steve rogers (willingtopay) wrote in the100, @ 2015-06-23 00:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, carol danvers / captain marvel (616), steve rogers / captain america (mcu) |
WHO: Steve Rogers & Carol Danvers
WHEN: Last night.
WHERE: Carol's room! Again!
WHAT: Steve's timing continues to be really bad. Their cute snuggly night in gets interrupted by a blast from Steve's past, and they both have to process what that might mean.
WARNINGS: There is kissing and partial nudity!
If there was one thing that surprised Steve about living in this world, it was that there was always something to do. He’d imagined there would be more downtime without the same benefits of the modern world there to entertain them, but somehow, he ended up filling the time with something, whether it was work (which it often was) or getting to know the people who lived in Mount Weather with him. Maybe he was just made of simpler stuff than some of the people around here and that was why he wasn’t bored or put-off by the simplicity of the lives they held now. He didn’t have a world to save, but was that so bad? He could still be useful. And the rest of the time -- when he wasn’t up half the night on the job because he didn’t need sleep like regular people did, or when he wasn’t retrieving a pod’s contents, or trying to learn everything he could about the world they were living in (because how else was he going to be any sort of council member if he didn’t know the world, the laws, and the people?) -- he tried to spend with Carol. They weren’t always successful in coordinating their time, but he tried to take advantage of any time at all whenever he could, even if it was just five minutes. Ever since she’d told him she loved him, he’d felt a stronger need to be around her. He knew he was being sappy, but he didn’t care. They had a little more time than just five minutes to spare, finally, but he was worn out from trying to figure out what had happened to all the missing people, along with everything else, and he had a feeling it was weighing on Carol’s mind too. They were in her room, stretched out on her bed, her feet in his lap. All he really wanted -- no, not all, but the most important thing -- was for them to just relax and be there with each other. Before she disappears too, he couldn’t help thinking. He rubbed the arch of her foot one more time before sliding a hand up her calf. “Should I keep going?” "Yes," Carol whined, curling her toes and rolling her ankle. "God, yeah." She didn't want to talk about the missing people, because talking about missing people meant thinking about what would happen when Steve disappeared -- not "if", but "when." It looked like no one was really safe from it, no one was immune, and she had to confront the reality that this wasn't going to last. She just wanted to exist right here, right now, and forget that she felt responsible for letting these missing people slip. She knew it wasn't her fault, but as the guard who'd sort of wrangled everyone into a checkpoint system, she felt like it was her problem that she needed to solve, even if it couldn't be solved. People were disappearing into thin air, Carol couldn't fight that. Still, it was weighing heavily on her, and she was struggling to relax and just enjoy this. Steve's hands were pretty convincing, though, and she pulled a pillow under her head while she settled. "More, please." Steve's movements slowed as he listened to the sound of her voice and watched her express. He felt his breath catch in his throat for a moment, and then exhaled in a laugh. "I didn't think it was that good," he said, kneading the pads of his fingers into her calf. "If you're going to sound like that the entire time, I'm not going to get very far here." Which, he thought, wouldn't be a bad thing. That would be a good thing. But he had a mission, and he wasn't going to shake that yet. He returned his attention to her other foot. It was nice, honestly, to have the chance to make her sigh, to know he was responsible. He could've watched her for hours. "It's nice that I never have to guess how you feel. You put it all out there. It's helpful." He lifted her leg and kissed her ankle. "Among other things." Carol laughed softly, lightly nudging his jaw with the side of her foot. "Are you saying I'm loud?" Hell, she knew she was. She wasn't going to keep her mouth shut if she liked something, she wanted to express how much she liked it so she could get more of it. And right now, what she liked was Steve's hands working over the tired muscles in her legs. Super strength and super stamina aside, she did a lot of standing all day, and sooner her later her feet and legs had to get tired. Sooner or later she just wanted some positive attention. She couldn't remember the last time she got a massage from someone — but then again, that wasn't saying much, considering the state of her memories. She gave him another little nudge with her toes, wriggling her hips slightly to get more comfortable. "I think you love it when I'm loud." Rolling her ankle, she stretched out her leg and pressed back into his hands. "After you do me, I'll do you. And I'm taking these clothes off you." There was no denying that she was right - and they both knew it - so Steve didn't try. He didn't want to pretend otherwise, anyway. There was no point in being ashamed of it. He did blush, however, and he grinned as he got back to work on her foot. "Before or after you do me?" he asked, glancing over at her. "This isn't about me, for the record. This isn't about me wanting the same in return. I mean - if you want to..." Not for the first time, he thought about how nice it was that he didn't have to hold his strength back with her. With a regular girl, he would have worried constantly about hurting her if he wasn't careful, even for something as simple as a foot massage. But he wasn't going to hurt Carol. "I wouldn't mind. I'm just not looking for anything right now beyond making you feel good." No matter what they were doing, that was his main concern: how she felt, not how he did. "And you're right, I do love it. I wasn't complaining." Carol