers, working on making it genuine instead of a jibe, but Pete inviting him over had been one of those surprising steps the other man just jumped right ahead with to make sure Ben felt like an actual part of the family. “Because they were my memories too.” A few more slow nods. “Yeah, Aunt May loved reading it to us.” A smirk as he peeked back up at Peter. “And we always wanted to fly.”
The relief at hearing Ben confirm that moment wasn’t quite enough to get Peter smiling, but he nodded, gaze drawn upwards to meet his brother’s eyes. It was just up to him to explain why that was important right now, though the words for that kept ducking and dodging. There were these points -- even though Ben had been a huge part of his life, full and open honesty was hard. That level of exposure didn’t come naturally, even if there was a clear and blaring message that he needed help. It was always an ‘I got this!’ That would probably end up on his grave, if death actually seemed to have a hold over him.
“Y’know, Carol took me up a few times in her tiny deathtrap of a plane, so I dunno if we should’ve been more specific about that one…” A joke. Knowing he’d veered clear off the path he’d started on, Peter raised a hand to slap over his eyes. “That’s not -- I mean…”
Rip the band-aid off, Ben said. He should. Just grip that corner and tear away. “It was for May. We were… we were up there because there wasn’t enough room in the house, so…” And there it was. The words dropped off, as Peter felt his chest clench up.
Peter got a soft laugh for his joke, but Ben forced himself to leave it at that. Any comment and there’d be a spiralling out. This was hard enough without providing any obvious blinking detour sign in the middle of the conversation.
Even if it didn’t make sense. He frowned, waiting for more, for some clarification. May… With what he knew of Peter’s history, well… Little May, she wasn’t in that world and, while he hadn’t asked, he wouldn’t be surprised if things were different with the other May in Pete’s world. He had mentioned enough people who should have been dead already… Moving back in with Aunt May wouldn’t be the craziest thing ever and if he was moving with a girlfriend at the time, space would be needed.
But that was Aunt May. The lack of that word spoke volumes. And yet… “We’re not talking ‘bout our aunt, are we, Pete?”
Peter was shaking his head. He cleared his throat, as if that would help his voice recover. Truth was, it hit hard. If there was any real weight to the memories that had recently settled in, then May had been gone for years. It was dealt with and he and MJ had moved on. The only trouble was that it was a fresh revival of an old wound. Like realizing that you weren’t as okay with it as you thought because you forgot it ever happened. Forgot ever having a daughter. Who even did that?
...if it was true. If. There was still a lingering belief that maybe someone had planted that in there there somehow. There had to be a way to explain away that sinking feeling in his stomach and the grief that kept pushing him back into a rut.
“I don’t know. I… something is going on in here.” Peter tapped at his temple. “Something isn’t right. One of the X-Men said there were two sets of memories. Which is -- how’s that even happen? How would I not remember almost having a daughter, Ben? She was real. She wasn’t just…” Get it all out, Pete. “Halloween would’ve been her birthday. That’s why I knew that date. That’s why.”
“Needing a psychic…” Ben breathed out. He’d stuck with the jokes then, not pushing and figuring if it was really bad, Pete might eventually tell him, but considering all the stuff that went on in their head and actually wanting someone to go poking around in there, well… privacy seemed like the best option. Plus, well, then he’d gotten a little distracted…
He rubbed a hand over his face before taking a tentative step towards Peter. “Mad scientists usually. Or wonky time travel… although those memories usually stay linear in your head even if it’s the same time frame…” He waved a hand to stop that thought. There were a few suspects he could think that’d mess with either of their memories, but… Why this memory? That didn’t make sense. Not that the Jackal’s plans ever made sense lately, but still… And why have it start slipping apart now? He usually had timing and triggers set up for his mind bombs… “Is… is it just her? I mean, you said… back in your world, you and MJ… was May just… oops?”
“Unplanned? Yeah.” Again, that was a memory from years ago, but it felt like it had just been dusted off. “It’s not just her, though. There’s…” How far did he really want to get into this? Peter bit his lip, but the rational thought was that maybe talking it out would help.
“MJ remembers her, too. You told me to get going to the hospital, but Osborn wasn’t up for a time-out. By the time I got there… I…” That image of MJ’s face when he’d walked in the room. They hadn’t gone home with a daughter. It just wasn’t in the cards.
