tell_a_tale_mod (tell_a_tale_mod) wrote in tell_a_tale, @ 2007-10-06 02:23:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | high |
Original poster: sanspeur
Dear Dominic,
Quite a bit has changed since I wrote you last. I feel very different..as a person, for some strange reason. I've realized more in the last few weeks than I have for most of my life..partially thanks to you..partially thanks to..I guess it was just fate.
I've thought about you quite a bit lately. I wonder what it would be like if I'd known you all of this time and you were apart of my life right now. I wonder what it would be like if YOU were the parent I have to be accountable to. What would you think of me if you knew me like my mother does..and would you still want to know me, or would you resent me? Maybe it's better that we've been so far apart all of these years..because I think that if you HAD been around, you WOULD resent me. You know what's even worse? I wouldn't blame you. I would resent me too.
I've developed this interest in fashion design and I've been going to college for it for over a year now. I think I'm doing pretty well. I even got this internship for a local design firm and I had it all worked out so that I'd work at Starbucks at night and on the weekend sometimes. It was pretty perfect and I was..for the most part, happy with life.
We've talked about how I'm not afraid of anything, right? Well..I have a friend.. This is going to sound ridiculous, but he's Death. I know that doesn't make much sense, but well, he is. We've hung out a couple of times and he's actually a pretty cool guy, if you can call him that. Oh, I don't know. But see, he can teleport wherever he needs to go and I decided one night it would be fun to see if I could teleport with him. Well, I did, actually..and I wound up in Seattle. It was only going to be for a couple of minutes or so, then we were gonna go back to Chicago, but he couldn't get me back..so..I was stuck in Seattle for like a day or so. This girl, Millie let me stay at her place..she said she knows you? Lucky her. Well, I couldn't get a hold of Ms. McPherson to ask her for help. Why I was going to ask her, I don't know..but you said to trust her, so I guess I do. Well, she paid for a plane ticket that got me home. She didn't even ask me any more questions. She was really sweet and understanding and I told her I'd pay her back.. hell, I didn't want to ask her for it in the first place. She told me not to worry about it, among other things. She really seems to like you. She spoke really well of you and answered a lot of my questions about you. I hate having to ask questions about you..I wish I could just know you. Fifteen years is a really long time.
Anyway..I lost my internship and my job. I'm not okay about it at all, but I'm trying to be. I got a new job. Things are as confusing as ever and I'm just trying to fix what I messed up.
I don't really hold it against you. At least, I try not to. I have no idea what it must have been like to be in your position. Part of me feels foolish for trying to find you again..for thinking that you can just come back in my life and be my dad. I mean, no offense..but I really needed one when I was younger.
Just to be totally honest with you..I'm high while I'm writing this. I don't know that I would have otherwise. I suck, I know. I'm gonna regret sending this letter after I send it..but this is me..no more no less. I just want..to know you and you to know me. I do want you to be my dad. I want to be your daughter.
By the way, I found a bunch of pictures in my mom''s stuff..that I wasn't supposed to see. Maybe they're the ones you were talking about?
I think I'm a lot like you. I hope I am. I hope you're okay. I still want to see you. I think mom hates me too. I think that's okay with me. I wish it was her instead of you. If that makes sense?
Hey, guess what! I do love you. You're the first man I ever loved. You aren't the only, though.
I really do hope you're doing well. I hope that I can see you sooner rather than later. You should know..you did a really good thing. I hope I can make you proud some day.
Soon,
Jade