grinned, slumping back with a little groan. "God damn, soldier, I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. This isn't about me. Just for that, you get a foot massage. And a back massage. And … everything else. Gonna work all that tension outta you…" She stretched her arms up, arching her back up off the mattress, and looked as perfectly happy as her cat did when she scratched her belly. "You can go harder than that, Steve, I can take it." She purred, stretching out her toes. Oh, yeah. Steve was at zero risk of hurting her. “Sounds like I’m the lucky one,” he commented. He liked making her feel that way, like she was lucky, like she was special. She’d done so much for him already. The least he could do was show her a little love in return. Or a lot, if he had it his way. Steve pressed his fingers into her foot harder, rubbing in small circles. “You can take it harder, huh? That sounds…” He paused as he tried to figure out how he wanted to describe it. “More sexual than you meant? Or did you mean it to sound that way?” He set her foot down and crawled up alongside her, dancing a hand up her side as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Shoulders next?” Carol kissed his mouth, intending it to be quick, but at some point her plans changed, and she lingered for another. And another. "My shoulders can wait," she murmured, pushing him down onto the mattress and crawling over him. She grinned, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Don't get me wrong, you're gonna do them. You're just going to do more than just my shoulders." “That was always the plan,” Steve answered, tipping his head back and stretching out his neck. “Except I don’t think we’ll get to your shoulders this way.” He slid his hands up from her hips to her waist, and around to her back to hold her close for a moment. “I know how this ends. You’ll wear me out and I’ll fall asleep.” That wasn’t usually a problem -- although he really didn’t want to rush through the stash they’d collected from Nico’s magical mishap -- but he had ideas that he wanted to see through first. After another long, drawn-out kiss, he looked up at her, hoping to win her over with the same pout that Jan said was hard to resist. “Humor me. Be patient. I’ll make it worth the wait.” He smiled slowly. “Besides, you just said you’d take my clothes off after I’m done. C’mon. Get up. Let me finish.” Carol scrunched her nose, her hands on his chest and pinning him down until she sighed. Oh, what a hardship, oh, how inconvenient. She sat up, sitting comfortably on his hips, just so she could strip out of her t-shirt and toss it off the bed. She slipped out of the straps of her bra before just opting to unhook it and take it off entirely. Shoulder massages just weren't good through clothing. Grinning, she rolled off of him to flop heavily down beside him, lying on her stomach and resting her head on her arms. "Then get to it, soldier." She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his chest. He really was the lucky one, Steve thought. He knew he’d never forget the way she looked right then, confident and brazen, like she knew exactly what she was doing. He felt a lot more in that moment than lust (although that was definitely there too). Admiration, gratitude, love. They’d found themselves in a world that didn’t make much sense, but they had each other. That was worth more to Steve than he could say, and that, in large part, was why he wanted the chance to show her how he felt. Steve wasn’t great with words, but he could show her. “Yes, ma’am.” Steve sat up and pulled his own shirt off too, tossing it over to where Carol had thrown hers. His tablet was blinking, and absent-mindedly, he picked it up to check the network, just to make sure everything was fine before he gave Carol his undivided attention. Natasha knew where to find him if there was an emergency, but not everyone else would, and with everything going on, Steve didn’t want either of them to miss something important while they were otherwise occupied. A lot of people were counting on them. A second later, he found himself wishing he’d ignored it. He could have sworn his heart stopped for a second. “Hey, uh --” He set the device down and leaned over to kiss Carol’s shoulder. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have… I was worried we might miss something. And I knew we wouldn’t be coming up to breathe any time soon, so I just wanted to be sure…” He had a hand on her back, his thumb moving back and forth across her shoulder blade. “I think Peggy’s here.” For a second, Carol was sure her heart stopped. She scrambled up to sit, tugging one of the pillows against her breasts and hugging it tight. "What? What, oh my God…" She scooted close in an attempt to see Steve's tablet, her hand coming up to her mouth. Her first concern, her immediate reaction, was for Steve. He'd lost Peggy in a way that most people couldn't understand, loved her but never got the chance to do anything much about it, and now she was here..? She picked up the tablet so she could see it herself. "Are you …" She fumbled for the right question to ask. "Are you okay? Are you … you should—" She tapped the screen. "Talk to her," she said, shoving the tablet at him. “I don’t --” Steve frowned, looking at Carol and then at the screen, and then back. “What am I supposed to say?” As selfish as it was, for a moment, he wished something else had happened instead. He felt guilty almost as soon as the thought crossed his mind, but this -- a nice night in with his girlfriend interrupted -- was not how it was supposed to go. He took a deep breath and then typed out a quick reply. Was he okay? He didn’t feel okay, but he was more worried about how Peggy would take to him being alive, and about how Carol was. He felt more stunned than anything else. It had always been possible, he knew that. If other people from his life could be there, from his past, then so could Peggy. He just really hadn’t expected it. He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “This isn’t how I pictured tonight. I’m so sorry.” He reached for Carol’s