You want something I can't give, anyway. Do you want an apology? Fine. I'm sorry. How does that feel? Genuine? No, it doesn't. And it won't, even if I explain everything. You want the Loki that was, and you want him to get on the soap box and tell you why he did what he did. You want him to open up all the old wounds and convince you he was worth your friendship. You want him to say it was all his fault, and there's nothing he can ever do to make it all up to you.
I can't give that. It's never going to happen. I can't fix everything he did. I can't piece everything back together with a heartfelt bottle of I'm-Sorry glue. I did my best in accepting that I needed to change from what he was, and I did that. I remember the team. I remember the guilt. Does it mean I carry it as my anchor? It doesn't because if I did, I'd be right back in that cycle of ruining everything and everyone around me.
I broke that cycle. I broke it.
You need me to be a certain kind of Loki. I think several people around here do. But I make the calls now. I'm the Loki you get.