College was a little more, uh... purpose fulfillment for me? I didn't really have a plan B if I didn't make it through the forensics program, so I thrived on fear of failure, like, every waking hour. It worked. I mean, I can tell you it worked, even if there was probably a more chill version of the whole thing.
I kind of get the denial thing? Once you start keeping a secret identity and you stop accidentally letting people in on it, it's hard to start fessing up again.