Steve/Wanda
I think what you need to remember is that you're not her, just like I'm not the Steve they know. You're a completely different person, with your own history, your own thoughts and feelings and dreams.
You're going through a lot as it is, losing him. If it's disappointing to them, so be it. You have to take care of yourself first, and if you're not as ready as they are, then that's absolutely fine. There's nothing wrong with that.