InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm the oh God of Hangovers."

Josh Foley (fatedtouch) wrote in tensor,
@ 2011-05-18 10:41:00

Entry tags:

josh_foley, kevin_ford

Kevin
Josh was nervous. He didn't like the fact that he was nervous about something that related to Kevin. Unfortunately, a few months of unaccustomed and unwelcome feelings in regard to his boyfriend helped soften the blow. It didn't make him any less nervous however. In fact, it made him more nervous.

He'd ordered the gift half a year ago, when everything had been normal and happy for them. When they still understood one another. When every thought, gesture or spoken word from Josh wasn't some delegated time bomb to hurt Kevin. Not that he was doing it on purpose. God, if he could be doing none of it at all!

The unfortunate fact was, he was and he would continue to. He didn't know how long it would last. He didn't know how long any of them could endure it. And the minute one of them could no longer bear it would be the minute Josh lost everything.

He mentally shook himself. Today was not that day. Today, Kevin still loved him. More importantly, no, most importantly today was Kevin's birthday. A day that, eighteen years ago - even before he was born - would change Josh's life forever.

He smiled to himself and fingered the wrapped box. God, he hoped he didn't hate it.

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_touchless_
2011-05-18 03:40 pm UTC (link)

Kevin almost didn't to meet Josh. They'd played together every day but Saturday since Josh had gotten the Nagyvary, leaking their pain and heartache all over each other in their music, and Kevin just...wasn't sure he could take it today. Could take an hour of hurting each other before sending Josh off to Julian for comfort. Knowing that no matter how miserable and broken he was, once the door closed behind him it would all be over for Josh. That he'd be happy and eager for his time with Julian while Kevin would go to sit in the silent ruin of his studio and try desperately not to think of them together. And fail. As usual.

He'd already blown everything else off today, even training. Not willing to risk running into them in classes or hallways, or to put up with the pitying looks and whispers or hesitant questions from people who'd noticed, couldn't help but notice, how things had changed. How Julian and Josh were together now.

In the end, though, he couldn't keep himself away. He'd probably never be able to, no matter how pathetic it was, though he was almost ten minutes late when he finally knocked on the door to Josh's studio and stood there waiting for an answer.

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