Peter walked over to the sofa, finally. That thread was unravelling way too fast, and he just needed to take a moment. He sank down into the cushion and stared ahead. “That can’t be how it went. Wouldn’t I remember that? I’d remember that.”
Oh… oh that… Ben assumed that the ‘almost had’ and ‘would have’ was because of having two conflicting memories. Not… The trailing off, well, it didn’t speak of a happy ending. Especially with Osborn popping up. Again. He watched Pete a moment before reclaiming his seat. Reaching out slowly, he lightly rubbed his hand over Pete’s back.
“Pete… I’m sorry…” he murmured softly. Even if there was questions of where the memory came from, it was still a gut-stabber. He remembered the stress leading up to those moments, especially if something kept someone from them. To be kept away and then… He didn’t know how the sentence was going to end and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know… His hand slid up to squeeze Peter’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out, yeah? Maybe… maybe it’s some side-effect of being here or all that multiverse traveling…” Which, sure, that’d cover Peter, but MJ remembered… And if it was all of them together, others besides just them would be affected, right? “The X-Man? Could they sort out the two memory sets? That… I don’t know… is one broadcasting out from somewhere else?”
Asking for that support never came easy, but Ben hopping right in was more than appreciated. Peter just hated that it came to this; he shouldn’t need any help. Ben was still dealing with a life-changing curse. Benjy needed a family. May was new to this place and didn’t need any of his trouble to deal with on top of her own. At least in this closed-off room, it seemed like the brunt of it was contained. No one outside these walls was gonna have to deal with a lost Peter Parker.
“S’what I thought,” Peter finally admitted. He stooped forward, locking his hands over his mouth. It was hard to pinpoint what he thought about any of it, and that wasn’t helped in the least by a strained heart. “Static on the station. Something about Benjy was pushing this into our heads. Rachel said there was a block. Something wasn’t letting her pry in there and see what was going on, but… I swear, everyday there’s more. I know what it’s like when someone’s messing with your brain. After Ock, I mean -- I know what that’s like. This is -- this isn’t that. I don’t know what it is. I have no idea what’s happening, and I can’t stop it, and MJ’s… MJ’s got this feeling like maybe we did this to ourselves. I just… I have no idea, Ben.”
Ben kept his hand resting on Pete’s back. Just a reassuring point of contact, but easy enough to shrug off to not feel stifling. “A block?” he asked, his brow knit in worry. A block that wasn’t letting a telepath in. That was… ok, he didn’t know that much about telepaths and what could and couldn’t stop them, just that dating one could get complicated sometimes, but… blocks that actually stopped them seemed rare. That was something powerful and… He shook his head. “If you did it to yourselves… Unless you’ve been holding out on some new power of yours or MJ’s, you’d need help if a psychic can’t get through it and see what’s going on. I know we’re stellar at repressing, but… yeah, that’s just not in our wheelhouse… Especially projecting it…”
He blew out a breath. Where to start. What to do. Pete need helped, even if it was just getting everything out in the open air. Release a bit of that turmoil so he wouldn’t pop. “Ok…” he said softly before nodding. “Ok, maybe… yeah, a timeline. Maybe if we can pinpoint at least a timeframe that doesn’t have an overlap, maybe that could kickstart some fishy event, otherwise…” He shook his head. “I don’t know, are there experts on parallel universe travel and side effects that’d… only be affecting two people… that we know of…” He frowned. “Ok, that didn’t keep the positive note I wanted, so, overlap, yeah, what new things are you remembering? We got May, which… that’d still be when I came back to New York, yeah?”
“Ock did a number on my brain, but yeah -- MJ, too. Which really just makes me wanna say this has to be my doing. Somehow…” His words echoed a bit within his raised hands, and Peter kept staring straight ahead. It was hard to say if this talk was actually helping, but at least a little of the pressure that was building had a release. Whether or not that was a good thing was up to how the rest of this panned out. Maybe he should’ve just sat on it and held fast. Ben meant well, but what if this was it? And now Ben was gonna feel obligated to help fix something that maybe didn’t have a fix…
“I know exactly where things split. No need to Sherlock Holmes it, Ben,” Peter softly replied, though his voice wasn’t half as collected as he was trying to pretend to be. “There was a moment before the wedding. I could swear I missed it, but now I have this second memory telling me I didn’t. Everything after that… it’s like a shift. Like it’s ten degrees twisted off the original mark. Everything except…” Harry. His best friend. It wasn’t rehab according to the new memories. It was a grave plot way before his time. Peter forced himself to keep talking. “Harry, but I don’t -- he’s alive. We talked not that long ago. But I remember the funeral, too.”
