Narrative - Zephyr Way/Dhani Lang WHO Zephyr Way (Town Mouse) and Dhani Lang (Wolf), with a cameo by Caleb Zale (Whope) WHAT Narrative – Trying to work things out, and truths being told... WHEN Late-ish Tuesday afternoon, Jan 8 WHERE Dhani’s place, mostly NOTES Rated R, for sensitive subjects, violence and language, I suppose. This is approx six pages in Word. Please don’t kill me. It’s just that this thing is quite dependent on narratives to progress, so it can eventually be over. :P Also, big thanks to Sab for helping me get the dialogue IC at the end. ♥
After forty-five minutes of hanging around Zephyr’s place, trying to convince Zephyr he was doing the right thing, him and Caleb was on their way to Dhani’s place. Zephyr sat stony-faced staring straight out the windshield of Caleb’s car, as Caleb kept one eye on the road and one at his best friend, coming with suggestions and advice. The words reached Zephyr’s ears and he did his best to acknowledge them, but his insides were in quite a mess right now. The blank face didn’t tell on his anxiety for once, but he sort of wished he could just let the feelings out and not have them bottled up. He felt it would’ve been better to get it all out now, rather than risk taking it out on Dhani. Because he was really going to try to be collected this time. He couldn’t promise he’d be nice, but he was going to try to avoid arguments to whatever extent it was possible.
Pulling up outside the apartment complex, Caleb turned the engine of and put a hand on Zephyr’s shoulder. Zeph nervously tugged at the hood covering his head, glancing around the car to see if he could get out safely.
“Be careful, Zeph,” he heard Caleb say. “Be understanding, okay? You can handle this.”
“I sure fucking hope so...” Zephyr mumbled, biting his lip. “Thanks again, Cal,” he said, hand on the door opener.
“No problem.” Caleb’s hand gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You can do this, Zeph.”
Zephyr’s nod was more of an automatic reaction than an actual confirmation. Scared out of his ways, he stepped out of the car, hurrying in through the door and started making his way to the third floor.
* * *
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Dhani had spent the last six or so hours alternately freaking out and cleaning the apartment. The result was that it was cleaner than she ever remembered it being before, and she was exhausted. She felt sick to her stomach, but there was nothing to throw up. And here she thought the abortion would put an end to the illness.
Lying on the floor of her bedroom, she stared up at the ceiling. By now, about three days after she’d broke the false news to anyone who wanted to know, she knew she’d made a wrong call, and she only had herself to blame. Her brain had just... When Zephyr had claimed he was sleeping with Zeke, something in her head had simply backfired, and here was the result. She’d seen the tabloids. The way they feasted on one little rumour made her even sicker, and even though she’d experienced reading about herself when she was with Zeke... This was so very different.
She still regretted breaking up with Zeke. Only she couldn’t tell him that, because she did have quite a lot of pride in her body. Instead, she’d chosen to bother him, and one way to do this was by sleeping with his bandmates. Well, one of them, at least. Spencer was being loyal to Zeke, even though Dhani knew that, had the circumstances been different, Spencer wouldn’t hesitate. And Jon, well... Dhani frankly had never had much interest in him. But Zephyr was such an easy target. He would sleep with anyone willing, it was a well-known fact. And Zephyr himself was willing most of the time.
It had happened twice. Of course, Zephyr had been drunk both times. Not too unusual either. Dhani didn’t know why she hadn’t settled with one... or, well, she did. The first time had passed Zeke by unnoticed. She grimaced, not liking the way she made herself sound like a first-class whore.
Because she could be called that. At least, that’s how she felt right now.
Fuck. She should have known better than to pull a thing like this. The doctor had said, and she knew beforehand, that she could be feeling down after the abortion. So this situation really wasn’t ideal in anyway. That’s why, when she heard a car pull up outside, the pang of anxiety in her stomach caused her to curl into a ball, before quickly scrambling to her feet and rushing to the bathroom, actually throwing up for the first time. One hand steadying her as she fell to her knees by the toilet, the other one pulling her hair out of the way, she wish intently that she could turn back time.
* * *
This time, Zephyr knocked on the door as opposed to entering without invitation. Dhani’s voice came faintly from inside after a few moments, telling him to enter. Most of all, Zephyr wanted to run away, go back home, forget about the whole thing. But he remembered Zeke’s words, Caleb’s words, his mother’s words... Pressing the handle, he went inside.
“...Dhani?” A very different approach than three days ago.
“I’ll be right with you. Sit down... somewhere.”
