Leila was so unsure about exactly what she was going to say to him if he came. A part of her was actually praying that he wouldn't show up, but then that same part of her would have been incredibly disappointed. She loved Tyler, she truly did, and the break up was in effect of her 'illness.' Quite honestly? She was tired of the doctors and such referring to it as an illness or something, like she was insane. It was psychological, yes, but she didn't think she was insane. Not for the eating disorder, at least..
She decided not to even try to dress up for this, and instead wore a pair of sweatpants and a black shirt. The sweatpants were loose, and she was slowly gaining weight, now. It was still uncomfortable for her to know that she would have to gain more in order for her to fully recover, and she knew that it was necessary. But she didn't like it any more just because of that.
Glancing up when he approached, she tucked her hair behind her ears and fidgeted nervously with her hands. He was the only one that could make her this nervous. Normally, she was fine with people and so free with them. But with Tyler, especially now, it was different. She managed a weak smile in return, and greeted him, as well. "Hey.. I'm glad you came." Her initial response to seeing him was to hug him - but she figured that would be an incredibly dumb idea for her right now. Instead, she stayed where she was, and spoke from there.
"I had to find some other way to get your attention, and I'm glad it worked. I didn't want to talk to you on the phone, or on the internet or whatever. First.. I need you to know how sorry I am, and how fucking stupid I was for hiding.. all of what happened from you, cause otherwise I think this might not have ever happened. It was my stupid, selfish way of pushing you away so you wouldn't find out about it," she sighed, focusing on the ground on front of her before finally continuing after a few minutes.
"I do mean it, Tyler. I do love you and I always will. When I was younger I used to fantasize about my wedding and being in love, going to the beach and holding hands, going on vacations together with someone.. But all of that doesn't mean shit if it's not with you. And you just coming here tonight already proves that you're a better person than I am, since I couldn't even tell you what was going on cause I was afraid you would just leave me right then and there. And honestly, ba- Tyler, I do understand if you don't or won't trust me again, and don't want to be my friend, even. But also? I don't even know if I could be just your friend. You're not a fling to me, and you never were."
Leila began to pace back and forth, and ran her fingers through her hair, not really giving a shit about how she looked right now. It didn't matter, anyways. "I don't really know if I can live my life without you in it, and I just.. I needed to see you," she turned and stopped pacing to lock eyes with him. "I needed you to listen to me and to know that I really am sorry, and that I will always be in love with you, Tyler Jackson."