She had convinced herself that she had made the right choice. That this, all of this, was for the best. In the long run... it was the smart thing to do. Of course, she was the sort of person who would let this nag and tug and bother at her for ages before she actually let herself be settled and content with things. Though, at this particular moment? She was seriously wondering if she ever would be able to do that.
How, and when, the hell had things gotten so complicated and confusing?
"You? Don't even know the half of it," she replied with a small frown, tucking her hair behind her ear again, groaning inwardly at the nervous twitch. Honestly, if she gave that much more thought, she'd slip and say it and... no. No, no, no. She was pushing those thoughts far, far, far from her mind, because admitting them out loud let alone to him? Not happening. "You don't and it's better for both of us if we keep it that way. It's opening a whole can of worms that neither of us, apparently, can deal with." A pause. Yeah, that? That wasn't helping with the way she was currently feeling. Her chest felt tight and her stomach was ill and... ugh. "Nate. Please," she said in an unusually quiet and timid voice. "This... this is exactly my point. How the hell are we supposed to make anything work if you can't listen to or even consider forgiving? I get that you're upset. I get that you're pissed. Because you know what? I've been in the same goddamn position before. I get it."
Oh, as if she'd let herself actually cry in front of anybody else, let alone him. Ha. Ha. Ha. Glaring at him for his look, she breathed out heavily, glaring at him a bit. "Don't fucking look at me like that," she muttered. And... She wasn't making much sense to herself either, to be honest. She didn't blame him for being upset, but she couldn't stand it. At all. Not any of it.
Her brow raised a little at that as she looked at him. "And yet? You're still here," she said before going on. "If I say it," she said quietly, the slightest bit of annoyance and irritation in her voice. "Would it really matter? In your words, nothing I could say right now would me an anything to you, am I right? So why. Fucking. Bother?" Her shoulders lifted a little before she spoke again. "You are so fucking childish. If I really meant anything to you, you'd at least talk to me."