Absent the sort of response he was expecting, it took him a few moments to catch up with what she was saying.
What could he possibly say to that? How was there any possible way for this to- And how was it even- Was there even a possibility that- And how the fuck is a woman not sure?
The faster his thoughts went the stiller his body got, his shoulders squaring and his expression sobering. His body steeled itself against the sinking sensation in his stomach. Try as he might, however, it was impossible to keep his mind from thrusting into his consciousness memories of the last time... anything like this had happened. It was his unconscious mind's constant endeavor, preventing him from comparing Amarissa to Lily. It wasn't fair to any of them, but sometimes he couldn't help it. Amarissa wasn't Lily's replacement - hell, James didn't know that he could endure a replacement - it was just complicated. How was he supposed to help it? The two scenes were held juxtaposed in his mind's eye when he realized he was actually entertaining the notion. Lily, all nerves and excitement and fear and love; and then Amarissa before him, solemn and rigidly controlled. Merlin, if there was a child, there were-
For a moment he hung in the balance. It suddenly didn't seem like the sort of joke Amarissa would go in for. Not like this. Still, it was just too... much. His hand slipped away from her body, suddenly feeling like there was much too close for him to think clearly. Too close to her- Merlin, he couldn't even seriously be thinking about this. As his eyes swept over his body he drank down the second shot before taking a step back from her, trying to push red hair and green eyes out of his head. That it required concerted effort on his part stroked at a sense of guilt that rarely even roused itself anymore.
"You said I couldn't have any more children," he finally said, once he arrived to lean back against the opposing counter.
His words might have sounded accusing if they weren't so wooden.