Zephyr was at a total loss of what to do, why he was still standing by the door when Dhani came out of the bathroom, the smile she attempted not quite working out.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” What more could he say? “You look... pale. Are you okay?”
She shrugged. “A little sick, is all. As it comes.”
“Yeah...”
They’d never been the most talkative people, but right now it was worse than ever. Especially as they both knew the reason Zephyr was there.
“Living room?” Dhani suggested, and Zephyr nodded, following her into the next room.
Sitting down at opposite ends of the sofa, neither of them seemed very willing to start. Zephyr was picking at a hole in the cushion he was sitting on, thinking through possible ways to get the ball rolling. Finally looking up, he drew breath and asked, “How far gone are you?”
* * *
“How far gone are you?”
The question was a simple one, but the answer oh so complex. She could do it in parts, though. “A month and a half.”
Like she’d predicted, this brought a confused expression to his face. “...That doesn’t make sense. We... It only happened a month ago.”
So he knew that much. Biting her lip, Dhani looked down in her lap. There was a stain on her jeans, of what she didn’t want to know. “...That was the second time.” Glancing up, she could tell from Zephyr’s expression that he wasn’t going to reply, so she continued. “Yeah... the first time was at the end of November. You were drunk, and I thought...” She trailed off, raising her head and looking at him again.
This was obviously not an easy piece of fact for Zephyr to wrap his mind around. “So you’re saying... twice? And Zeke--”
“Zeke never found out about the first time. He only knows about that one time.”
Whether this was a relief or not, she couldn’t tell. Zephyr’s face was a mess of emotions at the moment, which only made her own guilt grow. She assumed he was quite tongue-tied at the moment, and in a random bout of courage – or was it insanity? – she decided to get it all out in the open
“Zephyr, I’m...” She swallowed and took a deep breath. Fuck this. “I’m not pregnant.” A second’s pause, in which Zephyr’s expression changed from confused to simply broken. “I mean, I was, but I got an abortion. In Chicago. I didn’t want you to know, didn’t want to bother you, ‘cause it would be much easier if you didn’t have to deal with it on top of the whole thing with Zeke and all. But then I came home, and you...” She felt so stupid, but carried on as not to lose the little courage she had. “When you said you’d slept with Zeke, something just broke, in my head, you know? And I got so pissed, and I... I said I was pregnant.”
There. Now he knew. She couldn’t bear to look at him, so she looked everywhere else but in front of her. When he didn’t make a sound, he mouth started up again.
“You were so smug about it.” There was a plea for understanding in her voice. “An abortion can make a woman feel strange, I know I shouldn’t have done it, I’m really really sorry, Zeph. Okay, so I guess I wasn’t being very nice either, but that thing about Zeke... Something just... broke, it wasn’t... you know, I didn’t mean to...”
Her words faltered as any reaction whatsoever failed to occur. Looking at the man in front of her, the look in his eyes now scared her, and she subconsciously started moving back ever so slightly where she sat.
* * *
The words that came out of her mouth were quick-flowing, ranting, stressed. Zephyr’s brain couldn’t process them as rapidly, which was why he experienced a slight set-back between what she said and what she actually said. Like a movie with the subtitles twenty seconds off.
Not pregnant. Abortion. Chicago. Zeke.
He looked at Dhani without really seeing her. Right now, he had no clue what was going on. Was she pregnant? No, she wasn’t... But she had been. Without telling him. And... she’d had an abortion. Suddenly, he found he was angry with her for doing exactly what he’d wanted her to for the last three days.
She ranted some more. An explanation of some kind. Zephyr realised how Zeke must see him when he gave him his own petty excuses, how Spencer must see him... How everybody around him must see his pitiful attempts to justify his actions, whenever.
And somewhere, somewhere in his muddled brain, among the mess of feelings and thoughts, something snapped.
“You’re not pregnant?” His voice was just little more than a whisper.
The scared look on Dhani’s face didn’t register. Too much information. “No... I’m not,” she replied carefully.
“You’re not pregnant.”
“Zeph, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have--”
Zeph slammed his fist down on the table, causing Dhani to jump. “You sure as hell shouldn’t have!” he growled, his brow furrowing. “Who is moronic enough to make a sick joke like that?! Do you have any idea of what these three days have been like for me, huh?!”
The girl quickly got to her feet as he reached for her, moving around the couch. “Don’t touch me, Zephyr. Don’t you fucking touch me.”
“Get back here.” His voice was quivering with contained rage.
She gave a shaky laugh. “No way. You stay there, and I stay here, and we talk about it.”