“And here I was eying a great hat and pipe I found in storage,” Ben couldn’t help quipping. Another habit. When in times of stress, toss a joke out. Especially when someone close to you was hurting… “Plus, Pete, c’mon… even if there was no way you could be responsible for this, you’d still be trying to find a way to take the blame. Which…” He shook his head. “There’s still gotta be some third party here…”
Ok, so, baby May… the marriage… and… “Harry? He’s…” He pressed his lips together. These new memories were a minefield. Getting married, yeah, that had to be a good memory, but knowing it was gone… then there was May… and now… He took a deep breath as he squeezed Peter’s shoulder again. “I reme- ok, I… I don’t… I… I was away when…” Harry died. It still hurt, even if there was no way that Ben could have what he remembered having with Peter’s best friend and roommate. He ducked his head letting out that deep breath. “ Ok… so… so from the wedding to now… or… I mean… now back home… there’s… two sets of memories? It…” He shook his head. “Pete, if it was just you, I’d be right with you there on the static or some… we were so busy just jumping around with all those portal machines, I wouldn’t be surprised if some other universe’s spider slammed into you instead of getting snacked up and it’s taken this long to show up… But with MJ…” His lips twisted up. “This is just jumbling things up more, isn’t it?”
“With MJ, yeah,” Peter echoed. That was maybe the part that kept that blame squarely on his shoulders. MJ was suffering, and whatever this was, it had to trace back to something he’d done. There was no way this wasn’t somehow his fault, even if Ben was trying to shove him off his stubborn position. “I…” Peter shook his head. “It’s jumbled, but that’s just -- I don’t think there’s a fix. Not without pulling in all these other people, and then I gotta give ‘em permission to get in my head, and…”
Peter shrugged. “I dunno what’s next. Maybe it’ll go away the same way it came up. Here’s hoping, right?”
Ben pressed his lips together. That was the hang-up, wasn’t it? They didn’t know what was causing this, only that it was mental and while there were people who could help with that… It’d be a bunch of people poking around in Peter’s head, searching for an answer that might never come if the ‘how’ was something that wasn’t in the psychics’ wheelhouses. Or something they could fix… So, lots of testing for best case scenario a ‘tough shit’ answer… Oh yeah, he had no idea what that was like.
“We keep an eye on it. See if any of these new memories give a hint and that you and MJ stay healthy with all this head jumbling.” He pat Pete on the back. “And if you get a whammy of a memory that sends you reeling, you can vent to me. Just let it out. Maybe a story swap. Something like that.” Putting on a grin, he pushed himself up and offered his hand to Peter. “As for what’s next now? I’ve found some kinda ok cliffs ‘round here. Nothing like climbing around back home, but…” He shrugged. “It’s something if you want.”
“Yeah,” Peter answered. His voice felt miles away, but perhaps it was just because he was so lost in his own thoughts. An awareness that Ben had offered a distraction made him shake his head, though. “Maybe another time, huh? I actually gotta go check on something over in tech, and you…” Ben’s hair was still jutted upward at odd angles. “You look all funned out.”
The evasion that hadn’t come into play earlier was working overtime now. Peter half hopped to his feet. “Pencil me in for later this week, and I’ll have my people talk to your people. Sound like a plan? Awesome!”
The disappointed look lasted only a second, just a brief flicker, the worry staying just a moment more. This was a start. Ben at least knew why Pete was distance and, well, the introspection was hard to fight when there was just one set of memories hanging around. Some burying himself in work might be good. Process the conversation and all that. Plus… “For you, bro, I can muster up energy for a walk, but…” A crooked grin. “... yeaaaaaaaaah. Shower and bed are calling loudly.”
He poked Pete in the shoulder before heading in that direction. “So you. Pen that walk in. Since you’re your people and my people, boss man. Whenever you want because I guarantee, I’ll be dragging you out the door before you can even get the word ‘outside’ out.”