Storybrooke: Malia Zale
If you're interested in sharing the magic of the wilderness with your offspring, sign up for this Saturday's hike through the Storybrooke Wilderness Park. Participants will be given a small bag of granola, and water. It will probably be perfect for small children, unless I encounter a snake, in which case I can all but guarantee that the language will be intended for adults only.
You can trust me with your children's lives. I was a child once, and I was a great child. Just ask my sister. I believe in positive reinforcement, capital punishment, not holding back about the destruction of the ozone layer, and reverent silence. If your kid is a whiner I may threaten to feed him to a bear, but I would never do that. It's just a hilarious joke. I would be working at the animal shelter because trust me, I prefer pets to your kids, but the animal shelter requires that I be over the age of 18 for the fun jobs, so here we all are.
The hike is sponsored by the nonprofit organization 'Make Like a Tree'. This post is not. Nature! Yeah!!