There wasn't really room for both of them in the tiny shower stall the hotel offered, but Sammy made them fit anyway. Dean was glad, because he didn't want to be anywhere that wasn't the circle of his brother's arms. Not tonight, and preferably not ever, though he was aware that Sammy wouldn't be able to drive with Dean in his lap. He knew that logically, but right now he was feeling things emotionally. And for tonight at least, he was going to listen to his heart instead of his head. His head was still busted anyway. But that was okay, because his heart knew what he wanted and needed.
As good as it had felt to hold and suck Sammy's cock, to get Sammy's hands on and inside of him, to have Sammy fucking him and to come all over them both, Dean decided that also felt glorious to stand under the hot water and let it sluice him clean. Most especially when he was able to lean back against Sammy's broad chest, when Sammy's hands were running over him carefully and gently, soaping him up then brushing the bubbles away, and then lingering because it just felt good to touch.
"Sammy," Dean murmured, turning within his brother's embrace and reaching up at slide his hands behind Sammy's neck, tugging, trying to urge Sammy down for a kiss. His brother indulged him, but Dean could sense the slight hesitation, could feel the stiffness that was seeping into Sammy's posture despite his recent orgasms and the hot water pounding down on them both. He stifled a sigh and released Sammy's neck.
"Sammy. Don't freak out," he commanded, placing his palm over Sammy's heart. He was still broken but he knew his brother better than he knew even himself. He was different now but Sammy didn't change, and he knew that Sammy was beginning to think too much and would freak out any moment. And that would just kind of kill the mood.
Sammy drew in a deep breath, his chest expanding under Dean's hand, then he paused, peering down at Dean through water-darkened bangs. His slanted eyes were dark and serious, and Dean met his gaze calmly. Sammy didn't regret anything, Dean knew, he just thought that he should regret it. And that was silly. But Sammy always had freaked out over silly things, which was why it was good that he had Dean around to remind him of what was really important.
After a long moment and two blinks, Sammy deflated, letting out a long sigh, and then giving Dean a rueful grin. "Guess it's a little late to freak out, huh?"
Dan nodded sagely. "Way too late, Sammy."
Sammy stared at him a moment longer, and then bent to kiss him, a soft open kiss with no tongue. Dean could taste the love and he wrapped his arms around Sammy's chest, resting his head on his brother's shoulder. He kind of wanted to grab the soap and wash Sammy the way Sammy had washed him, but right now he needed to hold on tight, because there was too much love rushing through him and he felt in danger of being swept away. Not the way that he got lost sometimes now. He'd never felt more grounded, actually, not since he'd been captured by the Melusine and possibly never before that either. But the love was so strong, so intense, that if he didn't hold on tight to Sammy he'd probably wind up crying or something, and it was more than likely that his brother would take that the wrong way.
Sammy's hand was heavy and warm where it rubbed comfortingly at his upper back, but he didn't say anything. Sammy understood and knew that words were unnecessary and useless right now. Dean snuggled closer.
Then Sammy's stomach growled between them, surprising a little laugh out of Dean. He realized suddenly that he was hungry too. Ravenous, really, and even though his cock was rousing again, pressing against Sammy's thigh where they stood so closely together, food was definitely of a higher priority.
"You promised me pizza, Sammy," he said, loosening his hold and stepping back. He smiled up at his brother, and his throat ached at the open love and adoration he could read on Sammy's face in return, but, dude, pizza.
"Sure did," Sammy murmured thickly, bending to kiss him again as he turned the water off.
Dean smiled happily as they stepped out of the shower. He was warm and clean, he had his Sammy all to himself, he'd gotten Sammy to have sex with him, he'd averted the inevitable freak-out, and they were going to have pizza for dinner and then maybe some more sex. He might be younger now and broken, but he was an awesome big brother!
Of course, as Sammy helped him towel dry and didn't say anything when Dean stole his favorite navy teeshirt, just kissed him again, then settled Dean in his lap with the remote while he paged through the phone book and placed an order for a large pizza with everything, breadsticks, and a cinnamon roll... Dean had to admit that Sammy made a pretty good big brother too.
Well, that was only to be expected; after all, Sammy had learned from the best.
Missouri would normally have been in bed for an hour by the time Sam Winchester could be bothered to call her, but she'd been waiting up for the phone to ring, and she wasn't surprised that it was late, had no doubts that the boys had been very busy. As certain as she was that Sam would check in their first night out, she also knew that Dean was going to make a move, that he'd been patient long enough, and she had to shake her head, wondering if Sam had even known what had hit him.
Despite her words to Sam, Missouri didn't really think that the choice had been his. She'd been aware that Dean was only waiting for his chance, and that Sam wasn't going to be able to resist once his brother brought his wiles into play. Her lecture really had only been for the intent of setting Sam's mind at ease once he and his brother had fallen into a sexual relationship to match their emotional one. She may have been a bit untruthful when presenting it to him as a choice he would have to make, but at the time that had been what he'd needed to hear.
So when the phone rang at a quarter to eleven, she didn't even need her powers -- or her caller I.D. -- to know who it was on the other end of the line.
"Took your own sweet time, didn't you?" she snapped into the phone, but not angrily. If anything, she was feeling filled with affection, but it wouldn't do to let those boys get away with being delinquent.
"Hey, Missouri," Sam chuckled, and that was good, because he sounded more cheerful and relaxed than she'd heard him yet. And recalling the young man who had shown up on her doorstep a mass of negative emotions and roiling pain, Missouri could only marvel at the transformation. It might not be ideal, but those Winchester boys were good for each other. "Sorry I didn't call sooner."
