Sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking, doing this. I really wanted to be less diplomatic, but that wouldn't have been helpful. Not everyone was patient when it came to Emma. We didn't have to make demands for justice and promises of punishment before we even began an investigation.
SHIELD - well, it was really led by HYDRA, at that point, but either way, they labeled me a traitor. I lied to Secretary Pierce, so they tried to have me killed. Several times. Called a manhunt for me. Whatever I did or didn't do, it didn't matter. I didn't have a voice, and I still have to deal with people questioning whether or not I'm trustworthy anymore. Once something like that is out there, you can't get it back. Someone will latch onto it, and it will grow. Something like that is unstoppable. And I think about Bucky, and all of the things they made him do. If the public knew, they'd call for justice, too. If the media got ahold of it, he'd be made into a monster before we ever got his side of the story out. It makes me sick just thinking about it. How are we supposed to get anyone to understand if they've already made up their minds?
And then this Coalition thing. I don't like their way of doling out punishments, but I don't see how isolating ourselves forever is going to help our relations with the Grounder clans. They associate this mountain with people who did that very thing, and we're far more powerful than the first Mountain Men ever were. Maybe this is our chance to influence the way they do things, too. Maybe this is how we can have an impact on the alliance. And in the end, I'm only one voice. No matter what reservations I have about the sort of laws we'll be subject to, this isn't a dictatorship, and we need help. We're learning a lot of basic survival skills through experience alone, and not because we came into it with a knowledge of farming or carpentry. We haven't even managed to build outdoor housing here, and we were working on that last year, so why is the best solution colonize another area? And we haven't even gotten into how dangerous some of what I've seen lately is. There is still so much suspicion and fear within our community. Some of the Skaikru don't like the Grounders (or us, for that matter), some of the Podkru don't like the Skaikru. I'm failing here, Peggy. None of this is getting any better. It's getting worse.