hand, wanting something to tether him again, to make everything feel like it was going to be okay, even if he had no idea how he was supposed to explain anything to Peggy. He kissed her knuckles. “I’ll make it up to you.” Carol squeezed his hand tight, maybe a little tighter than she intended. It was starting to creep up on her that Peggy was here. "Hey, interruptions happen. Usually it's work. This isn't work." She tried to sound understanding. She tried to encourage him. Peggy was important to him, incredibly so, and he deserved to drop everything to go find her — but Carol's smiles felt a little too forced as she started putting up walls around her heart. She knew what was coming, and she had to build up her defenses. "Go find her, give her a hug. Give her that dance you owe her," she said, lightly kissing his knuckles before releasing his hand. She hugged the pillow instead. Steve nodded and exhaled, trying to slow his heartbeat. If Carol said it was okay for him to go, then it was okay. He could go see Peggy and make sure she was okay, and he could reassure her that he was. They had a lot of time to cover, and he knew she’d want to know everything that had happened to him. It wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. Important things were rarely easy in Steve’s experience. The last time he’d seen Peggy, her memory slipped away from her, and she’d forgotten that he’d visited her before, that they’d even found him at all. This was going to be a hell of a lot different than that. It took another moment for Steve to really understand what it was Carol was saying when she told him to give Peggy the dance he owed her. She’d pulled her hand away, and she was sitting there like she was trying to keep some distance, or protect herself. “Hey,” he whispered, scooting closer to her. He put his hands on her shoulders, and then slid one up to cup her jaw. “Listen. I love you. You know I’m coming back, right?” Carol wanted to say yes, of course she knew that, but saying it didn't come so easily. So she tried it, but the conviction wasn't there, and her voice was just a little too high when she said, "Yeah, no, I know. I know." She closed her eyes, just taking a moment to enjoy Steve's hands against her. She didn't consider herself a pessimist, but maybe it was all the new, ugly memories of who she was several years ago, maybe it was the mental exhaustion of working with Betsy or just from working constantly, but it was hard to shake the feeling that this wasn't going to last much longer. "I love you," she said quietly, leaning against his hand. She didn't want to be that girl, she didn't want to keep Steve from Peggy if he wanted to see what he'd lost out on, but her I love you was a plea for him to come back. He could tell she wasn’t convinced, and although he wished she could believe him when he told her he’d be back, he knew that was easier said than done. Steve wasn’t angry about that. He knew he’d have some doubts if one of her ex-boyfriends showed up -- or if not doubts, then definitely insecurities. Their relationship was new, and Steve was out of his depth. The only thing he really knew was how he felt. He didn’t want her to doubt what they had, or him. It was up to him to prove she could trust him. Steve leaned in to kiss the corner of her mouth. “I can stay.” As important as seeing Peggy was, Carol was important too. If he asked, he suspected Carol would still insist that it was okay, even if it wasn’t. He knew, just from her insistence that he talk to Peggy in the first place, that she wouldn’t want to get in the middle. But staying would be an easy decision as far as Steve was concerned. Peggy would probably be there in the morning; Carol might not be, and he didn’t want to leave like this. His hand slipped around to the back of her neck, threading through her hair, and he wrapped his other arm around her shoulders. “You have my heart. Nothing’s going to change that.” Carol opened her mouth to protest. He didn't have to stay, he needed to go see her. She started to shake her head, but Steve pulled her in and cradled her and no, no, she didn't want him to leave. She let go of the pillow when she tipped her face up to kiss him. Soft, slow. "I love you," she said again, pushing the pillow aside so she could wrap her arms around his waist and pull him in. "And I …" Telling him to leave and go see Peggy was the right thing to do, it was what she should have done if she was just a little less selfish, a little more giving. She wasn't quite selfless enough. They were all trapped here, anyway; Peggy could wait a few minutes. "Go see her in a second," she breathed, kissing Steve's jaw, his throat. You have my heart. He'd really said that, and it made her stomach tighten with need. Just a few more minutes, and then she'd let him go. Her lips traced over his skin, brushing against his collarbone before moving back up to his ear. "In a second … in a bit …" Steve's heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest as she kissed him and told him that she loved him. Maybe it was all happening too quickly, their relationship and how he felt, but Steve hadn't felt so sure about something in a long time. And he had a hell of a time resisting her when her lips were against his throat and her skin was so warm against his own. He could spare a few minutes for something that felt so right. "In a second." Steve's voice rumbled, low and desperate. He held her tighter and turned his face so he could kiss her lips again, savoring every second. "Or maybe a few minutes," he added with a laugh. "You're awfully hard to resist when… well, all the time. And I promise, I'll make this all up to you, and then some." This wasn't over yet, not as long as he had any choice in the matter. He'd spend every day they had left making sure she knew that he wasn't giving up on them. "I'll let you go in a minute — ten minutes — I swear." Carol caught his lips in another kiss, her hands gliding easily over his sides, his chest, and finally up to cradle his face. She needed this. She needed him. Whether or not they'd be all right was going to be a matter of time. |