“You’ve done enough talking, Dhani. Enough fucking talking for a year.”
As he stood up, Dhani backed several steps, but Zephyr was quicker. Zephyr was so very much angrier. Reaching for her again, he caught a handful of her hair and closed his fist. She stopped with a shout of pain, turning around and staring at him like a roe deer in headlights. Grabbing her by the wrists instead, Zephyr tugged her close, glaring down at her, into those big, brown eyes. Her pink hair was ruffled, strands of it crossing her face, and the eyes were wide. He felt her heart race against his arm.
A part of him was telling him to stop, but self-control wasn’t his strong side. That had been proved time and time again. By Zeke, most recently. Zeke... Who used to date the girl who’s wrists he was clenching in his hands. The girl who, for the last three days, lead him through hell believing she was having his baby. His grip on her hardened, causing her to whimper, but as she tried to pull away he simply tugged her back forcefully. He wasn’t being rational, but something was blocking any further thoughts, which was why he stood there, looking down at her without a word.
“You little bitch,” he eventually spat out, watching her flinch at he word. Without any additional warning, he fiercely pushed her away, watching as she stumbled backwards and fell to the floor. Stalking up to her, her attempts to get to her feet and back away at the same time made him laugh, and it wasn’t a pleasant laughter. In fact, it was barely a laugh at all, not so much as a sound of all the tensions in the last few days trying to get out of his head. Backing away from Dhani on the floor, he found the couch behind him and leaned against the back of it, the odd sound still coming out of his mouth.
* * *
Dhani was nothing short of terrified. The sick feeling in her stomach was worse than ever, and Zephyr’s strange laughter wasn’t making anything better. When she realised he wasn’t intending to come towards her again, she got herself together enough to stand up, shaking violently.
“I’m calling the police,” she said faintly, moving towards the hall whilst steadying herself against the wall.
With the phone in hand, she took a few deep breaths before starting to dial the number. She had only managed one digit when a pair of hands locked on her shoulders, pulling her away from the phone. She screamed as she was pushed up against the opposite wall, once again with Zephyr’s face inches from her own. The look on his face was not one she ever wanted to see again.
She could never have guessed Zephyr Way was capable of being like this. That one thought came to her as they stared at each other, and she felt the tiniest sting of pity as she looked into his brown eyes.
Whether it was Zephyr’s energy running out or if he simply chose to stop, she’d never know, but suddenly he let her go, whereas she quickly moved out of his reach.
“If you’re not out within a minutes, I’m calling the cops.” She was breathless, her heard beating faster then she though it could.
Zephyr glared at her, his whole being radiating rage. “I hope you had fun.”
The sentence threw her off track. What?
But with that, Zephyr Way turned around and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Dhani heard his steps in the stairway, then a few moments later an engine starting up, and the sound of a car driving away. Letting out a contained breath, she collapsed against the wall, crying as hard as she could without making herself feel even more sick.
* * *
When Zephyr got into the passenger seat, he didn’t bother Caleb with a look. “Drive. Just fucking drive.”
But Caleb didn’t do this. “I heard a scream.”
“Drive, Caleb.”
“What happened, Zephyr?”
Whipping around to face his friend, Zeph showed him just the same rage as he had Dhani. “If you don’t fucking get me home now, I’ll punch you goddamn nose in, you hear?!”
Caleb kept as calm as he could. “Then punch me in the fucking nose.”
Zephyr was shaking, but for some reason didn’t follow through with his threat. Turning away from Caleb, he sunk into his seat, staring in front of him.
"What happened? You need to calm down and tell me what happened. I'll drive, but only if you talk."
He sighed deeply. "Please. Just get me home. I'll calm down. Just... get me home."
"I'll drive, but you have to talk.” Caleb turned the key, starting the car. “Otherwise, we sit here."
Pulling away from the sidewalk, they were soon on their way. Zephyr knew Caleb was waiting to hear what he had to say.
"She's not pregnant. It was a lie."
Caleb frowned. "What..? Care to explain that in a little more detail?"
But Zephyr shook his head. "No. I don't. Not now. Please, just drive me home, drop me off and leave me alone for a while."
And finally, Caleb obliged. With a ‘call me if there’s anything’, he dropped Zephyr off outside his house, leaving the singer to his own devices as requested.
Entering the house, Zephyr leaned against the door after closing it. He was nowhere near calm, not on the inside. Outwards, yes. But that façade was very fragile. Finding his cell phone, he dialled the one number he could think of calling right now, not for one moment pausing to consider if it was a good idea or not.