"Uh-huh. I'm sure you were busy," Missouri couldn't help but say dryly, stifling a chuckle at the little choking sound that Sam made. "You boys doing all right?"
"Good," Sam replied instantly, his voice a little strained but the declaration honest and unfiltered. "We're doing great, Missouri."
"We had pizza," she could hear Dean say in the background, sounding incredibly pleased by that fact. A sudden rush of tears filled her eyes even as she smiled fondly. She missed them more than she had expected.
"We had pizza," Sam repeated, but he sounded distracted and Missouri felt suddenly anxious. His voice was dead serious as he continued. "Hey, Missouri, Dad called when we were on the road. He wants us to go back to Oregon."
"Oh no," Missouri burst out before she could restrain herself. "Oh, Sam, honey, I don't know if it's a good idea to take Dean back there...."
"I know," Sam agreed, sounding torn. "But Dad said he's found something."
"It's okay, Sammy," Dean assured his brother, then Missouri could hear the rustling of cloth, the sound of flesh rubbing on flesh, and Dean's breathing and voice were suddenly as clear over the phone line as Sam's were. "It's okay. Dad's trying to fix me."
Sam made a sound, Missouri didn't think it even had a meaning, and she was pretty sure that Dean kissed him again.
"Well, don't go borrowing trouble," Missouri said slowly, still not happy with the idea of Dean returning to the place where so many bad things had happened to him, but unable to gainsay John Winchester to his sons. "For right now... concentrate on the journey, not the destination."
"Yeah," Sam agreed absently. "I know." She wondered if he was even listening to her. "You wanna talk to Dean?"
"Hi, Missouri," Dean chirped into the phone a moment later. She heard settling sounds and Sam grunted, and she could visualize them, Dean plopping back into Sam's lap and Sam wrapping his arms around his brother. She was pretty sure that she wasn't wrong. "We're doing fine now, so don't worry."
"I'm not worried, sweetheart," she assured him. "Not now. I just miss you."
"I miss you too," Dean said. "This bed isn't as soft as the one in your home. But that's okay, because Sammy and I had sex on this bed."
"Dean!" Sam let out a strangled cry.
Missouri couldn't help laughing, knowing that Dean had been so brutally frank both to torment his brother and to set her mind at ease.
And, strangely enough, it had helped. She still didn't approve of the boys headed for the Northwest, but they would be okay as long as they had each other. Of that she was convinced.
Together, Sam and Dean would be able to weather any storm.
He tried to breathe, tried to draw in air, and his lungs wouldn't expand. There was a tightness in his chest that nothing could ease.
He flailed, panic overriding his senses. His movements were sluggish, slow, and he felt as though there was pressure against every inch of his body. But the worst thing was that he couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe, there was no air in his lungs, but he was still awake, still aware, and he was drowning, drowning....
Underwater! It struck him suddenly, filling him with horror and fear, his eyes bulging but only seeing darkness. He was trapped, underwater, unable to breathe but not able to flee his tortured consciousness. He strained, silently screaming, and suddenly there was the surface and he burst--
Sam jolted awake with the cry of "DAD!" on his lips, though he couldn't have said why. His skin was covered in a layer of sweat so thick that he almost felt his dream -- nightmare -- had been reality, that he really had been trapped underwater.
"Sammy?" Dean sat up next to him, and Sam flinched as his brother put a hand on his shoulder, the entire surface of his skin oversensitized. Had he been dreaming of what Dean had experienced at the hands of the Melusine? Sam shuddered violently, still tangled in the phantom fear of the nightmare. He'd felt so helpless, had been so trapped, it had been so horrifying, not being able to breathe no matter how he'd tried.
But if it had been Dean's past, then why had Sam awakened with their father foremost in his thoughts?
"I'm okay," he mumbled, even though it wasn't true, sliding back under the covers, pulling Dean down with him and burying his face against his brother's shoulder. Here in the night, with Dean's warm scent surrounding him and Dean's fingers carding through his hair, Sam could pretend for a moment that he was the younger brother again, still, and he could seek comfort and reassurance. And Dean would give it, he was confident. "I'm okay, Dean. It was just a dream."
Dean held him silently for a while, giving Sam a chance to get himself back under control, time for his pulse to slow, his heart to quit racing. The adrenaline left him trembling, and Sam concentrated on breathing deeply and evenly. He felt an unaccountable gladness that he was able to breathe. God, had that been what it had been like for Dean?! God!
"Daddy is okay," Dean finally said, in his little boy voice, shattering the illusion of the older brother, sounding half asleep. "He's safe, Sammy. He's just sleeping."
Sam nodded, raising his head and gazing down at Dean. There was some dull electric light coming in through a crack in the curtain and Dean looked rumbled, sleepy, adorable. Sam could feel the nightmare slipping away, losing its hold on him, and he sighed with relief.
Dean smiled up at him, his eyes barely propped open. It was after four a.m. and they'd been sleeping soundly for hours. After getting off the phone with Missouri they'd started with pizza-flavored kisses and finished with Dean's dick in Sam's mouth, before Sam had gotten them both off with his hand. He hadn't been very good at sucking cock, Sam would be the first to admit, but Dean hadn't seemed to mind, had responded very enthusiastically. By the time he got them both off, they were more than ready to crash, and Sam had thought that they'd sleep through the night.
He hadn't counted on a nightmare. And certainly not that he'd be the one to have it.
Snuggling back together with Dean, both of them holding each other, Sam yawned. His brother was warm and soft against him, and he was ready to let go of the dream, to sink into comfortable oblivion again.
"Daddy's sleeping." Dean's words followed Sam as he drifted back into slumber. And he never once thought that there might be more to them.